If Americans could have only one child, they would prefer that it be a boy rather than a girl, by a 40% to 28% margin, with the rest having no preference or no opinion on the matter. These attitudes are remarkably similar to what Gallup measured in 1941, when Americans preferred a boy to a girl by a 38% to 24% margin.
The attitudes of American men drive the overall preference for a boy; in the current poll, conducted June 9-12, men favor a boy over a girl by a 49% to 22% margin. American women do not have a proportionate preference for girls. Instead, women show essentially no preference either way: 31% say they would prefer a boy and 33% would prefer a girl.
The real-world implications of gender-preference attitudes in some countries around the world are profound. A recent review article in the Philadelphia Inquirer pointed out that the preference for boys over girls is beginning to tilt the gender balance worldwide, a demographic shift that will have major consequences in the decades ahead.
The potential impact of attitudes about the preferred gender of one's child has increased in recent years because various techniques for prenatal sex selection have become more widely available - including ways of detecting the gender of a fetus early in the gestation process, and the increasing technological ability to select the sex of a child using in vitro and artificial insemination procedures.
The degree to which Americans deliberately attempt to select the gender of their children is unclear. It is significant that 18- to 29-year-old Americans are the most likely of any age group to express a preference for a boy because most babies are born to younger adults.
The impact of the differences between men and women in preferences for the sex of their babies is also potentially important. The data from the U.S. suggest that if it were up to mothers to decide the gender of their children, there would be no tilt toward boys. Potential fathers have a clear preference for boys if given a choice, but the precise amount of input males may have into a deliberate gender-selection process is unknown.
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I guess we're not as progressive & evolved as we think we are. How can we not have changed in this area in 70 yrs.? People always say they don't care about which gender, "as long as the baby is healthy." But in a poll to a stranger, where they can be anonymous, the truth comes out. I suppose people feel more comfortable with the idea of raising the gender they're most familiar with! Usually, when the baby is born, they're too busy caring, loving, & worrying about their newborn, to care that much about the gender. I'm not as upset about this revelation as knowing it will soon be normal to pick the gender of your child. That's a scary proposition! Hopefully it will be outlawed, like cloning!!
I'm not religious, but they say god doesn't give you any more than you can handle. Personally, I don't think I could've dealt with having a girl. The whole teenage "caring what others think", "attracting attention", "makeup", "revealing clothing", "gossipy", "nonstop texting", "boys wanting in the pants"... all that stuff, I just don't think I would've reacted to very well and would've either ended up with her hating my guts or myself in jail. With the boy, however, we really connect.
I have 2 teens (girls) and none of what you mentioned applies to them. In my opinion parenting is the biggest thing that determines how your boy or girl turns out to be. Personally, I always wanted daughters – they're so mach more loving and caring (IMO).
If that's all you think women are, then why have a child at all?
Some men who don't like how girls are objectified and victimized in this way are doing things about it, rather than raising a son who perpetuates it. Alan Johnson, author of the "Gender Knot," Tony Porter, founder of "A Call To Men" The easiest answer, promote women to the level of men in the political economy – vote for good female political candidates, promote and support good female workers, develop work relationships and friendships with women.
Are you connecting because you're encoraging the "getting in the girls' pants" behavior? You would not be able to sympathize with your own child? Something tells me you shouldn't be a parent at all.
I don't think I could handle having a teenage boy, the entire date rape potential, the drunk driving, the stealing the car and crashing it potential, the low grades, the inability to accept his pippee size so he must beat others for it, the bullying, the feelings that he should dominate at all times, the lying, the inability to get them to do homework, the potential having to pay bail...the pregnancies..seriously, who would want to have to deal with a lifetime of selfish behavior? The drugs, the drinking the binging, the poor grades, but it reality, that's what helps him succeed in life, right?
Come on, you guys, do you really think Joe's THAT BIG of an ignorant jackass to really say those things and mean it? Although your responses are all quite appropo if someone WERE to be that big of a dink, it's pretty obvious to me that Joe's just trolling for reaction here...
...right, Joe???
Joe, Except for the "wearing makeup" part, you pretty much described my teenage boys. And as far at the "in the pants" business, the girls are just as interested in that as are the boys.
Joe...that is unfair, not all girls are just the stereotype you described you know..If trained properly they can 'connect' with their dads and be very amicable. As for hormones, boys have them too ya know...Read up!
"I'm not religious, but they say god doesn't give you any more than you can handle. "
Gag me.
joe... to suggest a boy doesnt have that attitude is amusing. you must not have paid much attention to the boys, either. or maybe they felt they had to behave with you differently, as probably a daughter would have. knowing how it bothered you. growing up with brothers, and now having teenage sons, we like to pretend none of this matters to them, but it surely does. i have the water bill from showers, time in front of the mirror, the perfect jeans, and even the gossipy stories about friends.
....because I suppose your boy didnt try to get in any girls pants or send text messages or have any type of moodiness right? Get real.
anne marie... like joe wanted to make differential stereotypes, so do you. raise your child with a solid foundation, and those concerns dont occur. again i say, having two teenage boys, i dont have those issues. with a higher expectation and a connection with the child, a parent can skip a lot fo these "to do's" with teens. this whole teenage thing has been incredibly easy and fun. i love how my boys are respectful to people, that includes the girls in their lives.
wow...most of the comments here are from immature people, all of whom I really hope are not parents! I had 4 girls and one son. my 4 girls are each very different from one another and my son was very difficult, although quite compassionate and respectful of girls. (he died at age 23 from heart disease discovered at age 19) I totally agree that it is the parenting that makes the difference on how dramatic or how irresponsible, etc a child becomes, but they are all different. and NO we dont need to blur the lines of gender! btw, did anyone notice that at least a third reported that they didnt care! so it's not that majorities prefer boys!!!! sensationalism in reporting as usual!
Joe, maybe you are not dealing with the make up and gossip stuff directly but if you do have a boy, you will eventually be dealing with the effects of it. No way to get around it!
Nicely said Joe. I couldn't agree more. Everywhere I go today all I see is revealing tops. It's ok at the beach but not when I go out to eat. And the attention they draw to themselves. Nope, give me the boys.
Joe, are you for real?
Boys can becoem teenage parents and catch STDs as well (including still as yet no cures AIDS and Herpers), they are more likey than girls to do poorly in school, drop out and not go to college, to drugs including steriods, do stupid stuff that they see in Jackass movies (when was the last time you heard of a girld sticking a firecracker down HER pants and getting burns down there from it?)or on YouTube and join gangs and/or committ voilent crimes.
It's all up to the paretning that a child recieves.
I'm not speaking for all girls out there. I was a calm teenager. If the parents are involved early on then they will the girl will rise above it. Then, again my friends and I went to the beat of our own drum. I think parents need to encourage individuality. You make girls sound very shallow. There are a lot of teenage girls who aren't texting non stop or dressing badly. Just wanted to put that out there. I care for my parents, as over protective as they are.
Joe – when the world stops viewing children as sexual objects only, is when people will realize the stupidity of all of this. And for the reasons of perverions that they do not realize their idiocracies, is unfortunately the same reasons that they want gender control. It is all about perversion, greed or some other ill fated reasons that only us humans can conjure up. If YOU of all people think that you should control gender selection, then why wouldnt it be one day that some ruler that us idiots put in power, decide for YOU what gender of kids YOU should have and when. Then it would not stop there, that same ruler would then want to decide WHO should have kids and YOU of all people should be the first on the list of the who-should-nots, simply because of your idiotic Hitlerized thought process! Grow up!
Whoa whoa whoa. all of you. I'm sorry but as a married man who has 2 siblings with girls 1 best friend with a girl as well. They all went throguh those problems, men don't deal with the girl problems as well as moms do, we just don't it's uncommon for those who do (because I know you're out there). BTW none of these ppl live close to one another so it is not a specific demographic of girl this applies to, it applies to all. The makeup, the texting, the men looking upon them like they were pieces of meat. Its the way our world is, its the problems we as men have to face raising women (girls) no get over it and stop harassing him because he'd rather worry about 1 dick instead of 1,000 dicks.
Sorry, Joe, looks like you're in the minority on this one. But, I agree with you to the point that they are different. I have two boys and two girls, love all four with every fiber of my being, but, I don't love them "the same." My older daughter is my intellectual challenge, my older son is very physical. My younger son takes it out of me emotionally (developmental issues), and my baby girl is pretty much just sweetness and light. (She's also a decade from teenage years, so there may be something to that.) Eleven years ago, if asked, I would've said "son." Now,...I'd probably give the same answer, but not so quickly. I'd call it a "VERY slight preference," based purely on being a guy. But, now that I have children, the whole question is hard to take very seriously...I can TRY to think like a childless guy again, but, I don't think I'd do it well.
AND I personally think I can't handle a boy as well. I was raised by a single mom who was awesome and made us postgrads+ and she is the most intelligent person I have seen in my 30+ life. I teach at a top college and girls are more dedicated, grounded and hardworking than boys. Actually it doesn't matter as long as you are a sensible person. My husband is one of the the very few men I have met who has never let his high IQ and success touch his head but very few men have such capacity and we (my hubby more) thank god everyday that our first born is a girl.
Joe don't let any of these bitter women fool you. I am a woman and I feel the EXACT same way. You can raise your daughters to be the kind of woman you think they should be, that is true, but as long as there is one little whore out there she ruins all of them. Girls are difficult, obnoxious, they develop empathy slower than boys, and these days they are hardly developing it at all. They are having sex younger than ever because their mothers are too stupid to pay attention. These women complaining about what you said are too busy commenting on CNN to be paying attention to where their little hookers are right now.
It does not matter what gender they are. The emotional upbringing is the same, love, respect, logical discussion and coming to an agreement and support is the foundation of all genders. And of course encouraging and accepting that getting into each others pants will happen. It seemed like the norm these days. DISCUSS it with them. Most fathers of girls are very protective due to his harmone controlled behavoir when he was a young man. Men face it, it always happens under your nose and you don't even find out. The girls love it/enjoys it. The boys proud of it. Joe you were once there or you are there now.
I am 14 and a girl. I absolutely HATE it when the other girls at my school wear (as my mom calls them) 'bimbo' tops. I do not have a cell phone. I do not hold with gossip and I don't care whatsoever about what others think of me, as my friends will tell you if you ask. This is a fairly idiotic steriotype, but(sadly) it does have basis.I know a lot of girls who fit these categories, but please realize that not all of us do. I prefer to call the ones that do fit this steriotype "buttholes and whores". Oh and by the way, gossip is better than having your son's buddies over and listening to hours of 'look at me, my thing is longer than yours!' That is what boys do. They also have several girlfriends a week, and you don't even want to know what they do when you're not around.
The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Don't deny it.
Funny, that doesn't describe my teenage daughter at all. I have two girls, am pregnant with a third baby and have absolutely no preference one way or the other. But I was thrilled with my girls.
I don't think people really do care what the gender is ultimately but everyone does have an initial preference and there is nothing wrong with that. I am the only male child in my family with my last name in my generation so when I learned my wife was pregnant it wan only natural that I hoped to have a boy to carry on the name. And as you said it is completely normal to want a child the same gender as you. I will have much more fun raising a son than a daughter and I would be able to relate to him more because I am a guy myself. That being said, those are only preferences and even though we ended up having a son I would not have been disappointed if we ended up with a girl. I would have loved her just as much and I would have sacrificed just as much for her.
But not had as much fun with her? Why? What would you do with your child that you couldn't not also teach your daughter to appreciate? If you're the dad you should be your daughter would want to be in your presence, no matter what activity you were doing.
You really can't gain much information from this "poll". The question is akin to asking, "If you had a choice would you rather be deaf or blind" or would you rather "Lose an eye or your hand." You obviously like both, you obviously would like to have both, but when it comes down to a do or die decision you're gonna pick one.
To say people are "less evolved" because of this poll just shows a degree of bigotry.
I think it just crazy to offer "I want someone to carry on the family name" excuse for wanting a boy. The fact is men want mini me's. You can give your child any name you want to give them and they can take thier spouses name or not. Unless I am mistaken there is no law that says you have to change your name when you marry if you are a woman or a man.
if you have a boy, you only need worry about one penis. if you have a girl, you need to worry about ALL of them.
what a ridiculously old and tired saying. if you have a boy, you have to fight a forever conditioning that teachers him unhealthy behaviors from day on. fighting the societal conditions that come with male privilege. an always tight line of what being a male is, per your peers.
That's funny–I'll file that away!!
Charming.
Girls are soooo much easier ... and hands down sweeter, smarter than boys when young. As teens, both are a root canal. Past puberty, girls do grow up but boys never do. A lot of prospective dads say they want boys and then fall hopelessly head over heels in love with their little daughters. Nothing cuter than a daddy and his daddy's girl; nothing more useless than a mama's boy and the mother who lives through him.
And if your kid is gay...?
My friends often remark that raising a boy is easier than girls because of the "puberty" thing. This infuriates me. I say raising a child, boy or girl is hard work. Both girls and boys need to learn to respect each other and to be honest among many other characteristics. My girlfriend asked me once, "what if your daughter gets raped, how could you deal with that?' and I respond, "what if your son is the rapist"? Of course she says her son would never do that, but I see the wheels start turning.
I'm a guy and I haven't raised get through puberty, so I'm not the expert on puberty here. But it seems to me that guys would be easier. I mean we can argue which gender get's more emotional changes during this period all day long. But it seems to me the big change for guys in puberty is they just get more "randy" about females. Girls on the other hand have some extra growths that will attract the attention of the boys next door, there's that lonely walk down the aisle as a dad into the tampon section. Then there's the whole, should we start putting her on the pill talk.
I'm not saying either gender is bad here. But I think if you look at it, I think there is more work involved with a girl going through puberty than a guy. I don't know where the whole getting raped/raping thing comes in with puberty.
*and I haven't raised a girl through puberty
well proofreading should be my friend...
I'm an immigrant to this country – moved from Europe when i was in my early 20s – and I have had my first child, a girl and I'm expecting my second, a boy. I can tell you without doubt that Americans have a preference for boys. When i was expecting my daughter, people actually seemed disappointed that it was going to be a girl. Family members seemed let down, and strangers seemed to feel sorry for me ("oh, not a boy, what a shame") – at first I thought I was imagining it a little, but the more I encountered the attitude, the more I realized it was real. Some people would even say outright, "I don't know what I'd do with a girl!" (What does that even mean!?). Most surprising to me was that so many women had that attitude. Do we really hate ourselves that much, or think so little of ourselves as women that we don't see the value in a daughter!?
I think this is just another sign of how America is not nearly as progressive or unbiased as it thinks. Men and boys are clearly favored. I think its a little embarassing that we don't see the amazing qualities, strengths, potential and value in our amazing girls and young women. Perhaps the reason so many of our young girls struggle with self-esteem and self-image is because they also feel this bias. I certainly think we put pressures and expectations on our daughters that don't exist for our boys, and we almost expect them not to be good enough, right from conception!! Time to smarten up.
Growing up in Europe, I can honestly say that I never felt under-valued for being a girl. In fact, I excelled in school and athletics and I had a wonderful relationship with my father – better than my brother – who treated me with exactly the same expectations he had of my brother.
I feel sad for my daughter that she had to grow up in a country where she is valued or wanted less, right from the moment she's conceived. My husband and I are determined to make sure she never really feels that way.
I'm sorry you've had those experiences here in this country, but my own experience as a female growing up in America has been far different. (I have never had anybody tell me that they preferred one gender over another once they knew what sex the child was. and I'm part of a VERY large extended family and community. Most people are happy with whatever they get.)
I have seen great progress over the years in the fortunes of women in this country. In fact, I think America has set the tone for the rest of the world. We struggle with it here, but I don't know of anyplace else in the world that we would be better off.
I am 36 week pregnant with our first child and she is a GIRL!! I also wanted a girl because I have 3 younger sisters and they are all loving, caring and did very well in school, of course, we all love our parents so much. However, my mother wanted a boy so badly (we are Chinese) so she tried and tried to have a boy. On the other hand, my father, a very liberal man, does not care at ALL.... my grandma once told me when I was 4 year old – "I love girls, they are good and smart". That really imprinted in my head forever, my grandma was a strong and unbiased Chinese woman even back then.
I think the most important thing is to be a good parent yourself. No matter you have a boy or girl, bad parenting will not do any good. Please take parenting seriously, it is not like adopting a puppy that you should prefer it should be girl or boy. Good luck.
I also had a similar experience with my first pregnancy. Once I found out the baby was a girl, I had several dozen people tell me how sorry they were and how my husband must be disappointed. My husband only wanted a healthy child and was highly offended by anyone suggesting he would be disappointed in a daughter. My father-in-law did inform me that I was expected to provide my husband with a son. My second child was a boy and my third a girl and I was happy to not have known their sex during the pregnancy. My husband's family did not come to the hospital for my daughters' births or send flowers. They did show up several hours after my son was born with flowers and balloons. My children, all in their late twenties, were always aware of how the girls were treated differently than the boys in their father's family. My husband raised our children equally and had just as much fun with our daughters as our son. They are all highly successful and all were raised knowing they could do and be whatever those choose to be. Almost thirty years later, I find it so sad that girls are still considered to be of so little value in our society.
I think you are lying.First of all U.S.,Canada,and Australia put more money into girls athletics than anywhere in Europe,Women get paid almost equal ,and for younger generations like mine in my early 30's more of us have jobs and education than our husbands.Most of Europe is still very sexist.
Anyone – especially any female – who has traveled or lived in Europe knows what she says is true.
Plus, just look at the higher levels of violence against women and girls in the U.S. versus Europe.
If your an immigrant from this country and your family seemed let down, how does that reflect America? It reflects your country since I'm gonna go out on a limb and say your family are also immigrants. I haven't heard 1 person seem let down for expecting a girl. Everyone's been excited for us. Where are you living?
"to" this country not from...
Gender bias in this country is absolutely true. Sad when it takes someone from another country to point it out to Americans.
I find this whole study misses the perspectives of the people who answered. I feel that some of the follow up questions should have been; "How many children would you like to have?" and "How many of each gender would you prefer?". This study asked a question in a very specific circumstance and assumed that it was everyone's general preference.
If i only got one child yes i would prefer a boy because BOYS CARRY ON MY NAME. Girls traditionally don't. That doesn't mean i don't want girls or prefer boys over girls. It means in a very specific circumstance I prefer A boy. Now that i'm a father of two wonderful boys my wife and I are trying to have at least one if not two Girls to round out our family. I;m the one pushing for two girls; she thinking about one. I think if you would have had these questions asked you would have found that it is not that people prefer boys over girl as much as people prefer not paying for weddings or want their name carried on. There will always be favorites but i think the numbers would have been closer.
Most of the people I know 25-45 years of age, paid for their own weddings, and 1/2 the women kept their original last names and passed the name on to the kids (or hyphenated last names...whatever the couple wants to do). When boys are expensive, they are REALLY expensive...(court costs, bumming around on the sofa for years after you foot their college tuition, years of unpaid cleaning services, etc.)
My friend's son has her last name. The father isn't involved, so why would her son have his name? Not every son ends up with his father's name, and not every wife takes her husband's name, either.
It has never made any sense to me that the man's last name is the family name that is carried on. One always knows who the mother of a child is, but one cannot always be sure who the father is. There are societies in which families take the matrilineal name. I'm just speculating, but I'd bet the patrilineal naming custom results from the time when women and children were viewed as the property of men. If it was being done to guard against inbreeding, hyphenated naming or matrilineal naming would make more sense.
My sister and I are both married. Both of us still have my father's last name. My sister's husband even took her last name when they married. Both of us have daughters who are still carrying on the "family name."
Don't make assumptions. My best friend's husband took her last name too. Nothing is as cut and dried as it used to be.
So, it's not just Asian thing. I am happy that in the west they let the girls live when they are born. In most parts of Northern India there is so much female feoticide and infantacide that the male female ratio is completely off balance.
seems to me after reading this article it should have been entitled "American Men Prefer Boys to Girls" they were pretty clear that women have no preference... I understand how many men would have to change they way they look at women if they were to have to raise one and clearly that is just too much of a struggle for those less that are less enlightened... (Joe, I'm talking to you)
To say that there is an error in god driven gender choice, is to say that God made an error in choosing your own gender. Therefore, if you feel that there needs to be a humanized gender selection process implemented, means that you feel that God is not properly doing His work. This put you in judgment of God and His choices, which is a bad place to be in life as a human (male or female), let alone a moderator of gender selection, which therefore disqualifies you as a decent human being, let alone a procreator or a gender-selecting procreator. If you feel God made a mistake with your gender, then that means that you think that you are a mistake. So if you are a mistake, the best thing to do is to not procreate other beings like you whether they are boy or girl. The gender selecting parent is a sinister, selfish, evil, manipulative, superiorminded, egotistical, blaspheming person and should be discredited as even being human. How dare you think you can change this world simply by what your opinion is of whether or not a boy or girl should be born into this world. The only characteristics of a child that will cause this place we live on to be better, is a better generation of moral, spiritual driven, God-fearing people, whether they are male or female. The only process that should take place when it comes to humans is to correct your own behaviors as men and women of God first, then we can all raise a better generation of responsible ADULTS...instead of a bunch of egotiscal idiots that blog about our future kids as if they have all the answers.
That's because there are so many dumb men out there and dumb women who love them and let them think they're right.
Funny, I would of loved all my babies, one girl and two boys just the same had they been born not healthy............I was just so honored to be allowed three children, no matter how our Lord choose to gift them...........
Actually, if you read the results, it says that MEN prefer boys. Women have a slight preference for girls.
Men are sexist fools. No surprises there really, that's why men shouldn't be allowed to vote.
Has nothing to do with being progressive. I want my kids (regardless of gender) to look like our families, behave (somewhat) like the rest of our family, work and play like us, too. Heck, I'd even like for them to speak English! Is it odd that Dads want a son or Moms want a daughter? What this poll tells me is that women are more likely to lie to a pollster...Frankly, I find it hard to believe that women "don't care" that much.
Dan–Dads and daughters can enjoy doing most of the things together that dads and sons do. I was fortunate enough to be raised in a family that realized this and did not value one gender over the other. I was born in the "Leave it to Beaver" 1950's. After work and on his days off, my dad liked to hike, swim in the ocean, work in the outdoors, build things in the garage, play football and baseball with the kids (I had to older brothers), and he included me in all those activities. By the time I was in first grade, I knew the names and uses of all his tools, I could catch and run with a football (I could throw accurately but not very far), I could catch and throw a baseball (but I was a little afraid of catching a ball hit hard in my direction), I was and have always been an excellent batter, I knew how to build and drive a go-cart, I was and always have been an excellent open-water swimmer, I could downhill ski (passably), I liked to hike and camp and knew how to set up a tent and cook over a campfire. I knew some practical physics, I could caulk a window, lay bricks, mix cement, help put chains on the car in winter, etc. I knew and enjoyed these things because my dad took the time to show me how to do them and let me "help" him whenever he was doing them. I learned a love of art and developed a sense of style from my mom and a love of music and reading from my mom and dad. My parents shared the household duties and my brothers and I helped out without regard to the typical gender roles of the time. Even though my brothers were much older than I was, they included me in these kinds of activities too because my mom and dad set the example. I grew up to be a confident, capable, well rounded human being (as did my brothers) because my parents set such wonderful examples and pretty much did not discriminate by gender in raising us (I played with both girls and boys toys). I am forever grateful that my parents did not raise us within the strict gender roles of the time, but chose instead to us raise us as if we all had unlimited potential. They taught to live our lives with love, respect, strength, honesty and integrity through their example. They let us experiment and learn where our talents and interest would take us and guided us away from harm. Until my dad passed away, we often worked together on outdoors projects and building things around our homes, and we enjoyed camping and other outdoors activities together well into his 80's. I am just so glad that he did not have your limited view of what fathers and daughters and all family members can do and enjoy together.
When you get older you realize girls are really better!!! Girls keep a check on their parents and grandparents.A boy might bring you a meal but a girl will cook for you too and do things for you that a boy won't. Also girls love their dad more than boys. I have both and liked a boy best when I was young. Now that I'm older I realize how good girls are!!!
If you read the chart, women are pretty evenly split; it's the men who have a decided preference. No surprise there. The lack of evolution strongly skews toward the same old lunkheads, for reasons that also never change.
We didn't need a poll to prove that bigotry is alive and well, but there it is. I will say this though: Folks who prefer one gender over another shouldn't be having kids at all.
I don't really know how you can be so short sighted as to think of this as bigotry. Sure, I will guarantee that some respondents just felt that males are superior to females, but I'm almost positive that for most respondents that the decision is much more complicated than that. Take me for instance, I'ma 22 year old former college football player. When I do finally decide (hopefully decide that is) to have a child, I will want it to be healthy, but there is also a very strong part of me that will really want it to be a boy. Not because a boy is inherently better, but because then he can play football and like fast cars and the same things I'm interested in. The idea that the preference to have a son, especially after seeing how much fun my father and I have had over the years, can act to label me a bigot is just idiotic.
Geeze, and what if he doesn't like football and fast cars? What if he likes violin and theater? What if he can't play football because he's too small? What if he gets car sick? And you do know that girls play sports, right? In fact, I know a family where the son is a theater geek and the girl a major high school sports star. I agree with you, this imaging of what kids SHOULD be like is a big reason people want one gender over the other, but what I'd really hope is we've reached the level of sufficient emotional/psychological sophistication to accept that our kids are separate entities. They aren't US. And deserve not to be shoved into boxes we construct about how who or what they should be.
Okay maybe it's not bigotry, it's just socially engrained sexism. Does that make you feel better? The fact is that we should have this happening in this day in age.
As a woman, I would prefer a girl. I only want to have one child but if its a boy then I would have two to try to get the girl. Just think they are so sweet and intelligent!
It's total bigotry. Sexism is no different from racism. Wise up, Aetna, and realize that misogyny is a global problem and people like you who trivialize it are part of the problem, not the solution.
Having a preference of a boy over a girl has nothing to do with believing one gender is superior to another. My preference would be a boy, simply because there's a greater possibility of carrying on the family name through a son. However, if parents are only blessed once and that child is a girl, it's equally as thrilling and the child is completely loved as well. You'll do much better in life if you stop having such extreme views and be more open to perspectives that differ from your own.
You hit it, Robble. Misogyny is a worldwide problem - just look at the female circumcisions in Africa, and the abandonment of female babies in China as two examples out of thousands. Aetna's views are not extreme, but they spring from the same source - just not liking girls or "girl things." "You throw like a girl." "You're a girly-man." "Are you having your period today?" These insults and countless like them demonstrate the contempt many men in the U.S. have for women. Sure they'd like to bed those they're attracted to. But they prefer the company of other men.
Boys are more likely to make trouble and get into trouble. A world with less boys would be a better world.
OK, Kyle, how do you explain the second sentence in your paragraph, then, if you really don't believe the male gender is regarded as being "superior"?
If bigotry were to bar people from having children the human race would have died out millennia ago!
Totally agree, MC. I don't see how men who don't like women or girls could possibly handle raising a girl – or handle marriage to a woman. I hope they are getting vasectomies.
Bigotry? What a completely inaccurate word to use in this situation. Bigotry is defined as a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices, especially one exhibiting intolerance, and animosity toward those of differing beliefs. Simply having a preference for one gender over another doesn't mean you hate the other gender – it just means that if you had a choice, you may have a preference for one over the other. That's not bigotry. I really hope you don't have kids or pets.
I disagree with you completely. I think most people have a gender they would prefer when it comes to having children. That does not mean they would not be good parents, or that they would not love their baby if it was not the gender they hoped for. I prefer drinking Pepsi. If I am thirsty and can only get water or tea or coke I will drink it and be happy. Just like if I had a baby that was not my preferred gender I would love them and raise them to be a good person and hopefully productive citizen.
Its not bigotry- If you ask what someone will prefer then they will say one or the other. The bias is built into the question- The real question is whether you would love them regardless of their gender and the answer to that is always yes.
It isn't bigotry to have a preference. That's the dumbest thing I've heard today. If a parent says they want a girl rather than a boy or vice versa then that doesn't mean if they don't get that preference they would be disappointed or not love the child. It is natural to want to have a child that is the same gender as you and in my case, as I told another poster the preference for a boy was mainly due to the fact that I am my families last chance to carry on the name. These are perfectly legitimate desires and are in no way "bigotry." You may want a new 0 turn radius lawn mower for christmas but if your wife surprises you with a 60 inch flat panel instead are you really going to be upset. It's a win win when it comes to children whatever your preference is. They are all blessings.
For those who think its bigotry does that mean the women who prefer girls over boys are bigots as well?
No. It just means that the people who think it's bigotry are incapable of rational thought. Idiots in other words.
I think that's a bit extreme. Just because one parent or other would prefer a boy over a girl (or vice versa) doesn't mean they would love a child of the opposite gender any less. I think it's quite natural for men to want sons, because they were once boys themselves and understand boys. Women correspondingly understand girls, but because women are the ones who have the babies, they're going to feel very strongly connected to their child no matter what gender they are. Their child was once part of them, after all.
Personally, I'd prefer a girl, mostly because I've been a girl, and I've had extremely little experience dealing with little boys. Any time I babysat as a teenager, it was girls. When I was in Girl Scouts and participated in events with younger scouts, they were obviously girls. My niece is a girl, my new niece will be a girl, my little cousins are all girls except for one. I would love a little boy every bit as much, but parenting a girl would just feel much more intuitive.
Pretty idiotic statement.
I don't care about the gender, what I care about is the health of the baby. Healthy baby=happy parents.
Moreover the parents should care for the child, guide it and teach it about the fun and serious sides of life.
All my life and up til my ex-wife gave birth. I wanted nothing more in this world than a baby boy. I had a baby girl and I can't begin to tell you how happy that makes me. I'd take 10 girls over boys. She's special, happy, funny, intelligent and beautiful. I wouldn't trade her for anything in the world.
sounds like someone never ended up having a boy
Gee, lev, you've got genius level reading skills and wanted to show them off, didn't you?
All of my life I always wanted a daughter. When I found out my first was a boy, my heart sank a little. Long story short, he was so awesome and amazing, when I found out I was pregnant again I didn't care if it was a boy or a girl. I now have one of each and they are both so wonderful in every way. I am so grateful for both of them!
and unless we sink back into a hunter/gatherer society she has a competative advantage over the boys. Girls graduate at higher rates from high school then boys and are incarcerated at nearly 1/10th the rate. Testorone had the competative advantage in the hunter/gatherer physically demanded societies but in modern society, where cool thinking, computers and communication are in higher demand, estrogen has the advantage. Statistics show that higher level of female involvement in government and management = higher prosperity and a better fed population. And ,assuming you are in a monogomous relationship with your mate, your DNA will move on even if your name doesn't....in our world of morals (or lack thereof) the blood is more important then the name.
I hope to experience that someday as well but let me ask you, have you had a boy? I have one and I must say you're probably missing out just as much as I am. They are awesome. Can't go wrong with either.
My brother-in-law really wanted a son (he even picked out a name), but he likely won't have one because they're probably done having kids, considering how long they hemmed and hawed about having a second child. I'm sure he felt a little disappointed when he found out his second baby was a girl, and even though I'm a woman I can understand how he must feel. But feeling a little bummed out doesn't mean he won't love his second daughter every bit as much as he'd love a son. He's a fantastic dad, and I just know his two girls are the greatest joy in his life.
Boys are much easier to raise; girls are much closer to family after they are raised. With two of each gender, I count myself very lucky!
What?? You mean to tell me that the poll wasn't exactly split evenly with a 50/50 vote?? No way,people actually have different opinions? Nothing wrong with having preferences people, unlessyou start treating the other gender worse.
Start treating the other gender worse? You mean, how women have been treated historically in this country for the last 400 years? Or can I pull out stats on how women are treated nowadays? Like the pay gap? Or more funding for AIDS research than breast cancer, despite the fact that more women die of breast cancer in this country than people die of AIDS. How about the fact that Over 90% of rapes victims are women? How about the fact that the most likely cause of death for a pregnant woman is MURDER. So please, these preference reveal a real problem in our society. That problem is that boys are valued and wanted and girls are DISPOSABLE.
Women are physically weaker and have more of a natural responsibility for direct child care – this makes them more vunerable in might make right societies. In modern societies women do just fine. I, myself, am a very happy woman and not oppressed in the least. I am the bread winner while my husband takes care of the house and our child. We are a team and play to our strengths. I work mostly with married men including men from India in a male dominated field and I never experience any discrimination or oppression. They treat me like an equal because I act like one and live in California where women's rights are well protected. I point this out because not all women are oppressed victims. Some are, but many are not. People can value boys without neglecting girls. I am sorry if you feel disposable, but I never have and I doubt my daughter ever will. Of yeah, I did want a boy as my first child, but I am thrilled with my daughter. Does that make my daughter a victim? Not unless someone tells her she is and she believes them.
Since you're throwing statistics, how about the overwhelming percentage of adults that kill their children are females. Just saying.
Nuclear wars before women's suffrage: 0. Nuclear wars after women's suffrage: 1
2 girls 1 cup - there were no nuclear arms before women's suffrage. Hi, earth calling. Here's a stat for you: Inventors of nuclear weapons - men. Most likely to use nuclear weapons - men.
Also, for the person who thinks more women kill their children - you also are statistically challengde. More men kill their families - wives and children. More men kill period, like 99 percent of the time. Hope you're not one of those who doesn't let the facts get in the way of your opinion.
logicfirst – You have failed to put logic first in your comment. Having an overwhelming preference does indicate a difference in treatment.
Girls take care of parents better when parents grow older. Boys carried away with their life especially after they get married and wife commands all rules of life.
your words make me happy, I have two girls.
This actually annoys me. Men/boys are less involved, IMO, in caring for people because we absolve them of that responsibility. I see my mother do it to my brother and I've seen my grandmother do it to my uncles. As young boys we say things like "boys will be boys", which is just another way of saying that we shouldn't hold them responsible for what they are doing. There's not reason why women she bear the brunt of the care for a relative.
amen sister
The title should read "American MEN still prefer having boys to girls"– the women seem to be evenly split, with the plurality not caring one way or the other.
Yes, I wish they would have explained what the results were in 1941 (was it men's preference then or both sexes).
The article said the 1941 numbers were basically the same, and the numbers are in the article. There's probably no more logic for the preferences then, than there are now.
Actually, the article says that 2/3 of women have a preference one way or the other. Only 1/3 don't care which. If this is bigotry, 1/3 of women are bigots as well. I don't think things are quite that simple, though. People have socially-formed opinions about the genders, and we have biases in everything else we get to choose. This really isn't surprising that if given the choice, some people would choose one way or the other.
I am a Chinese, not Americans only, also same situation in China, Men like boys
Janet was the only one who posted the most important take-away from this lacking-any-real-information article
I agree with Janet. This article's title should say "MEN" still prefer. And it just shows how little sense those people have if they undervalue females. Can't wait till men are obsolete. <-just kidding!!
"just kidding". Are you sure?
How in the world does having a preference for a boy undervalue females? You must think that men who prefer boys and then have girls end up hating them. A preference before even knowing the gender doesn't make you some kind of bigot. Why are people now hated for having a preference for one or the other. And what about all those women and men who prefer girls? Why is this so one sided? Because more men (Not even a majority) prefer boys than girls? Are the men who prefer girls over boys just as bad for having a preference?
It doesn't necessarily undervalue females, but it has the potential to. Especially knowing how this gender preference for boys is propogated through other countries as a higher infant mortality for girls. It riles us (women) up. I think it should be understandable why that is. It also suggests to us that men don't value girls as much as the value boys, even if they would never be harmful to any daughters they might have. If you prefer one gender over another there is a reason for that preference, and that reason is typically tied to liking characteristics of one gender over another. And if you're content to do that with your child, then what's to stop you from doing that in say hiring a person for a job? There is still a strong bias against women in this world, despite how far we've come. It should be no surprise that we rail against it at even the slightest indication.
@Alyssa: First of all, don't use blanket statements like "it riles us up" as if you've been voted to be the spokesperson for all women. You're not, and you don't speak for me. You're overthinking & over analyzing this survey and launching into ridiculous tangents. I'm sure if the survey question was, "Do you prefer vanilla or chocolate", you'd spin this to be a racially driven survey that would have a negative global impact. Just relax and lighten up. People have preferences on every topic imaginable and their preferences are none of your business. So get off your high horse, go live your life, and let others do the same.
Alyssa–I think you are spot on.
Wishing for a boy does not mean fathers devalue daughters. Every dad of little girls I know are absolutely nuts about their daughters, and if they also have sons they don't give their boys preferential treatment. Older generations of women sometimes recall childhoods where their brothers were treated better than they were, but today's generations of girls are different. These days, girls overall do well in school, they play sports, they're tech savvy... most have interests that they can share with their dads. Dads today are also a lot more hands-on with their kids in general, and will happily sit down to play tea party or dress up with their daughters.
It actually seems pretty natural that men would hope for a boy. They were once boys themselves. Women are the ones who actually carry the baby, so considering all that a woman goes through to have her child, she's just happy to give birth to a healthy baby regardless of gender. Still, if you asked a mom of all boys if she wished she had had a girl to do "girl stuff" with, she most likely would say yes... and it doesn't mean that she loves her boys any less.
It drives me crazy when people make general statements to imply that they fit everyone. I'm female and I was never a 'girly girl' and I never grew up to be one either. I never liked pink frilly clothes, I don't like to cook, I don't gossip, play with sparkly things or whatever other stupid stereotype examples you believe to fall into the category of 'girly stuff'. I have an MBA and hold a senior executive level position and I enjoy vacations, camping, little league games, weekly family game night/pizza, rollerblading, etc. with my husband and children. I never wished for a girl, I never wished for a boy. I wished for a happy, healthy family and that's what I have. Please stop assuming that you speak on behalf of all women.
I agree with MamaO – I have two children of each gender and I couldn't be more thrilled! They are all special in their own way and I am so blessed to have them. There are pros and cons to raising both boys and girls, although I must say my hubby insisted on finding out the sex of our first child beforehand b/c he wanted a boy so badly... he figured he would need to mentally prepare himself b4 the birth in case we had a girl. His whole attitude upset me at the time. However, now that he has two daughters who are total "daddy's girls", he has definitely come around in his way of thinking! (So I guess the poll is right after all based on his and mine first preference).
Bigotry? Don't be ridiculous, people. Most folks want a boy because it's a far easier journey raising one.
Would you rather have to keep tabs on a 14 year old girl or boy? Obvious.
actually read the article. It is not most people...it is most men. Women are evenly split, and for me having a little girl is a dream come true.
Having had both teen-aged boys and a gir,l had a much easier time with the girl. Boys: bad grades, wrong crowd, car accidents, drugs, alcohol, etc. Girl: super student, artistic. But each child is different and you will not know until you get to an age what will happen with that particular child.
I all you want is an easy child to raise, maybe you should not be having children. I have two daughters and a son. The son took fewer calories to raise than then either of the girls. But so what. I enjoyed raising all three, and we are still a close family because my wife and spent time to raise them. All three were different challenges, and that was the fun of family life.
Honestly, I'm as concerned for my son's well being as my daughter's. All of the same concerns apply for both unless of course you are referring to the double standard of certain things being ok for boys but not girls.
@Kevin, it's not obvious at all. Unless like so many you're content with absolving boys of responsibilities for their actions. It shouldn't be any less devastating that your son gets a girl pregnant than it is with your daughter getting pregnant. If you raised him right your son should feel obligated to provide for that child. As a boy, you're son is much more likely to do drugs, drop out of school, drink and drive, commit a crime and be incarcerated. Is that really preferable to you?
Right. Only skeevy 40-year-old men want 14-year-old girls.
Possibly at certain ages, it's easier, but boys die in greater numbers when they're younger. There is a plurality 105:100 boys:girls at birth that evens out because boys are killed doing reckless things like running in front of cars, driving crazy, etc. When you say boys are easier to raise, you need to consider that they don't make it to adulthood as often.
Ridiculous. At 14 I had great grades, interest in activities and sports, looked forward to getting my learner's permit, and loved talking on the phone with my friends about boys (which drove my dad crazy). When my brother was 14, he started using drugs, skipping school, and getting into fights. Now (16 years later), his brain is completely mush from crack and can't even hold down a job at McDonald's. He has done prison time as well. I went on to college and wound up with a MBA, a great job, and a wonderful family of my own. My dad always said "boys will be boys"...makes me so glad I don't have any!
It looks like men prefer boys and women don't care which, somehow I am not surprised.
Actually, it says 2/3 of women DO care which. According to the article, only 36% of women don't care. The other 64% have a preference. It would be more accurate to say that 28% of men and 36% of women don't care.
Actually, it doesn't tell you the number of women in each group. The article tells you that in aggregate women have no preference. So even though specific age groups may have a preference, on average women didn't.
obviously the boy who wrote this article prefers boys to girls and enjoys skewing the facts in his favor by saying "americans prefer", completely dismissing the stats that women really don't care the gender. on the flip side, nowhere in this article does it touch on the intricacies of the drama involved in raising one gender or the other. girls have a much harder life – perhaps there are many parents that sub-consciously vote against bringing a girl into this world if they don't have to. watching what a girl has to go through is shear torture. not sure i want to do it..
It is bigotry to say boys are easier to raise than girls and it's definitely bigotry for men to say they want boys b/c girls can't possibly be like them. That's not how it works. How you raise your kids is what they'll enjoy. It's not determined by gender.
My dad raised me to like video games, 1940s comedies, science fiction, and comic books. He tried at baseball and failed. My mother attempted to raise a little lady and failed a lot worse than my dad did. I STILL can barely get along with girls b/c my interests, mannerisms, etc are all more "male" as society sees it, but I love my guy friends and I think my dad loves I'll randomly call to ask about what superheroes he read about in Cuba.
I don't think it's uncommon at all for dads-to-be to feel a bit nervous about raising a girl. Girls DO come with certain issues that boys just don't face, and unless the dads grew up with younger sisters, they might not know much about what little girls are like. They grew up as boys, after all. But once they hold their precious little girl in their arms and watch them grow, realizing how fun being a dad to a daughter is, the anxiety is gone and they can't imagine NOT being a dad to their amazing little princess.
after suffering a miscarriage my husband and i where blessed to be pregnant again and honestly didn't care what we had as long as it was healthy but throughout my pregnancy i did feel that it was important and almost expected to have a boy. from doctor's office to family dinners having a boy (which i did) seemed to be important so he can carry the family name and take care of me, um okay if i can do it so can my daughter. i thought it was only in other countries that a boy was preferred over a girl but that feeling seems to be everywhere. if you have a healthy baby you are truly blessed no matter the sex.
I'm surprised no one's mentioned carrying on the family name as a reason to prefer boys over girls. In America, it is customary for the female to change her name when she is married. For some fathers, it is important to see their names continue at least one more generation. To have a boy, means "we've done our part for our family name". And for those associating this with bigotry or anti-femanism, you need to lighten up. The article is about PREFERENCE.. that doesn't mean we wouldn't be just as happy to have a girl, it just means all things being equal, prior to birth, our preferences tend to point toward boys.
Maybe people should get over there stupid need for women to change their names. Who cares if your name is passed on, when your dead it won't matter. Historically women changed their name to show they were no longer the property of their father but now their husband...I think it is best we moved past that horrible act we men inflicted upon women. When my wife and I got married we actually both changed our names..cannot say the family liked that but who cares.
So Jacobi, you disagree with forcing the wife to change her name, so your solution is BOTH of you change your names?? Makes sense, lol.
So how about no one changes their last name? This does produce another issue; what becomes of the last name of a child? You obviously can't hyphenate forever. At some point one name will take precedent over the other.
Another great solution: Child gets mother's name in the middle and father's at the end. I actually know a few people who've done it that way.
While that will still result in the father's name being carried on, but no one ever has to sacrifice their own identity.
But it it's not about women changing their names, Jacobi. It's about having a son to carry the family name. If you have a daughter instead, it's true that nowadays she can keep her last name. But what happens when she has children? In almost all cases, those children will NOT take her last name, but rather the last name of their own father. As Kevin said you can't hyphenate forever; you either go with the father's name or the mother's, and the father's takes precedence because of tradition.
Good to hear, Jacobi. Thanks for posting.
A couple years ago when I was looking up some of my family geneology, I noticed that the whole "carrying on a family name" thing seems to be a fairly recent phenomenon. Even less than 200 years ago in Europe, the newly wed couple just took a new name. It seems that the significance of family names, at least in those parts of Europe, is a fairly new thing. I know this is not the case in parts of Asia, but it does show that it's not a universal truth. I actually think it's kinda neat to see what new names people come up with when they get married, if they choose to get rid of both of their previous surnames.
@ Kevin. Solution is – Girl keep her father's last name and Boy keep his mother's last name. So over time men will more likely to prefer to have baby girl !
Girl children could carry on their mother's last name and boy children could carry on their father's last name. Really who cares? If you raise your children right, they will make their own name.
Chetan–Wow! What a great solution!
same situation as Chinese !
Which has completely eliminated gender discrimination. Ha!
"To carry on the name" is what women told them men to make them feel better. Girls carry on the bloodline. When a woman gives birth you know the child is hers, you can't be 100 percent sure it is his. Sure we have DNA testing but that is not done "normally", only in particular situations. The male got his name to move on and the female got their DNA to move on.
Funny, in Islam, women don't change their last name when they marry.
No, they just stone them to death for "dishonoring" the family name by doing something as horrible as showing their face in public or talking to a guy. Real enlightened society they got there.
Maybe where you are from they don't. I have some Uncle's-in-law that are Muslim and from Bangladesh and their wifes take their last name. You might want to consider not painting all Muslims with the same brush. Muslims come from all walks of life and from different geographical locations with their own particular cultures.
what you say isn't even true for all Arab countries either:
"In Muslim Arabic-speaking countries, women keep their full birth and family names and do not change their family names to their husbands'. This is because of the majority Muslim population within the Arab countries."
"However, some women either choose or are legally expected to carry their husbands' family name. This is the case in Egypt and the Levant (Lebanon, Syria, Jordan), where Islam is not the official state religion or Islamic sharia'a (law) is not the sole basis of the civil law of the country"
I'm sure people have preferences before their child is born. But as soon as their child is born they wouldn't trade them for anything. In reality all people want are healthy children who grow up happy. They want to see their children grow up, have a successful and productive life. Maybe get married and have grandchildren, etc. It's not complicated.
This is shameful.
Shut up.
I have a two year old girl. When she was born I was up in the air about gender. Now though, I am fully sold on her. She is a treasure. Her girl-ness is profoundly adorable. and she loves her dad in a way only a little girl can. I wouldn't trade her for anything.
What would be interesting would be to ask current fathers that have both son(s) and daughter(s) if they could only have one child which would they prefer. I suspect they wouldn't care. I think also daughters are far better care givers of fathers as they grow older.
Yes, although sometimes if the overt objection goes away there is still subconscious objection or indifference to the girl. I saw that in my family. I think the issue of daughters – or even sons – caring for their parents as they age is mostly based on how the parents treated the child. My father was hostile to me, used me to be his intellectual friend (my mother was not this for him – perhaps because he wouldn't allow her to be), demanded that he be the only one who earned money (my mother did not do paid work) and then was not willing to provide financial support in an open way to the children he created, but was petty and withholding. I have no interest in caring for him when he is old – unless perhaps he owns up to his behavior, recognizes how hurtful and damaging it was, and apologizes – although even then I might not be able to forgive him because he caused so much damage that can never be repaired – a lot of lost years..
emily, you talk like as if you have experience and hands on knowledge about this.. are you a male? the men your describing have a subconscious disrespect towarsd women, you have a conscious and pubic disrespect towards men.. bottom line is that there is no difference between you and the men you are describing
Devil's Advocate says "you have a conscious and pubic disrespect towards men.. bottom line is that there is no difference between you and the men you are describing"
No, I don't think so. I am concerned that we live in a culture where 50% of the men prefer boys for the first child. It doesn't net out to neutrality like it does with women (some preferring boys, some preferring girls, some neutral). I think that these men's attitudes will likely show up in the way they raise a daughter – either consciously or subconsciously. I think it would be better for them to learn to be equal with their wives, to have women friends (including their wife) before they have children.
my concern is that people like you have poor and misguiding views about men in general, just look at at your statements peppered throughout this forum... you say your concern about the culture, but you consistently blame men as if they are this way because of their physiology and genetics.. i agree that culture plays a huge role, but you seem to have a problem separating the roles of culture and physiology..
This is shamefull that American men prefer male child over female .It is no different from india China were people go to extremes of infanticide.
Actually Jim, this is COMPLETELY different from India or China. Unlike those nations, just because we have a preference, doesn't mean we throw out what we don't want or resort to infanticide or abortions (based solely on gender). To put it another way – I may prefer coke over pepsi, but you don't see me poking holes in pepsi bottles at the store.
Well said.
Yes, in the US, the men are more often subconsciously or privately hostile to girls than in those countries. Infanticide is illegal in the US – and pretty easy to detect.
The subconscious or private hostility or indifference to girls is still a big problem, though.
I wanted a boy, but we ended up with a girl. I am happy I was disappointed as I can't imagine being any happier than I am currently with my daughter
She is incredibly intelligent for her age and very out going. I'm sure she will make me proud. However, I will be collecting the guns for when the boys come calling
This is ridiculous and barely believable! It gives men a bad name. Some people think of males as mean and cruel but its just not true. Its like saying all females are weak and sweet....just untrue. I would treasure my child no matter the gender.
This is news? I don't think there is a single important society on Earth that values girls above boys. What a stupid article.
of course, abstract preference surveys are nice and all, but when you look at where people actually have to choose - when they're doing IVF with the option of gender selection - the preference is 2:1. For girls. (Note: I have one of each. They're both awesome. Don't know why you would want to only have one kid.)
I have heard this as well about people choosing girls in IVF. There was an article in The Atlantic called "The End of Men" that discussed it.
That's like saying more Liberals voted for Obama... no, really? My point is, IVF is not that common compared to natural births. It's not a realistic representation of the whole of the population. Granted, I'm not sure how representative this survey is, but you'd think more conservatives would prefer males over liberals, due to their more "liberal" viewpoints. However, here we are on CNN (not known for it's conservative viewpoints) reading about how fathers prefer male children. I wonder what the results would have been if the survey was conducted by Fox News? – Just food for thought.
what?
OMG! BIGOTRY! OMG, women aren't equal! the horror!
Good lord you people are all off your rockers. Of course guys want a son. Duh. Has nothing to do with sexism – has to do with them more likely being interested in the things we're interested in. Of course the man-hating wenches out there would cry how evil we are if we said we wanted girls and wanted them to do the things we boys like to do.
GET OVER IT!
And this is why America is doomed, this mentality.
Wow- I am really worried about how those men who don't like women or girls are going to treat their daughters. Sometimes it's better not to be born if your father is going to be hostile to you. Very painful and traumatizing, and because of the male dominance in the public economy, it makes it very difficult for a daughter who grows up in a family like that to learn how to support herself (there's usually hostility to this autonomy as well by the father).
I know – my father was like this.
I really wish that men who don't like girls or women would not have children at all. I can't imagine they really treat their sons much better; they probably just try to make their sons in their image.
I think you are really reaching here. I haven't read a comment here that suggested anyone "hostile" behavior toward a female child over a male child. Most bad parents will be bad parents regardless of the sex of their children. And technically, if your opinion is that choosing a boy over a girl is somehow sexist, then so is choosing a girl over a boy. If you read into the results too much, it becomes a lose-lose situation for both sides. Preference is just that... preference. I may prefer a boy, but it absolutely doesn't mean I will be any less of a father to my daughter. And let's not forget, this is an unrealistic situation – since there are no forced limitations on children in the US. If you were to extend this survey to ask, "What would you prefer if you could only have TWO children", I suspect most would pick a boy AND a girl.
Most men who are hostile to women don't realize it (it is subconscious) – or if they do realize it, won't admit it. This is especially lethal with daughters because the daughters are often dependent on the father for parenting and also for at least some of the money for the childhood.
Even if some women prefer girls and some prefer boys – it appears to even out, which means that in the broader culture there is not the overvaluation problem with boys – that 50% of men apparently are creating and reinforcing – and the undervaluation of girls.
Sorry, what I wrote was confusing. Didn't mean to suggest that women's net neutrality on gender could fix the male misogyny, though.
You are seriously over-simplifying the issue here. I would agree with the results that men favor male children over female children as a preference for the ONLY child – especially since I think the same way. But to suggest the only reason is because of some deep seeded, and possibly unrealized hatred against women is just wrong. I understand your childhood was less than stellar, but your situation is unique. Most children (thankfully) are not abused by their parents, physically or mentally. Yes, exceptions exists, but there are far more complicated reasons for men choosing the way they do. Lumping all those men into a single category of woman haters is misguided at best, and dangerous at worst.
My situation is not unique – there have been many books written on the role poor quality fathering plays in hurting children, with both sexes.
The inability of many men to connect with daughters is a big concern – as is the narcissism where men seek to make their sons in their image rather than being able to recognize them as separate and different human beings.
Brushing things under the rug like you are doing is actually one indication of a poor quality father. If you can't look at the evidence and see it for what it is and need to qualify it ("it's just the first child" and so forth), then you can't handle being a parent. You need to have some capacity to see the child as he/she is, not as what you want them to be. And you need to look at yourself (or "self-confront") when they ask you questions – or anyone asks you questions, and consider whether what they are saying is true. Just flat out denying what is going on is not adult behavior.
I am a good father; thanks for trying though. And I would not put too much faith into some biased feminist "study" that tells you men that prefer boys over girls are somehow secretly woman haters. That is just absurd and downright offensive. I'd like to see your sources, though I suspect they are highly biased at best and therefore worthless. You should probably seek counseling for your problems.
it seems to me that Emily`s persistence that this has something to do with men`s inability to accept women is a symptom that is equivolent of what she is claiming about men... your taking stats and then superimposing a metaphor on top.. this is called rhetoric.. feminist rhetoric
@Josheph, that you do no like the results of the poll does not make it a "feminist" poll. That it supports an idea held by feminists that men have a bias against women also does not make it a feminist poll.
So its wrong for people to prefer a boy over a girl? Isnt that also an opinion that people are entitled to, whats so disastrously wrong with that. Its not like if its a girl theyll abandon her or something. Preference over another doesnt mean were in the middle ages or anything if our preference happens to coincide with those of the previous times. There the religious extremists then the secular extremists, too bad there arent enough moderate people around.
It's interesting that you say that it's not as if a father would abandon a daughter over a son. I read an article recently that showed that divorce is actually much less likely to occur if there is at least one boy child. In fact it seems as if men do tend to stay in the relationship more if there is a boy involved than if there is a girl. That's not to say that divorce necessarily means abandonment of one's child, boy or girl, but it's an interesting statistic all the same.
I'm adopted so for me carrying on the family name is pointless since I am not genetically linked to my father. And for me I have to make a point. If asked a different question to the ladies about would you rather have your own child or adopt a child most would say have own. Is that not very similar and selfish too? If you want a child because you want to be a mother would it matter how you become a mom? I think both genders have alot of room to grow. For men just having a boy doesn't ensure that you'll have a mini-me and for women not having your own child doesn't make you less of a woman.
Why would any guy not want a child with 100% of love and 0% preset expectations from either side? Fathers and sons tend to clash over what a man should be like and mothers and daughters over what a woman should be/dress/behave like, and sons struggle for independence from mothers. But, now that women assume responsibility for their own financial support and lifestyle choices independent of marriage, fathers and daughters have a relationship which is wonderfully free from any measuring sticks. Pretty I think other parent/child relationships should also more like that, but till them I am going to count both of my personal blessings.
Okay, but that's if you're only going to have ONE. If you already have a boy, I bet most people would prefer to have a girl as #2. And, if you were allowed to have TWO, I bet a lot of people would prefer to have the girl first. This survey is flawed because it sets a limit where none really exists. Also, WOMEN had no preference. MEN wanted a boy – probably because they think they'll have no clue how to raise a little girl because they never were one, and are afraid they couldn't play ball, etc., with a daughter - whereas women have a more realistic idea of parenting in which gender is less important.
Good comments. I agree.
I am a mother of 2 boyz who always wanted to have a girl child. To my own surprise, I entered in the poll that if I was to have only one child I would want a boy! Here are pros and cons of having a boy vs. a girl and why I choose a boy over girl..
Girl: Pros- they love and care about parents when they grow old. Parents are more welcome at her home, with her kids and there is comfort in such family fun... this is all needed in old age. So, as a parent, you have won lottery if you have a girl! She is most likely to give you happy old age days.Cons- periods, pregnancy and associated health issues, mood swings, menopose.... it is all painful. While trying to be equal to men, women end up taking up more than they can chew, trying to be superwomen! It takes its own toll on health and energy. AND thats why, I want to keep my self interest aside and not want a girl.
Boy: Pros- Easy to raise. No hormones! No subtle gender discrimination. Cons- When boys get married, statistically, they more or less forget parents, and stop caring for them. Parents are not much welcome in the family as compared to girl's parents would be.
Umm, teenage boys have no hormones? I think you are in for one heck of a surprise. And men have major gender associated health issues. Why do you think they conk out 7 years earlier on average?
And boys have no subltle gender discrimination? Why then is the greatest of insults for a boy is to be compared to a girl? ie. Sissy, P*$$y, Wuss.
Boys don't have a subtle gender discimination. They have an overt gender discrimination.
The article over dramatized it, but the preference for a boy wasn't that strong. Also just because a guy prefers a boy doesnt mean he is a sexist pig. Maybe just thinks it is more fun to have a boy. Both are great as far as I am concerned. People in the US adore their little girls. Don't doubt that for a minute.
my girlfriend is pregnant . we've had two scans confirms its a girl. for some reason i just feel a miracle a third scan can reveal its a boy. i'll still love her anyway.
According to the article, 72% of men and 64% of women have a gender preference. From the comments, it's obvious that people are disregarding this data and focusing only on one minority viewpoint. The majority of men and the majority of women would choose if they were able to.
I think the focus on the men's preference is worth looking at it. The women's choices net out to neutrality whereas the men's are almost 2.5:1 preference for boys. That ends up having ramifications in society. Why are so many US men so sexist in that direction? Are they lacking in skills for connecting with women in a common human way? Do they need to feel supremacist for some reason (i.e. are they weak and insecure)?
Do they need to be cautioned not to have children? And women cautioned not have children with men like this? I think so, for the sake of their children (including their boys, who I suspect may be valued more, but more because the father tries to make them his image, rather than being loved and parented for who they are).
Nice theory crafting, what about controlling mothers? They DO exist, as often as controlling fathers. Get back to the kitchen please, and who do you think you are wearing SHOES?
Yes burns, people like Emily are scary... I recall an experiment called Eugenics which resembles the ideas that she is putting forth.. I understand that life is tough for women, as it is for men, and we all grow up in different circumstances.. Sometimes, someone gets a shitty childhood because of a parent.. in her case it was her father and this has caused her to see men in such poor light.. hopefully she will meet a man that is both patient and sensitive enough to her misguided views and sway her away from such dangerous ideas
I don't think people are thinking. I have no clue why, but the sound of a male child (not infant) is 100X more annoying than a female child crying. Even if they're hurt the same way. Both are grating sounds, but the male child even more so.
Honestly someday I wouldnt care if I had either. They are both equally intellegent (refering to some people posting one gender over the other is smarter) But either way if the father wanted a boy and a mother wanted a girl and if they get the opposite they end up loving them very much anyways.
And btw WTF people stop being sexist over which one you think is better or not
This is so obvious! Sorry ladies, but the fact is in modern society, there is a greater chance that the boy will make more money, be better respected, carry on the family name, be stronger, higher work position, etc. Don't blame us, blame God or nature.. whatever you believe in. Nothing in nature is equal, i.e. the lion eats the gazelle.. boo hoo. That is just life, women will always be inferior to men unless somehow evolution corrects things... which even if it did, it would take millions of years to do.
I know people will call me sexist, but they are just blinded by political correctness and ignore common sense. Want proof? How many world leaders are female? I bet if you can name any, you can name them on one hand. How many CEOs are women? How about congressmen? How many women signed the Constitution? How many women Generals have ANY country had? Again, of course there were/are a few, but they are far and few between. You can thank evolution. Women are inferior physically and mentally... sorry... that's the truth just like it's the truth that so many of you feminists will be offended and you'll have to respond to my post with anger and hate. Oh well, sometimes the truth hurts.
I would just like to add, this goes WAY beyond the United States. Pretty much since the beginning of civilization, not one single society has EVER been dominated by females in positions of power. Hell, even the black man (a one time slave) has had a president of the USA; yet here we are, after nearly 250 years of existence and we've yet to see a female president.
Dumbest thing the US ever did was slavery.
A close second was giving women the vote. Women should not vote. We are vicious and take no prisoners. Look what feminism has done to this country. The female is deadlier than the male...and far more heartless.
"but the fact is in modern society, there is a greater chance that the boy will make more money, be better respected, carry on the family name, be stronger, higher work position, etc."
THis is actually increasingly untrue. For every 3 people earning a bachelor's degree, two are women. For every 4 people earning a masters degree, 3 are women. Younger women (under 35) do actually currently out-earn their male counterparts. Men are failing in this country. You have used your physical advantages to institute a system of slavery against women where she is prevented from reaching her potential, and then you point to the fact that she hasn't reached her potential as evidence that she could never be equal to you. Evolution (or your god) has nothing to do with this. This is a man made inequity that is slowly eroding.
Very true Alyssa. The existence of guns and birthcontrol pills are creating a much more even playing field. Male's can no longer use their mere physical strength to underscore women. Women are no longer forced to deal with inevitable pregnancy.
I dont know about that. I am female and have my own company. I make more than most men I know.
There are plenty of men who are bums and arent successful. I think it's a case by case basis.
I know I prefered a boy for a number of reasons.
a) I wanted him to carry on the family name (I kept my last name) and be named after my father and grandfather,and be a Third.
b) I had no idea what to name a girl
c) I have PCOS and I wouldn't want a girl to inherit that.
Overall I wouldn't have cared either way as I primariy wanted a happy healthy baby. And I got lucky, I got my little boy who is now a happy healthy two year old who was able to meet his Great-grandpa before great-grandpa passed away last year. Now yes, I'd love a second child and have no prefrence over gender, though a part of me would love a little girl just to even out the gender balance in the house, but a part of me doesn't as I still wouldn't want to saddle her with PCOS.
Jobs, activity prefrences, etc were no way factored into my prefrences towards which gender of child I wanted. And I would never do gender selection if that were an option. That just opens to many cans of worms that I am not interested in going near.
I have two kids: a boy and a girl. Personally, I have no preference either way. A child is a child. And there is as much difference between a boy and a girl as there is between two boys and two girls. We are all different.
Having said that, I feel that the elephant in the room is that women are upset that they are not dominating men in the gender preference "battle" as they are in other areas. Decades of pro-women policy and bias have shifted the gender balance to the point that the only area that men out-perform women is in how much they get paid on their jobs.
I fear for my son in this increasingly feminized American culture where all aspects of "maleness" are systematically eradicted from our boys' personality through social engineering via social policy and media.
I love both my kids, but I fear that my son will grow up in a world where it is increasingly unpopular to "act like a man". We are raising boys to become women with male body parts.
Or perhaps you need to be less rigid with what you define as male traits. Society is merely evolving its notions are what is the most beneficial for it. 2,000 years ago aggressiveness and violence was a useful thing in an age of upheaval. Today, the ability to communicate, especially with others who are not like you, is more useful. If boys can't adapt then they run the risk of becoming obsolete.
All I can say about your complaint about "decades" of policies that recognize and support feminist ideals is well big boo hoo. Try living under millennia of policies which grossly favor the opposite gender. All women are asking for is equal consideration.
I think it's really misleading to say that "American's prefer boys," in light of this data. Instead, it seems more accurate to say, "men prefer boys." Women seem pretty split on the issue. According to the table, however, it is MEN who scew the resutls.
If anything, it's women liek you that make us want sons.
Women who point our verifiable statistics?
As a man, I would probably prefer a girl, but I know I would spoil her mercilessly.
A boy I could take camping and fishing (most girls don't like the woods). A girl I could take to the Smithsonian.
I should have a son, because the woman I raise from girlhood would be a nightmare...and that would be my own damned fault.
One More Man-don't worry about the fishing/camping component-my girls are both dress wearing little princesses one moment and dirt digging worm finding tom-boys the next. Give your kids a bunch of experiences–from camping to cooking to building things to knitting, and I bet they'll surprise you! I've found that most kids have a huge curiousity for most things and just love to be learning new things!
I find that most girls don't like the woods because they are not exposed to the woods, probably because their fathers assumed they would not like the woods. As a woman, I'll take my daughter into the woods at any oppotunity. Nature has a grounding effect on children, boys and girls, that is unequaled.
Alyssa, while you may take your daughters and sons to the woods, i can think of many examples of mothers who would not take their daughters and sons to the woods... you go and blame this on ONE parent and it happens to be the father.. why is that?
Since I was bless with a man-child right off the bat, I don't really have to worry about this silly quetion....
Our first child, my husband wanted a boy. Why? He was a boy and didn't know what to do with a girl. I didn't really care either way. The difference between us is that I spent my teenage and young adult years babysitting and caring for children of both sexes. My husband never had a babysitting job in his life and spent all of his time around other males. People won't choose what they don't know when given a choice.
I think that's an honest assessment. I also think it's honest to suggest that people like the characteristics of their own gender more than the other. I like the Boston Red Sox more than any other baseball team, but if I grew up in an area of the country outside of New England I'm sure that would not be so. I like them because they are my team.
It is stupid when people say they "wouldn't know what to do with" a boy or a girl. A baby is a baby, a child is a child. If parents view boys and girls SO drastically differently that they think raising one over the other would be significantly different, they are raising their kids to be too sexualized. Why don't we just raise kids?
I think the thing that most people are missing, is that it is human nature to make sure that the species survives. Along with that having boys will make sure that the mans last name is carried on.
If people's biases were truly linked to the survival of the species then they should want more girls than boys. One boy can impregnant 100 girls at a time (or more!). With an excess of boys you have them competing for the limited number of girls who can only get pregnant once at a time (sometimes twice or more, but rarely). In the end, more boys means you have fewer children to ensure survival of the species.
Actually, if species survival is primary; then higher numbers of females are more important. A sure sign of species extinction is a high male to female ratio and genetically females have a 2:1 advantage of survival with any introduction of a lethal allele. Also, if you are a dad, you will have more of a genetic stake in a female child than a male due to the X chromosome carrying much more information than the Y. That being said, the best things to remember are that a healthy baby is the optimum result and that they are their own person and will turn out however they will despite (and hopefully, in spite of) any preconceived (no pun intended) notions you have of what parenting either gender will be like.
What a stupid statement. Carrying on a last name does not ensure a species' survival. Without women, where would these offspring come from?
With all the problems occuring (i.e. immunizations being a potential cause of autism, and other potential social maladies) I prefer children and grandchildren to be physically and mentally healthy, gender specific is not a requirement.
Actually, I had always wanted a girl. Didn't have a child until I was 49 and my wife was 41. We both wanted a girl... and got her! She's the love of my life, spoiled absolutely rotten. Girls are more affectionate, longer. And cuter. Getting to the age of dating and driving though... not looking forward to either of those.
While some would say that this result is the result of a great percentage of the US population being of Hispanic or Asian ethnicity, rather than white, the absence of change since 1941, the majority were white, puts the lie to that notion. The preference for boys has cultural origins, but one wonders if there is an instinctive motivation behind these results. Maybe people prefer males because we are naturally disposed to them?
I don't understand your question. Why would people be naturally disposed to having males? Your term "naturally" implies a biological or evolutionary bias when biology and evolution have no preference. Indeed if biology or evolution had a preference then that would be a much reduced likelihood of success for the species, whichever way the supposed preference goes. As China is learning, a preference for boys that is so strong that girl babies are killed means that in a generation you've upset the balance so greatly that millions of young men can find no women to impregnate and carry his genes on.
emily, you talk like as if you have experience and hands on knowledge about this.. are you a male? the men your describing have a subconscious disrespect towarsd women, you have a conscious and pubic disrespect towards men.. bottom line is that there is no difference between you and the men you are describing.
it seems to me that Emily`s persistence that this has something to do with men`s inability to accept women is a symptom that is equivolent of what she is claiming about men... your taking stats and then superimposing a metaphor on top.. this is called rhetoric.. feminist rhetoric
looking at these stats in emilyian fashion...keep in mind, emily, that your talking about 19% of men..
Most of you are idiots. "i want a boy to play sports with" "I want a girl to shop with" "boys are tougher" "girls are smarter".
1) There's more variation on that type of behaviour within gender than between them.
2) Having 1 child is probably worse than none. Without a sibling your child will be lonely and generally less able socially.
I enjoyed this gender bashing on both sides, me and my sisters had a laugh, and of course thanked our lucky stars we weren't Americans.
Burns–I completely agree with your #1 point-there's more differences within the gender than between them. I'm sure scientists would disagree, but I think it's not unreasonable to assume that 2 boys of the same family could be much more different than a boy and girl of the same family.
#2, however, I can't say I agree with you on. I think it all depends on the family and how they raise their kids. I know many extremely happy, well adjusted, sociable only-children. I've been a teacher for many years and it all comes down to parenting. I have also seen many children who are not 'only-children' who can't share and are bullies. They have been allowed to 'rule over' their younger siblings. Like you stated in yoru first point-there's many differences between each group (only vs. not only) and I guarantee the proportion of well adjusted vs nor well adjusted will be extremely similar.
This is horrible! we need to make sure teachers keep discriminating against boys to even the playing field, right psycho man haters?
Men are evil! They exist only to keep women down! Thank goodness we have the sacrament of sacred Abortion to sacrifice the man child to our master: SATAN!!
Equal rights means WOMEN TAKE ALL!
You are sad.
I have two girls and couldn't be happier. I think a lot of it is due to the fact that my mom and I are very close and my brother is less involved with the family. I think in many cases, girls stay connected more closely to the family (my husband is a wonderful son to his parents, but he rarely calls home). Call me selfish, but I was happy to have girls because I feel that the closeness stays beyond the highschool years, while boys are more likely to do their own thing, etc. Also, I do think there's a lot of be said about wanting what you're familiar with-my girls and I have so much fun making things, doing crafts, reading together, etc. I know boys may also enjoy those things, but I'd wager it's on a mush lesser scale. My husband absolutely adores having girls, but he was never one who dreamed about hunting with his kids, etc-some of the more traditional male viewpoints.
Regardless of what people secretly want to have, I just hope that people recognize what a gift all children are. I know that if we had had boys, we would have loved them to pieces and I would be on here writing about all of the wonderful qualities they have, etc. I'm also a teacher, and I can tell you that each gender has it's challenges, but each also has many absolutely wonderful qualities! Cherish your kids, no matter what gender they are and value them for who they are, not for what you want them to be!
one question i ask myself reading this is... why did your brother become less involved with family and why is your husband this way? is it because they are men, or is it for some other reason...
devil's advocate–good question. I wonder if it is generational. The question has come up with some of my friends at work and they all mention the same thing-they are much more involved with their families than their brothers are. Obviously I don't know if this holds true with a majority of families, but if it does, it might have to do with the different expectations of boys/men from my generation (and past one's too). I think boys have been treated differently in the past-expected to be less emotional–parents used to take a much more 'off you go' approach to boys than girls. It could be simply the difference in how men and women communicate-generalizations aside, I do think women like their phones a lot more than men! I call my parents every few days-he calls his parents every week or so. I don't know-these are all guesses, but I'd be curious to see what other posters think.
i agree with you.. men are more distant, i am a man and I`m not as close with my family as most of the women in my family and more importantly, i`m not as close as I would like to be.. but I don`t think it has any relation to my physiology of being a man.. i believe it is a sociocultural identity of men.. But, this isn`t the case for all men or women.. like my name says I just like to play devil`s advocate and I was wondering if you were passing judgement on men.. I know I don`t, but from the look fo these forums, many men and women like to do so
Rest assured, devil's advocate–I wasn't passing judgement on men. Obviously there are a lot of wackos on this forum (and in real life) who have some pretty outdated/sexist viewpoints concerning men and women. However, I'm not one of them-I'm a realist-for every crazy/sexist man out there, there's a crazy/sexist woman.
Btw-I was wondering if you were trying to allude to the fact that *I* caused the distance for my brother/husband from their family, but I wasn't going to bite on that! Luckily, I'm pretty confident that everyone gets along fine, cares about each other-it's just simply different. I bet you were secretly hoping I'd come back whining about then men in my family, weren't you?
No, i wasn`t hoping that *you* would come back whining about men because I could sense from your original statement that you aren`t gender bias.. but I will admit that I set it up as a pitfall for men and women that are..
I really like this respectful noticing of the differences. I am female and was a daddy's girl but more emeshed emotionally with my mother. I too have noticed the difference. I will say that it is not always the case but guys who are close to their families get viewed negatively often while women do not. Women too are expected to do the caretaking for better or worse and it is easier to do so for your family than a spouse's parents. I think this results in a tendancy for the woman and man to be more enmeshed in the woman's family and more distant from the man's. The expectations is the female members of the family care for the parents in most cases. It is kind of sad in a way. In a weird way, I tend to feel men have the worse deal in society and I think the need to have someone male close to them is why they want boys. I mean women get the kids and the parents and close female friendships and guys get the higher pay but higher stress job. In asia, everyone says that guys are dominant but women run the entire domestic show and the finances and don't have to work and men work 70 hour weeks and get a little coddling the small time thy are there. If the roles were reversed, you had better believe that women would expect major coddling.
Men prefer boys because they are afraid of what would happen to a girl in the teenage and after..They themselves have chased girls, grew up seeing the increased single mother culture and thought of someone doing to their own girl scares the hell out of them..Women on the other hand have gone through the phase and by the time they have babies are mature enough to know that boys can be easily handled...at any age and they believe they can teach the girl to do it
It all depends on how the kids are raised though I have to say girls tend to care more for their parents..I would prefer to have one of each..I have a girl and since I cant predict what is next, I would like to adopt a boy..
I definitely this the first part fo what you said is true. It's not that Men don't like girls, it's just that they're afraid they won't be able to "defend their honor" so to speak. They don't want to spend the teenage years chasing boys down the street, or deal with their daughter experiencing the same heartache they and their friends caused to girls when they were young. I know a lot of people are frothing a the mouth at this notion, but I think some men are scared that they'll get a daughter and going through these experiences with her will be some sort of penence for what they did in their youth.
Women, as you said, have learned better (unfortunately in society we HAVE to, and this seems to be a pressure placed only on women) and hope to pass this knowledge on so it isn't a problem to begin with. Most of the women I see who want boys still have issues with men and want girls because they think they will avoid reliving the drama they're currently in!
I don't understand why people keep saying that girls keep in contact with their family more. My boyfriend drives up to visit his family for every birthday and his parents anniversery, keeps his mom updated on EVERYTHING that happens in his life (I swear she knew we were in a relationship before i did), and they drive down and visit him every couple months. On the other hand, I only call my mom so she doesn't complain about not hearing from me. I even time it so I know she won't answer and I can leave a voicemail sometimes. I don't hate her or anything, I'm just not that type of person. My brother calls 3 times a day.
Alright, I guess I should have proof read...
*I definitely think the first part of what you said is true
*I see who want boys still have issues with men and DONT want girls
Seems odd. Considering the future is for women. I would hate to bring a boy into this world. My daughters future is looking bright. Girls are smarter, better at communication, and more patient. Boys? Not so much. Boys born now will be very frustrated men in the future.
yes, the future is for women and there is no way that this can be prevented...or can it
men have to evolve into a more feminine role. Or they will not be able to cope and pass on there genes.
your talking about the future here...who knows what can happen between now and then... Emile Durkheim and Karl Marx said that religion would be extinct and a thing of the pass by the 20th century... but it is as strong as ever today..
and your talking about social evolution of men... so keep in mind that any theories or ideas describing this process would most likely have been strongly influence by Durkheim and Marx... seeing as they were significant contributors to the field...
There's no evidence that girls are smarter, only that they are better at school. There's a difference.
I'm female. I just had a boy and I really didn't care if he would have been a girl. If I have another I want a girl, but I'll take another boy.
Though I think a lot of dads really love their daughters once they're born, even if they were wanting a boy. Then they become daddy's girls and daddy is hooked.
I would want a boy only because life is easier for men. Their life and worth isn't valued on their appearances like it is for women.
I'm a woman-and I can't say life it easier on men. I do agree that appearance/clothes/looks matter more to women. I've seen plently of little girls get picked on b/c of their clothes and no little boys (I'm a teacher). However, I've never seen a little girl get picked on b/c she's 'wimpy' or short, like I have seen little boys deal with. I think it's our job as parents to teach our kids what matters-give them confidence and tools to deal with obnoxious, materialistic snots-and allow them to see the great qualities they have. If the parents are constantly worried about keeping up with the Jones', then the kids will worry about what they wear, etc. But if you teach your kids about 'real' issues, they'll be able to shrug off the comments from the spoiled brats.
The more strong girls there are, the better the world is. Boys just take and take and take from the world. Most of them are rapists.
Or, you could be happy that you can have at least one child and hope it's a healthy one instead of being caught up in petty bs like gender. Who cares? Boys aren't better then girls or vice versa. Believe me. I have both.
When we decided to have our first, it didn't matter to me. Hubby wanted a boy to carry on the family name since his male cousin has indicated he doesn't want kids. But we both decided healthy was the primary concern and we made no decisions about more children at that point. First was a girl. We did later decide to have a second, but not to 'have a son'. We did have one, but we thought having a sibling would be good for her, brother or sister, didn't matter. But it is sad how much of the world does care. On the upside, this is going to slow population growth somewhat if there aren't enough women to go around.
iIf you have a boy, you only need to worry about one penis. If you have a girl, you have to worry about ALL of them.
Prefer boys over girls, certainly. You don't have to endure 10-15 years of irrational and psychotic behavior as they drag the family through their teens and twenties.
Right, because teenage boys are rational and sane. That's ridiculous. All teenagers are crazy.
Makes sense. Natural reproductive instinct is to make it so that your genes are perpetuated over future generations. When a guy wants a boy more than a girl it just shows that by having a boy, their genes will be spread more than if they were to have a girl. Girls can only perpetuate their genes 1 child at a time (unless they have twins, etc...) whereas a boy can sleep around and pass his genes onto many different children at once.
It's Darwin's way. Call it what you want "bigotry", "Sexism", etc... but it's just the way many animals are naturally wired.
On a sarcastic note, if this has to do with a natural sexual related preference inherent in people for the purpose of perpetuating their DNA; then wouldn't it be discriminating to try and prevent people from selecting the sex of their child? Wouldn't you be messing with the natural tendencies to try and prevent people from wanting boys more than girls...?
Thank you! I was just about to say the same thing. This poll does not mean we are a bigoted people or sexist or whatever, it's just a biology/genetics thing.
I hate to point this out to you, but children get their genes from both parents. Boys don't just get their genes from their fathers and girls don't just get their genes from their mothers. Your argument was a good try, but it is a fail.
When my wife was pregnant I wanted a boy and she wanted a girl. If we had had a girl I would love her just the same. However, I feel as if I couldn't play with her as rough as I do my son and other things. My wife probably feels the same way in that she loves him to death but she can't put makeup on him and make him look pretty. I am scared that my son will do stupid things in his life because at 3 I can tell he's going to be hard (like I was). I think I would be worried about my daughter screwing up as well, it's natural for a parent to worry. I know a lot of people of both sexes that have screwed up. All you can do is try as a parent. When they're grown, they are what they are at that point. I think there is a fine line in parenting. If you're too strict then your kids will rebel. If you're too easy then you're kids will walk all over you and end up getting in trouble because they don't know consequences. If I have another child I still kind of want another boy so my son has a little brother, but again if I have a girl that is fine too. I will love her just the same. I don't feel bad in having a preference.
well somedude, i hope there are manydudes out there like you.. i agree that there isn`t anything wrong with having preferences, despite whatever these stats and this article says. I hear plenty of men and women around me share that they do have preferences... but having a preference does not mean a parent would have a subconscious hatred towards a child just because it didn`t fit the gender preference.
You can actually play and rough house with your daughter the same amount you would with a son. Physically at young ages they are no different. The only difference is your preconceived notion that you shouldn't play like that with a girl. In fact I think it makes a girl stronger to do this. Treat her the same as you would a boy.
I always figured that we should let the world tip the balance. I personally look forward to seeing the mess in China and India when they can't find wives for all those boys and therefore will have no grandchildren to carry on the families of many of those people who "chose" (i.e. aborted or flat out commited full term infantcide for females) the sex if their child.
When you tinker with Mother Nature, eventually she brings it all back into balance.
My mother had ten (10) children. Five (5) boys and five (5) girls. She started having children at 16 and was done by 29 years old. In her matter-of-fact way, she told us all that if she could have had it her way, she would have had all boys. Now, I may be bias, but unless you have experience giving birth to and raising this many kids, everything else aside, I am not sure you can make much of an argument , on the grounds of her experience, that boys are easier to raise and deal with than a girl. I am going with her conclusion, after all, mother knows best.
Going off of the fact that she had 10 children before age 30 I'm going to assume that she wasn't encouraged as a girl to do much more than be a mother and wife. Typically those women are the ones that undervalue girls the most (or overvalue boys). She had her own culturally-established biases. That doesn't make her right for the rest of the world.
What I want to know is, if these numbers would be different in a matriarchal society. In patriarchal societies like the US, our cultural beliefs are in line with the biological/evolutionary preferences, but if a culture is matriarchal would that cultural preference override the biological preference? That would be interesting.
I don't understand. Why would having a male child be a biological or evolutionary preference? Biology and evolution prefers neither, as any perference either way would make our species extinct.
I'm the III (3rd), so I want a boy first so that he can be the IV. After that I don't care.
That's idiotic. Human life matters more than your family line. Don't be selfish.
Even if you had a girl first and the boy second, if you pass on your first name to the boy he will still be IV (unless your family has some rule that forces you to give your first name to your firstborn child regardless of its gender).
I wish I met these people when I was pregnant with my son. All I heard was an endless chorus of disappointment when I told friends and family it was a boy. Only my mom and husband seemed happy it was a boy. Everyone else cried, "I wanted you to have a girl!" It was annoying and hurtful.
Naturally I will not care either way. But i hope for a boy b/c my husband is the last male for his family. So kind of to pass the name along. Also, i am not a girly girl. I wouldnt know how to deal with that if i had a girl that was that way.
Girls aren't naturally girly-grils or tomboys at birth. It's all about the environment in which they are raised. If you want her to be more tomboy, then you have ability to influence that.
I dont want her to be any certain way. I just want her to do what she wants. But if she wants make up and in style clothes . I wont have the knowledge to help her and she will seek that information elsewhere. That is what i am afraid of. A loss of communication. Probably just a lot of worry over nothing.
what if you end up with a girly-boy? :-p
I find it very interesting that over time, and as age progresses, both sexes prefer boys less and girls more. Is that perhaps because the older generations are more likely to have children and are better able to assess after the fact than the younger 18-29 age group who has perhaps not yet had a child?
Allysa, you described how the social environment of a child while growing up could influence of a girl is a tomboy or girly girl.. it would be interesting to see if this pattern could be seen in 1941, or any other period for that matter.. could the 19-29 preference of male connected to american society and its gender roles? On tv, and movies, how are women and men of that age usually portrayed? What comes to my mind are pro-athletes, successful young CEOs, bimbos on Two and a half men, the halfnaked girls in background of commercials, music videos, etc. I am generalizing here, because we are all aware that this isn`t always true, but consider what the men of 19-29 usually watch.
I find it interesting that when someone posts about a boy liking football, fast cars, and being able to relate. And then turn around and comment about girls being emotional, needy, and not being able to connect as well. Other commenters are crying foul, sexism, and bigotry.
On the other hand, when people post that boys are dumb, only want to get in girls pants, self-abosrbed. And that girls are intelligent, sweet, and like to help others. No one cries foul there.
Girls can be good at sports and guys can be smarter then girls.
I will say that stereotypes do exist for a reason.. It's because generally there is evidence to back them up. I don't think this should lead us to taking opportunities away from either sex, but it's not a bad thing to inherently assume someone likes certain things based on gender.
I would prefer a boy, because I'm a guy. If I had a girl, I would love her with my whole heart. I naturally prefer a boy first though because it is more likely I'll be able to connect better based off understanding. I understand the problems boys deal with better then the problems girls deal with.
As a parent, it shouldn't matter the gender because you should love the child no matter the gender. But don't worry if you have a preference, thats natural.
and here i thought a lot of boys growing up these days are actually mamas boys!
Nicely said. As father of two boys and two girls, I can say I love them all. And, once you have kids, questions like this become virtually impossible to answer.
I just want to keep spitting them out. I don't care if they're boys or girls. I just love getting knocked up.
I can easily tell you why I prefer a boy to a girl....one easy word, endless meaning and pain... rape. I could never handle the pain of my little girl being raped. And, although I know boys have a problem with it, too, the number of girls being raped is far more than boys. It scares me to death to think about it. I would prefer a boy for this reason.
And any son you have will be much more likely than a girl to do the raping. Is that really less horrible?
This seems so shallow! My husband and I decided not to have children, but if we had I certainly wouldn't care whether we had a girl or boy, just that they were healthy.
No wonder, when we only get to make up something like 12% of the boards of major corporations, are the CEOs of only 4%, still make significantly less than men for the same job, cannot sue when we try to do catch up (Wal-Mart), are represented as dumb bimbos who can't wait to strip on every commercial and reality show on TV (in fairness, it's apparently the only way to make money), are only valued if we can magically stay "cute" and young looking forever (there's a reason the only female politicians who get attention are the Palins and Bachmans) without it being obvious we have had surgery (i.e., the Pelosis are made fun of). It's still okay for comedians to be horrifically misogynistic without anyone requiring them to apologize to women's groups. In this first world country we still do not have total control over our own bodies, and insurance companies don't always want to pay for birth control but are okay with paying for ED drugs. Gee, I can see why all in all, it makes sense to want to have a boy rather than a girl.
These are the exact reasons why I want a girl. So that I can raise a strong woman who can combat these injustices. We've taken a thousand small steps to improving the situation of women in this world. We have thousands more to take. And we need capable women to do it.
I wouldn't trade my three girls for boys. Ordering or preferring one sex or the other is the opitime of selfishness.
Many Middle Easterns, SE Asians and other cultures always prefer boys....
And your son's one penis can impregnant a hundred girls at one time as opposed to your daughter's reproductive organs which can only (likely) carry one pregnancy at a time. Is that really better? You don't have to worry about any penises if you teach your children to respect themselves enough to wait to have sex.
What's a penis?
Boys smarter than girls....??? Thats a load of BS.
The survey indicating that most people want boys as a newborn does not necessarily mean that people think less of girls... The fact is, 1) boys are cheaper then girls to raise, 2) less of a need to shelter them, etc.
That's ridiculous. Why would you need to spend more on girls or shelter them more? Sounds awfully sexist to me.
common alysaa, parents feel the need to shelter girls more because they know how vicious guys can be and they want to protect them... you've never heard cases of parents telling their daughter they need to be home by 12 and then not enforce a curfew on their son?? As far as spending less, girls naturally need more regular medical checkups, more beauty products, etc.
I agree. I grew up with an equal number of sisters and brothers, and had one of each myself. Girls are actually cheaper to raise. Their clothes are cheaper, their sports and other activities are cheaper, they eat less than boys (especially teenaged boys), they cost less in medical expenses–because they take fewer chances and get hurt less, they are generally more industrious in the classroom and therefore are more likely to NOT need tutors or summer school, and they are more likely to attract scholarship dollars. Boys are generally more reckless when they go out (girls usually go out less). Boys are harder to supervise, and are far more likely to get into trouble with illegal activities, drinking, traffic violations, etc. So, you are far more likely to get fines, court costs and lawyers fees with a Boy than you are with a girl.
Under normal circumstances, the only thing that cost more with a girl, is the Wedding.
i agree, girls are cheaper.... sure, you may be right about the small things eg.. but what about toys that boys like? where i grew up, teenage boys had snow machines, atv or motor bikes, computers and video games.. in my family and extended family, boys tend to cost the most because of this...
but things do change, i have now noticed a lot of younger females seem to take expensive trips for more frequently then guys.. but this is just my perspective.. bottom line is that if you can`t afford to have a child, male or female, you shouldn`t be having kids at all...
@eg, girls don't naturally need more medical checkups or beauty products. In fact boys are much more likely to need to visit the doctor because they're much more likely to hurt themselves. And you should be able to control what your daughter spends on hygiene products. As for the sheltering, perhaps it's not the restriction of girls to protect them that we need so much as the assigning responsibilities to boys who would look upon them as objects for their desires. You don't need to shelter your daughter from the world and more than you son, and indeed if you do she is handicapped by that. You do need to teach your son that a woman is his equal, and has of the rights and privileges that he does to control what happens to their body. I have no idea why you think it would be a good idea to allow your son to run the streets to all hours of the morning.
I see what you are trying to say. Boys required food. clothes , shaving kits and condoms. Girls required food, clothes, feminie products, make up, and birth control.. ( this is example not everything or the norm ).
The problem with you is that you see babies as sexual objects ONLY and not as productive, well rounded, Christian citizens that they could possibly grow up to be, if some of us would stop trying to put a "gay" label on them before they are out of the womb, let alone you who are trying to put condoms in the newborn boys hands and birth control and makeup in the newborn girls hand. I will continue to say this. Until people stop looking at children as sexual objects, then those people like you should be labelled as a sexual predator. I see children as future doctors, lawyers, scientists and teachers. I do not have the same view for them as this world displays through progressive promisciouty. I have HOPE and refuse to want their gender to be of my choice because I do not have the qualifications to carry out such a big task. Nor does anyone else. If you want to decide for a boy or girl, expect eventually for someone else to come along and tell you what you should have simply because THEY will think just as arrogantly as you. Let God continue to do what God does best!
I think the data was skewed from the very beginning. Look at the question: "If you could only have one child..."
To me, boys seem to be more well-adjusted to being an only child, where as girls are more social and would benefit more from siblings. I'm in the 18-29 age range, married, and contemplating children in the next couple of years. If I had participated in this study, I likely would've said I'd like to have a boy, simply because boys seem better suited to being only children, when in reality, I'm planning to have two children and would really like at least one (if not both) to be a girl.
Food for thought!
Eleven years is a pretty wide range.
Boys, if anything, require more socialization than girls, since they are less likely to naturally seek it out.
Alyssa, socialization is a relativistic issue... we are all performing socialization at any given time... what you seem to be refering to culture in the anthropological sense..no gender socializes more than another.. there does exist differences though, and because your a girl you don`t recognize the social aspect in males... for example when Columbus arrived in North America, he concluded that native americans did not have religion... he was wrong because he couldn`t recognize it due to cultural relativism..
Your post is not food for thought...it is food for pigs. Regardless of how young you are, you do not have to be stupid. If you feel that God made an error with you, then maybe you should practice birth control. That would be the best route for YOU deciding what gender to have. Consider yourself insane to even want to chose. You do not have the qualifications, nor does anyone else to select gender. Understand that your choice does not just affect your family, but the entire world. It is the mindset of HITLER to even want to participate in the gender selection of a child. How dare you say that boys are better than girls are better than boys. Who do YOU or anyone else think you are. Stop producing is what you need to do to add to this scientific effort. If you think that a mistake is being made in girls being born vs boys and vise versa, then that means that the mistake first started with YOU...so YOU should not be allowed to reproduce would be the final solution. A bunch of HITLERS – all of you sickos!
Please take your meds. See your shrink. Do some yoga. Something. Start a drug habit, if it'll help, but you're anger is a bit much....
I am female, and was an only child until I was 14, and I have to say that I did just fine as an only, and it seems bizarre that someone would think that one gender vs. the other is better at being a lonely only. I think kids of either gender who are only children do fine alone. And I think kids who have siblings tend to be more social, because it is what they were raised with.
Boys are horrible. i would abort if I were carrying one.
I wish Sarah would have.
I had a great time growing up doing things with my father; fishing, hunting, camping, playing baseball at the park, scouting, teaching me how to work on the house ect. These are the interests I have now and I would love to share these traits with a boy of my own some day. I would love my daughter just as much as a boy, but I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting a boy to share these experiences with. I know you will all say I can do these things with a girl, which is true but there are cetain things a father can do to bond with his son. I'll be lucky either way if I end up with a child or two regardless of the sex, but I just think it might be a little more fun with a son.
My dad taught me how to fish, and camp, but he also taught me how to bake bread and enjoy cooking. He taught me how to fix things, and how to troubleshoot, and how to build furniture, and latchhook rugs. My parents together taught me how to paint and remodel and my mother taught me how to sew and start campfires and bake really good cakes. It was a total shock to me when I got out into the world and discovered that most men "didn't cook" and most women didn't know how to fix things.
Parents do their kids a huge disservice when they limit the knowledge they share based on the child's gender. Teach your child what you have to teach. Don't obsess about the child's gender, just teach them about the world they live in and how to survive and thrive there. My mom likes sewing and quilting and stayed at home much of my childhood...but she was also a lawyer. My father went out to work every day and still does, but he was also the one who got called when I got sick at school while my mom was in law school. I was never told "not" to be girly, but no one ever stopped me from wearing jeans and sneakers either. Now I teach my daughter how to cook and install dishwashers and she's not that interested in sewing, except she does enjoy puppet-making. Some days she wears dresses and some days she wears men's shirts and jeans, and that's FINE with me.
You might think so...until you've actually had, and raised, a girl.
Eventually we are going to have get Sterilization to prevent over population. Our babies will be made in a lab and given to only the appropriate couples. We can't go on popping out babies. We will run out of resources.
And Boy we talk about India.
This article is so misleading. If you polled only women, you'd find the majority wants girls because I constantly hear women say "it's not fun to buy clothes for boys". According to them, you miss out on dance class, cheerleading, prom gowns, wedding dresses, sharing secrets, etc. One woman told me she wasn't going to find out the gender of her second pregnancy after her first son because it it were a boy, all she would think about was trying again for a girl (never mind this birth). Another said, "if I had two boys, I'd try for a girl, and if I had two girls, I'd stop". There you have it.
My husband and I are blessed with one of each: a boy and a girl. They are both terrific, beautiful, and strong willed in their own ways. My daughter is the tom boy who loves sports and camping while my son prefers to read about sports in the comfort of his air conditioned room.
There you have it. I too had one of each, and there are blessings with both. That's why I checked "it doesn't matter". People who have really strong preferences are missing out on so much. Be thankful for whatever you get.
Good point. But, don't forget, this survey didn't ask if you had a "strong preference." I'd call my preference VERY weak. Now that I have sons and daughters....
@Anne Marie: Soooooooooooo, the only drinking, drugging, angry, lying, insecure, mean, nasty, rude, low grade attaining, aggressive, car wrecking and generally disruptive children are boys. Hmmmm, I need to tell that to my neighbor. Her daughter is 17 and a delinquent of the 1st water...guess Mom didnt get the memo that her daughter is supposed to be sugar and spice and everything nice. And perhaps I need to walk sown the hall to my own daughters bedroom and tell her that since shes a girl she should be doing her homework cause she dosent want to be a like a stinky stupid boy who can only binge drink and get her pregnant.
I dont know what bitter experiences you had with your boyfriend, husband, uncles, nephews, sons, cousins or the guy who bags your groceries, but they are coloring your view of boys and men very badly. Let it go. That bitterness is only going to hurt you in the long run. #pleaseprayonit
Given the growing socioeconomic burden that human overpopulation will create, it's a blessing in disguise that males will increasingly outnumber females. We need fewer people in the world in order to sustainably use our planet's resources. Fewer child-bearing humans will mean less population growth which results in more resources to go around, less poverty, and a happier planet.
That is a happy little scenario, but it doesn't work in reality. When you don't have enough women in the population, but you have a lot of young men, it causes an imbalance that not only is detrimental to the continuity of the species, but it's also not good for the men, and can be dangerous for the women who are left. They are now finding that very problem in China where, because of their one child policy and the preference for boys, it's becoming increasingly clear that there is an imbalance in the ratio of marriageable men and women. There are not enough women.
Millions of men were killed in World War II, but oddly enough the ratio of men to women remained about 50 – 50. This could not have been an accident. Now that it's possible to actually affect that ratio because of medical technology, we should think long and hard about whether we want to prefer one gender over another.
Interestingly, in times of war more men will be born. Taking the poll in 1941 and in 2011 may somewhat bias result towards men for obvious reasons. If biology can somehow select more men during times of war then the psychology of the preference may also be biased towards men. There may be more to this question than simple sexism or male worship as the article implies.
Yeah, that's it...have stupid, meaningless polls that pit one group against the other...."I'm better than you"...stupid and pointless.
I would want a boy because my husband is the last living man in his family and a son could carry on his name.
i also think that raising boys are more expensive than girls because with girls you can shop at Macys, Target, Walmart, orJCPennys and they can wear no name brand clothes but a boy has to wear name brand clothes, Jordans, Nike, or DC's whatever his choice is. Guys can't shop at Walmart the way girls can.
I know I'm a girl and my money for school clothes went further because I was able to shop everywhere while my brother went to Macys or Zumies buying $30 t-shirts while I picked some up at Old Navy for $10.
The fact is most household decisions are made by women. Maybe this is one of factor men want boys to get more power
The question is very specific with, "Suppose you could have only one child." Males traditionally carry on the family name, thus most people are going to want a boy if they can only have one child. It's a silly tradition. I suspect that men prefer a boy to a girl, in the very narrow circumstances the poll question allows, because men think they'll have more fun with a boy rather than a girl. It probably has to do with the belief that girls cannot enjoy sports or the outdoors. It has more to do with how the fathers treat their children than the gender of the child. If I play catch instead of tea party with my daughter, she'll be just as good as a boy. If I play tea party instead of catch with my son, he'll "throw like a girl."
Either one is fine with me, even if I was limited to only one child. I'll mold them into a fine person regardless of their gender.
Really seriously? This world is soooo messed up! Think about it IF all we had were boys or girl instead of both then the world would stop creating humans and we would become an indangered species and become extinct without BOTH genders! It seems that when we just have what we are intended to have then the ratio of boys to girls is perfectly matched. Look at China? They are in the middle of this crisis right now for their own holicust on baby girls now they dont have enough girls for even half the men to marry in the future! leave well enough alone. Do all people always have to meddle in everything and swing every verdict, cant nature just do its thing?? Personally I would be happy with whatever gender I was blessed enough to have and I did vote doesnt matter. I have 2 boys and 1 girl and I love them all equally!
This survey and especially these responses just solidify my view that the majority of people are morons.
Before we found out we were having a girl I always said I wanted a boy because I didn't think I would know how to relate to a girl. Now 8 years later, I can't even imagine having boy. The joy any child brings their parents is a true blessing.
People's reasoning is too sinister for them to decide the gender of anyone. These people who want to make these decisions and the ones that allow it are the same type people as HITLER!!! Same mindset. They want to decide who they think is the "superior" gender or whom they want to be the superior gender. Should human capability allow them to chose skin tone, eye color or hair type, they still would not be satisfied particularly if all their selections created an "ugly" baby based on what they considered beautiful features and characteristics for someone. It is pure arrogance that this type of science is even considered, let alone practiced. Let God be the decider for our future children, as he so selected your gender, allow Him to continue. By not allowing God to be the gender selector, is saying that God made a mistake with you and with making others and that YOU think that you can do a better job than Him. Anyone that feels that way and want to make a more superior "people" based on their idiotic opinion, should simply consider that maybe the mistake began with them and they should just not reproduce! That would be the best solution to their problem with God-based gender control!
Huh... that table does show one interesting thing. It's weird that women 18- 49 would prefer boys over girls, and then after 49 they would prefer girls over boys. This is weird becuase before the ages of late 20's to mid 30's the men women are with would be more likely to produce boys; after those ages it is more likely to have girls. Wonder if there is an age correlation with the want of a specific gender; or some kind of biological adaptation?
also... on a side note women have a greater population currently than men in the US... eventually there may even be a demand for them (partially becuase they are becoming more and more useless in todays society from a biological standpoint). They aren't needed to retain food, not needed for protection, not really needed to mate with either; that can be done with artificail insemination and you only need at least one male for that. So population male starts to dwindle, maybe that's why people want more boys.
I had a father who wanted a boy and never let me forget it! I had boyish haircuts, boyish clothes, trucks for toys, etc etc. *And* it was always clear that I was incapable of doing certain things because I was not a boy! I was abused when I didn't "measure up".... Hope all these men *get* the boy they prefer rather than punish their girls for being born the wrong sex!
Girls are a pain in the a$$. They're complex. Boys are simpler.
So says my Mom: "I wanted two boys, and I had two boys."
So what you're saying is if you're dumb, raise boys. If you're smart, raise girls.
Not sure what the big deal is here. Unless there is widespread abortion of unborn females, nothing is going to change substantially. Just because you wish your unborn daughter was a boy doesn't mean you're necessarily going to kill it because you want the other sex, and wishing for a boy doesn't make it any more likely to happen (look at Henry VIII).
Thankfully in this country we don't, unfortunately in many third world ones they do.
I don't get why people are so up in arms. What's wrong with PREFERRING one versus the other? I really wanted only one child, and I had a strong preference for a girl, which is what I got. But if my daughter had turned out to be a boy, I'd have loved her just as much, nor would I have had another child to "try for a girl." So far, we aren't having problems with gender imbalances as are places like India and perhaps China. So, my thought is "so what if people have a preference?"
Our first we didn't care if we had a boy or a girl. We had a little doll. Our second my husband didn't care, but I couldn't have a third, so I wanted a boy, and that is what our little one was. I loved the difference between them, made for interesting times.
Alyssa... while you may take your daughters and sons to the woods, i can think of many examples of mothers who would not take their daughters and sons to the woods... you go and blame this on ONE parent and it happens to be the father.. why is that?
BOTH my parents really wanted a boy. I always felt like a constant disappointment to them despite being a good student, well behaved, and athletic. Their animosity towards me grew as I went through puberty due to THEIR sexual hangups. BTW, I am an only child.
I am now 26, never speak to my father, and only sporadically speak with my mother. I consider my own behavior to be rather gender neutral. I majored in Engineering and minored in math at University. I follow professional sports closer than most men, I am also sexually dominate and sexually aggressive. I have great friends and lovers of BOTH genders though most of my closest friends are male.
I think people who have a strong preference toward one gender or another are projecting their own insecurities and fears where children and teens don't need them. I was not a difficult adolescent but my adolescence was made a lot more difficult due to my parents hang-ups. My father remarried and got the step-son he always wanted. My step-brother ended up being a theatre major, moved to NYC, and is closeted to the entire family but for me.
As for fearing that a teen daughter will become pregnant, that is silly. If a girl isn't a moron and has goals and dreams in her life (like University, a career, etc) she isn't going to be reckless with her life. If you are a parent and undervalue her because she is female and don't talk to her about human sexuality she might end up that way.
could it be argued then, that there are two motives behind a preference? one can be purely and strictly a preference of one gender over another, while another motive can be the fear that your describing here... I can see the how what your saying makes sense, but, at the same time i don`t think everyone fits your description..
No girls for me! The last thing I want to deal with is the excessive screaming while they're young, not to mention the incessant talking. Why can't females shut up for once?
Take what you get, and accept the blessing you recieve. I didn't even ask the doctor the sex of my children when the ultrasounds were done. My wife and I agreed we didn't want to know until birth. We just prayed for a healthy child and were so grateful that each was born perfectly healthy. The thought of aborting any child because of gender is revolting and a real reason to ban abortion.
My preference is neither. For the life of me, I cannot figure out why anyone would want to have children.
I've always heard that boys were easier to raise than girls. When I became a father I wanted daughters. There was a sitcom on at the time about a high school coach who lived with his wife and all her daughters, and one son, the youngest. I wanted to live in a houseful of women. We have 2 sons that we wouldnt trade for anything.
I wanted a girl, and got a girl. But had she been a boy, I would have been just as much in love. I could never ever abort a child over gender, or for any reason.
Are we all really surprised that men "prefer" boys? It's a story as old as time and we really shouldn't be surprised. Everyone is entilted to have their preferences. What really scares me is that in this day and age you can actually choose the sex of your child. Instead of letting nature take it's course and having nature keep the world balanced we want to play God. Or worse yet some countries actually dispose of their baby girls or abort them purely for the fact that they are female. At this point it is not a preference you are now saying that men are more valued and important than females and that you will do anything to have a boy. Mother nature knows what it is doing when she makes more girls than boys. You need more girls to make the world balanced....in any species. I guess my point is it's cool to have a preference we all do but it's going too far when you play mother nature and choose your childs gender.
Once you consider the fact that having a healthy child is far and away the most important thing, the other question seems completely stupid in comparison.
I suspect the primary reason is people think male children will be about to support them when they are old. But fact is the girl children wind up caretakers far more often. So nothing is as it seems. My girl child has been far less trouble than my son in the long run. And she is our rally point for all family functions. So this bias is mostly ignorant.
I have 4 kids, 2 boys and twin girls, I don't treat them any differently and love them all. After 3 miscarriages, I didn't care what gender they were, as long as they were alive and healthy.
oh yeah, also, kids turn out largely depending on how they are raised, regardless of gender
My Brother-in-Law and wife are expecting their second baby: another girl. BIL was seriously depressed when he discovered the gender of his 1st daughter, and now they're having a 2nd girl and he's even MORE depressed. I complained to my husband (his brother) and he said "I understand how he feels"...when I asked him "WHY?" He couldn't explain it! He'd never even thought about it, except that he remembers how his mom ALWAYS sniffed at little girls, and said "Boys are 100x better...glad I've got 4!" and "girls are difficult, they get pregnant!" etc. Turns out his MOM is the root of the gender-preference. Really, you can do almost everything with a girl as you can with a boy as a parent - I worked on cars, camped/hiked, built model rockets, put on plays, rode horses, fenced, figure skated, and much more as a kid. Gender be darned!
They've tried this is China and it hasn't worked out so far.
Until women get treated equally, why not hope the best for your child and want it to be male? Men get more of everything without trying, and a woman has to struggle to just get her share. I often feel that I could have achieved more, got more recognition, and made more money if I had been a man. The consulation that a woman has in her daughter is a compatriot in same opposed class. I love both of my daughters.
WHAT AN OLD PATTERN THOUGHT/ WISH IN THIS MODERN ERA !
it annoys me to read and hear people say "I don't care either way, as long as its a healthy baby"...those people have no idea the knife that it drives into the hearts of parents who don't have a healthy baby. Or who don't get to take home a baby from the hospital becasue it didn't survive.
After having a special needs kiddo and losing two pregnancies, I'm pregnant with my third child. And yes, my preference is for a healthy baby. Because I've experienced the other side, and yes, at this point, I don't care what gender the baby is, I just want it to be healthy, because I don't think my heart can take another medically fragile infant or another loss. It's not out of callous disregard, but because I've *been* there.
I don't care really whether I will have baby girl or boy...... but today I received the news that I will have a baby BOY and I am so happy..... I will take him playing football and soccer, do triathlon, doing Muay Thai fighting, teach him jazz piano and Math/Science/Electronics/Programming ... the activities that I enjoyed as a kid
If I have a baby girl, i wouldnt less happy, I'd take her playing football and soccer, do triathlon, doing Muay Thai, teach her jazz piano and Math/Science/Electronics/Programming ... the activities that I enjoyed as a kid
Any child is a bless to a parent... boy and girl, they are an angel.... they are like the empty papers, you as a parents write on that paper.
If you are wanting one gender over another, do the world a favor and do not have kids. If your love is weighted by gender you are not fit to be a parent. Yes, it is that simple.
I agree!
I love women!
One experience versus another. It's all personal. Both sexes are unique both have their own set of problems.
I am so grateful that my only child was a daughter. She is my best friend,
ann marie.....you like fish sandwich...right?
Son is a son till he gets his wife. Daughter is a daughter for life. If any of you parents ever expect an ounce of compassion and caring from your children, then wish for daughters ( if your wish can be fulfilled or not, that is a different story)
Well maybe it's the same outcome, the preference for boys but they could be coming from two very different reasons. Maybe in 1941, when the society was more closed off, boys pass on the family name and going to more likely get a job and make money. Today most of the arguments revolve around which is easier to raise or just people upset at this result and are want to give having girls a little bit more of a preference. Either way, I'm thankful that in this country we don't kill newborn infants because they are girls like they do in China or India or the other 3rd world countries that do that sort of thing. Just be happy you've procreated, you've passed on your genes, for life (biologically speaking) that's the most important thing for any organism.
Anyone who has a gender preference when it comes to having children has no business producing them.
It should say MEN prefer boys. Your results show women have a slight preference for girls, it just isn't enough to balance out men's preference for boys.
See, when you just say that Americans prefer boys, it's not as immediately obvious that men are just sexist idiots whose opinions shouldn't matter.
It should say that 51% either want a girl or would be happy either way. There is no majority preference for boys.
with less girls worldwide, the girls will be so much in demand that people will then start wanting to have girls rather than boys – this will repeat then make a full circle and continue for ever...
I have a girl. My 16 year old girl is nothing but trouble. She is one of the popular hot big boobed girls. Then she comes home and farts up a storm. how dare she? I want a boy. We could be together and bond.
Are you joking? Your attitude is probably contributing to her actions. Reevaluate your own attitude first and how you treat women to see what you are reflecting onto your own daughter.
I have three girls and three sons, and I wouldn't change it. If I only had daughters I would be fine with that if I only had boys I would also be fine with that, however I have been blessed with both, and anyone that needs a certain gender to feel complete is an idiot. People your child is your child love it either way.
So Men are sexist for wanting to have a boy? Pretty funny how Misandry is so ingrained into society now, that we can't even express ourselves lest we are called out for being a pig who want to stick his tail in anything with a hole. Disgusting, and Pathetic.
I am in my mid twenties and I was hated by my father's side from birth. My mom was also hated because she gave birth to a girl. My grandma didn't touch me or help take care of me or raise me in any way. She also never gave me anything while growing up and clearly favored my brother over me. It is sad that it is 2011 and people are biased, sexist, racist and ignorant. I can only hope when I have a child, that I can be the best parent possible and will do my best to be so. It doesn't matter what you have- boy or girl- sometimes you will have a boy and it will become a girl or vice verse. You have no control and shouldn't have any control over that. Dedicate that energy/focus into becoming good parents and providing for them a loving household to grow up in. I've known girls that were total tomboys and boys that were so into the latest fashion and gossiping. It doesn't matter what is actually born people..it is what you help raise.
God intended the world to be filled with men and for us to have enough women to do our work. We need women to make our food and do our laundry. God made men in charge and now the homosexuals are coming to take over and they will try to overturn God with their devil worship. We need more strong straight kill off the rest of the gays. This world wornt last much longer if we we keep this up.
Don Schnieder.
Westboro Baptist.
all bs, msnbc also had this article also with a live poll that also debunked the articles poll numbers, just goes to show that pollls (especially one that pools only 1000 people in a nation of 30 million) have no merit
Marriages in America are much more likely to end in divorce if the couple has no sons. So, the poll unfortunately is probably very accurate. Gender preferences obviously don't disappear even after these fathers have girls. The fact that fathers are more likely to abandon families of daughters than families with sons shows that these preferences don't always go away. Girls are just as harmed by growing up without a father as boys are. So, girls need fathers but unfortunately fathers often don't want them. We really do need to get beyond these preferences because they do real harm.
Look at the numbers, there is only one demographic with a 4% margin of boy preference (possibly the margin of error). All the rest of the statistics that the article reference show no preference. The article is certainly not talking about the data from the study cited. Think, think, think. Anyway, this theoretical stuff is nonsense, parents are crazy about their kids, the gender of your child is irrelevant.
When I visit the retirement home, I notice all the visitors are female. I asked, "Where are the sons?" An elderly resident quoted this adage: "A son is a son until he takes a wife. A daughter is a daughter for the rest of your life."
control....the ultimate conflict! We humans try just about everything (coersive, maniuplative, subversive) to make others belive we have it. But we don't, won't, and can't ever control anything but ourselves (and even that gets harder with age or disabling events).
I'd rather have a girl. But if I and spouse were to have a baby, I'd love and cherish either and hope for a healthy baby!
Jobs, Money, Power. Status of women in society determines gender preferences. New York and California are more gender friendly to the average individual. Wealthy families may be less gender bias because money is not an issue. Wealthy families may have many children of both genders. Wealthy families may have their nannies raise their children. Then, they use Boarding schools in their teens, then Ivy League colleges. The high percentage of gender bias may display the number of families out of work.
Lilgtogirl: I cannot believe your degrading language towards the child. Remember it takes two. Even if it is artifical. I am going to be judgemental and judge. The language towards the child is that of a failed parent who did not break out of the cycle of failed parenting. I could go on but I rather not. I grew up in a society where mothers treated their daughters they way you wrote in your comments and it is horrible. Please break the cycle of degrading and start the cycle of first understanding and respecting. Thanks.
It's a difficult question – girl or boy? As a boy I was in trouble a lot and I'm certain that my parents thought that I was a pain in the a$$ more than I would have been if I had been a girl. But my sister also was problematic, yet she was clever enough to not be obvious that she was engaging in devious activities, and she had the advantage of being stereotyped as a girl and so was perceived as being less of a problem. If I were a parent though, I would vastly prefer to have a girl as a child in part because in other situations which I have observed (I worked with children a lot) girls generally are more relational with their parents than boys are.
As long as people equate girls with nothing more than shallow behavior, revealing clothing, gossip and promiscuity, then I guess we're never going to see a change in the preferred-gender rate. Looking at the comments below, it seems like there are still an awful lot of men, even fathers, even (shamefully) other WOMEN who think this about women. Never mind the fact that women are more likely to graduate college, more likely to acquire advanced degrees, make up half of our corporate culture and comprise 40% of breadwinners today. No, all that matters is that sometimes they gossip, have sex and show cleavage, and that is clearly the limit of a woman's character. How can we expect the numbers of this poll to have changed when our attitudes towards women are still stuck in the Dark Ages? Our whole society needs to grow up.
I LIKE LITTLE BOYS WAY MORE THAT LITTLE GIRLS!!! ESPECIALLY IN MY BED!
From those numbers it looks like American MEN tip the scale, not American WOMEN, who look about even on most things. Figures it would be the men who can't stand having daughters... thats typical in any society that disparages women as a second class citizen.
IIf you want boys you better be really well off when you're old and decrepid!
Studies after studies have shown that daughters are far more caring and involved with their parents well being in their later stages of life than sons. Sons will generally ship you off to come old folks home ... and those are the ones who have nice daughter in-laws. If you have a mean one forget about it! He will also turn your son against you LOL.
People who are well-off probably are less likely to have these kinds of preferences. I'm sure if men with college degrees only were surveyed, there would be less preference for boys over girls. It is lower income people who want sons the most. Yet, these are the very people who will not be able to afford to care for themselves in old age and who would benefit most from having daughters.
If i had a child it would deffently be a Girl because Girls are cute.
I like Girls over Boys anytime, and get them into Girls sports Girls are nice to have around the house, and Girls are fun too.
All I would want is a healthy baby.
I have a boy and hope my second child is also a boy. If we find out ahead of time it's going to be a girl, I think we will have an abortion.
You should have an abortion either way. You really shouldn't be raising children at all.
Your thing should be cut off and it should be illegal to breed with banjo pickers....
So for all of those who prefer your boys, when your daughter is caring for you on your death bed and your son is no where to be found, take the poll again and tell us who you prefer.
The key thing about this is that it says if you could have ONLY ONE CHILD, which would you like to have? I think that skews the results because some people will pick a boy to carry on the family name. If girls normally carried on the family name, I'll bet the results would be quite different. Me? I wouldn't give my only child daughter for the world.
John Lennon said it best: "woman is the n***** of the world". Women as a group have much integrity, dignity and self control; collectively, they are peaceful, virtuous humans for the most part. The only reason I'd want a male child instead of a female child is because of how crappy females are often treated in many cultures and societies and, in particular, by significant numbers of men (READ: I'M *NOT* SAYING MOST MEN). And, females are often devalued as they age out of adolescence in most cultures, including in the U.S. Many women are "relational" so their self-worth hinges to some degree on how men treat them. You don't see men crippling and deforming their feet in retarded shoes to make their legs look longer like young girls' legs look during puberty. You don't see them spending hours in front of the mirror worrying about their appearance or uncomfortably harnessing their body parts so they look younger, like many women do when they wear bras, for example. Men don't want daughters for good reasons that have nothing to do with females themselves. This ugly article should have focused on " WHY" by asking men from different societies but that would have made the article even uglier.
I was one of those who couldn't have cared less what the gender of my children ended up being. My wife wanted boys. We ended up with two girls and both of us couldn't be happier. My wife feels that God knew better than she did as to what sex our babies should be and is disappointed in herself for ever expressing that she wanted boys.
Why ian't "Healthy" one of the choices?
The poll was designed to create controversy, not accurately report people's desires.
I am a woman and believe that the world would be a better place withour women
You forgot to mention your recent s ex change and that you like getting plugged..
I have 2 teenage girls. I am 46 years old, and still get asked if I'm going to "try for a boy.." Seriously? We wanted 2 children and blessedly, they were healthy. My husband is a 'man's man." But those girls worship him...he also takes the time to try to understand them. He has had his fingernails painted over the years, dressed barbies, had clips in his hair, bought tampons when needed, and counselled them on teenage boys. He has been INVOLVED in their sports, gone on girl scout putings, and taken each of them on week long backpacking trips seperately so he can spend time with each of them. Even if he doesn't totally get it..he tries. My children are not 'mostly mine' because they're girls. I am the youngest of 4 daughters, and was blessed to have a father, now in his 70's, who was the same way. Treat your daughters with respect and dignity, and they will be respectful of themselves.
Girls are a big fat pain in the a ss, not to mention way high maintenance. But that's what I got and of course I would never trade her for anything...
As a pregnant women this is a topic near and dear to my heart. My husband and I both wanted a boy frist...not because we don't absolutely love the idea of having a daughter or because girls are somehow less valued; but because we have a niece we already love and spoil rotten and hoped to have a boy for our family. We are both younger siblings to older brothers and enjoy having a big brother. As a young 20's woman I never get bogged down feeling as though women are oppressed as I hold the highest degree in my family and am primary breadwinner most of the year. That being said I am a social worker and understand gender dynamics on a multitude of levels. I know that if we'd been blessed with a little girl we would be just as thrilled and she would be just as loved. But we are having a little boy and are very excited to be carring on my husband's last night; as he is the only one in a large family tovbe blessed with a son to carry the name. As ancient thinking as many of you may think it is...there should be no real shame in that tradition. People need to get off their soapboxes and if everyone realized that differing views doesn't mean bigotry! ! Every child is a blessing regardless of gender!!!
"... the preference for boys over girls is beginning to tilt the gender balance worldwide, a demographic shift that will have major consequences in the decades ahead."
Well, I suppose guys are going to get a whole lot more comfortable with homosexuality then, aren't they?
Good thing abortion can make wishes a reality!
Yep. Too bad it wasn't legalized my time.
Sign,
Your mother.
I would prefer a boy. As a woman I feel there is too much pressure to look a certain way, act a certain way, be a certain way. There is a certain level of freedom men get compared to women. I guess I could raise my daughter to overcome these things but there is still the whole protection and pregnancy issue. I say overall boys are easier to deal with and less to handle.
CNN gets it wrong it's 27/26 for girls for those with a preference and 46% don't care either way. Pretty lame to get your own poll wrong
Sure breed more boys... My family has 5 kids all but one are girls. Precious to my parents, he was too. Now he is in his 30s useless to boot. Am pay for his food and socks. Told me mom, to kick him out from the house I paid sweat and blood fer but she won't have none of it. Warned that useless sod, when me mom died.. he's out with the dogs on the street.
In Asia, female infants get killed only because they are females. Hope Americans won't do that.
This gender preference thing is altogether crazy in its foundation. Humans must live contently with either gender God has given. There should be no preference, no massacre, no perversion on this whole thing. Humans are evil therefore judgment awaits.
Boys are easier to raise,less expenses,no beauty products,no early pregnancy,not physically and emotionally vulnerable as girls.
Why africa families prefer boy child
Hmm i hope you don't get offended with this question, but how much does a website like yours earn?
Why are the Asians so over-hyped and overrated? Why do they think they are the best?
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