Editor's Note: Naomi Wolf is a political activist and social critic whose most recent book is Give Me Liberty: A Handbook for American Revolutionaries. For more by Wolf, check out Project Syndicate and visit it on Facebook and Twitter.
By Naomi Wolf
It is hard to ignore how many highly visible men in recent years (indeed, months) have behaved in sexually self-destructive ways. Some powerful men have long been sexually voracious; unlike today, though, they were far more discreet and generally used much better judgment in order to cover their tracks.
Of course, the heightened technological ability nowadays to expose private behavior is part of the reason for this change. But that is precisely the point: so many of the men caught up in sex-tinged scandals of late have exposed themselves – sometimes literally – through their own willing embrace of text messages, Twitter, and other indiscreet media.
What is driving this weirdly disinhibited decision-making? Could the widespread availability and consumption of pornography in recent years actually be rewiring the male brain, affecting men’s judgment about sex and causing them to have more difficulty controlling their impulses?
There is an increasing body of scientific evidence to support this idea. Six years ago, I wrote an essay called “The Porn Myth,” which pointed out that therapists and sexual counselors were anecdotally connecting the rise in pornography consumption among young men with an increase in impotence and premature ejaculation among the same population. These were healthy young men who had no organic or psychological pathology that would disrupt normal sexual function.
The hypothesis among the experts was that pornography was progressively desensitizing these men sexually. Indeed, hardcore pornography’s effectiveness in achieving rapid desensitization in subjects has led to its frequent use in training doctors and military teams to deal with very shocking or sensitive situations.
Given the desensitization effect on most male subjects, researchers found that they quickly required higher levels of stimulation to achieve the same level of arousal. The experts I interviewed at the time were speculating that porn use was desensitizing healthy young men to the erotic appeal of their own partners.
Since then, a great deal of data on the brain’s reward system has accumulated to explain this rewiring more concretely. We now know that porn delivers rewards to the male brain in the form of a short-term dopamine boost, which, for an hour or two afterwards, lifts men’s mood and makes them feel good in general. The neural circuitry is identical to that for other addictive triggers, such as gambling or cocaine.
The addictive potential is also identical: just as gamblers and cocaine users can become compulsive, needing to gamble or snort more and more to get the same dopamine boost, so can men consuming pornography become hooked. As with these other reward triggers, after the dopamine burst wears off, the consumer feels a letdown – irritable, anxious, and longing for the next fix. (There is some new evidence, uncovered by Jim Pfaus at Concordia University in Canada, that desensitization may be affecting women consumers of pornography as well.)
Read: No 'boys' or 'girls' at gender neutral preschool in Sweden.
This dopamine effect explains why pornography tends to become more and more extreme over time: ordinary sexual images eventually lose their power, leading consumers to need images that break other taboos in other kinds of ways, in order to feel as good. Moreover, some men (and women) have a “dopamine hole” – their brains’ reward systems are less efficient – making them more likely to become addicted to more extreme porn more easily.
As with any addiction, it is very difficult, for neurochemical reasons, for an addict to stop doing things – even very self-destructive things – that enable him to get that next hit of dopamine. Could this be why men who in the past could take time-delayed steps to conduct affairs behind closed doors now can’t resist the impulse to send a self-incriminating text message? If so, such men might not be demons or moral ciphers, but rather addicts who are no longer entirely in control of themselves.
This is not to say that they are not responsible for their behavior. But I would argue that it is a different kind of responsibility: the responsibility to understand the powerfully addictive potential of pornography use, and to seek counseling and medication if the addiction starts to affect one’s spouse, family, professional life, or judgment.
By now, there is an effective and detailed model for weaning porn-addicted men and restoring them to a more balanced mental state, one less at the mercy of their compulsions. Understanding how pornography affects the brain and wreaks havoc on male virility permits people to make better-informed choices – rather than engage in pointless self-loathing or reactive collective judgments – in a world that has become more and more addictively hardcore.
The views expressed in this article are solely those of Naomi Wolf. Copyright: Project Syndicate, 2011. You can read more by Naomi Wolf at Project Syndicate.
Porn isn't driving men crazy - watching too much of it and relying on it for ejaculation instead of being with a person is.
You're right, Troy, porn isn't driving men crazy. It's their women who get frustrated!
Digit Man!
How about "their partners"? Not all men are straight, you know.
Man must learn to possess integrity to find satisfaction in making the only woman in his life happy by being true to her alone and practice it as his second nature, and feel disgust about himself in breaking that standard in anyway. Man must realize this is the issue of the God-given honor as a man, nothing else. Men, don't bring down yourselves miserably with earthly garbage but look up to the sky. You were created for something much better than your own weakness and greed and filthy pleasures. Recover your manly honor by turning back to Jesus. Ask God for help.
Man, remember every girl was born to be loved and cherished by one honorable man for a lifetime, never to be exploited by you. Every girl deserves to be protected by one soldier's life. In the light of that, think about what evil you are doing by entertaining yourself with porn.
Oh Please! Its just sex, get over it already. If the guy is THAT interested in porn, it must be much better then the reality he is otherwise living. If porn is an improvement on a man's sex life, then he already had a dysfunctional relationship in the first place.
Wonder spring – if you are a woman then you have a real sense of entitlement and if not then you kind of come off like a flower child high on lsd. The most wonderful thing about love is how it is about two very flawed people who learn to love and support each other even though they fuss and fight too. It is not about perfection. It is about forgiveness and acceptance.
@wonderspring – hehehe, man you're funny!
"Man, remember every girl was born to be loved and cherished...", and porn allows them to be cherished by hundreds, thousands, even millions of men. And it is lucrative – another reason so many women choose this career.
As for the religious theory of "one man, one wife", you're ignoring a big part of the world were men have multiple wives, including here in the US (ever here of the Mormons (who are followers of Christ, btw). This is done for sexual gratification, and a side effect is large families.
Anyone going to talk about the exploitation of what should be a normal male sex drive (St.Pauli Girl anyone). Mothers abandoning nurturing children instead of... their jobs?
Our society has abandon boys and then complains that they are not good men. Good fathers are cut off at the knees in court and in the job market.
Tough luck men. Your expendable and worth no investment by mothers or fathers.
Let's see what is the percentage of men in prison anyway... Porn? a symptom and a money maker no one will do anything about because the root cause will inconvenience parents and stifle the free speech of marketers.
i'm all for the commodification of women and s3x. i lose interest in them as soon as i've released. a lot of the problems you've outlined have to do with men not having good enough options to control their own fertility short of condoms or pulling out. there should be no such thing as an unwanted pregnancy (from the man's point of view). the fact that there are so many abortions shows how lazy and stupid most women are. once men can control their own fertility better (i.e. not knock up some bimbo) and have plentiful and affordable (legal) access to the booty market, then a lot of problems/issues will resolve themselves. p0rn is a stop-gap solution at best, but it still does the job when i just need to nut and move on to worthier pursuits.
Society and parental figures may abandon us...but we are capable of change are are not doomed to let past deficits define us.
Burly Man – you got issues – and it's not good
That is a really good point. I'm a single dad of three (2 boys and a girl) and have noticed a definite second edge to the sword. I have the kids full-time...mom has not been in the pic for 4 years...when I hear my single mom friends talk about the guy that left them high and dry with their kids, it's "you poor dear...what did that [expletive deleted] do to you?". When I tell my story, it's a different response..."What did you do to that poor woman?". Sometimes anyway. I can't imagine what would have happened if my ex actually fought for the kids though.
Our society abandons boys then tells them they are not good men? Oh please. Men abandon women all the time, and women have to work and raise their kids. How does a working mother abandon only boys? You missiing all the little girls who are left in childcare? Let me tell you about staying home and being 100 percent dependent on a man, because I grew up and watched how well that worked for my mother, aunts, grandmothers and others who went that route. Life is hard, little boy, and your acting the fool isn't making it any easier for the generation coming after you. My mom stayed home when I was little, at great cost. I worked when my son was little, at great cost. Life has some big costs out there and the only thing we have to count on in the end is our own family. If you think porn is going to be there for you in the end... go for it. If you think porn is going to damage your relationships then drop it. If you think your needs are the only needs that should get met in a family of four... walk away and dedicate your life to playing with your wanker.
From reality tv, to chat roulette, Americans have one thing in common.
They can not, for all true adequate human explanation, mind their own business.
I come to visit this web site for news. That's it. I don't need to know all this "other" stuff. I'm not interested. Not because I'm a snob or I think it is nonsense, but because I have more important things to worry about THAN what other people choose to do in the privacy of their own lives. If someone chooses to be an exhibitionist, so what? I don't give a darn. Why should anyone else? It's like you don't have enough "real" issues to be worried about. Puh.
Burly Man,
I believe this is what you're talking about:
http://www.opposingviews.com/i/male-birth-control-indian-doctor-pioneers-reversible-vasectomy-shot
Burly Man is dead on! Exactly how I feel.
-(single straight male, 36)
The male sex drive is anything but normal.
burly man: PLEASE control your fertility. The last thing anybody wants is a sexist, misogynist pig like you to breed.
i'm guessing adam is actually eve
i dont think porn is right. but it is a serious threat to womens monopoly of sex. its not a threat to women yet. but theres no question porn in the last few years has erroded womens monopoly. there are alternatives now. nothing takes want to be clear nothing takes the place of being with a woman. But porn def cuts mightily into the desire , need , and want. of being with one.
oldboldgold... assuming the bitter emotional language you used in your post is a decent measure of your personal philosophy which dictates the course of your life; the concept of who you are is precisely the reason good, independent adult males are no longer choosing to take a wife and start a family. There is not a woman alive deserving of my devotion and care. There is not a woman alive who is worthy of receiving my share of life. There is not a woman alive who would define me and our relationship as equal to herself, her self-interests, and her amorphous emotions. I hope your son has not been brainwashed by your unhappiness nor that he suffers from you subtle and indirect misandry even while living under it. May his mind blink awake some day and shrug off all of your bitter doctrine, and may he realize that even in this shifting social paradigm he will retain power so long as he lets no woman hold him down.
I can relate,Ive had women complain about me wanting to wear a condom.Ive seen girls who wanted to get pregnant.My own father knocked up my mom after only knowing each other for a week.Most guys are too weak and cave in to girls like that.I dont want to raise a kid or have the possibility of someone hating me as much as i hate my own parents.
The fashion and entertainment industry is pornographic. Madonna, Lady Gaga, Rap etc. trashes women, demeans, men, degrades us all. Degeneracy is when people fail to recognize, to distinguish what is depraved. Our culture is a culture of pornography.
Easy answer to men's obsession with sex – men should just have sex with other men. Then, the women are free to sit together and talk about their feelings. That way, eveybody's happy. Drop the b*tch and make the switch... It's alot more satisfying...
Two problems with your advice:
One: women's bodies are more appealing than men's from a straight man's point of view. We look at p0rn precisely for that reason.
Two: gay men are far more bitchy and useless than even the girliest girly girls. Even gays can't stand each other.
Advice fail
Actually, Um No, try not to generalize about gay men. Some are bitchy, some aren't, etc. But gay s3x isn't exactly much of an option if you aren't turned on to men. There is nothing wrong with porn. Like anything, you can overdose on it – it won't replace copulation, but it could enhance it.
Nothing wrong with M@sterbuation, unless you want to get all high and mighty about it.
Oh yuk, the last thing I want to see is a hairy man approaching me with his stiff.
One big problem with your advice:
Obvious troll is obvious.
True. Men are programmed to be "turned on" by a butt, and in the most basic sense, another man's butt is visually close enough.
I agree! Now that I'm okay with my husband enjoying porn when I'm not in the mood we have a much healthier sex life...he hardly looks at it now
. When he does watch porn he doesn't feel bad and therefore is no longer self loathing.
Are you sure your husband's eyes are fixed on your face while you are doing it or is he not taking you for one of the porn girl that he just watched on his screen?...
Gobena, a person can look you in the eye and imagine someone else. You can't reasonably control what goes on in another person's brain without using complex brainwashing and control techniques, so get over it. Your partner isn't always going to be thinking of you, even with eyes wide open looking you in the face. This is normal, it is recognized as psychologically healthy, and it is only an issue for you if you are pathologically insecure.
My wife is the same, Imustbeabadgirl and I love her more for it! There's nothing wrong with porn as long as you're open with your partner and don't let it run your life. I watch it several times a week and have a very successful marriage.
Careful, ladies. Like the article said, the addict starts to need a higher high in order to be satisfied. So be on the alert for your husband to start wanting kinkier things from you in bed.
Pelican, who said that's a bad thing
Porn is not driving men crazy.. what's driving men crazy is the fact that their wife/partner stopped giving them what they gave them in the first six months – to a year. The point is... the best sex they ever had simply stopped. Poof.. gone.
The only outlet from there on in is what porn offers... a fantasy world where the man get's to remember what he had in his relationship for the first six months to a year. Thank God for porn.
I disagree; all women don't "stop giving it up" during the first year or two of marriage. My hubby and I have been happily married for nearly 8 years and still play in the bedroom often (at least 4 times per week) and switch things up fairly often. However, he still goes back to his porn periodically, which is becoming more and more ridiculous in content. Recently he has been having trouble performing in the bedroom, and I do think it correlates with the porn because we are not old enough to be having these issues.
maybe you're getting fat?
*slow clap for david*
So the man's relationship depended on anal sex that was painful to his wife and gag porn that dehumanized his partner?
Couldn't be more spot on. My wife doesn't like it that I look at porn, but after our son was born we went three years before we had sex again. I'm still waiting for the time after that.
My sexual drive is directly related to whether or not my wife is keeping herself in shape or not. About a year ago I stopped having sex with her for about 6 months (on and off still but not almost everday anymore). She finally stopped being lazy and dropped that extra 40 pounds she slowly packed on and wa la daily sex again w/ spice. We fought like cats and dogs (she said I should love her no matter what she looks like, which I do, but desire goes out the window) but in the end she is horn ier than me and I properly motivated her. Sorry girls, but we men like you to stay hot. I stay hot for her. It isn't like I actually enjoy lifting weights and running everday. I do it to stay manly and desirable. We have been married 20 years. You can't let yourself go girls. It is not our fault that y'all will fk a fat out of shape man. I will go without sex before stickin' it in something unattractive to me.
Spot on Brotha! Without porn it would have been a lot harder to stay loyal to my ex-wife when we were going 6 months to a year without sex! We're truly simple creatures. "Release" a couple times a week and some mutual respect (especially in public) and I bet more marriages would be for life!
I think women ought to watch the freakiest stuff and take pointers. What exactly is wrong with adult films again? I think the morality police are crazy.
Expecting your partner to be ok with you treating her like a sex doll is crazy.
I think you failed to read the article. It's a brain chemistry issue. If you subject yourself to large amounts of video sex, it creates a desensitizing effect. If you subject yourself to large amounts of video or real violence, you become desensitized. It generates a need for more consumption. At that point, you are no longer in control.
Slut: noun. Someone who likes sex more than you do.
Prude: noun. Someone who likes sex less than you do.
Here's the sad thing: A lot of heavy porn users from age twenty on can't have successful sex due to delayed ejaculation or erectile dysfunction. And yet, when they stop using and give their brains a rest from overstimulation for a month or two, their erectile health returns, their confidence improves, their perception of women shifts such that they find everyday women much more attractive, their concentration improves, and so forth. Fascinating video: "Your Brain On Porn"
Too many fat chicks in this country. And the latina population is rubbing off on the white girls. White girls, STAY skinny or you'll have to make due with a minority man cause us white boys (most of us) like 'em skinny, girly, lady like, a lady on the street and a freak in the bed.
FYI- a necessity of being a good freak is being hot too. Fat freaks need not apply. My neighbor Clarence Washington will hit it though. He is a nice guy and loves fat chicks of all colors. Mind you, he has no job and fks everything that moves, but he will give you the attention you need (when he is there and not bonin' some other fatty).
Well i am not agree with u it is a social problem.one should have to be care full with words.if their will be no porn pics and videos then their will be less sexual frustration as well.why i said when should be care full with words because u should use the word person u should use the word legal person mean wife only we need to improve moral values and our society.
if u all think then sex should not be attached with moral values then i will like to say their should not be any value it should be allow to have sex every where or with every one then should not be age limits their should not be any limit to watch films as well then sex should be in our life like we eat 3 times in a day.
You need to learn some grammar and punctuation.
Bull Troy. Just as women have been liberated with their toys, men have been liberated with porn. Some men have learned to grow a pair and not be whipped.
TO JAY:-
*standing ovation*
*round of applause*
*cheering very loudly*
funny how the FEMALE writer makes no mention of women's sexual iberation via sex toys. sext toys are a MULIT BILLION dollar industry that caters to WOMEN.
peace out.
Right on !!!
@ Jay couldn't agree more
As my last comment i'm going to say to you get a life, obviously women wouldnt need toys or anything if a man was a man and took that women with love, and love her to the end of his extent as she should do to him. The truth is porn is bad, it only holds you back from making a meaningful relationship with someone not just physically but mentally it stunts you in your growth as a human being in becoming more mature, mature meaning knowledged not getting older. Men and women have not been liberated with anything, just obsticles have thrown in our way so that we are distracted from having a full meaningful life where you only reap benefits and not spoils.
Bahahahahahaha !!!!
So true
I would argue that men of the past were not more discreet about their sexual escapades but that the media did not publish the salacious stories they do now. I think the financial success of news shows with an entertainment emphasis has more to do with the exposure of people's sex lives than any increase in sexual behavior.
I don't see pornography or sexting as a desensitizing force as much as a safe, disease free way to express ourselves. People are, and have always been, sexual beings. We are just finding a new outlet in cyberspace to do it.
I agree with nicalina in that many of the things that are done in pornagraphy have been around for a very long time. I saw a documentary that showed porn in the 1920s and they did the same things that are done today. The only difference is they did not have the technology to market it like they do today.
troy your right but if women would looosen up a bit there would be no porn
Absolutely not. I can only condone sex between one man and one woman with the lights out in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation.
yes yes and yes it does; its an addiction and they turn against their ugly bettys they are married to; these women in the porn business in noway attractive until the makeup and lights go on and just like the super models every flaw vanishes; and then the acting begins; and well i dont know about most women but i laugh when i say one;o h awe baby give it to me harder aughhhhhh gross gross gross but men and then they think their wives and girlfriends are going to do the same for them no way its acting its not natural but men dont understand they think all women are like this; now they slave traffic women because of this i believe; so my advice make it illegal just like prostition its filth and it has no place in the real world make them use their own imaginations; and to women and men of porn shame on you may your daughters be raped because after all its beautiful and sensueal right; these people used to be called pigs and for a good reason
@wendy5: You make it sound like a few moans and leaving the lights on is a bad thing and risque. What do you do when you make love? You just lay there and do nothing? No wonder you have problems. Porn may not be the answer for you, but I can guarantee that you need a change of atmosphere in your sexx life. Start off by doing it other places of the house, then try and get kinkier from there. If you give it a chance, sexx if fun and healthy!
Wrong! You haven't met my wife. Loud, super hor ny 24/7 and a squirter to boot. She is like a wildcat on acid and TNT. Your lovers are lacking in skills or your a prude who can't let herself go with the moment. Sometimes I have to hold my hand over her mouth, she is so loud. She likes that anyway.
Marry a stripper or ex stripper fellas. They don't have the issues normal chicks do. They do have issues though. Don't let them run out of weed or stop replacing their expensive high heels. Oh, and you will have to share a woman with her everynow and then. They get to missing s e x with other girls after being married to a guy for awhile. They are high maintenance but worth every penny. You know the old saying guys, 'you get what you pay for'.
go to hell bi+ch
okay wendy5 you're just a jackass i just read your little thing and you have no fucking clue. You think something that bad is deserved over this, no. I do understand why you're so upset though. For everyone out there who has a problem with this, therefore you know its affecting your life and you dont like it. Just go be social, go do something with people, some event or something where you can just be a nice person, do so and have fun. Please
LOL that's like "guns don't kill people, people kill people with guns."
Less MOTO, more thinking.
That's a perfectly good argument for people against gun control. A gun is a tool that is perfectly safe when handled properly, and in the right hands. It is extremely useful in the right situations. In addition, taking away lethal force from the people ends their ability to resist government corruption. (Just saying this since apparently no one taught you why owning guns was important.)
@Troy.....thank you for pointing that out. I personally deal with this issue all the time. Our sex life has never been the greatest but after spending so many years being single and having alot of fun, I felt it was time to settle down. We connected on so many different levels that I accepted his claims that he was too tired, or that he didn't have a very high sex drive. After a few years of being turned down/neglected over and over I discovered his addiction to porn. So even though it hurt me to be turned down all the time, I was trying to be patient and understanding only to discover he was just a selfish, self centered man taking care of his own needs and leaving me feeling unloved, unwanted and undesirable. He made a promise to me that he would stop and make more of an effort to pay more attention to me and things would change. That was a year ago, nothing has changed. Our sex life has become almost non-existent. I do not and never have blamed myself for this as I have never had this problem and have always been open to try many different forms of sexual activity. My only mistake was to settle for someone who claimed he didn't need an active sex life with me to be happy in our relationship. And for those of you who are about to bombard me with insults....no I am not fat, lazy, or ugly. And yes, I have tried all those lame little outfits. I am hit on, complimented and asked out all the time, so it is not me that is the problem. He is the problem. And he is the one who will eventually lose out. When the man I am with finds more pleasure in a air brushed picture, it is time for me to move on. However, I will not leave. I will cheat on him as this is what his behaviour and neglect has provoked me to do.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Whatever you do you cant cheat or be dishonest even of the mist of them doing it to you, no matter what you just have to be honest and lay your cards on the table because that what marriage is about be completely open with someone, and if they have lost heart then there is nothing more to do but tell them how you feel and either they start their journey of change or you leave and they never deserved you
I heard a lot of "I'm willing to try new things." I hope that includes the gym because frankly fantasy scenarios and extended foreplay aren't very appealing to men, but throw in a body in shape and it'll be night and day difference.
@troy Agreed
about the only guy that has a clue is troy and others with the same ideology. That asshole who's talking about god has his head up his and maybe gods ass too. Its not wrong unless you tell yourself or let yourself believe that. Of course to much of it is bad, as is with anything. Bottom line learn willpower and control and you will live a generally good life in that sense
porn = proof of repressed nature.... porn only shows what has been hidden to men all along, the simple fact that women are happy to perform all types of sex acts contrary to their behavior in public, and popular belief constructed thru the media and laws made by puritan outdated views about sex. Behind closed doors and willing to be on film women will do just about anything sexually. The only trick left for men to find out is the method in which to get all of them to express their desires openly in public all the time thereby removing the mystery about what they will and wont do, and removing the need of men to watch porn at all.
No Troy it isn't....it relax me when i'm stressed and need to unwhine you know what i'm talikng about.
Sorry Troy....I'd rather watch porn or enjoy that doll thing their really advanced now a days.
Women are pissed about Hooters and so many Naked women in movies that they don't care to have a relationship when the guy they married, who said they would only be with them at the the ceremony, frequents these places and brings these movies home or even turns them on HBO. Get rid of the naked women all over the planet and you will see a big change in the married man's woman giving them more loving so they won't need to do this.
I almost went blind because of P@rn why because i kept using my fist
I watch P@RN everyday of the week can t get enough
I love the internet .
The internet is P@rn Galore
Is it possible that men in power are pursuing beautiful women because they didnt have that option when they were not in power? I think part of the problem might be that a man isnt used to have such a large number of women throw themselves at him so he makes terrible decisions. Think of a 18 year old that suddenly inherits a ton of money or a college freshman out on his own on a party campus. It just seems like porn doesnt have anything to do with this conversation at all.
Pluuuuease...
Why is it so evil for men to have a healthy sex life, imaginary or not. Now we have to be "restored" to a more healthy (according to who?) state of mind.
Legalize prostitution so we have greater access to real partners, see what happens to the porn numbers then.
Sex is natural, this article is crap.
@Mobius007
Mormons (more appropriately referred to as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) do not practice nor believe in polygamy. Get your facts straight. Members follow the counsel of Church leadership who "solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children."
I have gone through the same thing.
I have try all product in market, but none solve my PE problem.
untill I read this website that really change my life and performance in bed..
http://www.ejaculationbymaster.com/
Im so happy now.
Here we go again with whole porn addiction nonsense.
Please tell someone who has kicked a REAL addiction like heroin, tobacco or alchohol and they will laugh at you, as they should.
If you are going to report in a responsible publication at least get the terminology right
Porn is a compulsive behavior not an addiction.
And eating causes dopamine release as well....this is psuedo science wrapped in a politically correct BS wrapper.
Mike South
A Gun Totin, Libertarian Pornographer
Buddy, you aint got shiit on me!
I'm going to pretend I don't know who Peter North is... otherwise, the lady who wrote the article is going to think I'm an oversexed male due to watching too much pornography.
I agree
Peter, from one swordsman to another – let's tap that sh it!
You boys ain't got snot on me. I'm the devil and I love to turn it out.
Shame on all of you for not at least giving an honorable mention to...... MANDINGO!
Sorry i was in a .... meeting.... what'd I miss?
Konnichi wa! I love all!
Came here for this. Leaving satisfied.
You'd almost be right if all these activities didn't all use the same reward calculation circuitry in the brain. It exists for two reasons: to make sure we eat and to make sure we reproduce. Drugs directly chemically hijack the circuitry, but that doesn't mean you can't be addicted to food or sex.
As for a link between porn addiction and sexting, that's nonsense and conjecture until there is direct evidence for it.
Indeed you are correct. Just like drugs don't cause crime. I think you have missed the point. The compulsion is acted on by a weakened control system that is responding to a demand for dopamine in order to feel. The thrill is required, not desired.
I am not sure that the connection is meaningless because it is speculative. It is categorical distinction. Sure its correlative insofar as they are lumping together multiple technologies, but at the same time it is causal in that the technologies emerged around the same time.
No evidence? I think you are in denial. The "Porn Age", is certainly responsible for the increase in this behavior.
You couldn't be more wrong. It is not psuedo-science. It is real research based facts. Porn is addictive. Different people are differently effected, just as with alcohol and any other type of addictive thing. You can lie to yourself and others, but it won't change the fact that you're wrong about it.
shut up. only in the sense that ANYTHING that releases dopamine can be "addictive". tom owns you, feminist h0e.
Sigh... how is anyone going to take you seriously, haremettle, if you can't even spelled "affected" correctly?
Notice the anger exhibited by those who are guilty of a porn addiction; much like the anger demonstrated by addicts of steroids!
Fact is, the body is capable of producing more than enough chemicals to alter a person's perceptions and feelings. Take child birth for example. A woman's body can produce on it's own all the pain killer she'll ever need. Such chemicals can become addicting.
Point is, there's no requirement that addiction can only be based upon outside influences to our bodies. Porn, just like sex, generates a chemical reaction that typically results in pleasure. If you can honestly say that pleasure is not addicting, you're an idiot. Feel free to disagree all you want, or call me a "feminist h0e", but it's not going to change the fact your an idiot and I'm right!
"if you can't even spelled"?! Damn! And who's going to take YOU, seriously?
Sigh, anything can be addicting. Food can be addicting. Unless you are in that fraction of a percent who must always view porn, even when you don't want to, then you can watch porn with no ill consequences except for a sticky keyboard.
Matt, seriously, when was the last time you ever gave birth? Are you telling me that it's a pain-free experience? Wow, bag that and sell it. You'll make millions.
So what Todd is basically saying is that the Average American Male is = overweight (addiction to food) and has delayed ejaculation (porn lover, less physical sensitivity).
You shouldn't conflate political interests with scientific fact. As a person who has had an opiate addiction and is currently battling with an addiction to porn, I can say that porn is definitely an authentic addiction. Having started with internet porn at a pretty young age and contacting women over the internet in high school, I acquired negative habits that consistently effect my quality of life. With heroin, at least when I had money I could continue to go to class and have relationships; even at my worst when I was using any number of hard drugs, I was able to retain a relatively decent life. Now, when I consider myself in a good place, I often find myself ruining a long term relationship for essentially abstract sexual situations. The problems with libertarians is that you use two concepts, individuality and freedom, as axiomatic law. As if in each case there is a discernible freedom, which would be a non-neurological conscious choice, or individuality–again in the sense that I as an individual affect my behavior rather than impulse. Obviously my freedom, as in the Kantian sense of autonomous free will, is a reflective and formal freedom. Only after realizing my actions and realizing that the force of impulse and desire must be revised through substantive changes in behavior could I begin the process of treating my problem. Again in reference of Kant, I think it is important to consider his point about what defines autonomy and free will. For him any act without a consciousness of the formal choice and the meaning of that choice was an unfree one. Obviously within American law you have a freedom to produce pornography, however that doesn't have the same sense as individual freedom. Rather, for your production of pornography to be free, it has to be done so while understanding that porn has real negative consequence. When you acknowledge this now apodictic reality, then you can say, but the truth is porn has these values that I wish to reproduce. But to simply say, 'this is bunk and I have my rights' is absolutely unfree and unreflective.
... porn has a real negative consequence ...
And what about positive consequences? My wife and I have much more fun since we started watching porn together.
Porn CAN have negative consequences, as it can have positive consequences.
And yes, people CAN be addicted to porn. That doesn't mean that all men that enjoy porn (even those that release dopamine while doing it – DUH) are addicted. Most just like it.
More Victorian nonsense, because, under the slinging of scientific terms, it all comes back to Victorian idiocy that denied biology and the drive to procreate.
Go look up Kellogg's history. Go look up Post's history. The movement to make food tasteless and remove procreative drive.
You trying to sexualize Snap, Crackle, and Pop?
Too bad the scientific evidence doesn't back you up. Porn is absolutely an addiction, and there are many who have been addicted to strong drugs like heroin AND porn, who have said that porn is actually a harder habit to kick.
People seem to be missing the point of this story. The bodies response to the activity releases hormones that underlie this addiction (just like gambling, shopping, etc.). When you have to do more, in order to get high or stay normal, it is an addiction (not an obsession or habit or compulsion).
For those who would like to blame women for not have enough sex with their man....sex addiction has nothing to do with your woman not performing, it has to do with novel sex in order to get high. (just like your woman has nothing to do with your substance abuse).
Some women are okay with their men doing porn and some women are not...and both are okay and right for them. Don't like it that you are with a woman who hates your porn, time to find a new woman...stop beating her up for having an opinion and belief about what she wants in life.
I agree. It's not physically addictive, which those substances are.
I think anything not physiologically addictive is a misuse of the word addictive.
I think heroine might be on a different level than alcohol.......
The problem with your theory is that people actually need food to survive, while porn or casual sex is a pleasurable desire and that is why it is classified as an addiction. People do not need porn, but it gets to a point where people watch so much that they the brain actually NEEDS to watch more and more porn that goes against taboos in order to climax...
The main problem with this article is it mixes neuroscience, where terms like "addiction" and "reward" have specific meanings, with more popular conceptions of these same terms. She talks about addiction in neuroscience terms, but does not give a single example of addictive behavior in neuroscience terms. Addiction is very bad in neuroscience, but not necessarily in popular usage. Here is the most cringe-worthy part of the article for my background in neuroscience:
"some men (and women) have a “dopamine hole” – their brains’ reward systems are less efficient – making them more likely to become addicted to more extreme porn more easily"
Three major problems with this statement. One, that "dopamine hole" as she calls it is also likely to make them stop viewing porn. If their desire is reward-based, it is probably more likely to make them stop viewing porn. Second, she is not describing addiction. She is describing reward. Third, the reward system is not less efficient. The reward system's response to pornography is less efficient. Actually, after editing the preceding paragraph, I saw a fourth major problem... Oh, well. You get the idea. This statement is hooey to the reader who knows what the writer is writing about.
How it should be written:
[people]'s dopamine reward circuit becomes less sensitive to pornography, which may make them seek more extreme porn to get the same reward. If this begins to disrupt their daily life and they continue with more extreme porn anyway, they are addicted.
Of course, writing it correctly probably sounds less scary. If they can stop it when it becomes most disruptive, they are not addicted (in neuroscience terms).
Well said, Mike. I miss your posts on ADT.
It would be nice if Ms. Wolf cited even one "study" that supports her contention. But the fact is, ever since Judith Reisman decided several years ago–also with no legitimate research to back it up–that porn created "eroto-toxins" in the brain, non-scientists like Wolf have repeated this canard, though often using different language like Wolf's "short-term dopamine burst". The simple fact is, when people do pleasurable acts, it stimulates endorphins in the brain–but those acts can be anything from enjoying a good meal to praying to having sex to gambling to watching porn.
Beyond pleasurable acts, however, there IS such a thing as obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), in which sufferers compulsive do things like wash their hands hundreds of times a day, compulsively step on cracks in the sidewalk or, yes, pray, simply because their disorder compels them to do it. But the compulsions and obsessions have absolutely nothing to do with the OBJECT of the compulsion; they're symptoms of a mental disorder that can be treated with drugs, but simply attempting to treat it by removing the object of the obsession/compulsion is worse than useless; the disorder continues and the sufferer finds a new object/act to fix on.
Further, this alleged porn-caused "dopamine effect" has nothing to do with the equally bogus concept that "ordinary sexual images eventually lose their power," causing porn to "become more and more extreme over time." The vast majority of porn is incredibly "vanilla": Just two (or sometimes three) people having intercourse in a variety of positions, sometimes as part of a story, but more often just to have sex. The vast majority of today's hardcore porn, unlike some movies of the '70s and '80s, features ONLY consensual sex acts, contains no rape of other physical abuse, no sex with animals, and those movies with a bondage/domination theme (which generally have NO hardcore sex) also make it clear that those acts are consensual.
What a shame that Ms. Wolf has chosen to accept non-peer-reviewed and generally anecdotal "research" about this important aspect of society, while failing to consult REAL experts on the subject like Dr. Milton Diamond, Dr. Daniel Linz or Dr. Marty Klein - and what a shame that CNN would publish such "junk science."
OK, then. How do YOU explain the dramatic rise in men intentionally destroying their lives with a text message?
>>"How do YOU explain the dramatic rise in men intentionally destroying their lives with a text message"
It can be explained by the dramatic rise in text message use in general. Men have been "destroying their lives" by doing stupid things based upon sexual compulsions for thousands of years. Text messages is just the new medium.
Samson to Delilah, 'Where the fk is my hair btch!?'
Delilah to Samson, 'I know you have been rock texting that syrian btch down the street. Keep it in your pants and I won't cut it off you head'.
Long-winded you are, but an expert in the field of addictions you are not.
Oh yeah, because Naomi Wolf is an expert on the sexuality of men. Stick to the feminist issues please........wait....keeping men from being happy IS a feminist issue.
More Victorian nonsense. The "study" was based upon anecdotal data, which means no scientific data and some hype about CNS pleasure feedback.
Next week, an article on modern phrenology.
Well that makes sense, seeing it as an element of OCD. My old boyfriend confided that watching porn is taking up more and more of his time. He's up to 4-5 hours a night, and he's not happy about it. It does seem to be addictive. He is the sweetest guy in the world, and I hate to see him so worried and unhappy. He is seeing a shrink, so I hope it helps his sense of guilt and anxiety. I swear, people were happier before the Internet. Now we're online all our lives, even when we're supposed to be sleeping or interacting with each other. It's becoming a very isolating thing and a lonely occupation, despite all the "social networking."
Is porn driving women crazy?... because you know there's probably more women in porn than there are men.
I could be completely wrong, but personally, I think the disparity between a man's sex drive and a woman's is part of the problem. Not a point of blame - simple biology.
I've yet to meet a woman who was willing to be an aggressor in bed, which leads me to two possibilities: 1) I'm meeting the wrong women or 2) I'm not the kind of man women want to be with (aggressively or otherwise).
The fact is that if I knew I simply am not attractive to women, I could live with that, but after years and years of being with someone and not getting a clue? That's just plain wrong.
Sounds like you're not good in bed because you are too in your head to enjoy what's actually happening and it turns off the women you are with off. Maybe your expectations are off. Many women have equal or higher sex drives. Try to relax about the whole thing and not overthink it you might get a better response.
I think women's aggression varies, and I think it's complicated. The most sexually aggressive woman I've met turned out to literally be a sociopath, so be careful what you wish for. But other than that, yeah, I think it varies a lot by how in love with you they are and how comfortable they are with themselves. I think some women just want to be desired and pursued, which is understandable.
Or maybe you suck at communicating your desires. I meet and go to bed with plenty of aggressive women. It doesn't happen by making assumptions about what men and women "should" do and be.
Liberals have better sex.
Statistics?
Maybe the writer is just pissed she's not getting the meat missle from her man.
YESSS!
Nobody likes yo. Not even your family. You will die alone.
Yo yo: All die alone.
Could not finish this...need more porn not reading
I can see how porn gives men an unrealistic expectation of a girl. Then again television does it. The fact is, we are swarmed with models everyday and this hurts your relationship with your gf/spouse, etc because you always define beauty based on unrealistic photos. Even the models rarely look as good as they do in their pics or shows.
Can't wait to see Naomi Wolf's next article where she says women rely too much on romance; so much so that it is distorting their view of what is expected in relationships and what their definition of what love is. Oh wait....she'd never write *that* article.
Excellent point
Whats the point of owning a Ken Doll if you don't decide what it wears, where it sits, who it sits with, and where it drives Barbie?
Well we can say that, but let us not forget that we changed when pornography came about and statistics have said men struggle. Women were this way before pictures and porno movies came about.
I want cheese on my porn.
Umm... there's no change. Men have always been this way. We will basically take any opportunity to interact with a woman in a sexual context (to put it politely), and some people are dumber about it lately with the availability of technology. It's a separate issue from any effect pornography might have on a person's sex life. Anecdotal evidence combined with knowledge of the dopamine reward system is not sufficient to demonstrate a link between pornography and sexting. You would have to conclusively demonstrate that men who view pornography are statistically more likely to engage in this kind of behavior, and then somehow prove that it's not simply the case that perverts like to view more pornography.
I wouldn't say that totally because men use to wander off on ships and be at seas for years without seeing women. Also it was popular in the Middle Ages to be celibate as a monk and go off and live off in the desert. Especially in the days of Byzantine Rome. Men use to be more adventurous. I think men got crushed when we no longer could be adventurous and fight wars, etc. and now we only find pleasure in women, beer, and video games.
True, good point.
Maybe the problem isn't that porn is setting unrealistic sexual expectations so much as the problem is that Americans aren't having sex often enough, and even when they do have sex, they're not being creative and uninhibited enough. The United States strikes me as a horribly sexually repressed society; that's probably one of the major reasons we tend to be so angry and violent all the time.
Seriously? The U.S. is a sexually repressed society?
Considering the probability that we most likely evolved to have group sex at some point in our ancient history... sure we are definitely repressed.
Look back in history at other cultures...
Seriously Rob. All you have to do is look at US TV ads vs European ads to see that America is quite uptight about the 'naughty' bits. Heck, just google 'italian tv show hostess' and you'll see my point; nothing like this would fly on US TV except adult cable TV.
Yes, America is horribly sexually repressed. As others have already pointed out, compare the American comfort level when it comes to sex/nudity/etc. and the prevalent attitudes/moralizing involved in this country to what you'll see from most of the rest of the world, and you'll find people in this country on average have some pretty significant hang-ups. It's the unfortunate end result of being a nation founded by the descendants of Puritans.
I know the obvious argument is "look how much sex is portrayed in the media," but there's a flaw with that argument–even when sex is portrayed in American media, it's usually not portrayed in a positive light. In America, sex is still often "dirty" or "sinful." It's something "naughty" that you "get away with" rather than a wonderful, life-affirming biological function. Women who enjoy sex are "sluts," and men who enjoy depictions of sex apparently have psychological issues if articles like this are to be believed. So even if our media throws sex at us all the time, it's a devalued form of sex that comes with attendant hang-ups, something we're supposed to know is wrong and feel guilty for enjoying, something that's only okay so long as it's being used to sell us something.
If you want to get a feel for how off-base our values are when it comes to sexuality in twenty-first century America, compare our attitudes with regards to depictions of sex in media to our attitudes about depictions of violence in media. It seems to me that we live in a culture where violence is glorified, and sex is at best tolerated.
Have you ever been to the US? I'm kinda doubting...
Have you ever been in the bible belt?
Hear hear. Good point. Magic happens if you learn to express your desires.
Pornography doesn't make men crazy; being married does.
I'd asterisk that with *being in a bad marriage
I am divorced. The happiest couples I know (of those still married) include wives who enjoys porn with their husbands.
Nuff' said.
Ahhh, so there was a jealous component in your levity below! Levity on my part.
Since there are so few wives like I have described, I am assuming you are on of my friends. How's it going 'Joe'.
Sorry, I hate to refute your humor with facts, but nearly every study that has ever been done has shown that married men are happier and healthier than single men. Unfortunately, the studies have also shown that the opposite is true of married women.
"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics." - Mark Twain
The studies you mentioned might imply a correlation between marriage and happiness, but they don't prove that marriage *causes* happiness. Maybe happy men are simply more likely to get married than unhappy men.
I have read those studies, too. I believe it. I think men just grouse to set women up for the fall. Never met a man yet who could have s*x as often as I can. Not as often as ANY woman. I have wondered over the years if a lot of oafish behavior by men isn't just designed to turn the wife off, since he can't keep up and sure doesn't want to admit it.
oldmoldgold, you are an obvious and uncreative troll. please go back to your filthy sofa, your feral cats and your pint of ben and jerry's ice cream and romance novels
Lets just say there was no porn. If the sensitization theory is true wouldn't we also sensitize to the sex alone? Become bored of the "short dopamine bursts" and move on to harder stuff (anal)?
You would still get a short dopamine burst from anal. Unfortunately, you might also get a burst of something much less pleasant.
What drives me crazy are people who try to tell other people what to do in their personal lives in the United States of America.
somewhere there is a third world that needs a dictator
I think many are missing Naomi's main point of discussion, namely, has the availability of porn on the internet made men more brazen in their sexual exploits?
you don't need to watch porn. just go to the store. the way woman dress and play the sexy card is a primary contributor to mens crazyness
No. It has nothing to do with porn. Powerful men have always indulged in womanizing. Pharoahs had 100's of wives, Charles II kept a wife and two mistresses in his court. It was considered normal and reporting on it was considered vulgar and petty.
Our standards for fidelity have changed and information is more available.
Jesus can break addiction from porn... in the blood of jesus
1/10 troll
Rule 34
Loser
Jesus' Dad created porn.
Excuse me, but premature ejaculation and impotence are at opposite ends of the spectrum. That is like say eating too much causes anorexia and obesity!
not true. the psychology of the individual can lead to either, or even both
While I admit anything is possible, it seems strange to generalize both ends of the spectrum....at least without hard data to back it up. It is almost as though the author is trying to blame all ills on porn. Personally, I don't believe it. Yes, overdoing anything is bad, but how much of society (meaning men) really do this? This seems a bit far-fetched, and without more data, I am very suspicious of the conclusions drawn.
Obsession with FOOD can cause anexoria or obesity. Obsession with PORN can cause premature ejaculation or impotence.
Why don't the Women's groups team up with the religious groups to fight the spread and ubiquitousness of pornography? If they did this, this could really have an impact and help relationships flourish both physically and emotionally around the country.
Or they could relax and have sex with their boyfriends/husbands so that there's no need or desire for pornography. Just sayin'...
The human body is offensive, and when people use it for what its intended for its even more offensive.
I doubt many of the men indulging in porn are doing so because they aren't getting sex. You missed the point of the article. Don't try to blame mens' porno addictions on women, my friend.
no, the way females dress is cardinal factor
"sexual counselors were anecdotally connecting the rise in pornography consumption among young men with an increase in impotence and premature ejaculation among the same population."
Impotence AND premature ejaculation... BOTH caused by the rise in porn consumption? Really?
Do you want to explain how your theory squares that supposedly telling observation?
No study to quote, but I do know if a man uses porn too much, he get's comfortable with the routine in front of the computer/tv and less uncomfortable with a real person...he feels more vulnerable interacting, hence the impotence.
Then again...if you are a man who uses porn for a maintenance wank or just happens to masturbate often, then you can also have the opposite problem, ....you're so used to getting off quickly via TV/internet, that you pop off in 5 minutes and don't know how to restrain yourself with a partner.
No research, but from the men I've known, either two problem can come from an overuse of porn, I say this as someone who likes to watch porn on occasion with with BF. Porn is fine, using it too much can be a problem.
Porn is an outlet for our imagination and fantasies. We view it and pretend..."What if I were in the scene with him/her?" It can be intensely erotic, either with or without a partner, but, most of us can separate between viewing something on a screen and active participation. At least I haven't figured out yet how to dive into my computer screen a la Poltergeist.
If pleasure is addictive, then, yes, I guess I am guilty. I think there are 1000 worse things I could be addicted to than watching other human beings making love. My wife and I enjoy the quick arousal watching porn can bring, but we certainly don't view it every time we make love.
Yes, I have noticed that about your wife.
Your first comment seemed thoughtful. Why the odd grade school attempt at humor the second time?
Levity.
I <B PA
LL: I achieved levitation!
image_fap_dot_com and xhamster_dot_com
more free p0rn than you can shake a s(d)ick at!
who needs a crazy gf? happy fapping
Porn.....is.......AWESOME!
Same BS as "Chemical Imbalance." Never proven and cannot be tested for.
So many men in denial. They're hooked on porn, it's affecting their lives a lot more than they know. One day they wake up and it's often too late to get the people they love back. I know a lot of guys whose lives got wrecked by porn. It's not OCD. It's a slavery that has gotten stronger and stronger.
You can deny it, but it screws up your brain (pun intended). It absolutely desensitizes. Can't believe people are self-deceived enough to deny it. Like any drug, it takes more and more to get you high.
The author is right on target. No need to quote sources and studies. Just open your eyes.
LOL. That was great.
Lmao... That was a joke right.
What the heck? I thought Christ died on the cross.
Just because you say it's true, doesn't mean it actually is.
How can you say something like "No need to quote sources and studies. Just open your eyes" and expect anybody to take you seriously? You are openly admitting you have no testable evidence to demonstrate the truth of your as sertion.
Why should I or anybody else believe you?
the feminazis are losing control of the game and are not happy about it
This seems more like a Persuasive piece than a presentation on research; more worthy of Fox's view-pushing "news". And "dopamine effect"? I'm a Neurobiology graduate student and can say with some authority that "dopamine effect", deceptively described as a type of phenomenon, is not a real thing (dopamine is a neurotransmitter utilized by neurons in specific types of cellular communication and the subsequent cellular cascade manifests macroscopically in varying ways). This article stinks. Push your views elsewhere, lady-who-is-likely-a-superiority-seeking-feminist.
(dopamine is a neurotransmitter utilized by neurons in specific types of cellular communication and the subsequent cellular cascade manifests macroscopically in varying ways)
You took the words right out of my mouth.
Is this why I can't put down my cellular phone?
Patrick, let's review her "evidence", anecdotal reports, pseudo-science and Victorian hype about the evils of the procreative drive.
Next week: phrenology, what it means for your future.
The following week: Eugenics, a new hope for the future.
This woman needs to get a clue. There's nothing wrong with men, or porn. Women just need to accept that they have lost some of their sexual powers over men to porn. HA HA!
Excellent!
I don't even know why this is relevant, the whole article reads like another female sharing observations her and her girlfriends made while standing around the water cooler at the office......another perceived "problem" that is strictly a male affliction that her and her self-righteous opinions represent the sentiments of all women around the world. How can it even be taken seriously? I would remind Mrs. Wolf and like minded people who think like her that history is filled with plenty of examples of female "sex-pots" i.e. wife to Roman Emperor Claudius, Empress Valeria Messalina who had a all night sex contest with a prostitute. Mrs. Wolf nor anyone who even is remotely interested in the sex scandals of powerful men seem to ever pause long enough to consider that perhaps the reason why it seems like "so many" find themselves mired in shameful situations is more due to the fact of precious few women are in public life.....instead of inventing new social diseases to fool people into believing there is something to worry about right under our noses and in our homes and even going so far as to give the impression that every male with internet access is a potential target why not fix the existing ones that have kept are still keep women from public offices? Be an activist about something real and stop worrying about how often the males around you are jerking it and what they watch while they do it.
Personally I think pornography has kept more men sane then have been driven crazy! The urge to "spread our seed" is ridiculously strong in men ... its such a powerful urge at times it does borderline on insanity (this is a point we can try to explain until we are blue in the face and women will never be able to understand). Without the outlet of porn (or access to a willing partner), no doubt weak men would turn to uncivilized means to satisfy their instinctive cravings ... porn is the "In case of emergency break glass" option for many men. You think PMS makes you crazy ladies ... try running around with a backup of "baby batter on the brain!"
So is this why so many men cover up for rapists?
Wow. You really didn't need to go there.
Is there some secret fantasy of yours we should all know about?
Don't get me wrong I love men, but they are crazy. Porn has nothing to do with it. Their thinking process is off. When they older they get crazier and crabbier too.
...and you can speak authoritatively about ALL men right...because of the inifinite experience you have with the few men in you life?
yup, many of you are batsheet. Take the comment above mine: "The urge to "spread our seed" is ridiculously strong in men ... its such a powerful urge at times it does borderline on insanity" really??? women don't know? what do you think women go through when they are ovulating?
Don't generalize men. Not everyone is the same.
The thinking process??? Like the one that has the woman crying in front of the mirror because she "Doesn;t have anything to wear!!!" or "I wore those shoes last week!!!" Keep trying...
then get out of those mini-skirts
As a man who has been addicted to porn, I have to say that it definitely is bad for a person psychologically. I started to obsess about female bodies and "normal" bodies of normal women were simply not good enough anymore. It is addictive because it becomes an emotional crutch – everytime I was bored or emotionally stressed, I would turn to porn to ease the pain. The problem is, in the long run it creates unrealistic expectations of women and deep feelings of unease. I started feeling like an animal who just lived for his next hump, his next fix. My psychology and spirituality improved a lot since I put a website blocker on my PC!
Liar!
My spirit improved upon watching some porn...I realized that somewhere out there in America is a group of women that are actually attractive!
word
Thanks for your honesty.
Chuck you know the deal, ive had a similar experience as well.
I like the mixed messages this article sends. Since when is "covering their tracks" viewed as being "better judgement"? Is one type of lie better than another? The only thing this article does is fill up space.....like porn.
Yes! I noticed this gaff by Naomi too.
This article is porn for women.
I think porn is as addictive to men as worthless fashion trends are addictive to women.
Epiphany. The internet has merely brought to the surface – for all to see – that which has for eons been out of public view.
Nuff' said, and a plausible answer to Naomi's query.
Another pious woman patting the heads of poor men everywhere saying "They just can;t help themselves that they are stupid beats." nice try. Remember, when you point your finger at someone, there are three more pointing right back at you. Think about it.
Yes, I know that it is. My ex-fiance was amazing. He was such a great guy, an ex-army ranger, a good student in college, a LDS from birth, but he had a porn addiction that would crop up every once in a while. He had a collection of DVD's that he sold in the summer of 1999 and then in 2002 I glimpsed him coming home to his apartment alone with a paper lunch sack with some porn in it. I can remember how he was holding it almost like it was something important, the way that he was gripping that brown paper lunch bag. I was not welcome there and he told me to leave. I had no where to go and I think that he let me begrudgingly in to his apartment and I had the pleasure (not) of getting to watch some porn with him and it was aweful. They showed this blond lady with her legs spread and I could see her clit pulsing with her orgasm. Yuck. It was so gross. I still have not been able to get that image out of my mind after all of these years.
So, I guess your body is gross to you when you make love?
just his right hand...
That was a great movie!
you must be a real tigress in bed...or maybe not...limp rag doll, more like it?
If you despised the sight of a hot female orgasm...I would also tell you to leave.
must...get...the PRECIOUS...
I'm a little more disturbed by his addiction to the church of latter day saints from birth. Seemed like that little brown lunch bag held his only glimmer of sanity.
I agree with the article but its WAY out of range with being a serious problem. Drug addiction, eating disorders, and alcohol to me rank up there as in many cases life threatening diseases. Under those is psychological addictions and response to abuse, love addiction, gambling, etc. Then under those near the bottom is pornography. There are people addicted to cheating on their spouses, dominatrix, swinging, and a whole host of worse illnesses related to sex. Looking at pictures and movies can definitely be an addiction and negatively affect peoples lives, but its more so based things like clinical depression, relationship problems, etc. Its not life threatening and heck, if a woman is with a man who likes looking at things, she can either participate or move on. The tenant of any relationship is you cant change your partner.....accept or move on. I agree that American society is not open enough....not enough safe outlets for sex, for exploration, for multiple partners, for non-marital relationships. We need to start to understand that marriage and monogamy is mostly a rare event in our culture and declining. Its also a fantasy most women need and have. Its not reality and its not what most men want. Its just a contract for sharing property and a security blanket for women, if you ask me. I do agree porn is probably too often used as a crutch for working on having sex with a partner....love or one night stand, its not a moral decision. Its about men and women deciding their life is enriched by a real relationship with sex with one person you love and trust. But we need to start accepting that love and marriage isnt a goal.....just as pornography isnt a goal for most men.....its the end result of inability to get what you need in society. And men are programmed to seek sex.
You're implying we were sane to start with.
Porn is but a symptom... Frigid wives and girlfriends are the cause.. PUT OUT A LITTLE MORE, wimmin.. you'll see the need for porn drop right off.. simple fix.
Ding ding ding...we have a winner...
Excellent!
For most women, s3x is a means to an end...marriage, house in the burbs, 2.5 kids, financial / emotional security, social legitimacy. Their p u ss y is the worm-bait on the hook (your libido)...once they get what they want, the candy store is closed for business. Marriage is for suc kers.
U R DEAD WRONG
"Er, Negative Ghostrider, the pattern is full."
No. Its not driving the men crazy, just their wives who can't stop thinking about what their husbands are doing.
Get a girlfriend, get married, don't waste your life on digital porn.
Get married to have sex? I think it's the other way around.
When couple gets married her sex drive goes down with each day. So why does man have to explain and defend his porn habit?
I like lamp.
False. Men are going crazy due to the increasing stupidity and nonsensical bullshit women have gained over the decades, and they then turn to porn for release, instead of having to deal with lunatic women and their silly games. Men go to porn to escape women in real life, because a porn star always knows when to simply shut the $@#$ up and take it.
Trouble is women want it all ways...they want you to be their poodle most of the time, but they also want to be dominated in the bedroom (like the p0rn star). Often the compromise is that they marry the nerdy banker (poodle / sugar daddy) and then have an affair in secret or openly (cuckold husband) with hung men of color.
Hey, any free porn is Good Porn
Ok, there were about three incidents in the US (although porn is a pretty global phenomenon) that led Wolf to infer that men in general have problems to control their sexuality due to porn... what a shaky base for such a strong thesis. There is a Southpark episode making fun of the "sex addiction"-disease that affects rich and powerful men. If "political activists and social critics" would watch more South Park, we might have to read less of these articles.
Let's look back in history. The epic conflict between Cicero and P. Clodius Pulcher dated back to the Bona Dea scandal. Cicero attacked the latter after he was caught trying to reach the chamber of his lover while there was an assembly of Rome's elite in her mansion. You see the common theme: a rich and powerful politician ruined his career because he could not control his desire and went (too) public pursuing his next sexual "fix". To Wolf and the Puritans; this was before "Hustler" and youporn.com ruined the American civilization. And yeah, do not blame for anecdotical evidence as the whole problem detection is based on nothing else.
But I did not get the desensitization thing. Does the military make its soldiers watch movies with women licking each others' genitals in order to enhance their capability to kill people and pick up the remains of their colleagues who had stepped on a APM? Or did some clever military administrators make up this explanation after a controlling agency asked them to justify the purchase of "MILFs Getting Wild Vol. II" with public funds?
Could you please rephrase with the Reader's Digest version of your comment. Nuff' said.
This actually rings a chord for me. I have a high sex drive and do look at porn way too much. Yes it has become more extreme recently. All totally conceptual and legal but still weird. I do not need it to get aroused or get off. I do enjoy normal sex in a relationship and don't have desire for it when I am having sex in a relationship but do think more so and more so I am most attracted to the shock value.
For instance I find attractive women farting alluring. No idea why, again a forbidden fruit of the first variety. Even "donated" to women to help me. It's different in person lol but I still crave it. But I have had that "fetish/paraphilia" since I was very young before puberty before the internet so go figure.
I think there are a lot of truths in this article.
Wayyyyyyyyyyy to much info. Nuff' said.
Thank you for being honest. Before internet porn came along, I used to think that some of the "perverted" fantasies I had were solely my own. God, how could anyone like golden showers, plate jobs, prostate massages, self-sucking, etc. I must be the weirdest person on earth. Wrong! Today, I can find *any* type of deviate sex I can Imagine, and some I could have never imagined. Entire sites devoted to just one particular "act", and hundreds of people chatting about it! Men will never admit that they have any deviant sexual desires, but the prevalence of these sites doesn't support their arguments.
Ok, there were about three incidents in the US (although porn is a pretty global phenomenon) that led Wolf to infer that men in general have problems to control their sexuality due to porn... what a shaky base for such a strong thesis. There is a Southpark episode making fun of the "sex addiction"-disease that affects rich and powerful men. If "political activists and social critics" would watch more South Park, we might have to read less of these articles. In particular, Scott/Parker target the myth that this would be a recent phenomenon. Let's take a look back in history. The epic conflict between Cicero and P. Clodius Pulcher dated back to the Bona Dea scandal. Cicero attacked the latter after he was caught trying to reach the chamber of his lover while there was an assembly of Rome's elite in her mansion. You see the common theme: a rich and powerful politician ruined his career because he could not control his desire and went (too) public pursuing his next sexual "fix". To Wolf and the Puritans; this was before "Hustler" and youporn.com ruined the American civilization. And yeah, do not blame for anecdotical evidence as the whole problem detection is based on nothing else.
But I did not get the desensitization thing. Does the military make its soldiers watch movies with women licking each others' genitals in order to enhance their capability to kill people and pick up the remains of their colleagues who had stepped on a APM? Or did some clever military administrators make up this explanation after a controlling agency asked them to justify the purchase of "MILFs Getting Wild Vol. II" with public funds?
Being a woman, I can't give any expert opinions on why men behave this way. But it seems to me that it's just a terrible lack of self esteem.
No woman would write a comment that short.
msaprilr, i presume you're referring to the female p0rn models' self-esteem issues, not the men with real jobs / lives who watch p0rn to blow a load and move on the other more important things in life?
Really? Because from where I'm sitting, it looks like women who worry about men and porn and other women lack self-esteem. They take it personally when a man chooses another woman, digital or otherwise, as if it has something to do with them. My having a relationship with a mistress has nothing to do with the love I feel for my wife. It has to do with the love I feel for life, and my desire to enjoy as much of it as I can before I die. No woman can ever compare to the feeling of exploration and discovery. That's not a woman's fault. That's evolution. We hunt, we learn, we consume, we grow.
Women are being trained to be ashamed of their sexually, while at the same time exploiting it for and indoctrinated need for attention... yet denying themselves healthy sexual exploration and enjoyment.... Oh and of course writing about it while still somehow managing to blame men....
wanna hook up?
Right on sister! We're all in this together. Let's throw shame and guilt out the window and rediscover real, true, open, Love.
Naomi Wolf, I am sorry but you just won the Grinch of Mens Sexuality Award 2011.
You really don't get it, and I feel sorry for you, you just made every man in the world limp, do you know anything about testosterone at all? Men have needs, women (and men) often can't perform as much as a man(or woman) wants and sometimes it's the opposite (sometimes just performing bad overall and not trying at all to improve).
But many men out there will enjoy porn either via the internet or via a dvd, when it becomes a 4 hour a day habit and never includes you... well that would be some kind of sexual addiction.
With the millions of men out there and the thousands of people in important positions, there is obviously going to be a few guys out there with differing tastes or issues, but please don't wrap us all in that jacket!
If anything, porn helps men whom may otherwise sleep around from doing just that, a very safe and clean way of releasing some stress without the hassle of being called a "cheater" or catching STD's etc for those that are even single and for some couples, it's something fun to watch (foreplay) and maybe learning a new move or to, of course many guys want to find new ways to please their partner and this is just one forum to do that.
What planet do you come from?
)
P.S. I know you mean well, but I find your article a little discriminatory towards men, I know your smart, but have you been hurt lately?
Agreed. I don't think this is something women can ever really understand, and therefore shouldn't be claiming to know so much about it. It's like a man writing about how child birth isn't really as bad as women say. Lol. I don't understand men's need for porn, but I'm not a dude, therefore who am I to judge...
I get angry when my computer mysteriously gets a virus after someone watches porn on it... Kinda like a virtual-std.
I laughed, I cried, I realized Naomi Wolf is spouting BS and pretty much clueless on the subject.
I danced like no one was watching me. Then I beat off to p0rn
Women also watch porn, there should also be an opinion page on that also.
This article has alot of truth to it. Namely that Porn is addicting. Ive never smoked crack, or ciggaretes, or done heroine or anything like that. But when I read about the affects those drugs have on people, it reminds me clearly of my past addiction to Porn. From needing a fix, to withdrawls, its all there.
Simplistic. Food is addictive. Sleep is addictive. One must understand the difference between healthy addictions and unhealthy addictions. Most importantly, my father chooses to indulge in his addiction to eat food and get fat. That's his business not mine. People should mind their own business.
It's hard for a man not to find interest in porn when the average American female is overweight and ill-tempered.
I bet you're fat and lazy.
Clearly the biggest problem in sexual relations is that men have too many chances to say no. You're an idiot.
Porn is a good thing for men. Since most men are tired of women, their antics, and having to play the guessing game when it comes to having sex, Porn gives you what you want, when you want. it cuts to the very heart of the animalistic psyche. That's why women are upset.
In fact, do you want to know why prostitution is illegal? It's not because of "the kids". It's because women hate that men would have "a choice".
Show me a woman who voraciously opposes prostitution, and I'll show you a woman who is upset she would have to "step up her game" to keep the attention of a man.
Porn is the essence of a men's animalistic DNA. No game playing, no women flirting with you, and then "changing her mind", no rabid feminism. Uncut, unfiltered, human sexuality. After all, that is how the human race continues.
How many guys do you know who have an empty prostate commit crimes? Have you seen the crime rates of places that have legal prostitution and/or drug laws? I rest my case.
The same goes for wives who don't have sex anymore getting upset with husbands who watch porn. It is downright selfish. If you are a wife who does not have sex anymore, you should be thanking your lucky stars that he is not cheating. He deserves release.
Remember, if you are a woman who thinks that the world should just "come to her" and do not do anything to please your man, you are replaceable. Don't you ever forget that. Get it right, or move on.
I like how you place the blame entirely on women and not that fact that both husband and wife work full time- often different shift, raise kids, take care of their parents and tons of other things. Nah,... that couldn't be it- has to be the women..
Yes, men need to remember that there is an endless supply of single females here and overseas...no need to deal with any BS whatsoever. In Russia the female to male ratio is 10/1...they chase the men and men over there do whatever the hell they want. It's supply and demand. American women have been brainwashed by Oprah and her ilk into a sense of entitlement. Wrong! You are a cheap commodity, easily replaced, both in real terms and virtual (i.e. p0rn).
A wife not pleasuring her husband should be prosecuted for spousal abuse and divorced for breach of contract. Then the newly-liberated bachelor should go on a bender with plenty of coke and h00 kers!
Prostitutes have sex for money. You realize this? What's your wife get for putting out? Maybe she'd be more willing if you'd just shower before bed or if you'd be more loveable in the afternoons. Maybe your temper makes her wish she'd never met you sometimes. Maybe she resents you for always putting your needs first. Does she have orgasms with you without self-stimulating? Maybe she's hoping you are one of those men who dies from sudden cardiac death, and she can't wait to have a life of her own again. She probably watches lesbian porn when she's alone just because she wonders whether it's better over on the other side.
No, it basically a power drive, not porn. It really is not suprising that someone with this trait would be an incredible golfer, public figure, etc.
The reason it is so common in news today is two fold. 1) It is easier to catch someone today because of our digital lives. 2) The news agencies sensationalize it. Was Anthony Weiner's promiscuity really worthy of hours upon hours of news coverage? Nope. It really was a private problem between him and his wife.
All you need to know about this article can be summed up in the first two lines: a feminist trying to diagnose male sexuality. All men should feel as comfortable with that as a woman should feel going to ask the owner of a strip club or the local brakes and mufflers garage what is wrong with women's libidos.....
Apparently porn drives WOMEN crazy. Because all I see in these comments is women complaining about consensual sex acts recorded on film.
Exactly. Women don't like it because they're not getting 100% of a man's soul. At the same time, they don't want you telling them what to do with their bodies, or what to eat, or when to diet, or what to wear. They try to attack men and shame them for their desires. I think men should be proud of their desires. What you do alone is your own business.
Yes, of course this had to be written by a women. Because if anyone really understands men, it's women. If find this kind of sexist perspective on the male libido to be pretty offensive. This just feels like another attempt to further emasculate men. Men, if you enjoy porn, that's your business. If you want a women telling you what you should do with your eyes, mind or body, go back and live with your mother.
When guys are dialing into porn so much that they can't perform...it's a problem.
Maybe it's not the porn that's creating the problem. Maybe it's the life they're living that's not fulfilling them. Maybe it's that they drink too much. Maybe they are frustrated with the world's suffering. Porn is an easy target because people usually lack the intellect to investigate further than what they think is the only obvious possibility.
I don't know about the business of needing more and more hardcore stuff to get off......oh wait...yes, midget, smoking, hirsute amputees, I'm almost there ..... YES!!!
balloon p0rn - you haven't lived until you've seen a hot, nak3d girl blowing up balloons with the tension building up more and more!
I find it ironic that the person who wrote this article has a name that spells in reverse "Imoan"
Wow!
Dyslexia has its benefits
Pornagraphy drives me crazy, but for totally different reasons than it does for Ms. Naomi Feminist. Porn today is lame and only geared towards sexual deviants. ALL pornos end the same way– why would I be in the least bit turned on by watching some dude masterbate on a woman? I thought the idea behind having a woman there in the video, is that you NO LONGER have to do that!!!! Either that, or it is all about the "barely legal" or "teen" stuff. What abou those of us that want to watch COUPLES porn, that feature consenting adults and MILFs that actually look like they are enjoying themselves? WHy does the guy always masterbate on the woman afterwards? Why doesn;t the girl ever finish up? Now THAT would be a good porn video.
Switch to Japanese porn. You'll never be bored again.
I have NEVER looked at porn as a man. I read the BIBLE everyday...and I encourage all your heathens to do the same. Since I stopped thinking of sex, I stopped having sex and then woke up and my private part had atrophied and fell off. So guys, you dont need sex or porn.....or your you know what. Im a eunuch now and VERY happy!
Hehe... are you kidding?! The bible was great porn for me when I was 12. There are some really lusty descriptions in the song of solomon. However, by 13 I was an atheist, so I switched to the JC Penny's catalog and the art and anatomy section of my encyclopedia.
I used to wonder that as well. Why do all porn flicks end the same way? I found out that they don't call it "the money shot" for nothing. There must be demand for it. Is that what the typical male wants to see? Or is it a latent desire to see a penis ejaculating? I'll be honest; I like to watch penises ejaculating. Don't know that I'd try any M-M sex though.
wow this article and most of these comments are written as if there is a normal sexuality/sex drive/sexual proclivities and an abnormal counterpart(s). Wolf doesn't mention sexual orientation but it seems to be implied that she is discussing pornography's relationship to porn and women. And the constant references to what women need/marriage problems/"get a girlfriend, get a wife" etc. seem to imply the same thing...
Again, the media wants you to think that this is solely a male issue and that only a man is to blame in there inappropriate behavior. There is a woman involved in these and, in many cases, knows the marital status (may even be married herself) and still participates. She knows the guy is going to go down eventually and that she will somehow be labeled by our politically correct society as a "victim" who is now emotionally hurt and can only be healed via payment to do interviews and get famous.
Women drive men crazy, but its a good kinda of crazy
If men were being satisfied at home there would be no need for porn. They are searching for something...
MEN WANT SEX......period! Its not complicated. 60% of ALL Internet traffic is porn. What does that say about Men???? Not some men, ALL Men! We want sex, period. Is there a woman out there that doesnt want a man who wants sex? When men arent having sex they likely are thinking about it, and looking at it and looking at other women. Why do we have to keep explaining this to the young women in the news that write these articles trying to "fix men". There is nothing to fix. Its why you will ALWAYS have men in the news getting into scandals. Is there anyone alive that thinks we will wake up one day and all sex and pornography will disappear and men will be reading the Bible on Friday night while their girlfriend is away???
The ONLY solution to this is to accept Pornography and mens sexuality and stop hiding it, shaming it, fearing it. Thats a relic of some polyanish pilgrims pride. The key for women understanding how to deal with sexual men who look at dirty pictures to embrace it and participate. Think about it....could be much worse......swinging, cheating, children with other women, venerial diseases, sex addictions, erectial disfunction....come one, porn is nothing compared to that!
You make some good points here. Sex is dirty. Nice girls don't perform fellatio. Anal intercourse – eeeww, grosses me out. I blame it on religion; Christianity specifically.
Ever been to a Muslim country? Talks about sexual repressed... Christians don't hold a candle to Islam.
Stormy, stop trying to talk on behalf of all men. You're an idiot.
What a bull article. You know how long people with power have either cheated on their wives or abused their power in general? To also say it is "on the rise" is quite stupid since so many are probably never found out in the first place. And to blame "porn" that it's "driving men crazy" is wrong and irresponsible, because we have always been crazy.
Porn is like EVERYTHING else; it is fine for adult consumption in moderation.
I prefer youporn dot com.
like
There's porn on the internet? Where?
This article is exactly what I'd expect to read here, in the U.S., one of the most sexually repressive cultures on the planet. The women in this country have been raised to be ashamed of thier sexuality; brainwashed by right wing conservatives to believe that in polite society, they shouldn't be sexual creatures. Then they go out to spread the word, calling men bad for being normally sexually driven.
By contrast, in england, they teach school kids that an orgasm a day is good for you, masturbation is normal, and give thier kids education on safe sex. Why? BECAUSE SEX IS NORMAL!
Scandinavian cultural mores are even more liberal, but we won't go there in prudish America
yes sex is normal, but porn is not. What other animal looks at pictures of strangers to get off? it messes with your ability to be real intimate with another person. it has messed me up.
Um, if other primates could create porn I bet they would. It's much easier to watch porn than go sneak off into the jungle and risk death to mate with some strange primate from another group that you saw at the banana tree last week.
Modern porn was not "created" by some deprived unnatural men. It has evolved naturally with humans and technology over thousands of years. It is highly refined now which is a process of natural selection. Soon, porn will be perfect.
Believe dat.
What other animal has to deal with feminazism, 'moods', socio-religious controls and consent laws to get a female to get off?
I find porn very useful.. If I want to please a female really really well... I just rub one off before the date and I last twice as long. Men are programmed just like any other male animal on the Earth to mate with as many females as possible, this is the goal of genetics. Some women will say.. "well we are more intelligent, we are on a different level than animals" I agree we are more intelligent, but we are still animals so don't give me that sh– dont pull the wool over the eyes. So the urge to pull up porn and see other females is better than actually doing it, for the married men. I don't see a problem with it at all. I just wish it wasn't so easy to get to, I kind of miss the days of the Adult Book Stores.
How about you cite some of your sources?
"Indeed, hardcore pornography’s effectiveness in achieving rapid desensitization in subjects has led to its frequent use in training doctors and military teams to deal with very shocking or sensitive situations."
Put on some conservative cloths, girls, and we will not covet the precious porn as much
Yes, preferably all black from head to toe with just a narrow slit, or better yet, a cloth veil to see through. If you show ankle, we will stone you!
Heh, heh! You said "slit". Heh, heh...
I started out skeptical of this article, but the more I read, the more I have to agree with it. It does de-sensitize. Anything you could possibly fantasize in your wildest dreams is available with a bit of searching and the push of a button. I've always been a "visual" kind of guy; I wanted to put a 100-watt light bulb right up there and look at it while I'm masturbating. Now I can get well-lit, well-focused close-up action any time I want it. I'm 63 years old, in a rotten marriage, and haven't been laid in 10 years. Porn has been my only outlet. I'm not even sure I could satisfy a woman now.
Dude...brother...seriously, life is short. You've worked hard and seem like a stand-up kinda guy. Do yourself a favor and blow some of your retirement savings on a hot, young, professional escort...the kind you see in the movies you are watching. Go to your doc and pick up some "medicine" to help things along if you must. Men need to stop whining and take care of their own needs in their own ways. Women have failed us in the normal ways (i.e. marriage/dating). Time to do it for ourselves on our own terms.
Don't think I haven't thought *real* seriously about that!
Well, at least you still have porn. No matter how tough things get for you, porn will always be there for you. No matter how many people leave you or die, porn will always love you. It's unconditional and always there for you. Stop complaining and say thank you.
das wienerschnitzel ist kaputt?
Man sagt: "DER" Schnitzel mein Freund !
wow. you call your marriage rotten, yet you're still in it. is this normal? I'm 35 and still single. I was always single. I look at porn all the time, but have sex as well. but almost prefer porn. I'm so good with my hand.
may I recommend you watch some eckhart tolle? go to youtube.
OK did a quick Wiki scan, and I can't see how this guy is going to help me get laid.
He won't. But he will help you to be more appreciative of the porn you have.
Eckhart Tolle really, look women have had far to much control for to long, its a sad state of affairs, and only a sorry lack luster person would even suggest that.
I'm sorry for your unfortunate circumstance. At the risk of sounding like devil's advocate, have you considered that it is possible porn is not the solution, rather something that helps you avoid the problems in the marriage (lack of intimacy). Again, I'm sorry for your situation.
Let's see: The media and American culture make kids feel socially unaccepted if they have not given each other oral sex before the age of 14. Sex is no longer something special. BTW, try asking women to give up their vibrators or so called "personal massagers". Why is their no movement to get women to give up their vibrators. In fact, these so called experts encourage women to by vibrators and sex toys to experiment and "heal" themselves. Some men are addicted to porn, just as some women. Some men have to masterbate a lot just like many women. The problem is not that these men are getting caught texting pics, but the problem is that we are talking about men texting pics of themselves. This crap is not news. If a man an a woman have what some consider a lewd conversation between themselves, it is their business.
Women end up with vibrators usually in their 30s and beyond...you know, after they've moved out of the 20s "hottie" phase when they slowly realize that NONE of the boys they dated from the bars, parties, nightclubs, etc. they met them at wanted nothing more than a booty call. Then it's the vibrators and the cats on Saturday night from then on.
I'm a man. I can only speak for myself – this article is nonsense.
With men, It's *all* about getting our rocks off, by whatever means necessary!
Not all men, just the politicians. Please don't squeeze our tomatoes – Jersey fresh.
That's corny!
Want to make a movie?
We can call it "CORN AND TOMATO PIE".
I'll join you.
Succotash!
It seems to me that most porn is geared towards women and gays. Most portray unnaturally studly men who never tire.
you havent seen much porn have you...
I have not seen much creative porn.
this vid blows your theory: (from xhamster - you figure it out)
/movies/701306/milf_dons_nylons_for_footjob_and_fuck.html
This is "most" porn?
lol you said it man. i feel bad for anyone at work with an anal IT dept
check out youporn dot com or porntube dot com. both are decent and free
pornpornpornpornporn.
Porn has ruined my sex life. I can't get turned on by a real person anymore. I need the ability to flip through women. fast.
Are you sure that is not the effect of another problem rather than the cause?
I'm surfing porn as I read this.
Yet another article that wants to blame pornography for the fall of civilization, similar to people who want to blame violent video games for people who shoot up a school. These types of arguments are all fallacious, as time and time again we see people who are exposed to these elements and yet do not do crazy things. This article is blaming the messenger for the problem. Pornography is not the issue among sexual addicts, merely the messenger that reveals it. Before the internet existed, people simply found other outlets to feed their sexual addictions, whether it was prostitutes, strip clubs, or whatever. Pornography has not resulted in these people become more sexually addicted, simply changed how they express it. It is completely ridiculous to think that pornography is what caused people to sext others; rather it is technology that has revealed that these people have sexual addictions. In the past, a sexual predator would have been lurking at a bar, or a street corner, or some other social setting where he/she could find a prey. If Gov. Weiner had been on a street corner exposing himself to women who walked by, who would anyone have known it was him? Now, with the internet, it has simply become more public when they make a mistake and are revealed. The difference is how easy it is to see these types of people now, not pornography. Don't blame the messenger.
I'm a woman, and I like porn, and I like sex, too. My husband likes porn and I don't care. I don't care if he looks at it when I'm not around, either. I'm not threatened by it, because I know that porn is fantasy and not reality. I don't think it's an unhealthy activity for men or for women. Now: if people use porn in place of actually interacting with real, live people, including their spouses/GF/BF/whatever, then it is probably a problem. And, if looking at porn skews their expectations of how real, live women (and men! not all men are "porn-star-hung"!) are and how they look (99% of women do not do so much cocaine that they are stick thin, have giant balloons on their chests for boobs, or slather so much self-tanner on them they look radioactive-orange; NOR do they have pillow-fight slumber parties where they practice making out with each other) then that can become a problem as well, because porn is just for fantasy – it's NOT REAL. However, I think the author of this article is trying to make the point that some people – women as well as men – can get caught up in the fantasy of it so much that they lose touch with reality, thereby f'ing up their real life relationships or chances at relationships. She inadvertently went a little far in blaming men for watching too much porn though, which I agree with you guys on. So people like porn – so what? Porn is fun. Porn is an easy release – no strings attached – for both men and women. It's just knowing how to keep the boundary of fantasy and reality clear that's important.
Well said!
i love MILF and housewife p0rn
I'm a woman and completely agree, great comment.
The big differences are:
1. In the past if an athlete or politician messed around the beat reports kept it to themselves. Seriously, go read up on players and politicians from the pre-internet era. No difference other than what get treated as private and what gets exposed by the media. And how can Naomi Wolf not be aware of all those old stories?
2. More guys are getting in trouble over the internet and with texting now than ever before. Well more people than ever before are using cellphones and the internet now too. Kind of hard for some politician to have gotten in trouble from texting in the 70s or even the 90s for that matter.
3. These men of power used to use better judgement about it and were far more discreet? Really? Constant streams of other women into the White House was being more discreet? Have you not read some of the old tales now revealed about sports stars of the past? The MEDIA used to be far more discrete. And the internet and electronic devices simple leave provide a ton more ways to leave records all over the place.
4. if it is true that it leads to the need for ever more extreme forms then why did the latest internet search and watch studies find that the simplest most basic things used to be and still are the ones most searched/viewed?
Just go by Occam's Razor instead of making up all sorts of hypotheses.
How about:
1. the media used to hush this stuff up before they don't now
2. you can't get in trouble messing around using devices that didn't exist
3. if there is new technology all over the place that leaves a lot more records around than before then you shoul dnot be surprised if they end up leaving a lot more records around
I mean maybe she is right, but there sure seem to be some much simpler explanations and usually, if granted not 100% always, the simplest most straightforward explanation is the correct one. I suspect, strongly, that she is 100% wrong most of her claims. Even if the everyone, male or female, expects a model these days might have some truth to it I don't think it has anything to do with what she says. You hardly need to turn to porn to see great looking people all over and many of the ones not in porn a far better looking anyway. Just look on TV, movies, advertising, regular magazines (especially women's mags actually), etc.
It seems to me she is ignoring a lot of simple explanations and apparently pretending that she is not aware of all sorts of things that one finds it hard to imagine that she is not aware of and letting agenda color her hypotheses a bit.
Let me know where I can buy the Cliffsnotes version on your comment
OK how about:
She appears to be making up a ridiculous hypothesis to push an agenda while ignoring tons of very simple and plausible explanations some of which she surely must be well aware of.
Even now the big news outlets let small fry/disreputable organizations that break the stories. Drudge, Enquirer, etc. For the big outlets, it's all about getting interviews, so they have to keep the good side.
@Past – I agree. Naomi Wolf has created some elaborate hypothesis in order to explain the uncouth behaviour of those high-profile men. Many high-profile men are getting caught sexting because sexting wasn't even possible until recent years. I doubt it has anything to do with porn.
"Some powerful men have long been sexually voracious; unlike today, though, they were far more discreet and generally used much better judgment in order to cover their tracks."
Bullshit. It just wasn't reported all over the news. Ridiculous generalization.
Here's another theory perhaps the increase in social media/technology outlets has both reduced peoples inhibitions and internal filters as well as making those people who aren't discrete more visible. Why is Wolf limiting this to sexting? As other experts are always so keen on telling us how social media and technology removes real communications and distances us from each other. People today will say things on the phone to each other that they would never say in person and further yet they'll facebook status something they would never say in person and even further they'll text something they would never do or say in person. However, unlike in person these things keep records that people can easily find and publish. Or perhaps there were people just like the celebrities this article is eluding to that lived 30 years ago and they really really wanted to send a lewd picture to another person but unfortunately their 10 pound brick phone didn't have that capability.
This issue isn't just related to men and their "recent" propensity to act irrationally cause they're all hopped up on porn. Remember the school official who made an inappropriate and mean comment about youth homosexuals? Or the kids that posted a sexual encounter of their roommate online? Or the kid that got suspended from school cause she made a "threatening" facebook comment about her teacher. I don't imagine any of those were caused by porn but because people had a stupid impulse they could easily indulge and because it was online the action didn't seem as significant. I mean heck look at the comments people will post to each other on CNN, do you ever see people talking to each other like that on the street?
And lastly why is it always assumed with porn or at least articles implicitly imply, that porn has the same effect to all men across the spectrum? "Alcohol-effects all people differently and so one should be careful especially at a young age" "Gambling-can become a problem to those with addictive personalities" "Porn-Turns all men of all ages into pigs"
If Naomi Wolf says it, it's worth being ignored.
ams i appeared to strike a chord with you so it must be...YOU are fat and lazy.
Porn doesn't drive men crazy, women who make porn a necessity in a man's like drive men crazy.
porn does not whine endlessly about "fear of commitment." porn doesn't expect you to watch chick flicks. porn doesn't want you to sell the Vette and buy a minivan. porn isn't looking for a doctor with a Harley and tattoos. porn doesn't need to work on our relationship. porn doesn't throw a screeching hissy fit if you leave the toilet seat up, drop your underwear where you took it off or blow a righteous 20 second fart.
Search able databases of social interests allows the exploration of more specific interests while reducing the risk of offending peers.
One of those specific interests is titillation from knowing what famous people are getting titillated by.
The media is cashing in on that fetish big time!
Men use porn because deep down they are afraid of women. They are also afraid of the intimacy that involves vulnerability and love. For evidence of this...note all the ad hominem/fear-mongering comments made on this site about women. Pro-porn men are clearly freaked out and upset by women. On the other hand, no self-respecting man needs porn. Men: if learn how to be intimate in every sense of the word (spiritual, mental, emotional, physical), then porn will seem like eating mud when a seven-course meal is in front of you.
Get passed over for porn much?
Nope.
I'm the seven-course meal, sweetie.
Insecure much?
Way to, ironically enough, patronizingly speak down to all men when you are not even one yourself and quite clearly have zero clue about what or how men think.
And I suppose romantic movies and novels are better than men might be the next thing you'd say.
You've watched too much Oprah and drank her particularly repugnant and poisonous brand of koolaid. There is nothing special about you. You are boring and tedious and full of yourself. Truly a legend in your own mind. You do not know the first thing about pleasing a man s3xually and I recommend you watch p0rn to learn what your mouth is for...give you a hint...it's not for talking.
You've made the most sense of anyone I've heard here.
I hate to break it to you, if a man has been nodding his head at all that talk about intimacy, he a, was just going through the necessary motions to get at what comes next or b, knows better than to argue with you about it.
You sound like you define the perfect relationship talking to your girlfriends, not your man. Intimacy? He's happy you're there, but probably just wants to go to sleep.
With your judgmental attitude, I seriously doubt your man feels as intimate as you do.
He's probably afraid he'll be lambasted as weak and cowardly if he tells you of any need or desire you disapprove of.
One thing is wrong with this article: it was written by a woman. A woman can research all she want about the porn phenomenon with men. She is not a man and cannot necessarily speak for men on this subject. Women just find it degrading and the married women think it's 'cheating' if their husband watches porn. Well, what if a married woman uses a vibrator? Is that not the same concept but with a different medium? I don't know. But, no, porn is not making men insane. How long has Playboy, Hustler, and Penthouse been around? Porn was being made and sold since the dawn of photography and cinema. Yes, it is more widely available due to today's technology. But is it driving men crazy? No–it has been going on forever.
I spit on this article as more fear-mongering with a dash of feminism. Don't urinate in my ear and tell me it's not raining. I can spot the author's agenda a mile away.
If more women would have s3x regularly enough with their significant other this would not be a problem. It does happen but I have heard of very few guys getting divorced, cheating, addicted to porn etc.. who had someone there eager to please. Most women have a "sure we can do it if I don't have to be involved" attitude and as a result guys do what they are wired to do.
The shortage of 'smokin' hot women' who bang like a screen door in a hurricane is what drives men crazy, that's why the industry is filled with the trophy blondes and 'built for speed' brunettes.
Excuses, excuses is all I hear. The weak-willed will be inadequate partners sexually and socially regardless of how much porn they watch. Men and women alike have been guilty of idiocy for centuries.
Furthermore, the author seems to be avoiding an obvious error in her argument: porn is merely a tool of personal pleasure, which is the real source of the dopamine boost. If this article had been written about what men do in their private time, it would have been laughed off the internet. But instead, the author vilifies a "sinful" industry, and effectively forms a straw man argument to the same ends.
I think there is a problem. I know several people right now who are addicted to porn instead of getting the same thing from a real person they use a computer to give them that sexual relationship. I think it is causing many women to become sexual repressed. I think that the problem would go away with pornography images going away. I struggled with porn for 13 years it was hell having the guilt feeling and wanting to look at porn for longer because the high off releasing the tension. I think it has to do with the sex drive of a man and most men have a serious drive. How did humans survive with this before? I am sure there is a way to deal with the problem that doesn't deal with sleeping with bf/gf because that causes a butt load of other problems kids, std's, committment (sticking with a person for a lifetime), avoiding real problems in your life instead of using porn as a crutch.
Feeling guilty for feeling is a mental health issue that may have been expressed through porn but was not caused by it. I am betting it still exists in other forms.
FAP FAP FAP FAP I <3 porn
Well, by the number comments, I guess the editor has your attention. I believe in Jesus Christ and of the gods above. Porn is a sin!! It will ruin your life! Another Theory comments are 110% correct! Pray and meditate...peace
I will be honest PORN is most likely saving my marriage. We have no kids, not too busy of a schedule and I have sex about every 3 to 6 months!!!! She just doesnt need sex and I do. Sad. Im faithful but porn helps cause she doesnt desire sex. I change my oil more often!!!! So people that think bad about PORN what are you options when you only have sex about 3 to 5 times a year? THanks im open to your answers?
I agree with your premise. Sex drive changes through life for many reasons. It is unrealistic to expect that two people will always have compatible needs and desires through out their lifetime.
For those who's commitment goes beyond s3x adjustments and tolerance keep the relationship working.
Your comments are precisely why notions of monogamy are archaic and absurd. I don't rely on any ONE woman to fulfil ALL of my needs. Only a FOOL does that!
monogamy is an orientation. If someone is not oriented towards monogamy then expecting them to be monogamous is a road to disappointment. But some are oriented that way. It is not a choice it is just the way we are wired.
My friend, you both need counseling. You are at the point where you will be building frustration and resentment. Not sure how old you are but your situation is not that of a healthy couple. Seek help if you still love her. Good luck.
Do you desire taking out the garbage, paying bills or listening to her b1tch about trivial matters? And yet you still do all of the above because you've made a commitment to her? Now you see the crux of your problem. Who cares if she has no desire, it's her JOB to stay down on her knees and service you until you say she can go. Anything short of that is SPOUSAL ABUSE!
Sorry for your situation for sure. But to ask a devil's advocate question: is the porn saving your marriage, or just helping you pass the time (sexually speaking) while your marriage slowly goes down the drain? Sorry to be blunt, but there are reasons why people don't connect physically. Figuring out what those reasons are and dealing with them openly and honestly over time is significant. It could likely reignite the spark.
I would have to agree with you I work weird and long hours and sometimes when "im in the mood" she is not there due to work or she just not wanting any. So I will use porn not as a replacement of her but as something to fill the gap between. And I dont know how old you are or you situation but if both of you would exercise together it does help to increase libido especially in females since there bodies and brain are more sensitive to testosterone.
The cavalier, disrespectful way most of the men responders are answering to the female input says a lot for what you are doing in your off time and how that is shaping your opinions and interactions with women in general.
Porn is addicting and it is ruining not only relationships but families. I don't really care if men have more sexual drive – so what? The lack of impulse control is a weakness not an excuse. Grown ups understand that they can't go around indulging in every impulse, those that do pay the cost of it – eventually, wether it's in regards to money or other impulses. If men exerted more self-control and put their energies more into their relationships then they would get more sex...if that is really what porn is about. I dont think that it is. I think its about insecurity, laziness, selfishness, and cheap thrills – sometimes at the cost of what should be the most meaningful to you. It is a disconnect – and it will disconnect you from the reality that most women are hurt and unable to feel toward their partner what they need to in order to have meaningful and frequent intimacy with that same partner. Men who have a porn problem often have a cheating problem and these are the same men who don't think they have a problem period. These are the same men who want women to look a certain way and act a certain way and do not see how shallow and superficial they are. It is as realistic as if a women required you to be a multi-millionare before she could be attracted to you...granted there are those kind of women out there and these men that are their equivalent.
Men tell themselves that its harmless and it doesn't hurt anybody. Its a selfish and juvenile statement. The porn industry has done immense damage to those in the industry itself and the black markets that are offshoots of it. Countless marriages and families have been hurt and broken from it ...stop kidding yourselves. Stop excusing yourselves. It is so narcisistic to put your fantasy life above that of your famillies, relationships, and the sensibilities of women in general.
Women's lack of "impulse control" is precisely what drives our F-ing economy, little girl! Remember that next time you are drooling in front of a department store window getting ready to spend the money that was budgeted for your kids' college fund.
Idiot.
I think you are a self righteous frigid woman who is controlling their "significant other" with your stupid talk of self control. When was the last you griped at your husband or kids, then blamed it on "that time of the month?" How about walking past a shoe sale? My experience(extensive) with women are they have little if any self control of anything except withholding sex, they do that with amazing stamina. All most of you want to do is fix your man, which is code for neuter. I love being committed to a wonderful woman, she is awesome, but this article is total BS. I have watched a startling amount of porn, often. I have no performance issues what so ever, NONE zip, zilch... I can, and have had a lot of sex in one day, yes with real women... My performance is proof with my 4 kids and I am in my 40s, late start with kids, see the aforementioned lots of sex with many women before I met my wife. I will not let sex be a control on me, which is what women try to do, even my wife has tried, porn was my savior, I was able to weather the test and she failed using sex to control me. What control you might say? Example: I can name MANY times a little slip or perceived insult or slight by me ended a perfectly romantic evening with the wife and her "mood" resulting in no sex. After several times of me not giving a crap(thank you porn), this control method was abandoned, as your husband obviously needs to break your control methods.
she is a lo ser and her ga mes will only get worse over time. if the withhold bo oty weapon did not give her the control she sought, she will keep test ing and searching for it until she finds all of your buttons. she wants control. she's established that fact already. we need to work out a strategic exit for you.
WOW!!!!! At LEAST 75% of you are losers!!!! I can't believe you stopped watching porn long enough to read this article!
Wow, Jen took a break from painting her toenails to make a snarky comment on a message board. Impressive!
Too true, this article loses big time to porn on a time value ratio.
Why is pornography only driving men crazy? What a sexist article written by, wait for it, a woman. Who would have guessed that? Her credentials? No research background, no studies quoted, only nonsensical opinions that wouldn't pass muster anywhere but a sensation-grabbing "news" company. What is the world coming to?
'What is this world coming to' – The Beat of a Different Drummer no Doubt
I cant watch porn. It makes me laugh. I mean, the script lines are soooo STUPID. Maybe if I press the Mute button...but it is all so fake and blatant.
Considering how big the porn industry is you would think they could afford to hire a writer or two. But then good writing is becoming scarce in the mainstream movie industry also. Let's remake another movie. Yawn!
Wasn't that what He told You?
You must be old. Today's p0rn doesn't have much, if any dialogue. We've moved beyond all that. Only softcore (i.e. for women) and Andrew Blake stuff (i.e. for women) and radical lesbian p0rn (i.e. well, you get it...) still has actual dialogue that lasts for more than a few seconds. For men's p0rn, we prefer you STFU and spread.
well when my girl is constantly screaming she does not realize she is actually thanking all the porn
Porn addiction? You ever s**k d**k for some porn? Boo this woman!!!
If Ms. Wolf's premise were correct, the men to whom she refers wouldn't be exposing themselves on Twitter. They wouldn't be repeatedly cheating on their wives. They, in fact, wouldn't be bothering with women at all. They'd spend night and day spanking it to porn.
The reality is a lot simpler than her faux-science concerning "the male brain" suggests. Here it is: Given effective stimulation that leads to a relatively easy orgasm, people of both sexes will often take it, not ignore it.
This is exactly why women in mass numbers buy vibrators, read romance novels, and write sexual fanfic about characters from Harry Potter. They're simply going with whatever gets them off the easiest - just like men.
The self-destructive behavior of "powerful men" is another matter altogther, and can be explained like this: They're dumbasses.
Its not really about PORN in the classic sense. There are websites where one can go for FREE and CHAT with HUNDREDS of Naked Girls doing 'Stuff' along with THOUSANDS of guys who TIP them. Even the smallest town now has available online Advertisements for Dozens to Hundreds of Girls (in even medium sized cities) who have started working as ESCORTS in recent Years. It is YOUNG WOMEN who OPENLY make themselves Stupidly Easily Available for $80 'Specials' that is NEW
$80 specials? Where? In Somalia? Need sources.
seriously..online in every city in America Tonight..Teenage Girls are running 'specials' because there is suddenly so much more competition. Maybe its the Economy – maybe Gangs and Drugs – maybe just less student Loans – but its happening right now.
I love the laws of supply and demand.
This is a great point.
Sorry guys... man up and stop yanking on your weiner for enjoyment. Anyone who thinks porn is good for society is nuts. More porn = more need for viagra, less need for real relationships, more screwed up families, etc. Personally, I don't want to live in a female dominated society but that's where we're headed. Young men are skipping college, playing video games and getting off on themselves. Sad.
Women not satisfying their men = sadder
bought into the hype eh? try looking around in the real world instead of watching sensationalized news
What world are you living in? Yeah, there are the sleazy men here and there, but there are plenty of moral and diligent men around, too.
looks like society needs to change: paired monogamous relationships are not natural. time to stop being so dominating with the relationship standard and letting go, everyone needs to be a bit more openly promiscuous and just enjoy the good things in life, preferably before you die and you're still young. Be it polyamory, swinging, you name it, the couple model is not working in the modern world
This is all BS. Porn was way more hardcore years ago. People get waxed and bleach their a-holes now. Imagine back in the day banging some broad with her hairy A. Now tell me, what is more hard core? Thats right. Modern society has really cleaned up porn I think. Humans are humans and men like to explore. You think gaping orifices is a new thing. Give me a break. Maybe the reason porn is on the rise is cuz men are not getting what they need from their mates.
+1 for gaping orifices
Wondering... are the computer mice ...SLIMEY or Gooey ???
That is 'GUI' Dear
I was going to read this article then I realized there wasn't any porn here.
Only one who's never wanted to eat would condemn the hungry. Sexual urges are every bit as fundamental as hunger. Maybe porn is junk food for the libido. However, if Ms. Wolf has ever treated herself to a pint of ice cream, then she should get off her high horse. We all satisfy our urges. Furthermore, if she's never felt urges as strong and insistent as these men do, then should she consider herself luckier? Any man (and many women) would consider their libidos as important as their senses of smell or taste.
Furthermore, contrary to Ms. Wolf's conclusions, studies have found that porn makes men more docile in their daily lives, because their nights are regularly spent relieving tension. Who is more troublesome: a man who achieves satisfaction every night, or one who never does?
Really, Ms. Wolf should be honest. She should just admit that she has no interest in all those poor males and their "addiction" to pornography. She just finds it icky and wishes it would stop. Good luck with that, Ms. Wolf. In the meantime, maybe you should seek help.
All of these comments, and I don't recall reading the word "variety". Many married male consumers of porn took their wedding vows before the internet became prevalent. Once online, many of these married guys found the variety of pretty models' pictures and videos online and said to themselves "Wow, if I had known of this VARIETY of pretty models, I would never have gotten married to this meddlesome, complaining and aging partner." Truth is, it is very pleasant to spend hours browsing and admiring pictures and videos of pretty models photographed in their prime. Ladies, you can be real sweet and I feel for ya, but you can't compare with near perfection. Finally, don't underestimate the power to turn down the volume or close the window of digital porn. Many a husband would like to have a MUTE or OFF button for their wives. Cheers, Rusty.
And you can't compete with the intelligence of a book, the good taste of a cup of coffee, or the quiet of a sunrise. You ar obsolete. Off yourself.
How did you know that I love coffee, too, mate? Alex, have you ever found a portfolio of a model that meets your specifications exactly, and then "zoomed" and "rotated" away until all your stress was gone? I am not talking about XXX, I am talking about tasteful portfolios of beautiful women. We can have that AND books and sunrises. Are you on your high horse, matey?
Alex, get back to your tawdry escorting blog, you nasty tart!
No actually it keeps me sane.
Every powerful man that I know of who engaged in self destructive behavior engaged in lying when they should have said "piss off."
Men in the ages of yore were better at covering their tracks? Hardly, they just didn't live in a hyper sensitized 24 hour online digital media-addicted society that is ravenous for any hint of scandal.
Scandal is the pornography of the anal retentive.
Nice one!
this is the 2nd article on the subject of pornography and it's influence on modern society I have read today. The other was by Tim Worstall at The Register: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/06/30/smut_freakonomics/
to sum up and merge these articles:
Rape is down.
Fertility is down. (considering the amount I hear about over-population, wouldn't this also be a good thing?)
So, why are some arguing against pornography?
It obvious now that this writer has issues with men in general - unless she was hired to stir the pot ....
So, whose responsible for promoting porn? Who are the ones that make millions and perhaps billions. Who are the ones that miss construe sexuality between man and women. I'll give you a hint: Zionist. Media is a powerful instrument it makes people think they need that to feel complete. What you see on TV brain washes people into thinking that's the kind of person they need to be attracted. Most lead actors are Jewish coupled with non Jewish hot females. It sends a message that all beautiful women should be with Jewish men. Ron Jeremy admits to this.
You mean like Natalie Portman?
You are so wrong its hilarious!!!! The zionists make way more than billions promoting this stuff. I heard they make bazillions or even gazillions. Get your facts straight.
Porn actually restored my sanity. While I've always loved porn, from 16 to 30, I dated and was involved in a few long-term relationships that were very "normal". What got me through a sort of "tragic" breakup in my last relationship: the discovery of the internet, and all the porn you could handle. After a period of time, I came to realize that I had, FOR YEARS, been in the habit of compromising, making bad decisions, doing things I didn't want to do, tolerating situations I couldn't understand – all because of the power of sex. Women have it, and they know how to use it.
I do NOT harbor any ill feelings toward women. We're different creatures, and I think women are doing the best they can, racing on their strengths. But things have changed – drastically. Men now have the ability to choose either a virtually endless variety of free porn, or a girlfriend/wife. Many of us have done the cost/benefit analysis and chosen the former. I don't miss the drama, the guilt trips, the unpredictability, or the years-old nagging suspicion that women, possibly due to their complex emotions and thought patterns, seem to have far more difficulty than men when it comes to being happy in life.
At least for me, there is no downside to porn. I've been using it for almost 30 years now, and MUCH moreso in the last 13 years since I became single and free. I have to tell you, it is just a beautiful life! I do exactly as I please, whenever I please. No one to answer to. I am lucky to have some very good friends to hang out and chat with, which is more than enough interaction for me. Do I miss the intimacy of a real relationship? On occasion. But I would NEVER trade porn to go back to that life.
Ladies – let it go. There is no need for us to be at war. You don't need us for financial support anymore, and we don't need you for sex anymore. The prostitution is over. Go in peace
The power dynamic of s3x is not one sided.
This gentleman nailed it. Easy access to porn subverts and undermines the power that women had over us, and women know this. That is the main reason that they hate porn.
Typically, a scantily dressed tease will be parading herself in public. In the past, she would have been approached by many suitors offering dinner, drinks and eventually marriage. With digital porn, we just have a little look and then say to ourselves "Nice, but I can do better at home on my computer, and for FAR less money and grief." Not to mention the fact that the pretty girl will one day become a magnet for cellulite, varicose veins, etc.
So the (male) consumer of porn goes on to a lifetime of a variety of QUIET, beautiful, smiling women, but today's single women have an uphill battle: significantly less suitors in need of their relatively flawed wares. Just my opinion!
Porn has taken women's power away, exactly! They absolutely cannot stand this, especially closet feminists.
Here is the issue... Powerful men in the public eye getting caught cheating is the new headliner. Has any of these investigations looked at the root of why this is happening more often? Has anyone been inside the bedrooms of these families to give a first hand example? How is the woman always the victim? If they don't have a healthy sex life, is that not considered abuse to the male if he isn't getting what he needs? And what about the women that are the culprits?
Bottom line, a healthy relationship needs a good sex life, if it doesn't have it, someone will stray and go find it. Stop placing blame, and do what you are suppose too. If you marry someone and want to be with that person for the rest of your life, you need to adapt.
Relationships are 60-40, give 60 and expect 60 percent. If both sides do that, all problems will be solved. It's effort. plain and simple.
The end should be give 60 expect 40
This is a great article! Porn is absolutely impairing the ability of many people to have normal healthy relationships. My daughter was swept off her feet at age 18 by a 22 year old who claimed to be a committed "Christian." After they were married, instead of the premature ejaculation one might consider normal for a 22 year old, he had ongoing problems with very delayed ejaculation to the point that extremely prolonged intercourse caused her extreme pain. He said this was all her fault because though beautiful, size 4, and in love with him, she did not excite him enough. Fast forward a few miserable years and she discovered he had a pornograpy addiction. He claimed he could quit any time he wanted to. She challenged him to do so and he said he had. She was much smarter than he gave her credit for. She installed a device to take screen snap shots of his computer use and learned that not only did he continue to use pornography, but the pornography subjects were child victims approximately age 8 to 13. Suddenly everything made sense. Though 18 when she met him, she looked about 13. He always tried to control her appearance, insisting she wear her hair long and up and her eye makeup dark and provocative. It turned out he had been addicted to child pornography for three years before he met her and another 3 1/2 years of marriage. I am proud that my daughter had the strength and conviction to turn him into the police and thankful that they are divorced after she spent 3 1/2 years being told that every problem in their marriage was her fault, while he hid this horribly destructive addiction.
Every time I hear a woman getting constant grief like this from a man, I tell her to look in to what he is up to. Without fail, the man is up to some trash and blaming her for everything in his life. It is so obvious I'm amazed it takes women so long to get wise to these creeps.
I can empathize with you about your daughter, but this boy and his porn "addiction" is not a valid argument to use against people who watch porn. This is like blaming some death from a gun on everybody that owns a gun. "You own a gun, therefore guns lead to you killing somebody..." He obviously had other issues separate from porn "addiction". People who do crimes such as this would do the crimes with or without porn. Heck, porn probably, in some twisted way, saved some child from this jackhole, of course not excluding the victim of the deviant porn material, which is sickening and heartbreaking.... My wife was raped, so I do have experience with sex related crimes. Was she raped because the man watched or didn't watch porn? Nope, he was a deviant SOB, that is all, plain and simple.
For single men porn is a healthy tool that can aid in arousal for masturbation, and masturbation is increasingly being seen as a healthy activity that males, especially single males, should engage in for some measure of protection against prostate cancer.
Yeah, I'll be certain to believe the "research" of a feminist.
Porn rescued men from contemporary women. Next up: Chinese sex bots!
Goodbye you harpies!
"Porn rescued men from contemporary women" SO agreed...I tried to be nicer about it, but your way of putting it might be closer to how I really feel.
You two are such liars. You would jump on the first woman who let you.
i bet you would too, you fat lesbo
This is news? Where has Wolf been? The ancient Romans knew all about this. Anybody can write a book.
I feel so sorry for many men posters here. Really, really sorry for them. Just sorry. Not the ones who are having genuine problems in their marriages. The ones who make these these sniveling, whiny comments about women not being physically perfect (whatever that is), women not giving them round-the-clock sex, women being the source of all their problems, turn down the volume, etc. etc. etc. waa, blah, blah, yawn. I get the distinct impression that a good many of of these men probably poor lovers. ( I'm talking to YOU: man who does not know a g-spot from a c-note. I'm talking about YOU: male with no clue about how pay bill OR a compliment. And I'm talking to YOU, guy lacking the inner resources to share your heart (or even your hart) with a woman. So stop whining, get off your lazy asses and start learning what makes the opposite sex tick. It will yield great returns. If both men and women took the time to figure out how to please their partner, behave more selflessly, rather than selfishly, and communicate honestly and lovingly there would be real intimacy, and the 'need' for porn would dissipate.
By analogy, if people would learn to love their jobs and their houses, the need for vacations would dissipate.
No – faulty analogy. Very faulty.
What's the difference? Marriage is the daily commitment, for better or for worse, for the rest of your life. A thing you value, like your job or your house. Porn is the meaningless, temporary diversion. Like a vacation.
Note that there is no gender mentioned here. She is free to take vacations, too.
First of all, there is the fallacy of equivocation. You are using the word 'meaningless' to describe the perceived value to or effect on the viewer ("that workshop was meaningless to ME"'"pornography is meaningless to me, I don't dwell it after I watch it"), when 'meaningless" could also be used to describe the objective value of the activity or thing itself (the dinar is meaningless in Iraq today because it is not used anymore/"pornography is a meaningless activity because it is not humanizing").
Therefore, you commit the fallacy of equivocation. I agree with what you say about porn being "meaningless," but only in the sense that it is an activity void of any real life-value not in the sense that the viewer treats it casually.
Secondly, the meaninglessness of vacations is debatable, some find them meaningful, and not a worthy topic now.
American women are not worth all that. It's more efficient to simply find women in other markets (i.e. countries) who know there place, which is to please the man and build their existence around his whims, desires and needs.
You prove my point exactly. Men who who lack understanding/fear women=lack of intimacy=pornography. Summed perfectly in your comment.
Thank you.
And you proved Christopher Hitchen's point that women lack a funny bone. Case closed, thanks for playing.
P.S – I'm sorry for your failed relationships.
It's like shooting fish in a barrel.
So where will you be getting your mail-order bride from?
I have a great sense of humor; I just don't find you funny dear.
Don't fight back the tears, RS, let it out.
Sounds to me like these men aren't the only ones with "sniveling, whiny comments." You fit in quite well with these guys.
RScan looks like a giant potato in real life. Bet me.
With loads of sour cream, chives and shredded cheese.
We weren't able to figure women out when it was the only choice we had, and we were trying. Why would we continue to try, now that it's just not necessary? Many of us are just simply no longer interested. Again, this doesn't have to be nasty...we can still be friends! Jeez. We'll take porn and sports, you take vibrators and cats – PEACE IN THE VALLEY!
NIIIIICE.
Sweetie....I love men too much to settle for so little between the sexes. I pity the poor souls who seem never to have been in love, been in a monogamous relationship, or been fulfilled by one person.
Potato-heads: again....proving my point. And quite funny, as I suppose it is too much for your potato heads (& I use it in the most non-ad-hominem sense; with affection) to accept. I am both brainy and beautiful. You crazy guys...so utterly dependable in your commitment to being sophomoric. Go Blue!
Ever notice how every woman is smart and hot on the internet? I stand by my previous statement. I guarantee you are indistinguishable from a pear. PIC with you holding a sign that says "THATDUDE WAS SO WRONG" posted on flickr or GTFO!
AHA found the proof... earlier post by RSCAN:
RScan
I'm the seven-course meal, sweetie.
Look out guys... she loves men, because she EATS THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am talking about frigid women who demand the man PAY the bills, make the effort to provide, work their butts off to house you and the ungrateful kids. How about YOU learn what the man wants? Does he want to put up with your romantic crap after being emasculated all day at work for hours on end? The women like YOU demean him and deny sexual "favors" because the kids stressed you out, or the boss put YOU in a bad mood. Sometimes we don't have time to put up with YOUR petty games, we want to "get off" so we can go to sleep, or whatever. We don't have time for games, sometimes, after the work is done, yard mowed, vehicle fixed, plumbing repaired, etc maybe then we will have time for stupid games like discovering what you want, which is YOU transmit as "please their partner, behave more selflessly" code for, "say something to piss me off and I WILL withhold sex." Women have no urge to give a crap about what a man wants, only what she can control or get from the act. Your entire gender is lazy and opportunist, you and women like you are threatened by porn, plain and simple, it removes your controlling "assets" You have no idea what it is like to be a man in this world right now, so STFU and get your man a beer, thank him for working and providing a home for you and the kids, and give him some action without all the head game BS. Maybe YOU should try learning what a man wants also.
Having just gotten a Ph.D in physiology and working with many women scientists, I take offense to calling our entire gender "lazy". I have seen too many women work twice as hard as a man and get half the credit. Not even just professionally. Tell me how a single woman with 2 kids who works 2 jobs is lazy? Now, I am not taking issue with your assessment of some women as wanting the man to take care of everything and then be a b**ch in return. I've seen it happen, and it detrimental to the rest of us. Just like players and skeezeballs are detrimental to the male gender as a whole, it does not mean those are characteristics in all men. There are those of us who truly care about our spouse, will work as equals, and to show that we truly care, find out what they like in bed and do it.
Bottom line is that porn fills a need being felt by the person watching it. The reason for that need could be many things, but for one reason or another that need is not being fulfilled by their partner.
The entire basis of her article is a joke since it claims that porn reduces sex drive and yet simultaneously increases risky attempts to fulfill sexual needs. Logic is not something to be feared. Use it, embrace it.
Naomi Wolf's view of sexuality is basically that of the Orthodox Jew and Muslim: That visible sexuality is debasing to both men and women, and therefore should be covered up. To quote her:
"I experienced it myself. I put on a shalwar kameez and a headscarf in Morocco for a trip to the bazaar. Yes, some of the warmth I encountered was probably from the novelty of seeing a Westerner so clothed; but, as I moved about the market – the curve of my breasts covered, the shape of my legs obscured, my long hair not flying about me – I felt a novel sense of calm and serenity. I felt, yes, in certain ways, free."
If she finds wearing a burqa to be liberating, then she should feel free to do so. After all, feminism is about freedom. However, she should not make the mistake of Orthodox Jews and Muslims in insisting that everyone else follow her lead.
I think she should marry a Saudi. then she can be banned from driving or leaving the house without being covered from head to toe and being escorted by a male relative everywhere she goes.
No kidding, where's my puritan garb. Maybe we should sew ourselves into some sacks so our privates never touch.
What tha?!? I was trying to get to SNN.XXX...fingers must have slipped......
Naomi,
What goes on inside the brains of women who willingly contribute to the porn you describe?
Richard
Pseudo-science and assumptive BS aside, is there really any question that men have always been like this?
What is the oldest profession in the world?
Interesting article. It is important to discuss this as it is a huge part of our lives thanks to the net. The internet exploaded from pron. In the old days you had to seek out the taboo- now it is splashed on page one. I worry for my kids.
I think Peewee said it best...you can't help but keep seeking out the next chalace. The next treasure...just one more mouse click. Isn't this getting boring to anyone else?
Learn how to kick a porn habit without getting beat in the head with a Bible... http://www.thirdoptionmen.org/blog/spanking-the-monkey-on-your-back/
This article was written by a woman, enough said.
Hey everyone, I've got a brand new 25 year old girlfriend who is screwing my 85 year old v1a gra _b0 ner and I'll be showing the whole world her goods on the glossy pages of my magazine like I've been doing since Marilyn Monroe graced our first cover back in the 1950s. Keep celebrating my celebrity and the pr0n industry. It's good for business and is what makes America great! Peace.
Great, another woman blaming porn for the problems of the world. Guess what? It's not the porn making them crazy. This stuff has been going on forever, it's just now with the media it is being publicized more. You think back in the rat pack days those guys weren't chasing tail all over the place with no discretion? I just love the continued p#$$ification of the male race. Don't buy into it fellas. It's a load of @#$@#@#$.
Amen. If you ask me the male species has evolved much from times of antiquity. In the ancient days women would be simply kidnapped and made to be a consort. Now we have a more civilized process and instead court women or use language to captivate their minds. Either those options or simply attract women in throngs due to great genetics coupled with an alpha male status.
Pretty simple really. Girls take note... The porn girls are having the type of sex men WANT to have but 80% of you are either unwilling or incapable of performing. Sorry, but the truth hurts. Out of the 35 or 40 women I've been with, I can honestly say that MAYBE 3 were good at sex. Maybe some of you girls need to up your game a little.
Nahhh these are mostly American women here. They'd rather b1tch about the 3 that ARE good or call them sluts.
German women are freaks in bed. Asians and Latinas can be very hot too. Eastern Euros are a mixed bag, but when you hit gold, you hit the mother-load. Play the numbers.
Wow, you had 3, I have similar numbers, I would put that number at 1 that was great, and she was a light BBW, she brought it, wow. Of course there is a saying, even bad sex is still good, LOL... Anyways, yeah women feel threatened by porn, it is taking their method of control away. We can, at the click of a mouse, have a female(or several) live out some fantasy for us, without the head games and female overhead. I get a kick when they believe we are watching "hotter" women, most are so naive to believe that we all look at the stereotypical anemic blond model type when we partake of porn... Talk about not knowing your partner...
This one is JUST FOR YOU NAOMI!!!!!!!
www youtube com/watch?v=W31ue-9u4z4&feature=related
LOL who loves you baby!!!
Ready, normal people?
I went and found a picture of Naomi on the web and rubbed one out to it while singing this song in honor of this rediculous article she wrote.
Leave porn alone yall...bad for your mind.
Sing it with me..... the internet is for porn
The problem for women is that most of them have nothing else of value to offer the market besides their booty. If the value of that commodity decreases in response to a positive shift in the supply curve, then market forces will drive policy (attitude) from the producers (women) to encourage a negative shift in demand in order to raise the value of supply once more. It's pure economics, fellas...way over the heads of these pretty, little cookie-bakers.
I enjoyed the way you put the issue in terms of market supply and demand. Such economic theories are the foundations of game theory.
I don't know. Former Congressman Weiner's case in particular has all the hallmarks of a classic case of Jim Beam Said It Would Be Fun. Looking for a link to porn may be overthinking the plumbing.
Anthony Weiner was caused by... porn?
Hmm... no, it seems more likely that male politicians have always been philanderers, but now with 24/7 paparazzi and media desperate for a story it always comes out when previously he would have just been deemed colorful and polite society wouldn't talk about him.
Sadly, Ms. Wolf, this sounds more like a joke than a serious essay.
Sorry but this article makes extraordinary leaps from premise to conclusion even in supposition that I don't find to be true for myself in the slightest.
Bottom line. Porn erodes the most potent feminine power base. Women who like to dominate their partners feel threatened by it. Women who are interested in the what their man really wants can from learn from it. Feeling threatened by it is as ridiculous as a man feeling threatened by a romance novel.
Feminists don't like that females are objectified by p0rn, but don't seem to criticize the supply (p0rn girls) for objectifying males (demand) as income sources. Exploitation cuts both ways; it's called a trade.
Porn has been around since time immemorial. Look up the Roman city of Pompeii and find out the extensive sexual material uncovered from the site. This whole notion of porn causing men (high status men in this article) to act in irresponsible ways is nothing new. Does anyone remember the long line of women that served President Kennedy during his premature tenure? On a similar note, high status men of past societies (China and various others) and even those of Western civilization were known to have concubines to appease their sexual drives. It is only after the advent and rise of Christianity that having sex for fun became taboo, although not as pervasive these days. If you ask me it seems that social media is just helping to uncover a phenomena that has been going on since homo sapiens first walked the earth. Think of other areas of life that social media has helped reinvent old notions in areas such as government (wikileaks), monogamy (digital trail), and religion (allegations made against the Catholic Church).
One last thing that is interesting to observe is how a certain p0rn site ranks in the top 100 most visited websites in the world. Such issues of sexual behavior wouldn't arouse nearly as passionate rhetoric if it were published in France. Interesting how our social mores can go against what is widely a norm in the male gender and maybe the female counterpart, for that matter (more research needed).
I agree with most of what you state, however blaming Christianity entirely is misplaced, check out some of the muslim countries, talk about repression and oppression.
I got news for ya. Porn didn't create men, men created porn. By suggesting anything else, you are showing a complete lack of real understanding of men. Men, especially those in positions of power, are capable of just about anything. We know now about Thomas Jefferson's exploits with slaves, but I would put any money that the depraved acts he carried out on those slaves of his would make Anthony Weiner cringe. And, had Weiner been in Jefferson's times, we would have never known about his infidelities. The difference between then and now isn't porn, it is modern communication technology and 24-hour news channels. Nothing has changed, we just hear about it all now.
Yeah buh buh buh but Thomas Jefferson probably had like really OLD porn! LOL
I would like all you intelligent people a very simple question! What is the purpose of this life?
To keep up with comings and goings of Lindsay Lohan?
Depends on who you ask and what religion you subscribe toward. At the end of the day life is just like a dream and once it ends we don't know what comes next. At least no one has died and come back to tell us how it was in the next world, if there is any. Except if you count those freak cases of people that were technically dead for an hour or so and miraculously resuscitated. If you ask me death is just like sleep, so no worries!
Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends much upon what you put into it. (with acks to T. Leher)
So as we slide down the razor blade of life, have as much fun as you can and try not to ruin it for the rest.
From my experience, porn IS addictive. Watching porn and using it to pleasure one self is going to lead to problems in the end. It does change your perception with women.
It becomes a problem when p0rn is used as a crutch to avoid meeting women and exerting the energy needed to maintain a relationship with a female, which usually entails sexual intercourse. From that point of view, one fails their duty as a human animal which is to reproduce and maintain the species. In that regard, yes p0rn can be a problem for some males that choose it over the real thing. However, anything can really become a problem when it goes beyond moderation.
I don't think you really need to actually act out in a certain way to really show the negativity of porn. The thing is why do people even watch porn in the first place? Your brain probably releases a lot of dopamine the first time and then will get use to more and more hardcore porn that goes against taboos. You brain just keeps getting used to it and desensitized to sex.
I just feel like the reasons people use pornography is almost selfish and wrong and that there is point to using it.
The world is overpopulated anyway! Three cheers for impotence! No one owes anyone else their sex life. If someone wants to spend their intimate moments alone, that is on them and makes no never-mind to me.
I will disagree with you on that point. Porn serves a vital interest in human relationships between a male and female. It can serve to elevate the sexual intimacy between a couple or even renew sexual passions that dwindle with time. Likewise, when a woman (wife in this case) may not be in the mood for sexual intimacy then a male can release his sexual energy in a healthy alternative way than to pursuing a new piece of booty. You are only looking at porn from one scope.
A similar comparison would be why do people watch movies when they could live out their own lives in replica to such. Likewise, why do people watch movies when they could read books. I have a question for you, are you against the use of the written word for purposes of sexual satisfaction? Apply your mind to all sorts of "What if" situations and really get down to the kernel of the issue.
jonathan
I will disagree with you on that point. Porn serves a vital interest in human relationships between a male and female. It can serve to elevate the sexual intimacy between a couple or even renew sexual passions that dwindle with time. Likewise, when a woman (wife in this case) may not be in the mood for sexual intimacy then a male can release his sexual energy in a healthy alternative way than to pursuing a new piece of booty. You are only looking at porn from one scope.
A similar comparison would be why do people watch movies when they could live out their own lives in replica to such. Likewise, why do people watch movies when they could read books. I have a question for you, are you against the use of the written word for purposes of sexual satisfaction? Apply your mind to all sorts of "What if" situations and really get down to the kernel of the issue.
I do understand where your coming from. But in my opinion the porn serves as a short term "crutch" that is pointless in the long run and may be even detrimental to a healthy relationship. If your using porn to keep fire alive in a relationship or even as something to hold someone off, then there is a problem. Your pretty much relying on an external source keep your relationship alive when in the end the solution relies on yourself and the your significant other.
Also why not focus that sexual energy on other things. I feel like since porn satisfies sexual energy so instantly, it just further creates a less active person. That is a vague statement, but personally i feel like since i stopped watching porn i have much more energy and obviously sexual energy. I use that sexual energy to do things in life that are beneficial such as practicing compassion.
Like i said before, i do understand where your coming from. Definitely question everything and become aware of the things you do. I have questioned pornography and definitely experienced it in the past, but i am now aware as to the reasons behind me doing it in the first place. It was a selfish sexual outlet that only worked for a short period of time and in the end just dug me further into turmoil. And honestly, i dont know why anyone else would do it other then pleasure yourself because a woman couldn't do it for you. That is selfish, which is the reason why it is wrong.
sorry i copy and pasted your post onto my post so i could read it while replying haha.
Yawn....I would of felt a bit better on this if Ms. Wolf had bothered to quote her sources for her "studies".
Also, what is she defining as "p0rn"? Simple nudity, sexually explicit nudity (viz., genitalia), or engagement in sexual acts? P0rn has been used to describe the entire gambit of these. So, if a guy looks at a topless women on the Internet, Will that desensitize men? Or does it require something more? Does it have to be pictures, or does it have to be video?
The thing is, the US is and has been somewhat puritanical when it comes to nudity. Many European nations are much more relaxed about nudity – are they experiencing these problems? How about places where porn is strictly outlawed, like China and strictly religious regions? Are they showing these issues?
Certainly the Internet has made porn more accessible, since it releases the stigma of having to go out in public and purchase these materials. But otherwise I find her arguments non-compelling.
All this talk about porn and self pleasure has me browsing another site now..
THANKS A LOT CNN! I just wanted news!
I don't know if porn is addictive, per se, but I do know that I have an addictive personality and if something makes me feel good or better than normal I will abuse it. This is true of alcohol, drugs and yes, sex. Was my uncle's "Playboy" magazines just a gateway drug to watching group sex on the internet?
It really depends on your age. For instance, if your an adolescent your frontal lobe is not fully developed as it will be upon reaching the age of 21-25. Exacerbate that with alcohol, drugs, and what not and self-discipline becomes eroded. I have experienced that as I developed out of adolescence my self professed "addictive" personality has eroded and I have gained the upper hand on my passions. That is just my experience but it bolstered by research in developmental psychology.
"Naomi Wolf is a political activist and social critic..."
Yeah, and if anyone is able to examine and correctly interpret "...an increasing body of scientific evidence.." regarding pornography (4th paragraph down), it's a political activist, FEMINIST, and social critic with a degree in English.
Sorry Naomi babe, the feminist movement lost the argument that porn "degrades" women (many women in the industry emphatically attest that it empowers them and at the end of the day, THEY are the ones in charge) so now it looks like you chicks are desperate to demonize it by any means and are now turning to alleged affects on men and taking flimsy studies out of context.
I'm sure it hurts that men find you physically and (especially) mentally repulsive, Naomi, but it's not the fault of the powerful, beautiful women in the industry.
Funny you mention how the pornography industry is empowering women. There was a recent documentary filmed by the BBC on this issue. It highlighted those supporting the argument with the appearance of a female porn director. She gave her opinion on the issue and bolstered it by having her porn stars also voice their side. By the end of the documentary you get the notion that porn is really empowering women and allowing them to gain clout in an industry formerly owned and controlled by males. Times are changing indeed and feminists must rethink their faulty positions on the issue of porn.
On another issue, I really liked Naomi's films on political issues and her work as a political activist. I hope she stays away from social issues such as this because it muddles up the great documentaries and work she puts into her career as a political activist and supporter of democracy.
The only difference between now and "back in the day" is that back then, all these recent scandals would've been swept under the rug. The women would be silenced and the men would get away scot free with no one ever realizing what happened.
Men are not behaving any differently, and it sure as hell doesn't have anything to do with pornography
porn keeps me sane.
I just read the article and I still can't believe it.
Porn driving men crazy? You have GOT to be kidding me.
Porn isn't driving men crazy. No jobs, in income, no power, no future is driving men crazy.
No woman is going to want to be with me because I lost everything thanks to this f'ed up economy and "innovation" that does nothing but change the rules faster than we can possibly adapt.
You woman can laugh all you want. Bottom line is I'll keep my porn and be grateful for it. I don't need you because you certainly wouldn't want me when I'm on hard times. I keep my porn, and you do...whatever it is you do. I guess read "Twilight" and get teary-eyed over sparkly vampires or whatever
My girl is crazy into porn !
Niomi honey... Kings,royals and countrymen have been enjoying sexual performances sense belly dancers in the east. Give a guy little break. Relationships require a hell of a commitment and guys want one but it can be a bit overwhelming nowadays and work doesn't always leave the time. So until then I say enjoy porn in moderation. Besides I learned a few tricks that my last girlfriend really enjoyed.
Is it so wrong to watch porn together? My girlfriend likes that I'm hung like a horse and knows that I need variety. So she doesn't mind if I do the five knuckle hog shuffle to a lesbian rug fest on TV. And in that, she likes it when I donkey punch her chocolate starfish while watching a quality girl on girl scene and then leave her with a backdoor cream pie or pearl necklace. Is that so wrong?
433+ comments in just a day?
Yes, pornography is driving men crazy!....
Yep.
Any pron image site has "8teen" pron images listed 300000 to 1 in popularity. How does that not ultimately create an army of sex offenders out of regular joes?
This idea that porn is driving men crazy is silly. We live in a sanitized world. Most people, as is plain to see from this article and many of the comments, are just so disconnected from the real world. For thousands of years, humans have engaged in many forms of what would be considered today as 'deviant' behavior. Its our 'culture' that deems natural behavior deviant. The exploits of ancient cultures like Rome and Greece are widely known, but hardly understood. The romans had orgies, like we have dinner parties. The greeks did the same. They even had a cult who's members went to parties and as a religious duty 'serviced' party goers. These weren't underground activities, they were the norm. In most cultures thoughout human history, it wasn't uncommon to witness people 'doing it' in the street, in plain view of passers by. It wasn't till the rise of the worship of the God of Abraham (Jews, Christians and Muslims all worship the same God) that $exuality became a 'sin'. Modern technology is setting people free from the repressive culture imposed on people from these religions. The 'tameness' indicative in the cultures of these religions over the last several hundred years is the sickness... $exual liberation just seems bad to those comfortable being repressed.
Just because all those people did it in the past history doesn't mean its right.
And just as the social mores of these times dictate that pornography is "wrong" does not mean it is universally right. Why must our period in time dictate the ultimate morality of issues that have pervaded human societies since the dawn of civilization?
Consenual activity is not an issue of right or wrong. It falls into the realm of "they're doing what they want so its none of your business". The fact you frame it as an issue of right or wrong proves my point...
Your first post did not talk about consensual activity. You were talking about how silly it was to assume that porn was driving men crazy. What i was going at is that if porn is actually wrong, and men believe it is okay or fine then maybe it is driving them crazy.
I am glad to see that you know your history. I wish more people were in touch with such knowledge. Yes, the guilt and shame attributed to sexuality expressed as a pleasurable activity via the "God of Abraham" has been an ugly mark of western civilization that still continues in some fashion to this day.
All women in the USA are sociopathic freaks that have Zero ability to express love – porn (as messed up and unrealistic it it) is the closest thing to it without compromise..
lol @ the clueless who think human evolution resembled a well-policed romance novel.
Nature doesn't care about what you think is fair, or who should be watching what. These notions of modern behavioral ideals are fantasies that never existed in reality or contributed to human evolution. You know what did? Slavery, rape, razing, looting, genocide, etc. And if you did all of these things well, history remembered you as "The Great".
If only people would spend more time actually living in reality instead of getting addicted to fantasizing ridiculous things in their minds.
Sounds like your a fan of Thomas Hobbes.
i spanked to your post
Forgive the length.. but this explains it all..
Why All Men Love Porn
Okay, I admit it. I exaggerated a bit with the title. Not all men love porn. There´s this guy in Lima, Peru who says he´s lost interest the last few months. But except for No-armed José, all us other guys love dirty movies. We simply adore them. Incomprehensible, isn´t it? On all other subjects related to men, you women readers, with your famous "intuition", claim to understand everything about us men and our pathetic biological urges. But on the subject of sleazy films you women always throw up your hands and pretend to be mystified. "How can you watch that disgusting junk?!?" you complain. "What´s wrong with you brutes?!?" you sneer.
As always you ladies misunderstand and underestimate us. We men, being splendid fellows in possession of enormous warm hearts, love porno simply because we like seeing other people enjoying themselves. (My wise old grand-father used to say that the reason most of you women close your eyes when you´re making love, is because you hate to see your husbands having a good time!)
Yes, we men love to see other men and women happily expressing themselves physically. Especially you women. To explain this generosity on our parts let me back-track a little here. Real life is often quite irritating for us men. In real life we have to screw up the courage to flirt with you women. We have to amuse you with our humour, impress you with our intelligence (or failing that, our success) so that you´ll accept a dinner invitation. And having gotten that far we know we still have quite a bit more performing to do, like some sort of circus poodle jumping through hoops, before we can get your knickers off. And once we do get you in bed we then have to risk our backs and our pride trying our best to perform like some sort of wild sex stallion from your imaginary Pony magaziner. And all in order to give you pleasure! This last point is crucial. Never never forget this one essential fact: No man ever feels happy or proud of himself unless he can give his woman the pleasure she seeks in bed. And we never think only of our own pleasure! Even the most sadistic rapist, I am sure, longs only to be appreciated!
Hard to believe, isn´t it, but true! No matter how much fun we men have had ourselves, no matter how awesome the orgasm we´ve experienced, the whole experience is a tragedy and a humiliation if the woman we´re with is left dis-appointed and frustrated. That´s why few men really enjoy sex once we get the chance to actually do it. When we´re actually doing it we´re too busy trying to remember what to do and what not to do, and when, and "is my deodorant dying on me right now?" and "why does she have to have such big hands? My joy stick looks like a lip stick in those huge mitts of her´s!" And what´s even worse, while all this is going on we´re also busy concentrating on images of Ann Coulter in a bikini order to fight off premature ejaculation! Yup, that´s God´s great joke on us. The more beautiful the woman we´re with, the more excited we become and the faster we orgasm and the greater the humiliation. And if you women think we men all envy the fellow who is sleeping with Claudia Shiffer, you´re wrong. No way! We know the poor bastard is desperately thinking of Margaret Thatcher the whole time he´s carefully pumping at Claudia!
Yes, sad to say, the only real personal pleasure we men get out of sex is the 5 seconds between finally getting your clothes off and seeing that "Yes! It´s not a trick! She´s actually going to let me do it to her! Halleluiah!" But then the five seconds have passed and – Damn! Now that we´ve finally been given permission, we´ve got to do it right! And into the breech we nervously sally, stiff upper lip (and less stiff other parts), smiling bravely and thinking of England!
That´s why we love porno. With porno we don´t have to watch some long drawn out Meryl Streep-horror story of some guy making a fool of himself writing cringing love letters, picking out the wrong flowers, spending tons of money in ridiculously expensive restaurants where the waiters treat the poor sap like he´s a leper – and all before he gets in bed with a woman who may neither be enthusiastic nor ultimately satisfied with him. In porno films the women are all wonderfully satisfied. (At this point I must admit I´ve never seen the more "advanced" forms of erotic films in which S&M occurs and women appear to be forced to do things against their wills. But knowing my fellow men like I do, I´m sure that even in these films the women stars all (pretend, of course, to) end up completely satisfied and grateful. Because if they weren´t satisfied and grateful there would be no happy ending!
Yes, that´s all we men want. A happy ending. And to be of service. In this respect we´re all over-grown boy scouts. If an old lady needs help crossing the street.. at your service! If an attractive woman desires tender but thorough intimate massage.. at your service!
But sadly, in real life you women tend to make this servicing difficult. Your genes, sensible little Nazis that they are, ensure that you must test us to see if we are sensitive, generous, patient, persistent, intelligent.. and most importantly – if we are strong enough to let you dominate us without running away. And admittedly, it wouldn´t be such an ordeal if we men had to go through this necessary but excruciating selection process once with every new woman. But you continue testing us as long as you know us! Every day you keep probing to see we´re still courteous, kind, clean, brave, honest and decent. In short, a boy scout! And a porno film simply shows us men the reward for passing all these strenuous tests. A happy woman. Yes, Jenna Jameson´s face may be all sticky in the end, but she always smiles with gratitude and satisfaction!
(At this point, the average reader is probably thinking sex, sex , sex. I´m sick of hearing about it, reading about it, seeing it in every ad. Enough is enough! But have patience and allow me point out something that almost everyone keeps ignoring in the current Sex Wars debate, ignoring as if it were a sad little embarrassment that hurts too much to be dealt with honestly: A Good Sex Life is the Foundation to a Couple´s Happiness. Yes, we all know that sex is not the most important thing in the world. (Personally I can get just as much enjoyment out of Chinese food.) But when something is wrong with a couple´s sex life, nothing else can be truly right. There can be no true intimacy, honesty or generosity. And to go a bit deeper into what is obviously a wide-spread problem, let me point out one terrifying fact: Sex was never designed to be satisfying! Quite to the contrary. The only reason we keep doing it is the vain quest for doing it right! And it´s painfully obvious that we´re not doing it right often enough to keep ourselves happy.
To better illustrate this point, one of the most revealing jokes that we men tell each other, is this one: "Because the average erect penis is 6 inches in length, and the average vagina is 8 inches in depth, there is always 5,000 miles of unused vajayjay walking around!"
Now we men all find this joke to be funny, but in a sad, ironical sort of way. Because we feel guilty. Because we know we haven´t been doing our jobs when it comes to satisfying you women sexually. And that we are failing to satisfy you, especially in long term relationships, is in no doubt. For one of the strangest media phenomenons of recent times has been the repeated stories in newspapers and magazines that we men have given up when it comes to satisfying you women, and that we have lost interest in sex. That we have given up trying may be partially correct, but that we have lost interest in sex is certainly a misunderstanding. For it is physically impossible for otherwise healthy men to ignore the prodding of our hormones. We are simply too strongly programed for that.
But we men are becoming increasingly reluctant to humiliate ourselves in order to get sex, simply because there are now substitutes available. Once again I think of the heaven-sent benefits of porno video films. Quite obviously one of the reasons that more and more men and women live alone, is that more and more men are unwilling to live with unpleasant women just in order to have a sex life. Admittedly a porno film utilized as manual catharsis may be a poor substitute for the real thing, but it does help a man retain both his sanity and his dignity, and in this respect single men are relatively lucky. Woody Allen´s joke that "masturbation is sex with someone you love," may be funny, but what is not is that researchers tell us that married men tend to masturbate more than single men do! Yes, it´s my unfortunate married brothers that I have the most sympathy for. For without exaggeration, 98% of the married men I know are desperately trying to keep their marriages together, both for their children´s sake and for their own, despite the fact that they all say that their wives have more or less lost interest in having sex with them, and have left them with a life of frustration and humiliation.
Now you women tend to respond to such a sad jeremiad in one of two ways. You either deny that it is true, with some kind of vague and absurd claims that married women in equal numbers are provided a starvation ration of sex by their husbands, and therefore such unhappiness is mutual.. so stop complaining! Or you say frustrated husbands deserve to be frustrated, and then your seemingly endless list is unrolled: lunk-headed hubby is not romantic enough, clean enough, gentle enough, helpful enough, imaginative enough, thin enough. In other words it is the poor sap´s fault and his alone.
But some wives, if pressed, will admit that their husbands are sufficiently romantic, clean, gentle, helpful, understanding, imaginative, thin, but that his desire for more frequent sex is still unreasonable. In other words, these women claim that their own desire for sex once every 14 days or more, is the correct desire, while their husbands´ desires are excessive. And it is here that we come to the crux of the problem: Men and women are generally out of synch with each other sexually – and we are programmed from the start to be that way!
To begin with, one of the main reasons we are out of synch with each other is that women are not governed by their hormones to strictly come into heat only periodically, as all other female mammals are. In other words men cannot tell by a mere sniff when a woman is sexually receptive, which means that we men must be primed and ready at all times for the opportunity to arise! And not only must we be primed and ready, we must be primed and ready with a fresh supply of sperm, for researchers now say that we men are programmed by our genes to get rid of old sperm through self-manipulation if necessary, so that we are always ready to make the best babies. And this constant hormonally induced readiness may add spice and excitement to our lives, but not a great deal of satisfaction. (So perhaps we´d all, men and women, be better off if we came into a sexual frenzy two weeks every July and mated hundreds of times with hundreds of partners, to the point of satiation and exhaustion, and then had the rest of the year to our-selves and to more dignified pursuits? Of course such a solution to our sexual problems would no doubt cause more problems than it would cure, but I don´t know about you but I´d be willing to try it. 50 weeks without a sexual thought.. what a heavenly relief!)
Another way we men and women are out of synch with each other is in our conceptions of monogamy and promiscuity. Most of you women say that mono-gamy is preferable because it emphasises loyalty. That monogamy protects our children better. But many of my married male friends complain bitterly that you women are nothing but sperm vampires. As soon as you have squeezed some children out of us your interest in sex with us dies, and can only be revived with a new man as our replacement. And absurd as it sounds, we men are more truly loyal than you women are. For no matter how much we men want to have sex with hundreds of other women, it is rare indeed that we lose all interest in sex with our wives (provided of course that she has not developed into a cruel personality.) In other words we men want our cake and want to eat it too, while you women want to hang on to your piece of cake long after you´ve lost interest in eating it.. but you don´t want anyone else to sample it, either.. until you´ve moved on to a new man. What a lovely form of monogamy! To you women´s advantage only!
No, we men and women ought to be honest enough to admit that neither men nor women should be blamed for the ways we prefer to behave sexually, for nature has programmed us that way. But when morality is brought into the equation I believe that there is no doubt that we men have a more moral attitude: that everyone should be more sexually generous, flexible and forgiving. Sadly, for the most part you women´s attitude is still "Concentrate exclusively on me for as long as I´m interested in you.. Then you can live like a celibate until I can replace you."
Is it any wonder that growing numbers of men prefer to live alone?
One final piece of advice to any men who happen to be reading this article: Never watch a porno film with a woman. Don´t do it! Instead of getting inspired, as is intended, women spend the whole time complaining, "Look at that ugly sofa.. and those curtains! ..and did you see her nails? You brute! How can you watch such rubbish?!?"
so what exactly are you saying?
Best comment on a article ever!!! Thanks Dexter. I 100% agree!!
Definition of MISANDRY
: a hatred of men
— mis·an·drist noun or adjective
I already watched tons of porn but now i am not crazy and addicted for it. People are crazy at specific time after that it vanish in the air!
http://yourbrainonporn.com/doing-what-you-evolved-to-do
facts.
That was a great article, but personally I think ready to super-stimuli is why life is good today.
ready access to, i meant to say.
Make sure you balance your opinions with publications from both sides of the argument. The website you linked appears to be affiliated with the Alcoholics Anonymous network. I have my personal reservations about that group of organizations, but that is for another topic. Nevertheless, I am glad to see articles published by PHD's rather than your ordinary joe. I will give it a more thorough evaluation in the coming days.
Yeah, porn drives us men crazy in ways that your average prude American woman fails miserably to do.
Not prudes. They are confused, unprepared and medicated (anti-depressants) to the point their libidos are gone.
Nope, they've been crazy all along...a good number of women are too.
Naomi, how are all those conspiracy theories you peddled and got rich off of working out?
Surprisingly well-argued, science-based article, considering where it appears. Nevertheless, the comparison to cocaine is excessive. Pornography is not physically addictive, only psychologically, and while 95% of Americans could not accurately define that distinction, this means the addiction is a LOT easier to break. Secondly, compulsive sexual behavior has been a recognized psychological diagnosis in some form since the DSM-III, this isn't exactly news; and before high speed connections to redtube there were massage parlors and bathouses and all kinds of disgusting things; at least porn won't make you bring home syphillis to infect your wife. The technological availability has impacted this in far more ways than just easy exposure, methinks.
Umm, what was scientific about this article?
"were anecdotally connecting the rise in pornography consumption among young men with an increase in impotence and premature ejaculation among the same population"
using anecdotal evidence is pretty much the least scientific method possible.
Also the evidence that does seem to exist would argue to a REDUCED libido from porn usage, yet she concludes that it increases risky sexual behavior?!?!?!?!?!?
Logic? Verifiable facts? Nope. No science here, just conjecture.
Guys spanking the monkey is not at all unusual. It gets watched because we all want a woman that at least seems to be enjoying herself. Too many times women seem to act as though it is such a chore or that it is supposed to be a reward for something. That, to me, seems akin to prostitution.
Queen Victoria is long dead, why do women hang onto her dour demeanor in western society? Asian women have no such equivallent in history and seem to be able to enjoy themselves much more freely.
It seems like we need the intervention of alcohol to loosen up our morality enough to allow us to enjoy the natural feelings that we keep pent up.
Relax, its only s3x.
"Too many times women seem to act as though it is such a chore..."
Beefburger, it's possible that you're not doing it right.
I'm soooooo tired of feminists decrying men as a subspecies of sex-starved, mindless beings. Ms. Watts needs to state her references instead of alluding to "studies in fill-in-the-country". There is no evidence that pornography is a drug, as she presents here, but there is plenty of evidence of western society's double morality concerning sex and pleasure. There is a current trend among anti-porn feminists now to decry pornography as the base of all evils in society, and their rhetoric is based on false information and shoddy studies without any reality what so ever - and all heaped into a generalization about men which is not only destructive to men, but to women's sexuality as well. Enough of the ALL MEN ARE SEX STARVED RAPISTS mentality. Women - free yourselves, and the rest will follow. Her thesis is akin to saying that if we give gays equal rights, then all of society would turn gay. Give people porn and no one would want to have sex? Puleeeeze. Even I know a pile of crap when I read it.
that's funny. go to mitworld and search for Learning to See in the Dark. (feminism is kind of old now. you might want to learn more about patriarchy. how men are taught to be over women and children and even other men if they are different than themselves and that *good* men are soldiers, and boys don't cry and all of those lies...before they even have a language. too much to write here. you will never regret reading the books. more of an update to how you are thinking there)
Feminists are prudes. They just don't get it; a little porn is titillating; too much is totally boring. Watching endless bedroom gymnastics, and men with perpetual erections is almost as bad as insomnia. Ask any man; porn is rarely ever satisfies, and in the main represents a unreal situations. Porn is a fantasy world where pimples on bums; rude noises or bad smells never exist. I suspect the author would support the growing number of women who watch porn; like all feminists we can't have men enjoying themselves.
i'm thinking we are past feminism now. that was about 40 years ago. we have moved on to democracy now...where we recognize that both genders were lied to in patriarchy and it was bad for all of us. go to mitworld video and search for Learning to See in the Dark. the books are better, but that's a start. pivot point for a lot of people.
blah blah patriarchy blah blah male domination blah blah lied to blah blah read this book and watch this video and you'll finally understand
seems like they over-analyze the same hormones and attribute everything to them. i would be willing to bet there are more hormones that have their fingerprints in there. is there a rise in erectile dysfunction? environmental? or just born with it?
it seems to be more acceptable for professionals to play in their spare time like that though. not necessarily acceptable, but you see it. same as always. people get bored and play with things that shock people. seems like there might be some of that going on. especially with professionals. they were all straight laced when they were younger and just think it's silly now. they want to live a little. (if they don't scare other people...it's not that big of a deal. rapists, pedophiles, and such are scary) but...it might mean they are past reproductive years and getting their life back...rather oddly, or figuring out that they really are in the wrong marriage. not sure what it means...probably different for everyone.
Yeah, it's Men that are going crazy, not the women you see killing off their offspring and dumping them in ditches..
"There is an increasing body of scientific evidence to support this idea"
[citation needed]
Data from the APA as well as the REDUCTION in violent crime rates (including rape) in countries with unrestricted internet since the 1990's support the opposing point of view. Please provide examples – oh that's right, I'm just supposed to "believe" you. You might have better luck targeting a religious audience since they will believe anything.
With my own experiments I'd have to say, this article is completely right. whats good at the beginning, isn't as good if you try it within a short period of time. but I'll say this to the people who think its impossible to stop one of the thoughest addictions for common people, it takes 1 month – 2 months max to get rid of the addiction (if you really want to get rid of it). But you have to know and be aware of what ALL the causes are, before you try stopping for good (and I mean all). Like ignoring the 'hot' images that make you want more and Fastly focusing on something else. If you look at a 'hot' image for longer then a few seconds, then you will be in the 'danger' zone of wanting more (and more).
Good luck!
It's WOMEN driving men crazy, and in more ways than the dirty picture thing...
Our modern world women are "Liberated" but still "Protected". Nice way to double the workforce to drive everyone's wages down then bombard women with propaganda they can escape it for a while if they backstab their husband divorce him say he moe-lested the kids...
Well, we have tons of men now who will never marry. They've seen how women ruined their best friends, their parents, etc. So sweet when marrying, getting married for a few years, then some pig hands the "Divorce Papers" and the man is kicked out of his own home, even arrested and the woman gets to leech off of him, neglect the kids, live in sin with a boyfriend/girlfriend when the man has to pay top child support. Oh, and at work they promote women and minorities with not 1/10th the qualifications or work ethic, just to stomp the man down.
Frankly, there used to be this cool site called " I N S E X" showing mostly college girls getting $ to undergo some rough BDSM. Loved the scenes with this oriental woman he'd make her wear a choke collar so her face was puffy and red and she could barely breathe and he'd have her on his lap doing her, her arms tightly tied behind so hard you'd worry about her shoulders and he was slapping her face and that last part was about the only thing that'd bring tears to the wench's eyes... Just one of those B-chy college girls who'll then go and write essays on how men are pigs and get a boy who asks her on a date thrown out for "Harassment" and stuff, but then more $ for tuition back to the BDSM studio... Bet she experienced more pleasure being the "Sub" than she'd ever have in RL with some girly man begging her for weeks to let him in bed with her or some idle fun with another woman.
Makes me really think. Like buy an old cargo boat, set up a living on one way out in the Pacific. Buy one (or more) cute ladies from a "Human Trafficking" operation. Fill one of the rooms with bondage gear. Man, just hearing her scream and beg as me and some friends drag her into the room...Mr reptile would roar from that alone!
Except that, frankly, some poor Rice Paddy girl sold by her impoverished parents for US$100 didn't do any thing to me, my father, my brothers, my friends. If you brought her back to the USA she'd love being a "50s wife" and think she was in the lap of luxury and with a man who'd not treat her like a punching bag like any man from her culture would. But, wait, the Jezebels would become her "Friends" while you were busy working for the both of you, then a few years later she'd serve you with divorce papers and claim you messed with the kids...
The problem IS the Women and I don't mean the "Film" ones. And whatever Illuminati, Elder of Zion, Reptile or whatever secret evil force that ruined our culture to Liberate/Empower women into these Jezebel dolls out to destroy real men...
I say if there's any chance for America we should set the divorce laws back to the 50s. Make no-fault divorce a crime, and if a woman ends a relationship she get sued for "Desertion" and gets to pay support herself. Make any charges of abuse of kids a criminal offense that is severely punished if found to be unfounded. If women get the breaks for jobs/promotions to fill "PC Quotas" they no longer need the protection of the past. We could never stop some Jezebel somewhere from walking out on a man to go for some crud of a man, but we could stop her from leeching off the producing working man and dragging the kids down with her.
any man dumb enough to marry deserves what he gets
Heh. Whoever wrote this article obviously does not have a penis. Here's a glimpse from the other side: it. just. isn't. that. complicated.
WWW is slowly transforming into WWM.
World Wide Masturbation!
Oh look a women wrote this
tits or gtfo
an angry over-educated under-sexed broad
I think this one-sided argument reads like a "Men Only" club. Porn is the symtom of a larger problem. Although the author brings up some neural issues that I agree with, let's not just place all the blame on the men. Your slight mention of women in this article causes me to have concern. 66% of women watch pornography. An opposite argument could be made for the way women dress, which is increasingly become more scantilly clad, which men see as an "invitation" to engage sexually. This is the non-verbal communication going on here. So in a sense, is it fair to say that a lot of women are 'rewired' to dress this way to attact what they most desire? All in all pornography steals the self-esteem of any individual and destroys relationships, families, and any normal social communication with the opposite sex. This works both ways. The only was to stop is for the individual to be deprogrammed by stopping the behavior completly. This takes a lot of self-control. Sex has always been a way to sizzle the synapse. So, what's the larger problem? Poor communication between the sexes, independent living, loss of family structure, people rather stay single than get married. There are a million problems that would cause a person to self-stimulat to the point of addiction. I'm not saying women should dress like the 1950's, but it would be a start to show less skin. Money, Power, and Greed are at the helm here too. Hollywood, Advertising, etc. all know what strings to pull in the cash. It really boils down to self-control. Also, our society has lost moral values that have now become corrrupted. Perhaps women who work out in gyms for hours and hours every day and wear next to nothing, so they can portray the images that big media throw at all of us is not helping the situation. Both sexes are to blame.
Let's boil it down to the essence: EVERYONE should be able to have sex with whoever, however and whenever they can mutually agree about it. Anything else is cowardly compromise and convenience. But porn balances out the fact that women do suffer more from unwanted pregnancies and VD than men do. Our sex lives are in a straight jacket of hypocrisy because sex IS dangerous.
Here we go again another artical buy a woman complaining about men. This is what happens when women watch too much Oprah.
Aw, let's give them that one.. they become better human beings. Better Oprah than Jerry springer..
better at what? at least jerry springer isn't a hypocrite.
have we forgotten that we are after all only animals?
horny dogs, indeed ...
First off, you are a woman, therefor you know nothing of the strife and hardship of male existence in recent American Life. I have never had the nerve or the audacity to write an article, let alone make so much as a comment, as if I had discovered the absolute truth and insight as to why men desire sexual conquest and confidence. NONE of YOU WOMEN have testicles or a penis, so STOP publishing and gossiping false assumptions or analysis of why men pursue the interests they do, or express themselves in the fashion that they choose. Women are not some holy and perfect creature that knows all, interprets all truths, or does no wrong. I have not seen a man even attempt to make ultimatum-like assumptions or analysis towards women in ANY of the major corporate news broadcasts. So, F***ing STOP attempting to be gurus & prophets of the reasons for male behavior, because, I promise you, you know NOTHING of the males most intimate reasoning, nor the motivations of man. STOP. WRITING. BULLS**T.
i got better idea...who gives a shit, what a waste of time this article is, in society there will always be a niche for those with a lower standard of living, occasionally those who don't normally frequent these associated actions will indeed, drop to that standard from time to time, be it for thrills, spills, arousal, excitement, whatever you call it, take Vegas for example.... you'll never be able to stop it, you'll never be able to fully understand it, it cannot have a label or single identifying factor, it is what it is, humanity.
So... what are you wearing? Details please... details.
Check out "An Affair of the Mind" by Laurie Hall. It presents the path that pornography takes in destroying the user, and shows how it damaged, nearly irreperably, the marriage of the writer. It also points to the solution. I am 3/4 through it, and its been dead on so far from my own addiction to such, recently broken after 10 years
One episode of Oprah was devoted to many women's lack of interest or diminished interest in sex.. and one amazing cure – a special cream with a secret ingredient. Oprah's guests said the cream worked like a miracle. Oprah then had her people send the cream to a lab for analysis. The secret ingredient? Something akin to Ben-Gay, a caustic chemical producing a burning sensation. I do not lie. These women were not able to distinguish between sexual arousal and a burning sensation.
So guys, the next time you go on a date, forget the flowers and take a bottle of Tabasco sauce.
Hilarity:
Women who have the notion that "men are not necessary" getting upset when they themselves get replaced.
You only need to go to a local bar and watch scantily clad women who dress just "for attention" walk by. 10 years ago, 50 guys would have turned their heads to stare at her. Now, you might see 3 heads turn. Because guys have evolved as they always have done in the past. And it is beautiful.
Also, thank you for the article. Well put, written, and researched.
/s
Men becoming desensitized to normal sexual stimulation from use of porn actually reminds of me drug addiction, which also results from permanent re-wiring of the brain's reward center. In fact, the parallels are striking and I bet if I were to go on pubmed to look up neuro articles right now, the mechanism may be the same. I couldn't care less about men who only use porn because it's not like they're going to reproduce with real human beings. I'm only interested in the science.
The title of the article is misleading though. It's not "crazy" but may result in irrational behavior due to the need to feed the addiction.
Then again it could be one of those chicken or the egg cases. Perhaps those with addictive personality naturally seek out hardcore porn and overuse it (many infamous rapists/kidnappers etc are known to be addicted to porn) or is it that porn is converting normal behavior into abnormal behavior?
C'mon, boys! she said there's a hole and it's got dope in it! We can **** it AND get high at the same time! lol...
This is the same theory as video games causing violence, guns killing people, and other ludicrous ideas like that. Porn doesn't make men crazy sexual deviants – men have always been crazy sexual deviants. Like since pre-civilization. Lots of primates engage in the act of rape (not condoning that, for clarification). It's hard wired into our brain. We're "civilized" because we can control our impulses to a degree. But nobody ever does it 100% of the time. As for the diminishing return theory, I don't feel that's true, at least in my case.
The reason behind the huge increase in public sexual scandal is nothing more than poor decision making and a massive increase in social media. The internet is the biggest rumor mill in the history of man. We voted them into office, watch them on tv, etc. Basic rule of life is that you don't do something if you can't pay the consequences. They paid them with their careers (mostly).
I agree that porn is harmful most of the time, but if a person chooses porn over their spouse, then porn isn't the problem. The problem is what motivates the choice that person made. It can also be a healthy and fun thing that a couple shares which can strengthen a relationship.
No, porn doesn't make men any crazier than we already were, and the author obviously has no perspective.
Considering the enormous increase in supply and demand, I think porn could result a scary as yet unknown effect on both men and women. But sexting???
Butt sexting...heh heh
She should have written an article of the effects of women ridiculing men in today’s time.... If I recall from art class, porn has existed since humanity was living in caves. They call it “fertility art” but it’s still porn.
I'm not surprised to see sensational type articles like this from Naomi Wolf, now that her soapbox Oprah is going down. Unfortunately people are tired of this sensationalist crap and are looking for more relevant discussions, but this is the only tool left in her toolbox. I'm pretty sure guys like Elliot Spitzer and Tiger Woods have been around well before video was conceived. Unfortunately Wolf doesn't have much to offer in today's world. I'm getting pretty tired of CNN promoting this fluff, I think I'm switching to Reuters.
Actually, you'll be back here tomorrow to comment on a Lady Gaga story
Nah, I've had enough. The government, after the largest two booms in the history of civilization is in 14 trillion of debt, 7x what the tax income is. We have bigger problems in the world, and authors like Wolf are taking our eye off the ball. No one is doing their job for the country, they're only in it for themselves.
Oh please. Sex stopped being interesting soon after I got married. I now occasionally watch porn, but its more like a distant memory of a subject that I have probably moved beyond by now. It is not porn which is bad, being married is bad. It's the way to go to spoil a good thing.
In economics, we have the concept of "sunk costs." Basically, it says don't throw good money after bad. So you made a mistake and married some b1tch. Don't add more unnecessary expense by staying married. Divorce the b1tch and get your mojo back. Life is short.
Well, this article is a big disappointment. You rely on loosely related recent events to give weight to your assertions. That is not science, madam. It's like those claims that the latest floods make Nostradamus' predictions true. Did you check with the deviants in question whether they were or not addicted to porn themselves?
you are not a scientist, your are phony!
Porn isnt driving anyone crazy. It isnt making men go out and rape, it isnt making men show off thier junk online or by phone. In fact, I would say the opposite. If not for porn there would be alot MORE violence out there. What do you think is keeping unemployed men from shooting men with jobs? What is stopping men who cant get laid from going out and raping the first chick they see? What is preventing sane men from actually realizing how much their life sucks and that they must be in danger of losing their minds if they dont get out of the house? PORN. Its the only outlet for those of us that dont have anything. So get off your high horse. Rich guys get caught doing dumb shit cause rich guys are dumb shits. Has nothing to do with porn.
If guys get desensitized by watching porn over and over again, why aren't guys also getting desensitized by having sex over and over again with the same woman (their wife)? That form of desensitization has been going on, or 1,000's of years.
More pop-psychology journalistic drivel with key words like "anecdotal evidence" and a complete lack of any quality empirical, peer-reviewed attempt at objective (albeit impossible, though most researchers strive for it) and non-biased data to support hypotheses. Enjoy the paycheck Naomi Wolf =) This sort of stuff gets the forums abuzz with web traffic cash.
This is the most sexist article I've read in a long time. Women enjoy pornography and erotic material just as much as men do. The author may want to read up on the subject first and look at the statistics before writing about it.
you boast about this? you talk as if this is something glorious? yea, I bet you neglect your children too, don't you Jessica? or are you some dumb 15 year old girl out on summer vacation with nothing important to accomplish this Friday.
She just needs a paycheck like everyone else. CNN pays her to troll and she did a fine job. It's all about pulling traffic.
how can "porn drive men crazy". I thought women invented it.
I love porn, and while I agree I've been slightly "desensitized," it's not like that's a bad thing. Hell, when I was 13 I would bust a nut over the possibility of seeing a boob, didn't even have to actually see them! Now I have difficulty getting off without some sort of visual stimulation, usually, but again, I feel like that's pretty normal for my age.
Another thing- I love to masturbate, seriously. I'm 30, I have a girlfriend of 3 years and we have an awesome sex life, but I still like to masturbate on occasion. It's kind of a "quick fix" for me, because obviously it is pleasurable, and trust me it's a hell of a lot faster and easier than sex most of the time.
Problem is that my girlfriend does not like me looking at porn or masturbating...which I think is a little much, and it forces me to sneak around a little to do it. She wanted me to promise I would not do either when we moved in together- I had to tell her a little white lie. Seriously, why do girls think that guys can just stop masturbating if they aren't getting sex on a very regular basis?
It doesn't drive men crazy. Women, on the other hand seem to be driven crazy by a partner who watches porn...which is just kind of lame (that it makes them insecure and upset, not that watching porn is lame). People like the author also give rise to the idea that all women hate porn. We really, really, really don't....although most women I know lie about their porn habits.
You think men are the root of all evil? Think again. Every man born on this world came from a woman. That means that even if she died at birth and was unable to raise him, he at least had to spend 9 months connected to her. a son is a product of what a woman allows in her own conscious. Women are entirely to blame for every single problem we see in the world today.
..uh.. aren't you exaggerating just a tad..?
You think men are the root of all evil? Think again. Every man born on this world came from a woman. That means that even if she died at birth and was unable to raise him, he at least had to spend 9 months connected to her. a son is a product of what a woman allows in her own conscious. Women are entirely to blame for every single problem we see in the world today.
Take Barack Obama for example. He came as a result of a dirty disgusting american wh*re that traveled to Africa for the sole purpose of stimulating her evil fantasies.
Now, we have Obama.
Thanks dumberica
Can you really not detect any vile and disgusting elements in your nature??? Or do you enjoying casting the first stone?
Grow up and take responsibility.
Let us not objectify stupid behavior with a Twinky defense: the porno made me do it.
There is a certain profile of people who are predisposed to positions of influence: they are egoistic and risk-taking.
Unfortunately, sometimes when they enjoy early success, they begin to overestimate their infallibility. They'll never catch me; I'm too smart. I'll never get caught. I haven't been caught before.
But the flaw is, that with increasing success comes increasing visibility, which in turn enhances the likelihood of being caught. And they fail to incorporate that factor in their decisionmaking process. That's why they do it.
Interesting. But surely you are focusing too narrowly on a single topic to explain the rash of indiscreet idiocy in people. For one thing, look at the (perceived?) increase in female teachers abusing their teen charges. SO it is not just men. There are many factors that are likely affecting the patterns of sexual behaviour in the world today. Look at other countries, where rape is now commonly used as a tool of war. Our perception of ourselves as worse than previous generations is actually not accurate. We aren't as bad as we think we are.
dave are you yet 13 years of age? what are you doing up so early?
Why do you think the first woman on earth to eat the forbidden fruit had the name "Eve"?
EVIL
Now now.. I'm sure even you would be willing to admit there have been no female Hitlers, Pol Pots, Attila the Huns.. nor any Stalins or Jeffrey Dahlmers in all the lost history of the world. Women are annoying at worst..
no female Hitlers? are you kidding? Hitler had a wife who was FULL AWARE of what was going on, all the deaths, destruction. She, in my opinion, was equivalent if not worse. Get your head out of the sand. Wake up.
That men do monstrous things to impress women is not womens' fault. But it might be helpful if they were a bit easier to impress..
Good job. You just justified the holocaust.
It is unfortunate that God did not make a partner for women. Men like women, but women don't like men all that much. We men certainly know that. It is told to us often enough.
Porn is a fast, cheap, easy way to enjoy a fast blast of dopamine. It is also a real money maker for the people who produce it. Scolding men for viewing porn isn't going to change that.
Umm, sorry to burst you bubble but women do like men. Don't try to turn your own personal life experience into some erroneous fact. I kind of feel sorry for you. Don't worry, the right woman might come a long for you some day.
stop lying albert. women never loved men and never will. people like you are what give men the false perception that they must succeed in life, in order to eventually meet their dream woman who will *never* come.
guys, don't waste your time. women are what society preaches. nothing but wh*res
Albert, I'm saying that while women are attracted to men, they don't like a lot of male behavior. They try to retrain their men and make them into something else. What women want are those romantic hunks from those novels they read.
women want slaves. that's why they watch gay porn. wake up, morons.
there is nothing romantic about a woman. she just enjoys getting reactions out of you and holding you on a string.
Porn just like other drugs, is for the weak minded.
weak leaders foster weak civilians.
women are the reason Jesus was crucified.
FOREVER ALONE
They absolutely LOVE articles like this... just look at Jessica's post for example. The only thing she could possibly think of to utter out of her dirty spirit was a mere pathetic cry: "I can touch myself too!!!!" as if disappointed in the fact all the attention is not on her. Ironically, in porn, all attention is on either the product of an abomination, or simply, an abomination.
are you kidding me, the whole world is sex. mass population increase, overcrowding, way woman dress etc proves it better than anything. seriously without sex and the release it provides the world would be a seriously boring place. and there's nothing wrong with porn, it just enhances the experience. I've been watching pron extensively since 14, now 30 and I have no problems ever performing with the ladies.
I pray every day for it.
If that is truly what you pray for, then I would question the God that you pray to (Satan). The loving God of the Bible on the other hand says to pray for your enemies. Also, I am guessing when you say "Hell", you are taliking about erternal torment in fire. That is not taught in the Bible. The teaching comes from Pagan customs and Greek mythology.
God never threatened Adam & Eve that they would burn forever. Job prayed to go their (Hell), and Jesus was their. Look up the Hebrew and Greek words for Hell (Hades, Sheol), they literally mean the grave. When a person dies they are just that, dead. Not conscious of anything no thinking no anything. Dead.
this seems to be the new thing going around huh? satan hard at work I can see. you're completely misinformed and deluded. eternal hell fire is real and the day will come that you will cease contending with the fact, it will be plainly obvious. I waste my time debating it. Rather, I should spend my time hoping you fall into it because you are a disgusting joke of a Christian if you deny the fact that eternal hell is real.
The author of this article does have a point. Using porn for sexual satisfaction conditions a man to do it again. The use of port is always rewarded. It's like chocolate. If you eat some, you want to eat some more. I speculate that there are men who get out of bed where their wives are sleeping and go to the computer to look at a picture of a naked woman in a bed.
I think the romance industry is doing to women what the porn industry is doing to men. Romance novels and romantic movies train women to want a being who looks like a man but who is not a man. He does not have a man's brain or a man's spirit. He behaves unlike any man any where. The romance industry trains women to want someone who simply doesn't exist.
i dont think porn is driving men crazy i dont think its right either. women have had an oppresive monopoly on sex for generations. they decide everything men have no imput. Women luagh about it. cause they figure nothing would ever disturb the status quo. till now. Porn is a womans worst night mare. Cause it has chipped away and cut away at the monopoly. no nothing takes the place of having sex with a woman. but porn does chip away at the need and desire of being with one. and thats why so many men use porn. And women wether they admit it or not know. that porn is a serious threat not them, but there monopoly. they have felt it by now....
ron, women are even more evil than this. they are using porn to cheat on men now, because most of them watch gay porn these days. out of pure jealousy.
but it's going to back fire on them as it ALWAYS does.
Exactly. Preach on brother!
If it were not for women, Jesus would be sitting on His Throne in Jerusalem.
I saw Jesus sitting on his throne. He was reading the comics. Then he wiped and flushed.
I think there is a fine line her. Porn does offer men an outlet for sexual expression if they are not married or married to a woman with a low to nonexistent sex drive.
I do believe porn sets men up for unrealistic expectations from women. Most women (I'd estimate 80 – 85%) have a low sex drive and would not be willing to do what many of those women in porn films do. I'd say 15 – 20% of women have a sex drive that if promised some money and or some drugs or alcohol will do what many women do in porn films.
This sets up unrealistic expectations in men.
Now if the partners of married men and men in committed relationships would try to understand a man's sex drive I think a lot of this would be avoided. The average woman doesn't understand or want to understand a mans sex drive. Of course you will always have those men who are collectors one woman, one car etc. is never enough.
as long as the Spirit of God is in a man, woman shall NEVER have dominion over him.
@ Ron Jeremy & Peter North.....
...I'm in, let's tap THAT shit!
For every man that cheats on his wife, there is a woman to support it.
That is correct – I had two girlfriends at once – OH mama! very NICE – both had nice big asses and big tits n i c e chickas!
I want TWO chicks! One a thick voluptous six foot blond. The other a brunette! The can both beat the crap out of me and do what ever they want – hahahaaha
Porn is beautiful,one of the greatest inventions of our time.I first started watching porn in 1999 and have never turned back,such a nice form of creativity.It enables us to digitize our fantasies and live in some world away from reality.You have to disengage porn from reality and look at it as a way of playing with our fantasies
Its is clean,requires no commitments and it is mainly safe.Just be careful not to be hooked to it and watch it occasionally, maybe once daily.Live out your fantasies,escape reality and enjoy life.
WOMEN ARE SOOOOOOO AWESOM – I HOPE YOU KNOW HOW AWESOM ALL YOU CHICKS ARE – NICE LOUCIOUS BABES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Porn is not driving men crazy. Its women that do that and pron is a great escape. This article should be titled "Why porn is better than the real thing!"
Ways porn is better and the reason some men spend so much time watching it:
1. The girl in the movie never has a headache.
2. She will pretty much let you do anything to her in the movie.
3. I don't have to talk to her when the video is over.
4. I get to choose a different girl simply by browsing the video gallery not have the same one every night.
5. I don't have to pay the girl in the video, but I pay my everything I have for the real thing in one way or another.
6. Porn can't give me AIDS
7. Porn won't go out and sleep with my best friend when I'm away and if he did watch the same video, who cares?
8. Porn does not have issues, so I don't have to make it call me daddy.
9. The girl in the video does not mind when her friend comes over unexpectedly to join in.
10. The girl in the video does not care I am watching or what I look like or how much money I have.
I could go on and on. Maybe if some of the women who are so scared of their men watching porn would do so themselves we would be having more actual sex. Men will never stop watching porn or looking at dirty pictures, its in our DNA. No amount of wishing or complaining will change that. It is most certainly not to blame for infidelity, the individual is.
Porn is not reality and it's destroying lives. Check out the powerful testimonies of former porn-actresses at the Pink Cross Foundation (http://thepinkcross.org/).
Why should the "testimony" of former wh0res who did p0rn to support their drug habits before turning to religion have any credibility with thinking people?
LOL Porn is going to cause the world to end!!!! OH NOZ!!! OMFGZ!!!!
and it will back fire in due time. because we are trying to integrate digital worlds with non-digital.
get a girlfriend clueless
Actually, you have it backwards. The analog world is more of an illusion, whereas, the digital world is more flexible, open-ended, logical and malleable (i.e. engineered). The digital world will swallow the analog world just like Seka used to swallow John Holmes' loads.
ummm no i am loving it
It doesn't make sense that Porn business is legal, but Prostitution is illegal.
Either both should be legal or both should be banned.
P0rn is legal because performers are paid for being filmed doing something, not paid to have s3x, which is illegal. Prostitution is illegal because there is an exchange of money for s3x, which is illegal. The loophole is escorting which is when women are paid for their TIME and then whatever happens during that time is between two consenting adults. This is why escorts don't discuss sex directly with potential clients (they could be undercover cops) and the john is expected to leave the money in an envelope someplace in clear sight where she can discretely pick it up before the fun starts. If you tried to directly hand an escort money, she'd probably hand it back and walk out. Google "the erotic review" if you want further information.
TIE ME TO THE BED AND SMOTHER ME WITH YOUR BIG KNOCKERS CHICKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT TWO CHICKS TO WRESTLE EACH OTHER WITH ME IN THE BED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BLOND VS BRUNETTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just my opinion, but I think that most men are not as affected by porn as the "research" shows. I watch porn a few times a week and it enhances my sex drive. My wife and I watch porn together sometimes and it also enhances our sex life. I think people are to hypersentive to the Anthony Weiner's of the world. This article is just a thinnly veiled support piece for censorship.
BIASED ARTICLE. Next time, discuss women's role in pornography, particularly the camwh@re revolution where there are no "males" producing the content to exploit them (you femanazi you).
It's an opinion piece, you moron, of course it's biased, to which you have added nothing of value.
Females eagerly exploit themselves the easiest way possible because they understand they have one essential economic value.
I run a sexual addiction recovery ministry in Seoul, South Korea and I see this all the time. This is a great article that really captures the neurological effects of pornography on people's brains. Many will say that recovering from sexual addiction is the greatest challenge of their lives, partiallydue to the fact that an addict simply needs to fantasize about an image, movie, or experience to get their dopamine rush.
http://www.sibckorea.org/index.php/get-connected/ministries/sexual-addiction-recovery/
Korea is a nation of fundamentalist Christian wackos and cults and is the birthplace of Rev. Sun Myung Moon. Your "clinic" is just a front for pushing fundamentalist, religious propaganda. Take it back to Korea and keep it there.
Men believe what they are taught by other men. God has already deemed man a man. In their obvious ignorance in still trying to obtain manhood, they seek validity through women, instead of through their Creator – God. The teaching and following of Gods word is what develops anyone into a mature, wholesome person, let alone a man. Gods word develops character and goodness, whether you are a male or female. Men chose to indulge in women, simply because they prefer to walk in this world by sight and instinct, versus through faith and obedience to God. Thus men are not becoming men, they are simply becoming "lust" by-products. Fainty..quick to lie down at the first hint of "lust". They also do not realize that lust is no different than a headache. It is an uncomfortable feeling and should be suppressed, not built up. Faith is what is suppose to be built upon, which builds menly men, not whimpy whores (whether you are a man or woman).
Shut the hell up.
Women have NEVER, EVER cheated...never. I love the hypocracy of equal rights. Women like this writer want equal treatment except when it is inconvenient. If you look at statistics women cheat on men as much if not slightly more than vice versa. Usually when they do cheat, other women sympathize by saying, "she must not have been getting enough attention at home" or "she must have been unhappy in her relationship". When it is a guy it is because he is the devil. If you want equal rights it extends far beyond the perks.
I am not defending anybody who cheats man or woman. If you want to mess around stay single. Just don't point a finger at one gender while dismissing the other's transgressions.
What about women who view porn? Why aren't I addicted to it? Why aren't I desensitized sexually in regards to my partner? Why do these things supposedly happen to men, but not women? I guess the answer would be, "There was anecdotal evidence to suggest that male and female brains and sexuality are just total opposites." Sounds alot like saying I can only make love one way... that I can only be a woman ONE WAY: do you hear the gunshot? That's when my beloved feminist sisters shoot themselves in the foot.
Um excuse me ms hotness but could I ask you out on a date louscious lady – smochie smochie – I will buy you a tedy bear kiss kiss!
Ashley, I think the reason they reference this as effecting mostly men, is because men will have difficulty getting aroused after viewing intense porn for too long. For a man, this means not getting hard so his impotence is obvious. For a woman, the same thing might happen, but she is still able to participate, even when un-aroused. So her impotence goes undetected and therefore not reported on. In simple terms, women can fake it, men can't.
Total horse hockey..... I've watched so much porn since the age of 15. I should be blind and have wolfman hands by now and I still get a stiffy at the slightest hint of a nipple and lay pipe EVERY chance I get.
nonsense, a) people in positions of power have always been abusive, se xually and otherwise, it has nothing to do with porn b) this sort of shame response is part of the problem, in that it's the attitude that causes the prob;em NOT the po rn. and shouldn't we be curbing violent videos/games etc not se xually oriented stuff? also encourage people to be more se xual and se xually open and all this pron becomes much less a problem
This is a great article. Pornography is indeed a very destructive drug.
Yeah it is driving us crazy. It drives us crazy that women don't look or perform as well as they do in the movie.
Ironically, neither would the women in the videos if money weren't involved. Money makes most girls wet, not the thought of being penetrated by some random dude. Now if he were magically able to transform himself into a pair of new shoes, she might actually get very excited by that.
Well I can't find a beautiful, young partner (that will forever stay beautiful and young) so porn does the trick for me. Although it is true you shouldn't overdo it and let it become desensitizing to you.
When you look at the nude body of a man ,it really is not the most beautiful to look at ,so porn for women no way....men... get a life and grow up!
jealousy, such a sad emotion.
Your role in society is to be the satisfier, not the one satisfied. Remember as you get fatter and dumber in Ohio.
Truth be told, there are so many stupid, throw-away people on this planet, I'd rather they get jobs doing what I guess they think they do best (get fucked) than enter the normal workforce. Fortunately, I can fuck and have a completely separate, successful career. Unfortunately, its going to really suck in 15+ years when all the fuck-fodder starts getting old and sagging and their rectums don't have anymore muscle control and they're going to have to actually work... that's when we're all screwed.
I live you chicka – you are awesom!
I love you chicka – you are awesom!
Nah, they'll just create a new genre. There are already guy beating it to pics and vids of grossly fat, ugly old women. The drive for novelty is insatiable.
Also, tits or GTFO
The fact is women are far superior to us dudes in awesomness and therefore anything that allows women to show off is totaly awesom and HOTTT!
My E.D. isn't caused by porn, it's caused by a medical problem. Of course, my wife thinks the "medical problem" is MY blood pressure, but really it's HER obesity.
Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
Seriously b!tches just shut up and take it. If you don't let your hubby use you at least once a year, you're doing it all wrong. Have a few shots of something and give him something that doesn't cost a thing. Men don't be afraid to show your gratitude. Also, get off your phat haunches and lose a few. If she won't give it up nice, someone else will.
Women want to be treated soft and respectful but all they do is yap and complain. Men want to feel like studs and use all orifices forcibly but they sit on there backside and pound buds in front of the TV while eating pork chop sandwiches. People are funny. Simple. As for my final conveyance of incredible wisdom...doesn't matter how bad A she is or what she does to flip your trigger, someone, somewhere is already tired of her crap.
Really? whatever happened to 'self will' and 'self control'?
"Be careful little eyes what you see"
Man must learn to possess intergrity to find satisfaction in making his only woman happy and practice it as his second nature, and feel disgust about himself in breaking that standard in anyway. Man must find this is the issue of the God-given honor as a man, nothing else. Men, don't degrade yourself miserably with earthly garbages and look up to the sky. You were created for something much better than your weakness and greed. Recover your honor by turning back to Jesus.
well said truth
This article is about technology, not primitive superstition.
What does a bronze-age Jewish rabbi who was executed by the Romans have to do with p0rn? Oh wait, you're a Christian, I thought I was addressing someone who possessed some intelligence. Nevermind.
Your comment is so brilliant. It has actually redeemed humanity from all the senseless banter that is written in response to these articles. Who are you?
What's new about this?
2012 can be the intersection of our spirituality, the technology is advancing fast but our spirituality advance is much slower, if we do not catch up there is a great chance of chaos, remember one sentence and it can change everything: Do not do to others what you do not wish to be done to you….its simple, available and we just need to do it. All in the sensational book at TheDimensionMachine DoT Com
Porn is a simple outlet that is easier than dealing with the Western "princesses" that our society has produced. I am 40 years old and can tell you that at my age, most men that have been married, some multiple times, have grown tired of the incessant unrealistic demands, materialistic, and in general, completely childish manner most women act and react today. On top of that, the level of flat dishonesty and infidelity seen in today's "woman" makes having a true relationship almost impossible. Women don't know their feelings, but yet we are supposed to know? Women don't know what they want, they just know they want it. Then when they are given what they think they want, it is simply never good enough. There is no way to "win" in that situation. So, men would rather turn to porn than deal with the impending negativity of trying to have normal sex with a woman. Its honestly that simple. Nothing more and nothing less. Its a sad day when men would rather turn to porn than have any dealings with spoiled, overweight, materialistic, unrealistically demanding women. (I am not saying all Western women are this way, but in general, we have propagated the "princess syndrome" and are now paying for it.".
Foreign girlfriends (not mail-order brides) are the solution to the princess syndrome.
Once again we have a female trying to figure out a man's brain. It only took the first couple of paragraphs to realize that. Me being a male know ABSOLUTLY NOTHING about how the female brain works (and believe me I've tried). Therefore, women know ABSOLUTLY NOTHING about how the male brain works. You can see the outward results but you really don't know. This is another "all men are dogs" attitude. I get enough of that at home. Give me a break!
Who pays for porns anyways these days?
This addictive nature of chasing a feeling that causes problems in the life of men has been down played to be a natural accurance for men, but in fact it is a lack of discipline caused by the regular viewing of the using of another individual to our delight with ammunity to the effect of how these behaviors of selfishness effect another with no cause and effect, until exposed in the here and now by the obsessive selfish actions of treating another human being at a lesser value than oneself. sad but true
the way some celebrities lead their lifes for example charlie sheen, and have people follow him on tweety as some kind of hero... and youre blaming porn ? lol
how many girls and guys get caught on their webcams doing weird stuff ? i would say its this whole need of people to expose themselves to everyone on the internet through facebook and etc. isnt really because of porn, since most singers with oversexualised videoclips target 14 year old audiences and its ok because it sells.
eitherway if you are gona criticize porn, why not criticize violence, its ok for a tv show to drive a chainsaw through someone, but its blasphemy if skin is shown... hippocrites -_-x
It is n ot the "drug" that causes the addiction. It is the users attitude and behavior (using) that causes the addiction. There are deeper underlying issues. America is a sick society. We think we're supposed to feel good all the time, everyday, forever. If you're a little depressed see a doctor. They have a pill for that. Look at the skyrocketing use of porn. Look at the 30,000 Mexicans we've killed importiing drugs from the south. A sick society of sick people. And we wonder why they hate us.
America is sick because we are constituted from the world's people (i.e. the melting pot). We pursue what the world wants: happiness. Not saying our strategies or goals are good in that regard, but it's hardly particular to American culture. You'll find more greed, corruption and stupidity in a lot of other countries. In short, it's a species-issue, not a national one.
"You are all diseased."
-George Carlin
Judging from all the bitterness displayed here one might think that God re-gifted us with sex.. perhaps His playful brother-in-law gave Him sex as a joke and the miffed Lord passed it on to us?
For with sex often comes unwanted pregnancies, death in child-birth, venereal diseases. And if we can't get sex we murder each other in frustration and to get attention.
Internet commenting is just our pitiful substitute for the ultimate creation.
knowone wants to talk to me : (
@Haha, Jesus loves you. Use your intelligence a bit more. You have it.
Man, won't you feel like a fool if that person uses their intelligence to find the two conflicting creation myths, the two conflicting ancestry of Joseph myths, the blatant historical inaccuracies in the Christ myth, the various conflicting versions of the Bible, and so on...
Man, remember every girl was born to be loved and cherished by one honorable man for a lifetime, never to be exploited by you. Every girl deserves to be protected by one soldier's life. In the light of that, think about what evil you are doing by entertaining yourself with porn. Don't degrade yourself. You don't need to. Live with grief instead of making yourself worthless. Life has many components. Ask God for help.
Don't try to force your religion on me, you ignorant savage.
listverse dot com
/2008/05/26/top-6-incestuous-relationships-in-the-bible/
The answer is YES YES YES, Porn should not be legal but if it is, it should be behind closed doors. Free porn is accessible to any person with a computer including a child and that is not right. IF you're going to have this stuff, have it behind secure websites that do not show any images until that person authenticates his age with something like a credit card. Now kids and everyone else can get to anything.
There are many things that create a dopamine response. Being naughty is high on the list. The more you make something naughty the desire you create for it.
No, frigid wives drive men crazy.
Nothing new in this article – a whole lotta wives could have written it 30 years ago. Guys who are into P*rn are just not that into their partner – sex just takes on a different meaning for them. It becomes all about them. I've seen half a dozen marriages fail because of this...our church even hosts a 12 step program now. As soon as we started posting notices about it, and word got out to the community, men from across the gamut of life starting filing in – knowing they were in bondage, but helpless to do anything about it.
All it means is that wives have a harder time using sex for leverage. Some women can't bring themselves to be the one to initiate sex after marriage, perhaps they should learn. Very few men will take porn over real sex, IF their partner is sexually attractive, and that does not just mean physically.
The bondage of these men is being dragged to church by a frigid, sanctimonious wife for the crime of wanting their s3xual needs met.
Everything in moderation.
I don't think porn makes people crazy. Covering table legs because they are too provocative, now that's crazy.
..at last.. some sense and moderation..
If porn is so addicting and desensitizing, why isn't the same thing true of sex? And of course I know that there are sex addicts out there. But this article makes it sound like every other man is hooked on porn.
Most of the scandals mentioned in this article involve married men. Maybe it wasn't porn that desensitized them and hooked them, maybe it was a healthy sexual relationship with their spouse? Maybe being married and having sex regularly is what desensitizes these men.
It's the pervasiveness of sex in our culture, along with the instant ways technology has given us of making stupid mistakes and making them worldwide and instantaneous. Aside from that, porn is secretly watched by far more men than you realize, so along with the dopamine fix, add to that the feelings of guilt for doing something you didn't really want to do as well as fear of getting caught.
Men want and need novelty and variety. Marriage and monogamy does not provide for that.
pornography is definitely a high strung drug. Who what have thought being married still didn't stop masturbation.LOL!!!!!!!!
Sexless Marriage is driving men crazy. Ladies, if you dont want your man to cheat, give up some of that poosay.. just sayn.. i know, i just got out of a sexless marriage and it made me think of sex a hella of a lot more than I did when I was getting it.
I assure you that it is. Just like everything else in America; we have crossed the thresehold. We just cannot seem to leave 'the otherside' alone in America. This very reason is why we have and will continue to fail. We have no discipline. Its as simple as that. The majority of you will try to tell me that I am full of crap; thats just so you can make yourself feel good about what you are doing. It does not matter if we are talking porno or government; we have lost our way people and will now pay the price. It is already happenning and has been for sometime now...
And the price being paid for porn is what?
On a darwinian level the fact that women are worried about men and pornography is based on a fear that strikes deep into female psyche. It is a natural fact that women use their affections, both physical and emotional, to get males to do things that they can't. It's no wonder they are concerned if males can get their "fix" from p0rn. It weakens their ability to negotiate. As the "alpha male" in a house full of females I have long since come to the realization that "I live to serve" – meaning that on a darwinian basis now that I have spawned successfully several times my only use is to provide and protect. Read Richard Dawkins "The Selfish Gene".
No, on a Darwinian basis, your raison d'etre ends right after you ejaculate. You have no obligation to her whatsoever on a Darwinian basis. Most women end up raising their own broods, married or not, relationship or not. Actually, aside from the economic benefits, most women don't want the guys around after they "donate," because they want full control in the decision-making surrounding their kids and seek to be the main object of their kids' love, not having to compete with a "father". In short, they believe the kids are "theirs" not "yours".
Is the over-education of women driving them crazy?
Women should not be allowed to pursue higher education. It diverts blood away from their uterus to supply their over-analysing brain and leads to infertility. Why do you think it's mostly white, college-educated women lined up outside the fertility clinics? It's not the uneducated girls of the ghetto...think about it.
This is the best article on this issue that I have read. Very well done. I think more men need to admit that pornography is a problem and its wrong. All I can say is the people who have found themselves in the grip of its shame, we know its destruction the rest of you are in some fairytale land so consummed by it you can't even write a decent response without being highly sexual and out of control. Don't give me any bull about I'm the moral police the fact is pornography sucks the life out of you, ruins relationships, and destroys marriages. I love sex but I also believe in boundaries and I love and honor marriage. Don't tell me you can look your wife in the eye and tell her you love pornography! If you can do that not feel guilty, you are sick and need help!
why?
Sounds like your wife took away your p0rn. My condolences.
porn is the cure for sexless marriage!
...and all this time I thought it was h00kers and gin
Naomi, as long as you look at men through "scientific" data you will never understand them.
Actually, if she used actual scientific data and not conjectures she just might.
I think behind closed doors she has an big, dark dude with a GED-level education telling her what to do. This is her outlet she has to blow off some steam against white guys when she's not wearing the dog collar at home with an ashtray and martini on her back and she's on all fours.
Porn is a big problem, but not the only one. Society today is absolutely obsessed with sex. It's on billboards, in magazines, ads, the way clothes are cut...and children are exposed to this. I think people in the past controlled themselves better because it wasn't pervasive, so in-your-face. I strongly believe that a lot of problems today, including sex addiction, child molestation, cheating on your spouse, and the high divorce rate, are all directly attributable to the pervasiveness of "sex" in our culture.
^Puritan. I think there are witches to burn somewhere around here too.
No Robert, you are wrong. Only in Judeo-Christian societies do people share your perception. Countries that don't shove Bibles in your face and teach people that s-e-x is nasty don't have people like yourself crying while they beat the bishop.
Maybe it all boils down to this: When you meet a woman, develop a relationship, become intimate, have episodes of wonderful soul-stirring ecstatic sex, she neither promises you overtly nor more subtlety that the fantastic life-affirming sex will continue forever and to the same intensity. She doesn't make that promise and neither do you. But you both hope for it. And when it doesn't turn out that way, is it really enough to say to either part, Oh, grow up. Learn to make do with less. Life is not about ecstasy. It's not about the most exciting thing in all our universe – the act of procreation. Settle down to a hum drum life. Accept an anemic existence.
Fuck that! Fight back.. go for the gold in life. Nobody ever felt happy aiming for the bronze medal. No sane relationship can be built around a listless hand job once a month. Convenience is the only logical reason for staying with someone who doesn't excite you or is not excited by you any more. Porn delays the inevitable..
Females are mad because they can't use sex as a manipulative tool anymore. If they want to tell you "No more sex until we get new carpet in the living room" you just smile and say ok and go into the study and rub one off while watching some p0rn. Problem solved, no need for sex and now you still don't need to get new carpet in the living room, YES HAHAHA.
You may well be right. The real threat that easy access to porn creates is to the one power women have always had over men. Now women have to compete with an entire internet full of porn. Is it desensitization or just competition?
This is one of the biggest crocks I have every read. No citations. Opinions wrapped as truths. Conjectures made to sound like they're supported. And, stupidest of all, the writer attempts uses most of her time to explain to you why her contentions, without citation, for a study that has no impact on the initial questions should, without logical connection, have an impact on the initial question. This is an "F" paper in any intelligent science or writing class. Grow a brain, please. There, that should spark some response fom the fools who have rubber-stamped your idiocies...
Naomi Wolf is hot.
Look, porn has been around for millennium. We just have more access to it now, with a click of a button. I wish it wasn't so taboo in this damn country the release a little bit know and then. But if you want to pick on somebody, pick on Mark Zuckerberg that took away socialization on the whole (almost) with the advent of Facebook. I know porn is one thing, but socialization is dead to start with, even before you hit the trail of porn.
Your right, I believe the lack of any social skills will be the end of us (video games,TV & yes computers)
Porn isn't driving we men crazier. There's just far more ways for our less-than-savory activities to get discovered now. high tech cameras, phones, internet, paper trails, etc.
If they were not acting so self righteous before they got caught it would not cause them very much grief.
Wooing Women leads to drinking.
Porn is a problem if one thinks of sex from a woman's point of view. Women more than men depend of strong emotional relationships with men in order to enjoy sex. But men don't and porn then is the perfect fit for men. Viva Porn!
In short, women need "reasons" to allow themselves to act slu tty (i.e. have s3x). This is why it's almost a cultural rule for young American women to get really drunk before consenting to a s3xual encounter. European women don't have that same hang up, by the way.
Alcohol relaxes their inhibitions, their judgement, and their sense of guilt and shame. Then afterwards, they can use their drunkenness as the perfect cover/excuse for themselves, (i.e. "I would never have done that entire basketball team on the pool table last night, but I was sooooooooo drunk! Hey, do you wanna go shopping with me?")
the porn industry is run by women for the most part these days, it is an undeniable fact. women know what men want and men will pay for it. who does the vast percentage of porn focus on? women of course. women participate freely and with great vigor in the porn industry. what is ruining this planet right now? is it porn? religion? war? shall we become like the mid east or any given fascist country with their subjugation of women all the while the males rape murder and cover their females and enjoy porn discreetly? Where porn resides, women, for the most part, are treated much better than the latter. THAT is wierd. porn is a good thing, it allows WHOEVER(m/f, the shy, disabled, etc) to go to a place they may or not be able to go to. sex is like breathing and eating, it is an undeniable basic need of most living creatures and is going to manifest itself one way or the other, or guess what geniuses, the species dies. so get over it. to quote Steven Stills, a great poet, "if you be with the one you love, love the one youre with.." may have been a sexual reference, maybe not but it applies. it's a relief valve, not a pressure point. or else, sex is a commodity to be controlled either through the media or by your significant other, a way to exert power over another. i'll take porn anyday, ultimately it is a good thing
Naomi didn't make the cut in the p0rn audition and simply has an axe to grind because she still has to write nonsense to earn a paycheck instead of lying on her back, which she prefers.
Imagine that..... a woman trying to use sex as a way to exert control...... NEVER
" unlike today, though, they were far more discreet and generally used much better judgment in order to cover their tracks"
I beg to differ. Look at history at how well their exploits have been discovered and doccumented. Today is no different. Men in power believe they are invincible and push the envelope until they get caught.
In my opinion, Ms. Wolf's argument is weak. She presents evidence on how men watching porn want to watch more and more to get their next fix, and that it causes performance issues, NOT that they want to cheat more flagrantly. In fact, most of the studies about porn addicts show they want to watch more porn INSTEAD OF actually being with real women; those studies she presents seem to support that too. So how does that relate to men cheating in less discrete ways? And who says men 40 years ago were any more discrete? These technologies didn't exist then, so men used what they had. Who knows what men would have done had the technology existed. I am not convinced porn plays any role. I think men have always been this voracious and now they just have more ways to act on it than before. Plus, the press and public have more ways to find out about it.
What you just wrote makes far more sense. I too was confused about how porn causing a reduction in sex drive is supposed to cause MORE sex drive driven risky behavior?!?!?
No logic, no data, not science.
I`d type more but I`m using my nose right now!
One thing not mentioned as a potential reason for this "addiction" is that men and women, although long out of the cave, are still driven by primal instinct. For a woman, it's to nurture and protect young, therefore, once that has been achieved she may not any more use for sex. A man is driven to spread his seed far and wide to ensure his lineage and thus the success of the human race. It's no different than any other species – only that we are concious of the social implications of that behavious in this modern era we've created.
Thus the billion dollar porn industry was born.
No, the p0rn industry was born because sweet, innocent, pious young women just need money for college. They are all destined to become doctors, lawyers and world leaders.
One important difference between men and women is that men like sex independent of emotional attachments and women don't. This makes sex between men very attractive because all the participants can play the same game.
TRUTH ABOUT PORN:
-THERE IS NO PORN LIKE 70'S PORN. HALFWAY THRU THE 80'S UP TO TODAY IS JUST GARBAGE (QUALITY AND CONTENT)
-EUROPEAN PORN (ITALIAN, FRENCH, GERMAN) IS MUCH BETTER THAN AMERICAN PORN. THESE PEOPLE ACTUALLY HAVE INTIMACY, NOT A MECHANICAL PERFORMANCE ON FRONT OF A CAMERA.
-THE HOTTEST PORN AVAILABLE IS THE ONE WHICH ACTUALLY SHOWS PEOPLE MAKING LOVE, NOT HAVING SEX !
We all are a bunch of hypocrites who hide behind a curtain of "morality" and "decency" yet we all do the same things. Take a look at your "sunday morning" church members for example... you go to church sunday morning and everyone is hiding behind the "family values curtain" yet the night before they were rolling in their beds having sex like anyone else.
What makes sex dirty or clean ??? pleaseeee ... thats like asking what makes "garbage" clean or dirty ...
Mmmmmmm...70s p0rn...all those hairy, European women from Sweden...I need to find me some torrents!
magnet:?xt=urn:btih:978973648a641fd3ba1cf0a466c151e232aebd87
Not convincing. What studies? If these purported studies do exist, have any been done on women?
Research has shown that couples who use pornography together report enhanced satisfaction with their sex lives.
See? I just made a statement with exactly as much authority as the author. Any time you hear "research has shown..." or "studies have proven...", don't believe a word of it unless references to peer-reviewed academic studies are included. And even then, especially if such sweeping allegations are made, you should take it not as fact, but hypothesis or theory until a large number of studies give clear indications one way or the other.
I have a very good job, a loving girlfriend, 2 lovely kids......but .....hardly any sex, mostly because when our day is over we just dont have the energy. So.....since im home alone most of the day doing work on my computor, I alow myself 1 or 2 quickies watching porn on the net. It releaves me, helps me concentrate more after, and the lack of sex with my girlfriend bothers me less. She knows about this and is very ok with it. She will actually be carefull not to disturb me when she knows i am in the basement jerking off. To her it is a relief also, not to have to give me what i need more than her. But.... yes porn is addictive....I should know, I just love it tooo much, and on a daily basis. But this doesnt prevent me from beeing an awsome guy as I am often described. Also, one last thing: i prefer watching porn than cheating. My girlfriend agrees. So......jerk on and enjoy life. MY 30 MINUTES A DAY OF RELIEF DOES NOT DEFINE WHO I AM !!! 15 YEARS and still with my loving girlfriend
Life is indeed a compromise.. some would even say Life is a Placebo..
Your gf goes along with your jerk off sessions for two basic reasons:
One: She doesn't really enjoy s3x with you, that's absolutely crystal clear. She avoids it mostly - the "lack of energy" issue is a red herring since most women lie on their backs and the guy does most of the work anyway. Using the "lack of energy" smokescreen helps her avoid discussing the real issue which is that she needs you economically (I'm guessing the brats are hers from a previous "relationship," right?) and she gets to retain control over you.
Two: P0rn isn't an economic and emotional threat to her...a rival would be. Most women aren't really upset when a man "cheats" because his p3nis entered a different v@gina; they are upset because another conniving wh0re is trying to outmaneuvre her for control / your emotional support / your paycheck / helping her with the kids / be her poodle, etc.
In summary:
Reason one: control
Reason two: control
Advice: get yourself a mistress and stop denying yourself great s3x - it's your human need and right and your current gf cannot and does not want to pull her own weight in this bogus relationship you have.
Yes, porn is much better than the crushing depression and thoughts of suicide that come with years of rejection and not living up to women's ideal image of a man. This article is sickening.
Dude...did you ever think that American women are not the gold standard of females? Instead of crying about what a sad loser you are, why don't you do some international travel and open your eyes.
Totally with you. Ditch these bitchy American women. There are PLENTY of women in the world who aren't dried up windbags. Let's naturally select these self appointed experts on everything man related right out of the gene pool.
Exercising releases dopamine and takes away from out time spent with you bitchy ladies. Is exercise making us crazy too???
/www conspiracycards com/Toys/NaomiWolf_Action_Figure.jpg
I'll just leave this here
I came..... just sayin.
I watch porn, because it is an alternative to having sex with women, that i really dont care about, not the least bit interested in, or just having sex out of convenience. I am not trying to have unprotected sex, or unwanted children. I am not going to have sex with a woman just because i havent had any in awhile. Also, there is the isssue of sexual compatibility. Lets be honest, trying to find a satifying sexual partner is difficult, but it depends on your needs or what your sense of entitlement is. We will come back to the latter. I what satisfied me sexually was just what was between a women's legs then great. And a lot of women believe that is all they should do or put you through so much stress about it, that you dont even want it. As far as these "powerful men getting reckless", they can. They know that money and power is what women respect and feel because they are these "powerful men" they can have any woman whenever and however they want. For me, it is what it is, my peace of mind is the most important thing, keeping unwanted stress away is the next. Getting laid and acquiesing to a woman's bullshit as she toils over her sexuality is not that important anymore.
Porn is good escape from the dull sex life with one partner – however men are not dumb – what they see in porn is fantasy an what they do in bed is reality –
American women are the BIGGEST reason of men turning to porn for enjoyment and lack of "paid girldfiends" like Latin America and Asia makes American men the SADDEST group of educated men on planet.
Ditch the american bitch ( most are fat , ugly and have ZERO sensuality and feminism) and go for other picks.
I did and could not be happier – we watch porn together and break beds now !
My 21-year-old Chinese-American girlfriend gives me everything I need and quite a lot more...
AMEN!!!! Ditch these prudish, winey, bitchy self entitled American women and move on.
Funny you say that, I found European men are far more competent at sex than American men!!
"Unbridled lust is like a cannibal committing
suicide by nibbling on himself." Calvin Miller
I think this opinion article has to be omitting some facts. I'm the President of Adult Entertainment company, Pinkvisual, and if this article were true it would indicate that people like me and others within the industry who see a lot of pornography would be so hooked that we'd be striving to find our new pornography high all the time. This is not the case at all from my observations and discussions with those people who see a lot of porn on a daily basis. There are plenty of happily married people within the industry too who actually get aroused by being in a good healthy relationship and where there's no shaming their partners for being open minded about their sexual desires or open minded that they might find other people attractive.
I'm sure if a deeper analysis were done, there would be much more association with men in positions of power and that sense of power and control being addictive, causing them to not be considerate of others & do whatever they damn well please because they think they are above everything.
BINGO
Downloading Orgy Sex Parties 12 and Gangbang Junkies 5 right now.
Allison, I would love to do a deeper analysis of your pink visual.
Nah, I'm a sex pest and I barely ever watch porn. Argument debunked.
Sorry, I don't buy the premise of the story. I consider myself a typical male. I have read pornography since middle school. I am in my 40s and have never experienced impotence or premature ejaculation. This article is such tripe.
@Leslie Mann
Amen!!
It's amazing the amount of porn availible today. And it's not like the old days when you'd see the same people over and over, (at least on the 'net). I've watched porn movies but I have never found the same "delight" in it as other men. I always thought, "why watch when you can do"? I don't look at porn over the internet. I believe that porn degrades women to point that men have lost respect for women in general. They're perceived as an object. And it's not just the mens fault. There are a lot of women who, for whatever reason, are willing to subject themselves to this perverted version of a beautiful event. And I agree that men's lust for more agrresive images increase as they become used to what's usually out there. I feel like porn makes men feel superior and increases the danger of violence towards women. Maybe it's just me but I've really never been with many women who were "Amish" towards sex. I've learned a lot from women to be sure and I thank all 10,000 of you.
Well, the lower incidence of rape does not seem to be in line with what you imagine higher porn accessibility causes. Frankly, the studies show a lower libido among porn users. Seems to be a win for women who want less sex.
MarkinFL,
Rape is not the only form of violence women experience. Your studies need to be re-studied.
Habituation happens.
It happens with food, thus we eat a variety; it happens with stimulants, thus we up our dosage; it happens with activity, so we thrill seek; it happens with violence on t.v., thus we have now an abundance of autopsy shows.
So it happens too with porn...no surprise.
It happens also with regular sex. Marriage has long been known to be the biggest habituator of the sex drive. Sexual dysfunction after a couple years of marriage is this world's biggest domestic secret.
All things in moderation.
Wow, that has to be the world's worst kept "secret"!
It's only because the woman's body is an object of material satisfaction. When this satisfaction can be replaced by something else that there is no need for a woman. And by fixing the sexual problem therefore may not be a good thing for society. It is when the body transcends love in marriage, family, and society that things might change. But the way US is imposing its sexual revolution in the world, I'm afraid there is no hope for human civilisaiton. Now they want marriage and sex to be normal between members of the same sex....hello, it doesn't get better anytime soon!
Perhaps this will shed some light:
I just saw a 50 year-old French movie with Jean Paul Belmondo called Leon Morin. He played a handsome young Catholic priest who smugly flaunted his purity and celibacy, fully aware that he was inflaming the local women. He constantly lectured and mocked them for their normal desires, which only inflamed them more. The moral of the story? We always lust most after what we can't have. (..especially women? And in marriage familiarity breeds contempt?)
porn = proof of repressed nature.... porn only shows what has been hidden to men all along, the simple fact that women are happy to perform all types of sex acts contrary to their behavior in public, and popular belief constructed thru the media and laws made by puritan outdated views about sex. Behind closed doors and willing to be on film women will do just about anything sexually. The only trick left for men to find out is the method in which to get all of them to express their desires openly in public all the time thereby removing the mystery about what they will and wont do, and removing the need of men to watch porn at all. asddfghjjkkll;;;;'
There is so much free porn on the internet that I can't see how anyone is making any money wth it.
Foreign markets and the technically-inept (i.e. "what's a bittorrent??")
Also, most p0rn bitches turn tricks on the side.
porn is to men, what shoes are to women...end of discussion
And I'll bet 10 to 1 if you wasted your time you could find that buying new shoes released dopamine in women's brains and that powerful women are crazy from it.
Ms. Wolf, I am disappointed in this article. If I wanted to get lied to about pornography I would go to church.
haha.. awesome.
Women have nothing to worry about with porn. Its not real. When I watch it, I don't think of the actresses as real people. They are a representation of a fantasy. If I want to deal with a real woman, I have to deal with all the annoyances, insecurities and needs of a real human being. With a porno, I can find absolutely any scenario I'm in the mood for at that exact moment and enjoy watching an angelic, seductive, beautiful girl do whatever I want her to do. I don't have to worry about her feelings, her wants and needs, or anything. Then after I'm done, I can turn it off and do whatever I want.
I have a long term relationship with a real woman, and its a good one at that. I'm very attracted to my girlfriend and we have a healthy sex life with a strong emotional connection. Porn in no way is in competition with that. It's totally different.
Only women have this opinion about porn. Comparing porn to drugs or gambling is not accurate. Porn relieves us guys from very normal and powerful urges. And it's a darn good alternative for guys living/working in our hypersensitive culture.
My scientific conclusion: Porn saves women from sexual harassment.
Every women is a secret porn star. Given the right opportunity with her fantasy man, she will do whatever he demanded from her sexually. We all have porn fantasies, the difference is women will deny they ever think about it, some even believing they are still virgins unless she is absolutely overpowered by her tall, dark and handsome hero with his muscular arms, chiseled abs, and large phallic member.
Furthermore, they share half the blame for participating in these films. If it were so corrupting to them, why don't women all over the world stand up and stop featuring themselves in these films and get real jobs.
I can't believe it when I see articles like this. Nothing has changed at all for a very long time in the scheme of human behavior. Men will be men and are driven to any kind of actions you can imagine in the name of SEX. The tools, pills and technology are irrelevant. Given more freedom to engage and promote sexual activity in any given society fluctuates over
over time. People always think that anything is measurable. I can assure you that human frailties will always rule and will never be measured. The sex drive is the #1 force driving everything on this planet and it is that simple. We do have an obligation as a culture to temper these natural and necessary feelings to maintain a civilized system to exist within.
I don't see much wrong with writing an article like this just to stir up some debate and promote one's own job security.
Sounds like the kind of essay you would write as an ill-equipped college student than somebody who has some years of real life experience. People just need to talk about other people.
How do you differentiate between someone "needing" more stimulation and the natural evolution of preferences over time. In my mind these need not be one in the same. Switching from blonds to brunettes could be different stimulation but does not necessarily mean "more". It is the novelty of the situation and not the magnitude.
Our society is too sexually repressed. At the end of the day, we are animals, but we are the only species stupid enough to spend most of our day doing stuff we don't enjoy. For some made-up historical cultural reason we have to inhibit our desires and sexual urges for most of our daily lives. If we were truly free and liberated, we would be allowed to all go outside naked and have sex with whoever consents to it. Porn is an escape back to a more primal world from our past. Look outside, birds and animals are at it whenever they feel like, and in front of their neighbours, they don't care. Humans have shot themselves in the foot in order to be "civilized". Civilized tends to mean we lead less fulfilling lives in order to stupidly help big companies make more meaningless money than they know what to do with.
[Genesis 19:31-36]
One day the older daughter said to her sister, "There are no men left anywhere in this entire area, so we can't get married like everyone else. And our father will soon be too old to have children.
Come, let's get him drunk with wine, and then we will have sex with him. That way we will preserve our family line through our father." So that night they got him drunk with wine, and the older daughter went in and had intercourse with her father. He was unaware of her lying down or getting up again.
The next morning the older daughter said to her younger sister, "I had sex with our father last night. Let's get him drunk with wine again tonight, and you go in and have sex with him. That way we will preserve our family line through our father."
So that night they got him drunk with wine again, and the younger daughter went in and had intercourse with him. As before, he was unaware of her lying down or getting up again.
As a result, both of Lot's daughters became pregnant by their own father.
I came.
Son fornicates with Mother....
While he was living there, Reuben had intercourse with Bilhah, his father's concubine (wife), and Jacob soon heard about it. [Genesis 35:22]
Like an Instruction manual for every type of incest :O
WOW ... lets see how hypocrites puritans who have sex like anyone else but deny it dearly respond to that !!!
[Genesis 38:15-18]
When Judah saw her, he thought she was a prostitute, for she had covered her face.
So he stopped and propositioned her. "Let me have sex with you," he said, not realizing that she was his own daughter-in-law. "How much will you pay to have sex with me?" Tamar asked.
"I'll send you a young goat from my flock," Judah promised. "But what will you give me to guarantee that you will send the goat?" she asked.
"What kind of guarantee do you want?" he replied. She answered, "Leave me your identification seal and its cord and the walking stick you are carrying." So Judah gave them to her. Then he had intercourse with her, and she became pregnant.
[Judges 16:1]
One day Samson went to the town of Gaza and spent the night with a prostitute.
[Song of Solomon 7:1-4]
How beautiful are your sandaled feet, O queenly maiden. Your rounded thighs are like jewels, the work of a skilled craftsman.
Your navel is perfectly formed like a goblet filled with mixed wine. Between your thighs lies a mound of wheat bordered with lilies.
Your breasts are like two fawns, twin fawns of a gazelle.
Your neck is as beautiful as an ivory tower. Your eyes are like the sparkling pools in Heshbon by the gate of Bath-rabbim. Your nose is as fine as the tower of Lebanon overlooking Damascus.
[Song of Solomon 7:8]
I said, "I will climb the palm tree and take hold of its fruit." May your breasts be like grape clusters, and the fragrance of your breath like apples.
[Ezekiel 23:3,5-8]
They became prostitutes in Egypt, engaging in prostitution from their youth. In that land their breasts were fondled and their virgin bosoms caressed.
"Oholah engaged in prostitution while she was still mine; and she lusted after her lovers, the Assyrians–warriors clothed in blue, governors and commanders, all of them handsome young men, and mounted horsemen.
And so she prostituted herself with the most desirable men of Assyria, worshiping their idols and defiling herself.
For when she left Egypt, she did not leave her spirit of prostitution behind. She was still as lewd as in her youth, when the Egyptians slept with her, fondled her breasts, and used her as a prostitute.
[Ezekiel 23:20]
There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
[Song of Solomon 3:1-4]
All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him.
So I said to myself, "I will get up and roam the city, searching in all its streets and squares. I will search for the one I love." So I searched everywhere but did not find him.
The watchmen stopped me as they made their rounds, and I asked, "Have you seen the one I love?"
Then scarcely had I left them when I found my love! I caught and held him tightly, then I brought him to my mother's house, into my mother's bed, where I had been conceived.
[Song of Solomon 8:1-3]
If only you were to me like a brother, who was nursed at my mother's breasts! Then, if I found you outside, I would kiss you, and no one would despise me.
I would lead you and bring you into the house of my mother— she who used to teach me. I would give you spiced wine to drink, the juice of my pomegranate.
Your left arm would be under my head, and your right arm would embrace me.
[Song of Solomon 8:10]
I was a virgin, like a wall; now my breasts are like towers. When my lover looks at me, he is delighted with what he sees.
[Song of Solomon 1:13]
My beloved is to me a pouch of myrrh Which lies all night between my breasts.
[Song of Solomon 1:2-4]
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine;
Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfume poured out. No wonder the maidens love you!
Take me away with you–let us hurry! Let the king bring me into his chambers. We rejoice and delight in you; we will praise your love (semen) more than wine. How right they are to adore you!
[Song of Solomon 5:2-4]
I slept, but my heart was awake, when I heard my lover knocking and calling: "Open to me, my treasure, my darling, my dove, my perfect one. My head is drenched with dew, my hair with the dampness of the night."
But I responded, "I have taken off my robe. Should I get dressed again? I have washed my feet. Should I get them soiled?"
My lover thrust his hand through the latch-opening; my heart began to pound for him.
Women are just as much in to porn as men, very biased article. Porn is just more secretive with women
I don't believe what you are saying. With women as the only consumers the porn industry would collapse.
It's interesting how a wife can get angry at her husband for watching sex but husbands don't get angry with their wife when they read the romance stories. If a wife finds enjoying porn to be cheating, reading romance should also be cheating. But men don't care.
[Ruth 3:3-5]
Now do as I tell you–take a bath and put on perfume and dress in your nicest clothes. Then go to the threshing floor, but don't let Boaz see you until he has finished eating and drinking.
When he lies down, note the place where he is lying. Then go and uncover his feet and lie down (I'm sure he didn't ask her to tickle his feet). He will tell you what to do."
"I will do whatever you say," Ruth answered.
[Proverbs 5:19]
She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.
[Isaiah 66:11]
You will nurse and be satisfied from her comforting breasts. You will nurse to your heart's delight at her full breasts.
THANK YOU FOR "THE BOOK OF PORN" postings....precisely my point regarding hipocresy and church people.... we all have sex in the same way, but some want to make it look like a day at DIsney !!!
Hypocrisy – not "hipocresy." Guns don't keep people; poor spelling and bad grammar do. Women who just won't shut up – that's what drives men over the edge.
Bible thumpers and blind followers.... please help the internet community understand the above stated verses.
Help us understand why the christian god placed so many x-rated verses in the book of christiandom.
I'd never ever allow my children to read such an x-rated book, I honestly think it would harm their innocent developing minds and lead to harmful psychological diseases of the mind.
I actually sat here with my Bible and thumbed through all the verses The Book of Porn quoted, and I am horrified. I could not imagine in a thousand years that the Bible contained so many lewd and graphic words.
All through my life I attended church and bible study groups but I never ever heard the pastors mention any of these verses. If they do mention it, they definitely do a good job of censoring it.
I am so ashamed now... because there is no doubt in my mind that these filthy words came from the perverted minds of men and not God.
I just flipped through my KJ Bible and I feel the same way as you do
This article reads like justification for keeping pot illegal... the idea that it's a "gateway drug" to harder and harder stuff. Or perhaps the attempts to regulate people's sex lives. Sure some people, people with addictive behavior need greater and greater highs, more and more graphic porn, etc and so forth, but it does not apply to the vast majority of people. If this applied to the vast majority of people it would work the same in relationships. Needing ever more unusual things to achieve the same feelings. You could take the porn away and the same thing would happen in sexual relationships if the premise were true. This premise is probably the idea behind the various attempts to regulate and constrict people's sex lives over the centuries. But the premise has been demonstrated as false time and time again when finally some people decide to stop criminalizing, regulating, and controlling. Trying to come up with what's bad for people by using the outliers eventually causes the control freaks to act on that for the so called good of society. This only serves to create disasters. Far more harm is done than just leaving people alone. Better to treat those who have addictions than to have armed police intruding into our lives to make sure we aren't doing anything that isn't "good" for us. Perhaps its time to stop using this premise and stop giving the control freaks platforms and "evidence" to use.
Well considering rape and sex crime rates have dropped with the rising availability of porn, no.
"Could the widespread availability and consumption of pornography in recent years actually be rewiring the male brain, affecting men’s judgment about sex and causing them to have more difficulty controlling their impulses?"
It's a good thing that women are always rational and in control of their impulses.
"It is hard to ignore how many highly visible men in recent years (indeed, months) have behaved in sexually self-destructive ways."
No high-profile women ever misbehave sexually. Whew! That was close, Miss Hilton!
Lucky me! My ADD dopamine system-addled brain can enjoy the same porn over and over and never get tired of it.
I don't trust women's opinion when it comes to sex because women don't really like sex per se. Men like sex in all kinds of ways and situations but these clash with women's emotional/sexual needs.
It's not that men-who-have-sex-with-men (wrongly called gay) are specially promiscuous. No. What happens is that when women are not involved there are less limits for men. But men who only have sex with women are limited by the constraints placed by women. Unless men pay for hookers.
If porn would drive men crazy, America would be full of mad men.
Porn is the best thing ever happened. You never get STD having sex with your right/left hand.
Porn is not the issue. Porn has always been there, always will. The issue is the lack of an open healthy dialogue around sex and porn in our society, that would enable people to bring a real-world mindset to the viewing of what is essentially artificial entertainment, and to discuss all of this openly with each other – partners, friends, children. This is why I launched www. makelovenotporn.com over two years ago with this talk at TED:
http://blog.ted.com/2009/12/02/cindy_gallop_ma/
and go into all of this in more detail in my TEDBook 'Make Love Not Porn: Technology's Hardcore Impact on Human Behavior':
Make Love Not Porn: Technology's Hardcore Impact on Human Behavior (TED Books)
Cindy Gallop
http://www.makelovenotporn.com
I'll check out your site, Cindy.
Meanwhile, will it tell us how many users of porn, the old, the fat, the poor, the un-attractive, the shy, the clumsy, the pimpled, the geeky can get love? Love of a regular enthusiastic physical nature? If your site can't it's a fraud and wasting our time because you can't tell the frustrated to either accept frustration.. or to believe in a Holy pussy in the sky, our pristine reward for focusing only on the noble and the ideal.
Spammer, go market yourself and peddle your wares elsewhere. TED used to be a decent forum until it turned into an infomercial platform for new age gurus like yourself.
On the other hand, if you should ever post a masturbation vid, I'd be more than interested in fapping to it.
Okay.. I'm backa fter checking out both your TED video and your website. Your claims on the video are a misrepresentation – Not judgmental about porn? No suggestion of good or bad? Good Lord, Lady, what a fibber you are! Your site is nothing but judgmental. and that’s perfectly okay but why prevaricate about it??? I thought you were mature and fearless. And you’re fundamentally wrong about porn claiming to be “the way it is.” Porn is about HOW IT SHOULD BE MORE LIKE.. more enthusiastic, more intense, more fun.. and above all an ideal view of satisfied non-sour and bitchy females. Why can’t we men have our dreams when reality is so cold and harsh?!?
Cindy, you cause makes no sense and no man will pay attention to what a woman has to say about pornography.
Women use their honey fly trap to get married and then cut back, cut back, and cut back. A married couple ALMOST ALWAYS goes from having s..e..x several times a day, to every couple of days, to once a week, to once a month- if he's lucky AND it is ALMOST ALWAYS the woman who demands the cut back- NOT the man.
Spare me the sob stories of the women who put on 90 pounds and now they are more horny than their husband. Since they don't work, they have all day to type their comments in between (Naomi) wolfing down Ben and Jerry's and Cheetos. Despite their over-representation on comment boards, those women are still pretty rare- the ratio or undersexed men to undersexed women is 20 or 30 to 1.
If not for porn I would have cheated on my wife years ago.
Reminds me of Maria Schriver- according to Ah-nald she kicked him out of the bedroom fairly frequently and NOW suddenly she gets her panties in a wad because he stuck it to another woman? If "cheating" is "irreconcilable differences" then not putting out should be equally bad.
Imagine! Every wife who won't put out like she did to trap the man into marriage would lose custody of their kids, pay alimony and child support, lose their house, the car, all the money in the bank, and be socially ostracized, criticized and reviled as a BAD WIFE. HOW CAN IT BE "CHEATING" IF YOU ARE NOT TAKING ANYTHING FROM YOUR WIFE THAT SHE DOESN'T WANT ANYWAY?
Not going to happen though. Spare me the feminist drivel about the patriarchy. This society turned into a matriarchy years ago. Women have the ultimate power to decide when, where and how they have s..e..x. They use that power with great relish. Now porn is threatening their super power: Boo Hoo.
Bring on the Frack-Bots and we can finally break this matriarchal tyranny once and for all!!!
Yeah!
CRAZY FOR PUSSY !!!!!!!
Oops! sorry I'm just a typical heterosexual, an endangered species here in the USA>
I always found it fascinating how the things that we are attracted to are basically programmed into our brains by society. Women believe that being tan is more attractive. Why? Is it because is actually attractive to all men or because society has labeled being tan as being attractive. I think attraction has much more to do with mental than physical. That is why I find it more attractive when a woman is being naughty than not being naughty. Think about when you are watching porn and the woman says dirty things. You are more aroused by just using your eyes. The brain is weird.
John Que, you are not an endangered species. There has always been a lot of gay men around. More have come out over time since it has become more accepted. It just seems like there are less hetero men because more gay men have come out. I love Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey, watch your language! "There has always been a lot of gay men around..." You used a singular verb with a plural subject. Use 'have' in place of 'has.' Let's not allow bad grammar to become wired into our brains.Yes, I am aware that some people believe that bad grammar is genetic, but I still believe it is a choice. There are places where someone can go to be deprogrammed of his or her improper usage. Improper syntax is not determined at birth; it is a choice!
Sounds like another frustrated feminist, trying to blame men for being what they have been for millions of years (and its OK). We are animals...like women...and in the Strauss Khan mess...the women will be found to be lying (it sounds VERY evident she is a compulsive lier ...and a cheat...she lied on her asylum papers to get to the USA??). So is porn making women bigger manipulators, cheats, thieves? To divorce and take half or more from your spouse what society has taught women to do over the last few years? Is that your megalomaniac conditioning of following and dreaming to be Paris Hilton and Kim K (whatever her name is). Get off your high horse and face reality...men for millions of years (unless you dont believe in Evolution, then its thousands of years), have tried their best to impregnate as many women as they can. Then some people try to follow a proven to be doctored/bogus/fraudulent book (bible/koran/tora...al the same), and you TRY to train men to change?? Society tells us "Do not do what you have been doing forever, and is the most natural thing you have ever done". I wish there was this much pressure on preventing war...but that will never happen because that is part of your American market society that you believe in so much...sell you weapons and keep promoting your atrocious foreign policy...and keep looking around you trying to figure out what happened to America and why everyone is out to get you? Because you MUST grow up...fast! A lot of what you believe, have been taught and are so adamant about are wrong! The rest of the world is shocked at how silly you look and sound....I feel like I am watching a SLOW TRAIN CRASH....I cant look away. Stop focussing on Hollywood and money...focus on how the rest of the world really works. Even Hillary Clinton gave a great speech regarding how commercial and insulare the american media system is....look at news around the world, look outside the box.
Men will have sex with other women...its not right or wrong...its the way it is. Because you tell them they cant do it any more (because the books you follow say so), they will now do it behind your back, in the dark. Many women understand how to manipulate this into their best intest now, because in America (as the new young american has learned), cry rape (especially if he is rich) and you will have your chance to fleece him....ah, the American dream! Did you know that America has more lawyer per capita than any other country in the world? And more unemployed lawyers than anywhere else in the world! Shoot, preach, sue, steal and make money....Ah bliss.
Porn is not a problem , its the uptight right wing wackos that are bothered by it... study after study has more than proven that Porn is not harmful
Wha..whao..whoa..! " Porn is not a problem , its the uptight right wing..." Wait a minute! You just joined two independent clauses with a colon. One needs a semicolon to do that. I'll bet that Russian version of CNN forbids proofreading! Porn is not the problem; an uptight women writing a finger-pointing, erroneous article is the problem.
Porn destroys man, real sex with real woman does not. It's fun Just dont get married
You just validated the verse in the Bible > One day Samson went to the town of Gaza and spent the night with a prostitute. [Judges 16:1]
If you read this entire chapter... Samson was never punished or condemned for enjoying sex with a whore. Christians worldwide can take a lesson from their Holy book, just follow the example of Samson.
Nah...women destroy men. Women are always right, always. Don't even bother getting into an argument with a women; you're wrong. That's what kills men.
Mea Maxima Culpa! I made a spelling error in the above post. I want to apologize to all readers.
This idea that sex is valid only within the context of a relationship is only true from the woman's point of view. Sex is like the activity of eating. We can eat alone but enjoying a meal with someone else changes the activity of eating.
We men don't need anyone else for sex. Our right or left hand is all we need and some good porn to enhance the experience. But women depend on men to please them sexually. A very sad situation for them which makes them dependent and angry that men don't really need them.
I know not all men are the same, but I can tell you you guys that a shortage of sex is not the problem in my relationship. I am a woman – I dress up, try almost anything, except things I find painful or uncomfortable – which my guy still insists we do!?!? I don't understand it! I'd NEVER nag him to do something that caused him pain. He has let himself go – gained about 40 pounds and then wonders why I "ONLY" service him 2-3 times a week anymore... SO now instead of trying to lose weight, he just watches porn... I tell him that if he were to goto the gym a few nights per week from now on, I'd make it worth his while... that doesn't motivate him at all though... :\
The sequence of events is crucial here. Did the 40 lbs come before or after the porn? As you said, he "let himself go." Strong words. Barring some medical condition, i.e, low testosterone – common among men over 40- than food, not porn, can be the problem. Food, tough, in the situation you described, is not a substitute for sex. A replacement, yes, but for what? Forty pounds is a lot of balm for a wound that obviously is not healing.
Yes, I agree we men let ourselves go more than women do, get fat and slovenly, lazy and worst of all TV addicts.. porn is the least of it. Be absolutely sure you're the sexiest partner of the two before you start blaming your partner. Having said that, all things being equal, women still lose interest in their mate fastest, because they've always depended on him to take the lead sexual and make most of the moves.. so after a while she knows all his moves and are tired of them,
Wait, it's supposed to make you feel good for "an hour or two afterwards"??? i'm doing something wrong.
Porn does kind of make you want to do more interesting things with your partner, especially if it's gotten boring. Is that a bad thing?
To think of the a watchful eye upon the beauty of the womanly temple in relation to pornographic acts alone – only reveals anothers level of damned respect for public relations stunts in the political arena.
Okay, this one's had enough. Someone get his car keys.
I do believe in being as attractive as my mate. I have not seen him in 9 years (my ex) but his porn addiction had a social component. He was frustrated with his church (The LDS Church). He was frustrated with my parents and my family I think. He may have been frustrated with his family and even with God. He was part hispanic and from Arizona and I was from Vermont and there was a lot that could be mis conscrewed between him and I.
men need to cum. daily.
don't fuck up with that small, but crucial task and you're golden...even if you suck at everything else in life.
Porn rules, it keeps the urges down, and it's easily accessible. You get on the computer for 20 minutes and you're ready to face the day again. People who talk about porn taking away from "the magical experience of making love" or whatever should shut up. Let's all be honest for a second. Sex is WAAAYYYY over rated.
Interesting enough, altought the population doubles, soon the "scientists" and cnn reporters are screaming about how the number of crazy people doubled too. Of course there is someone to blame for it other then the populational growth... Well, let's see... I don't like porn, so it must be the culprit!!! duhhhh.....
Isn't Cupid in Obama's cabinet?
Such an offensive and brazen article.
Norman Mailer was perhaps half right about masturbation. He said it was dangerous for men because it diminishes our aggression and drive, exactly those things we need to get ahead in the world. But what he failed to take into account is that not all aggressive driven men will succeed in getting what they want, and often they will become downright murderous or rape happy if they stick solely sex with another partner (victim.) Yes, whacking off lessons our tensions – but it also blunts our focus... which may be a good thing too. Perhaps Mother Nature at a time of increasing over-population and diminishing resources, has given us Internet porn and gay marriage as a substitution for procreation?
Mastrabation makes men more agressive. I can remember the feeling of it around Tom. There was a tingly, vibe around him and kind of dusty like chalk and if you got in between him and that aura he was like a dog when they have their head in their food dish. Watch out.
Some might say Tom was understandably irritable if he had to service himself while under your disparaging gaze. Why didn't you at least lend a hand.. or better still your spiteful mouth?
you are not a lesbian blogger in syria. you are a man.
I think the people who are crazy are the women who work in porn...
There's nothing wrong with masturbation. Masturbation doesn't make men more aggressive, that's ridiculous. I'm against porn, porn is bad, but masturbation is natural.
Echoing author Dworkin’s comments, retired FBI agent Roger Young points out that many people “just don’t see the big picture of obscenity and the problems that it causes.” Some are swayed by those who defend pornography, claiming that there is no proof that pornographic images have a negative effect on people. “Pornography is fantasy after all,” writes author F. M. Christensen, “a fact that its opponents seem to have difficulty keeping in focus.” But if fantasy has no power, then upon what is the advertising industry based? Why would corporations spend millions of dollars producing commercials, videos, and printed ads if they have no lasting impact on people?
The fact is that like all successful advertising, pornography’s main purpose is to create appetites where none existed before. “Pornography is about profits, pure and simple,” write researchers Steven Hill and Nina Silver. “And in this marketplace gone amok, anything is considered an exploitable and expendable resource, particularly women’s bodies and human sexual relations.” Greer compares pornography to highly addictive fast food, devoid of nutrition and laced with taste-enhancing additives and chemicals. “Commercial fast sex,” she says, “is fake sex . . . Food advertising sells fantasy food and sex advertising sells fantasy sex.”
Some doctors claim that pornography can spark an addiction that is far more difficult to overcome than drug addiction. Treatment for drug addicts usually starts with detoxification to remove the substance from the body. But addiction to pornography, explains Dr. Mary Anne Layden of the University of Pennsylvania, “produces mental imagery which is permanently implanted in the mind of the user and is scaled in by brain chemistry.” That is why individuals can vividly recall pornographic images from years past. She concludes: “This is the first addictive substance for which there is no hope for detoxification.” But does that mean it is impossible to break free from pornography’s influence? And what specific harm does pornography cause?
The only way to avoid it's infuences is not to buy into it. Bottom line. Repent and Pray, Pray, Pray. Only God can keep you away from satan's snares.
there is no god, hence, no one to pray to.
religion is the biggest scam/money-making racket going.
your arguments hold no merit.
Lucy – How about the never-ending stream of women who make a living from porn?
I suppose the intense sexual gratification these women have while achieving multiple orgasms is all simple "exploitation" of women, eh?
If you want to address the root cause of porn, look to its source – the women who live for porn. Or better yet, just leave it alone.
The article is spot on. We need higher highs to get the same level of satisfaction.
I started when I was about 6 years old. Don't ask me how I got hold of porn then, but I did. I needed to watch rougher and kinkier porn to get to the same level of sexual satisfaction.
To the women here, men need to clear their nuts to be able to concentrate on worthier pursuits. If there's a mass of semen in there, we cannot focus on other things in life. Masturbation with porn becomes necessity if/when we cannot find a partner to have sex with as often.
I started with porn early because I had no access to women at that age. However, by the time I reached the age at which I could have sex with women my age, I needed much higher highs than any woman could provide. Hence porn continued to be important to help me focus on other things in life.
Now in my 30s, I make sure that my partner is satisfied sexually. However, it is tough for my partner to satisfy me at all times. I still look at porn when she does not do it for me.
I understand that porn is fake. Well, so are breast implants and all the cosmetics you women use. I know that the women in most porn videos are faking most of it. It is acting. However, it gets the job done.
Women also typically have a lower sex drive than men. Porn fills in for the extra sex drive that men have.
My porn watching is not about my partner or her abilities or her looks though. She is amazing and beautiful. I love her to death just the way she is, fat or thin. Porn is now about me. I have gone through exactly the things which the article describes. I love my partner so much that I cannot do to her the things I watch in porn now. She does not have those fantasies either. And I cannot chat her with another woman in person. Hence porn is the imaginary fantasy which satisfies my need for release without having to go against my values.
Finally, I see nothing wrong with porn as long as it does not become an addiction. Well, it is sort of an addiction for me, but it enables me to live my life and focus on other things. I spend 10-30 minutes watching porn about half the days a week. Those 10-30 minutes help me focus on other important things in life. Why is that such a bad thing?
The top NOTE, should read Disclaimer "Naomi Wolf is a political activist this article is an op-ed, of the same regurgitated rhetoric being used for the last 50 years, which lead to the social failures she describes". Published by CNN routinely broadcasts that political dissent is a great way to deal with political opponents. The same CNN is part of the problem.
Porn is a symptom NOT the cause of social problems. I think porn objectifies men far more than women. The existence of porn has been around forever, and is an easy scapegoat because its outside of mainstream society. Women in porn get treated a lot better than the men do, get paid 10x for the same work. They are stars, men are just penises.
I think the unreasonable view of both men and women portrayed by MTV and these magazines has created an unrealistic and unworkable social model based on materialism, that right now, none of us can afford. There is too much money, and more than money, prestige and social capital held up and enforced by Public Relations goons and advertising. They are a bigger more influential business than porn ever is. There is an unrelenting social pressure on men to be promiscuous, as being more promiscuous is linked to higher social status.
What really objectifies women is cosmopolitan and these girly mags teaching young women to be a sex object and sell themselves to the highest bidder. The highest bidder gets to emotionally abuse these women in exchange for giving them social status, and then claim they are doing them a favor, while the men who don't have enough monetary or social capital to buy these women are forced to resort to porn. Then you can make a scape goat out of the bottom who can't afford you.
Whats even worse is the immense system of disinformation to tell us this is all normal, and maybe natural. Please do no recycle the same Victorian-era sexual myths and call it progress. Your a sexist bitch. Face it.
I love porn . It has been a part of my life for many years and serves as a great tool to teach children the subject
Ms. Klein wants to vilify porn as the cause men's sexual issues. Fine. If she can accept argue this overly simplistic theory then she should also take into consideration what has changed women's behavior. It is pretty aparent that sex has become a trade between the sexes: woman have sex for goods and money, men for pleasure. In both cases emotions and relationships have been disposed of. One only has to look at popular culture to see this isn't just about men staring at porn pixels. We have two movies in one year about f*ck buddies, songs and videos that celebrate girl-girl sex and using sex to get things. The fact is, our entire culture has been "pornofied": sex is simply a means to and end. It's incredibly naive of Wolff to blame it all on porn and to put the onus on men. Porn can be addictive and possibly damaging but so, too, can be an obsession with clothing, money, status, fame and power. Women don't exactly go around chasing guys with little of the latter. Also, she doesn't even consider the role of porn in many healthy relationships or situations where porn has to substitute for actual sex (long term separation, no time, etc.). This is life for a lot of people. There are also health factors to consider. Pre-mature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction can be caused by many circumstances. Using cause and effect to pin it on porn is simply practicing bad science. Considering Wolf's body of work one might say she has an agenda which is pretty reactionary and prudish. In the internet age we are redefining our lives and in many cases substituting reality for the virtual. Porn is just another instance of this and, for good or bad, we aren't about to go back. Get over the knee jerk reaction and accept it.
I’m glad to see that all these strong, sane pornography users are sticking up for what’s right and admonishing all the women on this site who claim they don’t like pornography because it ruined their marriage, and all the men who claim that they “struggle” with their pornography addictions—these two undesirable whiners have absolutely no idea what they’re even talking about.
You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to see that porn use has nothing to do with the safety or moral tone of the society we live in—I mean, honestly, how could it? So millions of men are masturbating to violent and degrading pornography—how can that possibly hurt the way women and children are seen or treated by men—I really don’t see any connection. This kind of paranoia just reeks of self-righteousness, and people who worry about morals in general are extremely annoying people.
It’s very plain to anyone who’s really thinking that there can’t possibly be any God, which means of course there is no ultimate judgment of the soul (and no soul, either), and certainly no heaven OR hell–even love is nothing but a cheap illusion (which can never compare with the true satisfaction one reaps from pornography), and marriage is for morons.
To think that it’s a very big risk to view pornography because there might really be a hell is way too overly cautious—real men take real chances—these men are unafraid of a Holy God making them pay for any of their sins, and they deserve your respect for this decision that they’ve made—you have to be really brave, and cool, like a James Bond character, to go through life thumbing your nose at God in this way, hoping that nothing bad will happen, even after you’re dead—if this unmitigated recklessness doesn’t really impress you, well, then, I feel very, very sorry for you.
And if you see any correlation to the demonic in the mocking, scornful tone that these men display, that’s only a coincidence. Shame on you for being so full of yourself that you came to that particularly damnable conclusion. Or if you find it highly ironic that these men now insist they have no need for a real woman, when a woman would probably be the only one who would even suggest that they get help for their porn addiction. If you’re nervy enough think that also seems suspiciously demonic, then shame on you—you should really be ashamed of yourself.
And even if it appears to you that these men have reduced the whole dynamics of society down to getting laid or not, or whether women are hot or not, or whether people even actually need meaningful relationships with other people to be happy or not, this is really not correct—pornography has made these men fully aware of the true worth of all women (which has absolutely nothing to do with anything but their sexual attractiveness), and they can easily see through the flimsy propaganda of their being any human need for the give-and-take of an actual, physically present relationship with another person—the fact that they’ve looked at a lot of pornography has transcendently enlightened these men, and if it looks to you as if they’ve thrown something valuable away for something poisonous or emotionally and mentally damaging, then the problem lies squarely with you.
The world really doesn’t need men for anything important, like being good husbands and fathers (the idea that “every kid needs a father”—pfffft!)), and the world will get along perfectly fine without their help with anything whatsoever—so please, please, PLEASE—you can now stop worrying.
Echo...oh...oh...oh...oh...oh...
I could tell by the title that this article was written by a woman, probably a feminist. The crosshairs are squarely set on men, with a couple red-herring comments about women thrown in as an afterthought.
What's the opposite of misogyny?
It's called misandry, and the reason you haven't heard of it is because people like the author of this article seem to think it's perfectly normal behavior.
Love is a drug that eventually runs out, so porn can be that replacement: doesn't nag, no expectations, COMPLETE CONTROL, higher dopamine, SAFE and BEST OF ALL; NO PREGNANCY. I just don't trust women when it comes to sex, i've seen many of my friends get "trapped". As an antinatalist i morally object to bringing a child into existence and porn let's me take of that urge without any consequences.
So thank you porn, you saved tons of would-be-lives.
I am honsetly floored at some of the comments here. I think it's funny that some of the men think they are somehow having a no strings attached sexual relationship with the porno girls they are watching. lol.
Porn is nothing but peeping tom voyerism. Do it in real life and you'll be arrested for being a pervert.
I'm a cute wife with a hunky husband. We have a great sex life. I have a nice figure, I don't say no to anything my husband wants to try. I don't have a lot of "issues" and I don't make him talk for hours after sex. I will do anything he wants, but I wouldn't put up with porn in the picture. Sorry. He wouldn't put up with it from me either.
Glad this isn't something I have to deal with. The distain some of you have for women is really sad. We can be pretty great.
oh...oh...oh...oh...
Wow, Naomi wolf, you don't seem very smart.
1. Premature Ejaculation is the definition of UNDERsensitization. Desensitization would mean ejaculation never happens. Do you see the difference?
2. "more and more extreme over time" : What does this mean? Every man starts looking at women in bikinis, then naked women, then...furries, I guess...then...what? guro? scat? And what after that? I don't think you have any concrete idea of what you're referring to.
I'm currently enjoying my porn right now!
Aw shut up...
Gee, guess we better ban porn now huh?
More simplistic and specious analysis which, in the end, is utter bullshit...
Porn isnt driving men crazy its an outlet. In centuries past powerful men commonly and openly had multiple wives and/or mistresses. That is not socially acceptable, so men turn to other things as an outlet for their need for variety. If a guy is watching porn and not cheating on his wife and not causing any problems then leave him alone,
Porn FTW
Perhaps the real problem is that we make the bad decisions of one Republican politician who allows 3,000 Americans to be needlessly killed by terrorists, 1,800 Americans to be needlessly killed by a hurricane, 5,000 Americans to be needlessly killed in a war when he attacks the wrong country, condemns 25 million Americans to homelessness, collapses the American and world financial markets, and spies on the American people while he tortures innocent victims to be considered the moral equivalent of the bad decision of a Democratic politician who sends a partially clothed picture of himself to a stranger on Twitter.
Get a sense of proportition in the world and stop focusing your tiny, myopic gaze on your own navel.
Looks like one important thing is getting overlooked here: porn actresses get PAID to do what they do ... Another hint: guys, it shows you—because it's the dick you really want to watch—men always coming outside the woman's body. What's that going to teach you about how to properly fuck a woman?
Not a damn thing.
A man who is a good lover will rarely be without sex in his marriage/relationship.
I completely agree.
Porn messes with a man's (and a woman's) sexuality. No wonder so many of you are having a hard time getting laid.
oh...
The author writes as if she has not researched many Porn/adult sites. i don't know if i have seen "many," but, as a social scientist, I attempt to define what is going on. The sites exist because the US Supreme CT, considers it to be art and an opinion, therefore protected speech. Here, in corporate America, the sites operate to make a profit for the owners. Can the "bottom line" of two or more people apparently having intercourse, be erotic? Perhaps. The performers (paid, mind you), appear to be involved, to a 15 year old! My experience watching, for example xhamster reveals: the moaning sounds (usually female/ almost never male) are all dubbed. Much of the time, the males are barely erect. And, lacking synthetic lubrication, all that jackhammer thrusting would surely result in skin abrasion/burn. The site Xhamster, invites comments about the "action." The "adults" doing so, respond with, e.g., "yeah, tear that p... up," "i love to hear her scream," "she is going to be pregnant with all that black seed in her," "just what every "w...e" woman needs, a bbc, the best." Oh, I know it's all supposed to be a fantasy, Yet there is a division of opinion about implants. I don't understand what possible erotic satisfaction accrues to the voyeurr from watching overweight men (which 80% of the male "performers" are) almost suffocating the woman under him, or laying there like a disinterested robot for oral "service?" So, to say addiction ensues, is, I think, a faulty assumption. And, that more extensive analysis is needed. Only a teenager would find such "satisfying." Or, someone, terribly inadequate.
F$CK YOU Naomi Wolf, not for expressing your opinion and taking advantage of an appalling offer by CNN to publish this clearly contentious and inadequate cited piece, but because you call yourself a "political activist". F$CK YOU personally, regardless of your opinions - as US bipartisan gridlock, World Civil Rights inequality and politically instigated wars plague the people - because your silly little brain told your flippantly flicking fingers to type SHIT all over the people actually harmed by noteworthy global political malfeasances. YOU MAKE ME SICK and so does CNN.
Porn makes men angry..... Angry at women. No need for a study– just read through the replies here.
No, that's neither fair nor accurate. There is, sadly, a lot of frustration and venom evidenced here, but through the long history of mankind you will have seen equal numbers of men spewing at their frustration and bitterness, long before the invention of porn as we know it. Basically what is being said by many men here is, "I want and need women but women don't want or need me to the same degree.. or they make me humiliate myself in order to get sex and affection.. and now they want to disparage and take away the substitute I am forced to resort to in order to keep my sanity. Porn doesn't make me crazy – illusive and deceptive women do."
One final comment: It would be lazy thinking to assume that every man who enjoys porn is a bad, selfish lover, a brute who only thinks of his own excessive needs.
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So this explains why women buy countless romance novels (by the 100's) – nothing news here, and anything can be addictive – and put one into a gratification spiral. Moderation people ... besides ... unless they were watching porn on a cell phone while driving, this is one addiction that doesn't usually end in car crashes (drinking / drugs) or cancer (smoking). I also would have to say that evolution did a hell of a lot of wiring the human brain for seeking out sex for millions of years before now – what it didn't evolve out was acting stupidly about it ...
Dexter: In 1999 my fiance and I had just met in college in Arizona. He and I were in my bed together in my apartment alone and he rolled over and asked me if I minded if he mastrabated. I can remember the ugliness on his face while he was doing it and a sort of look and feeling from him of intent and resolve. I felt sad while he was doing it. We were in my bed and I wanted to be with him. He did not need to be mastrabating.
Yo: I have not read romance novels since I was in the 6th grade.
I think that pop culture has gotten worse. Lady Gaga replaced Sting, Pink, Eminem and Brittney Spears and MTV shows single or young moms all day now taking care of their babies instead of playing music. It is really sad.
And you know about all of these shows because you are tuning in watching them, even if only in contempt. Supply meets demand.
If the beauty pageants of 6 year old girls (like the murdered Jon Bonet) teach us anything, it's that mothers encourage their daughters to become, sexy, dumb whores who offer pussy as a market commodity and a tool to get what they want. Parallel to this are the Disney fantasies about finding Prince Charming (hence, the romance novels). American women are ruined from the moment they pop out of the womb, which is why more American men choose foreign women who don't share the cultural taint.
Also, you should have been using your hands, mouth or other places to please your man instead of him masturbating. The fact that he was doing so proves nothing about pornography, but more that you were a passionless, cold fish.
These guys would not be in trouble if it weren't for society's puritanical attitudes toward sex. It is society's sexual hang-ups that need to be changed, not consenting adult porn.
As far as porn being addictive, an addiction is an ever-increasing physical dependency. Sudden withdrawal from a drug to which one is addicted can cause convulsions (the DTs) and possibly death. I never heard of anyone having convulsions because of withdrawal from porn. I know men who can take porn or leave it. They do not suffer withdrawal and they do not get into trouble.
The author is mistaking a plausible explanation for a proven cause. Neurochemistry is the fashionable explanation now, just as psychoanalysis was 50 years ago. That does not mean it is right, any more than psychoanalysis was right.
Unless a guy suffers from OCD, even a young, horny guy will probably not need to beat it more than a few times a day. The average guy will beat it maybe once a day or every other day. In other words, an "addiction" to masturbating to porn is less severe than say, an addiction of having to eat three square meals a day.
Feminists have always been difficult to deal with. Not because of their views, but because of their "chip on the shoulder" attitude. However, apart from the minority who are radical lesbians, most feminists want a man in their life. Before the present glut of porn, men were more driven to seek out and make compromises with these kinds of women for the promise of sex, and these same (feminist) women used their pussies as tools for leverage and control. In today's world these same men may still want real sex with a partner, but are more easily satisfied of their urges and less willing to deal with all the normal BS that women in general, and feminist women, in particular, dish out as the price to be paid for sex. Notice I said, "price to be paid" because at the end of the day, women ALL barter their booty for a price, be it marriage, control, or hard cash.
Feminists recognize that the rules have changed because they are feeling the squeeze of not being able to find "suitable" partners (i.e. compliant to their wishes and control). It's only natural that they should now attack what they see as the cause: pornography.
Please leave your tip in the jar.
In ancient civilizations, prostitutes worked in temples. In other words, their work was sacred and worthy of occurring in the holiest of places. Their value for soothing and cooling men's natural passions, so they would be good, productive citizens, instead of unruly, violent troublemakers was recognized. These empires eventually fell anyway, but mostly because of the greed and ambition of their leaders to gain more and more power, prestige, land, subjects/slaves for themselves in endless wars when these same men became savages since their sexual needs and testosterone went unchecked.
There are plenty of women who love sex, random sex with plentiful guys. Porn proves this. Yes, these women are doing it primarily for money, but many also love the work and escort on the side, screwing even more guys. These kind of women should become our "Temple Prostitutes" who take care of the sexual needs of our citizenry (with the exception of males who choose and are satisfied with a monogamous partner). I believe in giving the women equal rights to access male escorts for the same purposes. This can be done in a way that prevents STDs and unwanted pregnancies from occurring.
Actually, of all the guys I ever knew have picked up an STD, it was always from some girl they picked up at a bar, party, nightclub, etc. or even from their girlfriend or wife. I never knew of a guy who picked up an STD or suffered any kind of drama from sleeping with a professional escort (I'm excluding desperate, AIDs-ridden crack whore who walk the streets and will screw anything unprotected for a few dollars).
Think about it.
Thank you Ms. Wolf for this article, and bringing further attention to the growing problem of pornography addiction. As a member of the 12 step organization "Sex Addicts Anonymous" (SAA, saa-recovery.org), I wish to comment on this article's statement: "Understanding how pornography affects the brain and wreaks havoc on male virility permits people to make better-informed choices". My experience in using strategies of self-knowledge to manage my resolve to abstain from pornography always fell short. Understanding *why* I am addicted, while insightful, did not stop me from engaging in this behavior for any considerable length of time. I wish to share this experience in case there are others reading, who may use pornography in an addictive fashion. For those of us in SAA: self-knowledge, religious or spiritiual conviction, various forms of hypnosis or psychotherapy, staying "on guard" against our "triggers", sheer will-power, treating porn use as a "sin", and many other strategies to manage our resolve to abstain from porn did not work. For me and several thousand other men and women, working the 12 steps brought about a real freedom from this addiction. Should you find yourself hopeless one day, look for us or any of the sex-related 12 step fellowships. Thank you!
Bottom line is that if you were enjoying a satisfying sex life you would not be seeking out pornography. A satisfying sex life might involve sex with a variety of suitable women. We are not, as a gender, hard-wired for monogamy. We are hard-wired to seek out young, sexy (i.e. healthy) females who just happen to be at the peak of their fertility. We are compelled to seek out as many as we can. If this is addiction they so are all of our other human behaviors and perhaps I should attend a 12-step program for my addiction of needing to piss?
You are sexually frustrated, so you turn to the stimulus that is a close approximation to the kind of sex you want: raw, no-strings passion with full release with a variety of sexy young women. Your culture makes this all but impossible unless you are very rich or a celebrity or just drop-dead gorgeous to women.
Maybe you should examine the cultural causes and social mores which lead to your frustration instead of seeing your normal sexual impulses as some kind of disease.
I wonder if feminists have a 12-step addiction program for buying shoes?
I wanted to add one more comment regarding the most typical counterargument against prostitution. Namely, that it encourages the trafficking/exploitation of young women. This is a bogus argument. ANY activity which promises fast, easy money will create a black market, whether or not it's legal. The black market for bootleg alcohol was HUGE during prohibition and made a hero out of Al Capone. When booze became legal again, there was much less incentive to bootleg because the supply went way up. The Mob got out of the booze business and went into other areas where demand was greater than supply (i.e. drugs/prostitution). Again, if you legalize and regulate prostitution, it gives the Mafia less incentive to be a player in the market because supply will drive down profits relative to having to manage more and more girls.
There are a small handful of people who will try to sell stolen property (e.g. electronic gadgets) on the black market, but there's so much cheap, legitimate supply that only the most desperate of criminals even try doing this. But when that's not the case, as in the former U.S.S.R. then the black market greatly expands and flourishes.
Bottom line is that legal prostitution=trafficking of girls is a straw-man argument meant to shame men into seeking monogamous relationships with "legitimate" partners.
Evolution making it so, maybe?
We're probably one of the more sexually repressed cultures in the world, as a review of the foregoing can attest. It seems we'd rather express a "point of view" than open ourselves up to new experiences by recognizing how little we understand about human sexuality. Too bad we prefer judging to experiencing.
Such a dumb piece. Porn does not drive men crazy. The problem is that to counter the terrible discrimination that used to exist, that kept women down, we have gone to the opposite extreme, where men are expected to adhere to the standards imposed on them by women, and adhere to their norms. But while monogamy might appeal to many women, it runs counter to male biology. Male biology drives us to want to spread ourselves as wide as possible. True, we should never go back to a male chauvinistic world. But that doesn't mean men should act like women, nor pretend to have the exact same biological drives. We will not correct the problems of a male-dominated world by replacing it with a female-dominated world. The best world is one that achieves balance, by sharing all things (including power) equally with women.
Sharing power equally with women is exactly what Naomi Wolf is attacking (via her straw man anti-pornography arguments). Power is best shared equitably on the open market (i.e. women having the option to trade their sexuality for financial gain via porn or prostitution). The reason there is so much porn in the world is that young women are literally beating down the doors of major porn studios to participate and profit from this line of work. There simply are not enough organized gangs in the world to account for the haters' "exploitation" argument...surely they represent a percentage of supply, albeit a minuscule one.
More and more women want to barter themselves on the open market...they find it empowering in their own ways for their own reasons...they don't want to be relegated to an office or housewife/soccer mom duties as in the past...they have options to financially profit and live independent lives...that's equality. But none of that is possible unless there's an opposite side to the trade (i.e. demand). Men want the power to access these services. Allowing males and females to trade in a free market empowers and shares that power equitably between the genders. Naomi Wolf would have you believe otherwise...that the empowerment of women to trade a unit of value (i.e. their sexuality, real or simulated) is what's driving men crazy (i.e. is the root of all evil).
I really hope Naomi can settle down with a nice girl someday and find a real profession, since what men do with their penises is currently too much of a weighty concern upon her distorted mind.
pornography: Explicit representation of sexual activity in literature. + looking. If looking offends you, don't look. Looking at regular pornography is and should be considered normal. Let it go...
Porn is wrong, but it helps u get off faster so u can sleep so it has a purpose. I am glad I am gay so I don't see women as objects but feel sad when they are abused. Like that guy who wants a bondage barge just sounds scary.Most gay porn is nice co-equal like belamionline. Men are beautiful, and beautiful when they are together. But porn is not good for the soul so you should work to give it up bit by bit. You don't want to be a old perv. It's undignified. Being an old gay guy is hard enough; and for heterosexuals who have all the advantages like not getting murdered for expressing themselves in public you should really be ashamed.
Getting murdered in public for being gay? Where do you live? Pakistan? We just had a gay parade last weekend. Lots of gays expressing themselves publicly...didn't see anyone get murdered. Get over your victim complex.
The LORD wants a humble and contrite heart. From what I have seen of the world, I know that women are ALWAYS going to have more respect for football jocks and cocaine dealers than they do for any man who tries to be a decent human being. I believe that most of the world's problems are caused by the evil things that a man HAS to do if he wants to get respect from women. That is probably why the LORD expected for women to be silent in the church. If a man tries to be humble, pornography is the only substitute for love that he is going to find.
I think the real problem is that we are so sexually repressed in this country. Which is ironic considering we make the most (and best?) porn in the world but we are most likely the most repressed country in the western world. We *thought* we saw a woman's bare chest a few years ago on t.v. and we, as Lewis Black said, "Lost our g*****n minds"
Go figure
Why are you criticizing and stereotyping men? At least men aren't falsely accusing the French ambassador of rape, or murdering their toddlers so they can party for 55 days.
You feminists see only what you want to see.
If you’re shocked at how morally blind the average porn addict sounds, you really shouldn’t be. Pornography is (for some reason) so poisonous to the human psyche that it eventually completely erodes the ability for it’s fans to see ANYTHING the right way—it’s like they’ve been turned inside out, where bad is good, and good is bad. If you peruse the different porn addiction sites, like PornFree.org, you see that being morally impaired is right up there on the list of various damages that porn addicts suffer. This is how someone goes from Playboy to Hustler to teen sites to pre-teen and on downward. This is why you never hear anyone say “Porn has just gotten way too rough and disgusting—I really can’t support it any more.“ This is why people who wake up and figure out that they’re being ruined by it struggle HARD to extricate themselves from it, and often never get free of it no matter how hard they try. This is why the porn gets worse and worse and worse every year that goes by, and why the first big porno movies like I Am Curious Yellow from the early 70’s practically look like Disney movies at this point. Pornography
corrodes society, and people actually used to know things like this because when I was young, people used to frequently marvel at how they had sex with young children in ancient Rome, and they couldn’t believe that that particular society didn’t realize that this was wrong, and that it would eventually lead to their downfall. Nowadays no one even says anything about porn in general conversation—probably because they feel like it would be politically incorrect to make any sort of value judgment of it at all. The child pornography stats are going through the roof, with more and more of the child porn being violent, and with younger and younger children (even, unbelievably, with babies), with more of these poor kids being filmed by their own parents than ever before. If you think that regular adult porn has nothing to do with child porn, you’re wrong, because many people who start out looking only at adults just keep looking for something younger and younger until they’ve finally become a full-fledged bottom feeder looking at kiddie porn. I don’t think child pornography developed in a vacuum, it was legitimized by the very existence of Playboy to begin with—like the Chester the Molester cartoons. Once people have been given the green light to objectify men and women, then all bets are off—for everyone.
Once you’ve decided that adult women are free to do whatever they want with their bodies, no matter how alarming, it’s an easy road down until you think it can’t be too prohibitively bad to get the older teen involved—plus if young is better than middle aged or old, then young and even very young is so much the better. Every time I hear a porn addict railing against anyone who thinks that pornography is bad for society or is emotionally and mentally damaging, it only sounds to me like the whole of society is being simply flushed down the toilet. Everything we hold dear—physical and emotional safety, human respect, high ideals—all gone, and replaced with absolutely nothing of any real value. Once you get rid of these things that make society livable, you have a very difficult time re-establishing anything good again—it took a long time to make this society, and back 150 years ago, many people regularly examined their behavior daily in order to be aware of any little fault (or big fault), and they saw being a decent person (what decent USED to mean) as their duty to society and to God. That’s what we’re living in now—a society that can thank it’s forbearers for the decency that we still enjoy—when this is gone, only the Mad Max types who like the idea of a collapsed society will find it fun and exciting.
Oh geez, here we go again, yet another case of "Whatever it is, it must be the guy's fault".... and now it's all backed up by "Science"! Whether it's the "Creationism", "the Free Market", Fundamentalism, Tea Parties, or "Feminism", I will be so glad when we're done with this weird period where it seems everyone has some sort of "ism" or "ideology" now they have to "prove".
Covering all your bases, eh?
Hey whats the real issue here? Some men like the safety of Porn or their partner seems to not like sex. Yes The US is still looking at sex as something dirty. But then some look at it as a cheep thrill. mmmmmm me thinks sex ed was lacking in the schools!
Ever read a romance novel? its XXX! the only diff is no pictures! Plus I buy Novels by Nin, Miller, and DeSade for the sexy stuff! Yes I'ma naughty girl and my hubby loves it!!!!!
Your hubby is a lucky man... keep it up. If more women would admit they like a little spice and kink in their lives men might not feel so guilty and irritable as a result.
I really feel for all the bitter angry guys who posted on this article. I'm so sorry you've been burned so hard to make you hate half of humanity. I fight with my own demons of hate as well. Its natural. But I know I am a flawed human, and 1/7billionth of humanity, thus, I cannot claim I understand it.
Honestly, men are designed for multiple partners, with a wavering sense of commitment based off of ego and self esteem. Its just the way they are designed, or at least that is what we have been told. So, lets seperate the family structure and concept of love from sex. Women no longer need to rely on a marriage to care for children, and no longer need marriage to define their respect in society, so why all the fuss about feminism? It is a perfect design in the fact that it allows men to freely move about from partner to partner, and women to no longer rely on him as a breadwinner. Ladies, if you want children, do not confuse this urge with "love" for a man. Get a job and an education to provide for your children. If men were truly designed to devote themselves to a family, we would have a flood of topics about it. I mean, this may make us feel uncomfortable, but that doesn't necessarily make it not true. The universe is a cold unfeeling place.
Time To Move On (posted above): If you were a LDS then you would know that God created men to have one soul mate.
You are all extremely f***ed up people. Watching others have sex is creepy, and soul decaying. You all need some serious will power, because you who watch porn are horrible people.
Your views are creepier. Please go away so the grown-ups can talk.
Without porn, women would have TOO much power. They already stupidly, ignorantly, arrogantly, doubled the work force. Now the fallout is too much fun for them to complain about. ALL women must work in order for families to be equal, and look what they've done to the kids! Left to be raised by the govt. BUT OH NO ITS THE MENS FAULT.
Preston – why do you fault women for wanting to provide for family? I'm sorry to tell you this, but for every spouse that deserts the family for "something better," the leftover spouse needs to survive. Survival is a deeper drive than the need for multiple partners. Men have a need to procreate, women have a drive to have surviving children. Pretty simple, actually.
There's a natural order to the universe. Voting to make women 'equal' to men is about as effective in practice as voting to bring back dinosaurs. Sorry if you don't like it. It's nature.
Ah yes, the natural order for men to create a "fantasy" woman. Tis a fantasy world indeed!
Women of the human species are not all like you. Ever heard of the 'slut gene'? some men prefer that to women like you all dry and crusty. It is natural. Stop being so dry, get off your high horse, and change your tampon. You make me sick with your delusions of grandeur. Be happy with having a vagina and stfu.
I'm not on my period, but thanks for your concern! I am happy I have a vagina, but I've dealt with decades of self loathing as well. Its tough being human.
behind every son there's a mother.
Those are some of the hottest p0rn vids out there, dude! Strap-on Discipline III was my favorite.
MIT's Knight News Tracker takes on Naomi Wolf and the science of porn
http://blogs.nature.com/boston/2011/07/05/knight-news-tracker-takes-on-naomi-wolf-and-the-science-of-porn
For my critique of Wolf's post, see the Knight Science Journalism Tracker:
Naomi Wolf wrongly dresses up her opinions as scientific facts
http://ksjtracker.mit.edu/2011/07/05/naomi-wolf-wrongly-dresses-up-her-opinions-as-scientific-facts/
Naomi Wolf wrongly dresses up her opinions as scientific facts
LOL @ trying to counter and defeat chick logic on a science blog. Do you really think you're gonna make Naomi or any other self-serving feminist cry, "Uncle" with some random blog post?? Or maybe you're just one of the little fish swimming alongside the bigger fish to garner some attention and feed your ego?
Naomi gets paid to pull traffic in with her articles. Done. She also gets paid for publishing controversial views which challenge what she deems, "the patriarchy" and sells them to other head-nodding feminazis.
What's the counter hit total on your crappy blog? Two hits? LOL @ blogfail
I wonder when the dyke grrls over at Jizzabel will head on over and throw in their two cents, so the rest of us can have a laugh?
I will NEVER see the opinion of a porn addict on the subject of pornography as being anything other than perfectly useless. Anyone who can defend a media that produces more and more degrading fare, with more rape, more torture, and with more children (that just get younger and younger) every year is in a totally unreachable emotional and mental hinterland—I have a very, very hard time seeing these people as still being morally sane. They just patently aren’t.
It doesn’t matter how intelligent they sound, or how unintelligent they sound, how respectful they sound, or how mocking and disrespectful they sound—they just all sound like people who’ve been taken hostage by their lust, and now speak for it—that’s all I hear.
And as for “But this is a free country”, etc.—yes, it’s a free country that is perfectly free to jettison it’s previously high moral standards that made us the light of the world, transforming ourselves into the one who extinguishes that light, with the complete disintegration of our own society, too, because we’re delusional enough to believe that degrading OUR OWN women (and children and men) won’t come back to bite us on the boo-boo eventually—lets all give that a big round of applause.
You’re emotionally and mentally damaged idiots.
I would say that watching hardcore porn for a man is as destructive as a woman watching a Jennifer Anniston chick flick. Each has its own lows of seeking true purpose in it's goals and woman are just as desensitized as men from this.
Here we have another "expert" claiming to have special knowledge of what constitutes "balanced" sexuality...here's a thought Ms. Expert–maybe it's society that is out of balance? Maybe Americans have equated everything associated with sexuality as BAD and everything associated with violence and aggression as GOOD? I have travelled overseas extensively and I guarantee you the rest of the world doesn't view sexuality as inherently bad as many Americans do.
Maybe Americans (and especially American women) are the most asexual, sexually repressed people on the planet? With the possible exception of Muslim women, I can't think of another more repressed group as American women. Maybe the growing inability of American women to achieve orgasm during coitus is a result of an inability to find beauty and peace in their own sexuality? Perhaps in a race to become socio-economic equals to men, American women have lost their femininity and by extension, their sexuality? Perhaps growing American male interest in porn has more to do with a desire to identify with a truly FEMININE woman versus the masculinized asexual American woman of today?
Just maybe? Just perhaps?
I'm a red blooded American Woman, and I can assure you, I. Like. Sex. Love might be appropriate. Whats with all the dudes blaming women? Are you saying American women are "bad porn?". Dude. Harsh. Does that line get you laid?
Naomi fudges the science of dopamine in her analysis and her whole argument falls apart because of it:
http://mindhacks.com/2011/07/04/naomi-wolf-porn-and-the-misuse-of-dopamine/
I just love the mocking, woman-hating, disrespectful tone of the less verbally gifted porn addicts—their complete fearlessness and certainty of there not being any significant price to pay for the viewing of pornography is virtually astounding, to say the least. I also like it when people give that old “I’ve been into pornography (or prostitution) for the past 20 years—if it really was wrong, then I would certainly know it by now” (or even “then God would have shown me by now”). This makes the erroneous assumption that they would feel worse, not better, about it as time went on. Actually, sin ALWAYS feels worst at the beginning—like an exotic dancer will feel very naked and uncomfortable dancing in front of strangers at first, but after a week or two it feels not quite as bad, then eventually it seems just great, and even “empowering”. ALL sin acts in exactly this way on everyone, where your conscience is loudest at first, and then it’s a little less and a little less, until you hear nothing at all. I’m sure many porn addicts have heard nothing at all from their consciences in many a year. This is not any indication of the “rightness” or harmlessness of pornography, but only the dubious gift of having your conscience completely give up on you because no one is listening. To feel that you’ve achieved something morally desirable because you can’t feel guilty any more about something that used to make you feel guilty, and being so lame-brained as to even be arrogant about it, is the height of complete and utter spiritual stupidity.
I love the way porn addicts defend pornography—if you’re a man who’s never had a “real girlfriend”, or a man who never even wanted a real girlfriend, or a man who dumped his real girlfriend because she refused to live with the porn, then pornography is the answer to all of your prayers—an unlimited banquet of lust to feast on indefinitely—and what has to be best of all, no annoying woman hanging around, cluttering up your life to harsh your buzz. It actually becomes the porn addict’s “wife”, and they will defend her the way that real men used to come to the defense of a real women’s honor—no one better EVER say anything about their “wife”, or you’ve WAY over-stepped your bounds, buddy. Funny how something so insidiously negative and damaging to individuals and to society at large becomes the only thing that these men would probably risk it all to defend—it would be almost laughable, if it wasn’t all so tragically and depressingly sad.
To assume that you can completely trash your moral sense in one area (like if your searches have names like “Asian Bondage” or even “Schoolgirl Rape”), and you still think that you’ve got the full moral sense in every other area of your life, and that this has absolutely NOTHING to do with anything else about you, then you’re truly living in a fools paradise, pull yourself up a deck chair. You can’t quarantine this sicker and darker part of yourself from the rest—it’s totally, humanly impossible. Pornography will eventually take ALL of your better qualities down with it, causing a growing, over-all erosion across the board, making you eventually into someone that no one but your other porn friends can even stand to associate with—everyone else will just being biding their time until you leave and the “air” clears. This is the part where you say “I never needed a wife or girlfriend anyway” when a wife or girlfriend would probably be the only one to tell you to get help. And you will look somehow “funny” to people, too, at least to those who are more sensitive—heavy porn addicts are so corrupted spiritually that their aura is actually visually dark–it’s as if you’re looking at them through a dusty screen door, and it’s hard to even keep your eyes on them when they’re talking, because the natural impulse is to keep looking away for some reason.
If I was a porn viewer reading here who still has any shame left, I mean even ANY at all, I would take that little bit of light and get myself to a porn addiction site, like PornFree.org, AS SOON AS POSSIBLE—just like I’d rush myself in a panic to the hospital if I cut a major artery. I would wrest what was left of what was good about myself up into the fresh air and get myself right before I couldn’t hear anything at all from my conscience anymore. There’s no shame in admitting that you’ve made a mistake in looking at pornography, because it’s so terribly pervasive—nowadays it’s like an open man-hole in front of everyone’s front door that anyone, male or female, can easily fall down into. God can forgive you of ANYTHING if you’re truly sorry—and if I felt like I wasn’t sufficiently sorry (or even sorry at all), and like I’d be lying to God if I said I was, I’d pray to God to give me the grace to BE sorry—which actually works, give it a try. It’s not too late for you until you are dead—then you will have to be stuck with whatever God feels you deserve for eternity. Are you really positive that there’s no God? That’s not what the demons say—thousands of ministers and qualified laypeople around the world exorcise demons every day, from people from all walks of life—if you’ve ever been present at an actual exorcism, you may have seen or heard the absolute proof of the presence of the demonic—like hearing multiple demonic voices coming out of a persons mouth simultaneously—I have, and it’s unbelievably creepy—nothing else can quite compare. Those who think there’s nothing “to” spirituality, and that there is no God and no real Heaven or Hell, I hate to break into your pleasant, cozy, little demonically sealed-off world and give you an unwanted clue, but there really IS a Holy and Righteous God, and if you think he’s going to give you a break because you didn’t fully realize when you were alive that he was real (or more likely that you didn’t want to believe he was real), then you’ve got a whole other thing coming. Absolutely, positively 100%. You can’t possibly “buck the system” of an Almighty God, because there’s absolutely nowhere else you can go to get away from Him—this isn’t a video game (or if it is, it’s HIS video game—not yours). You’re not going to get special treatment just because you’re you, and you think you’re an all-around acceptable person—He’s not going to judge you by your own opinion of yourself, so you can just forget about that. The demons themselves KNOW that there is a God, and often refer to Him, albeit disrespectfully, cussing and fuming Him (and the exorcist as well), as they are cast down in the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ, headlong into Hell. Yes, truly, and every day of the week, as unbelievably amazing as that seems (it sure as all heck stunned me at first). And you don’t even want to know what kind of sundry near-death experiences porn addicts have—many of them are absolutely horrifying.
People who don’t like porn, for any of the numerous excellent reasons, both Christian and Non-Christian, need to SPEAK UP in public—to their co-workers, neighbors, people they know at church, people they hang out with, family, friends—and let them know that you really don’t care for it and that YOU think that it ruins people, which it most undoubtedly does, there’s no question about it. If someone wants to attack you for feeling this way and having the gall to express it, then you can always tell them that you have every right to downright HATE it if you want, just like they have every right to look at it for 15 hours straight every single day if THEY want. And you’ll only have to say it once, because it’s such a taboo subject in “polite society” that they’ll most likely never forget that you said it. The vast majority of the people you know will rarely come to its defense anyway (I guess it would depend on your age), because the whole subject is so embarrassing, and the porn addicts in your life that you’re not already aware of will actually go out of their way afterwards to avoid you, just like cockroaches running when you turn on a light—you will lose absolutely nothing. Go ahead and take a stand for what you know is right—porn addicts are TRULY mentally and morally ill, just like they sound—they’re not just pretending to embrace it because they’re defending their pride, it’s that they really, honestly can’t see it for what it is anymore, if they ever could. If you’re one of those people who CAN see it for what it really is, then you need to stop trying to make your short life into a popularity contest and let someone, ANYONE around you know that for you, yourself, you just really don’t like it. This is where some kind of sanity about all this starts, this is the future of our whole society that we’re talking about, our kids and grandkids future—this is absolutely NO joke, and the extreme disrespect, mocking and vitriol expressed by some of these porn addicts here should be all the proof that you really need of this. Don’t be afraid of these guys—they’re emotionally, mentally, and spiritually sick people whose associated demons inspire their hate for anyone who might help them get away from it, and they are to be sincerely pitied, not feared.
In spite of the remarkably self-serving idiocy and the disrespectfully demonically-inspired venom of the average porn addict’s rants and little jibes, I have every right in the world to proclaim that I don’t like pornography, AND SO DO YOU.
Its because the bitches for women are using the hole as a weaqpon to control men so we are seeking other sources of pleasure other than cheating and women are just being haters
Time To Move On: I agree with you. A healthy sex life with a man that I was in love with used to keep me thin and happy too.
Only women seem to think they need to be "in love" to enjoy a healthy sex life...and that's part of the problem. Stop waiting and do what the hippies did, "love the one you're with".
I don't even believe in romantic love anymore, I think it has more to do with procreation and chemicals. Its made Hollywood billions, but its a weakening concept in our culture. Which is fine. Eventually, the only woman who will love a man for who he really is, is his mother. I question if men can even experience it given the fact that women are a commodity now.
TTMO, you are a seriously confused individual and a typical chick. You seem to intertwine love and sex as if they're inseparable and co-dependent. I have lots of people in my life who love me, including my mother. Some of the people who love me are male and some female. What's that got to do with wanting to fuck someone for pleasure, fun and physical release? I don't need to combine the two...I go to certain people to feel love and other people to enjoy sex. Open your mind up and think.
Question – do women use their sexuality for personal gain? Question – Does Porn pose a direct threat to womens sexuality being as affective? Question – Why is it mainly women who have a problem with porn?
No other 'great ape' species is monogamous. None of them. So... why would we think the 'brainy ape' would be? Men (as a group as there will be exceptions) are not wired to be sexually monogamous. Yet we have socially and culturally tried to force them all into this role in the 'Puritan' cultures of western Europe, thus the USA as well. They seek the 'variability' they are wired for and then get castigated for it. *shrug* It is what it is, but do not expect an artificial behavior without 'stress' on the person behaving 'artificially'.
Its fine for men to believe they are hardwired for short term fixes with women, but then they can't get upset when women reject them from the relationship or family home to move on to something better. As I said earlier, if men were hardwired for family, the internet would be crawling with family advice for men. Instead, its saturated in porn. Women are hardwired for multiple partners as well. There's nothing special about the male sexuality, just a massive monopoly in our culture based on perceived male dominance (or male insecurity, depending on your view.)
Don't kid yourself. Women predominately still promote the cultural value for monogamy, though for economic, not sexual reasons. Women still promote (and pressure guys into) marriage for the same reasons. If the women of the world said, "forgot marriage and monogamy" let's just take things as they come, most men would have no problem with that (except the religious wackos). On the other hand, most women want to wear that pretty white dress and fulfil their adolescent fantasies; they want kids; and they want economic benefits and social status. Women calculate marriage as the best path for that and monogamy as the best way to keep control over their man. But I agree with you in that women are whores and want random sex just as much as men. The difference is that women are generally more clever in covering their tracks when they cheat and better at leading a double life.
Men get trapped into marriage? Men still control this country!! Lmao. Not sure I understand this one area of weakness, doesn't compute. Given how much you claim women use marriage, then why do so many of them want to leave? 75% of divorces are initiated by women, and more than half of American women now live alone. Men have their porn, women *finally* have economic freedom....sounds like you got your wish. And for the record, nothing is hotter than banging a man like the dirty whore he is.
I didn't say women were trapped in marriage. Women are confused and don't know what the hell they want most of the time. It doesn't surprise me at all that a girl would cave into her Barbie Doll / Walt Disney / Romance Novel / Chick Flick fantasies, coupled with her ovulation cycle compelling her to breed, that she would push some poor sucker down the aisle to legitimize her offspring and help support them, then grow disillusioned when (the lesbian) Oprah convinces her that she's a victim and so she decides to divorce and free herself again. Did the Sex and the City slut bimbos all eventually get married by the end of their latest crappy movie? I know all their shows and films were written by gay men, but still, the message is that marriage is the ultimate and preferred goal a woman should pursue.
I suggest you put your money where your mouth is and get off your computer, find some decent guy walking his dog and invite him back to your place for an afternoon of no-strings, carefree pleasure.
Lmao! You're cute. Sorry you've met too many bimbos. I suggest you avoid the needy types and find a woman who doesn't treat you like a means to an end. Although I would, but for a different end. Peace out brother.
Every sex scandal involves more than one party – this article focuses on males but perhaps the focus is better placed on the other party. When one considers the recent popularity of "celebrity sex tapes" (not just sexual scandal but actual making of pornography) among young celebrity women, I think one is forced to consider that it is perhaps women that engaging in new behaviors, and not men.
Pornography is just a natural evolution of man's need for sex. A small percentage of guys just can't control themselves and they end up like Representative Weiner and others who've been caught. Human Beings have had sexual urges since the beginning. Guys even more. It's natural. I'd rather see my son's looking at porn and managing their urges than getting married at an early age and then divorced and hurt. Pornography is a useful tool when used right. Kinda like 1 glass of wine a day is good for your heart but a whole bottle is just wrong. Sexual predators however – they need to be eliminated permamently. they are like wild animals who've tasted human blood. They need to be put down.
*shudder*are those the only two options for guys? Marriage or porn? Lol! No wonder so many guys hate women and marriage. Let me tell you this – when women get dumped or rejected, its usually because she's not sexually attractive enough, right? The most commen excuse is she's too fat, I know that's a favorite. Have any of the porn jocks out there actually looked in the mirror and wonder why they're not getting sex? Men will lose their evolutionary ability to attract a mate. Women join weight watchers....
Smart.
Any of you women here reading this—if you think we can have a society where pornography is considered some kind of harmless entertainment, even after year after year of it being consumed by millions of men day in and day out, and that the crime of rape is going to mean ANYTHING eventually—then you’re living in a box. If you think the average man eventually will care one whit whether you’ve been raped or not, or even believe you, then you have WAY more faith in the goodness of human nature than I do, because I just see this kind of wholesale degradation of women as being an ever-growing problem, and when men in general don’t think rape is any big deal, or even see it as good, then your rape will just be something they only wish they hadn’t missed seeing.
And if you think your kids and grandkids world is going to be a safe, healthy one with tons of pornography being consumed every day, that’s something else you can forget about. Child porn is going through the roof, and it’s more violent every year, and the ages of the children are getting younger and younger, right down to little babies, and more of them are being filmed by their own parents. This is what you get when you have something that’s as addictive as meth that is basically free for someone to consume as much as they want to of it—something that also just happens to destroy any moral sense that that person might have. Do you want a world where women and children are used for the pleasure of men for everything under the sun, without anyone thinking that women and children need to be protected from this? Since when is the sexuality of men something so sacred that we‘re going to let our society be drawn down into this Hell that porn makes—and who said men even NEED anything like this—if men are too stupid to see that this complete slavery to sex won’t be good for society, then women need to start saying something about it. It’s not going to go away, but it at least “it” needs to know it has SOME opposition. Don’t be quiet about it—let people KNOW that you definitely don’t like it, and that if it was up to you that it would vanish from the earth—that should get someone’s attention.
And another thing—you women out there who are actually IN pornography—I hope you get right with the Lord, too, just like the porn consumers—because your afterlife is just as dark-looking as theirs is. Thanks to you we have God knows how many women doing any stupid disgusting thing these perverts want to see—rape, anal rape, gang rape, torture, getting penetrated by I don’t even want to know what—and the bar just keeps getting lower all the time. Don’t tell me you like it—you like the fame, the admiration of your body, the money—and no woman has to be in front of a camera to get a man to have sex with her, so you certainly don’t have that excuse. You’re right there being 50% of the problem, because without you, there would be nothing to look at. All this does is make it look as if giving women the right to do anything with their bodies is like giving your 7-year-old the keys to your Cadillac. Thank you for making the whole world, for women and children and some men, into a less safe place.
And you poor women who are addicted to pornography—if this isn’t the saddest testament of all—that women could be actually ADDICTED to seeing other women despoiled by men in pornography—shame on you. Thanks to you, men can just point your way, and give themselves one more reason to think porn is only good wholesome fun, because even women indulge in it. Please get yourself to a good porn addiction site, like PornFree.org, and just take a look at the list of things that porn addicts suffer from—it will open your eyes, if you aren’t like these idiots on here that are male who can’t see one single thing wrong with it because their consciences were seared off by it a long time ago. Do this for YOURSELF—try to realize that porn destroys someone’s ability to love other people, and if you’re like most women, you’re not going to be too happy in the long run with no love in your life.
I’ll be getting off my soap box, now—see ya’ll later!
I bet your masturbate furiously to the thought of the unrighteous (i.e. people with opposing viewpoints) burning in hell for all eternity. Your kind has been raping and butchering and financially exploiting people all over the world for millennia right up to the present day. So, take your religious nonsense back to your trailer park, you dumb, toothless hillbilly.
I don't think male impulses are changing, but the transparency of the world is – so it's just harder for anyone to have secrets of any kind from wikileaks to offensive comments, to extramarital affairs.
Live the Dream!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2011449/Disney-Alfred-Angelo-launch-Princess-inspired-wedding-dress-collection.html
To any men here reading this that like pornography—you have honestly got to be kidding. You really can’t see anything significantly wrong with pornography—what planet are you on??? You consider yourself intelligent? A good citizen? Please, give me a break. Your stupidity is truly overwhelming, and it makes me wonder if I can simplify this down to your level, since your brain doesn’t seem to go all the way to the top floor, but I’ll give it a try. I’d start with the old saw “Would you want your daughter (or wife or mother) to be in pornography”, but thanks to porn being so main stream for the past 30 years, no one cares about this aspect of it anymore for some reason, so it would fall on deaf ears. Isn’t that sad—oh, I’m sorry, I forgot that you don’t have the full range of emotions anymore, so I’ll have to try something else.
Do you believe that women, adult women, have every right to do anything they want with their bodies? No matter how sick or degrading? How sick can all this go, eventually—is there any bottom to this that you won’t go past? Have you decided that you’re morally superior to those you know who’s taste in pornography is lower than yours—like if you won’t look at bestiality or scat porn, but you like faux rape porn, does this make you a better person, in your mind? At what point does the rest of society say you’ve gone far enough and that this needs to stop, for everyone else’s moral, physical and spiritual safety? Do you like anal sex? If you do, you’re probably not on the receiving end, right? And what is it that you like most about it, does it remind you of your good ol’ days back in the pen, when you had to make do with another man’s anus? No? Then why would you want to do this with a woman, or see it done to a woman? I’m just trying to figure all this out here, I really am. I have always found the anal sex thing really, REALLY puzzling—as a married man, I haven’t once wanted to do this with my wife, and I find it completely bizarre that any man would do this voluntarily to anyone, especially a man who’s not in prison. This is a practice that originally was made popular in 1980’s porn mags—the big “scoop” then was “The pleasures of anal sex—are YOU missing out?”, and millions of half-witted men who should have already known that this is usually something that is seen as a “last resort” and was only being done widely by men in prison (or homosexuals), that were then stupidly inspired to bug their wives, girlfriends and whores to engage in this with them, when it was previously way more rarely done in straight society. Health problems were immediately seen from this—doctors and hospitals started seeing a rise in anal tears, blood disorders resulting from e. coli contamination, and men who’s urinary tract is inflamed with e. coli–and now 30 years later these things are seen as perfectly “normal” problems in the straight community. Insane. If you’re a man who sees anal sex as a good thing, I suggest you ask a woman to strap one on, and give it to you, so you, too, can experience the extreme pleasure of having a hole in your body made for evacuation that has absolutely no real sexual use penetrated repeatedly by another person. If it doesn’t feel good at first, just keep on trying, you’ll get used to it, and maybe even like it eventually—you know the drill. Don’t let yourself miss out on this wonderful experience—I mean, why should the women have all the fun. If you can’t see that this is not right, and that this takes sexuality down to a lower level that is all-around less healthy for society (in a number of ways, the physical aspect being only one of them), then you have the sophistication and depth-perception of the average 5 year old. And if you’re encouraging your wife or girlfriend to engage in you with this, and you know that she’s less than thrilled to do it, and does it only to make you happy—then you don’t even deserve a wife or a girlfriend—at all.
Do you like rape? Like the kind you see in pornography—is this your particular preference? It’s ok because the girl signs a waiver before, right? Like they say, “I (or we) are going to pretend to rape you—please sign this here so we can start filming.” Many women who sign a waiver then get actually raped or gang-raped, and they have absolutely NO legal recourse afterwards, and, needless to say, they don’t usually see being a “porno star” as being quite as desirable a goal afterwards. Since there is always another female Einstein ready to do this for an assortment of very poor reasons, one of them being vanity and another one being a pathetic desire for attention, which many, many women seem to really suffer from, there will never be any shortage of this sort of fare for the general public. Nice. I hate to startle you, but not only is rape wrong, but even faux rape is wrong—any media that makes an act of rape, whether real or artificial, into anything that would make it seem pleasurable to anyone, is nothing but a horrible affront to God, and a complete death-sentence for having any kind of a safe society. If you think there is ANYTHING ok about this, I wouldn’t want your afterlife for not only anything in the world, but anything in the entire universe. If you can’t see the wrongness of making the raping of a woman into entertainment, then I hope you get some serious help very soon, like by going to the PornFree.org website and taking a look at the various effects porn has on the human mind and soul. I bet you didn’t start out looking at rape porn, and you might have even been someone originally that didn’t even like the idea of rape. Please get some help for yourself, SOON—or your afterlife is going to be very, very sorry indeed. I personally feel that anyone who finds it impossible to see the rightness of what I just said probably actually BELONGS in Hell after they die, but I have way less compassion for the average porn addicted idiot than God does. If you say you’re sorry, and sincerely want to change (and if you’re so far gone you can only see the rightness of this in an abstract sense, and feel no real guilt, just pray to God that He will provide you with some shame–it actually works), God will forgive you, and if you struggle to stay away from pornography from now on, God will take your sincere efforts into consideration when you die—if you do absolutely nothing to help make yourself more acceptable to God concerning this issue, then you will be thrown into Hell like a piece of trash being burned up in an ash can (except the difference will be that it lasts forever), because an Almighty God will not tolerate you ever even having any CHANCE of getting your sorry behind into His Heaven. You’ve totally disqualified yourself. To watch someone get raped. Pathetic.
That’s enough for now—see ya later–
i'd be willing to bet the farm that your computer is loaded with rape and kiddie porn. pervert.
You said it right . God bless you, and I hope that the other porn addicts get a soul.
Yea, sigh sigh
, men are dogs.
Sometimes I think they don't have a soul, or are totally ignorant that of the same. Men , who are in a relationship, and are still porn addicts, behind their partner's backs are actually cheating themselves and their unsuspecting partner.
I am an Indian, and I have a Indian boyfriend, who is a porn addict. I found out about it , and lost my peace. This man, whom I loved has devastated me, he seems now to me to be a weakling and a liar.
Be grateful he doesn't dump you and get a white girlfriend. I think the only reason he doesn't is for cultural reasons. You have turned him into a weakling and a liar because you can't or won't satisfy his sexual needs, so he seeks gratification and release elsewhere. Your job is to please him whenever and wherever he wants, as often as he wants. You are the biggest weakling in this equation.
Z – guess you are a man. It ain't about black/white women, its about some integrity. And as for my personal relation with my man, I would not need to justify myself here. BTW, when a woman loves a man , she doesn't mind doing things that please him.
To all men here who like pornography—I think it may be useful here to try to reason with you about the mystery that is womanhood. We all know that women had to fight for the right to vote, and that they were previously given way more protection by men than they enjoy now. In 1900 it was considered somewhat disgraceful if your middle-class daughter had to go work in a department store, because she would be dealing with a large assortment of strangers every day—this was considered bad for her mentally and morally, because it was seen as being only a step up from being an all-out whore. Men with money often chose their wives from the class of people whose daughters didn’t need to work, because women were considered so sensitive that these men wanted wives whose dignity hadn’t been compromised in this way. We’ve gone from being a society that worries about what kind of impact working in a store would have on a woman, to one that rapes women, both actually and artificially, for entertainment, in 110 years.
We all know that in the Bible, God lets us know that He made man first, and then woman secondly, to be a “help-meet”—someone who is like an adjunct to the male, an auxiliary—straight women find their whole life’s meaning in men, and if you need proof of this, watch two newscasters on television who share the same desk who are male and female talk—the woman will always, unless she has trained herself not to, quickly turn her head to look at the male whenever he speaks, while the male will turn more slowly to look at her when she speaks. I have very rarely seen this not work this way—the woman almost always looks to the man faster than he looks to her. Women literally look to men for leadership, and, unfortunately, pornography completely and totally takes unfair advantage of this very basic and deeply inset inclination of women—to look to men to see what they want them to do. Remember when you were a kid, and there was always some mean boys that go out of their way to tease and torture a smaller, younger boy, who will put up with anything, just because he wants to belong? You see the poor kid following the bullies around day after day, just wanting to be part of the gang, no matter what kind of crazy or degrading thing they did with him the day before—tying him to a tree, making him eat dirt or bugs, etc. Well, women are like that younger boy in relation to men, and it’s very easy to get many women to go along with any crazy and degrading thing a man wants, just because not “belonging” is virtually an anathema to her. If you’re a man who doesn’t care about this particular aspect of being a female, and you think it’s perfectly ok to use someone’s need for acceptance against them like this for entertainment, then YOU need to be separated from society—there’s no doubt about it. The world does not need any more bullies, and you’ve proven yourself to be unfit for membership in any civilized society. A real man would NEVER want to see any woman degraded in pornography, and certainly wouldn’t want to see any of the women of his own country degraded in this way—he would see that as being downright dangerous to the overall safety of his homeland. If I were a porn user, I would really wonder why, in what is supposed to be a Christian country, and even had a conservative president for 8 years not too long ago, why it does absolutely nothing to stop this inundation of pornography, and even has it as it’s biggest export. I would wonder why nobody in power cares if I get so horribly addicted to it that I can’t even think straight enough to have the sense to extricate myself from it, and I would also wonder why nobody thinks it’s unwholesome if, because women feel like they are in such a fierce competition with it, that they (mostly) all dress like whores now, and that even older women feel that they need to wear skin-tight clothes and heavy eye make-up, even to church. That women are complete and utter fools for the desires of men is pretty apparent, and any society that doesn’t protect women from their own lack of insight, ESPECIALLY when it comes to something as degrading as pornography, isn’t fit to even call itself a society.
I can hear what you’re saying now—that WOMEN ASKED FOR THIS by wanting liberation—so let’s just take a good look at that particular aspect of this topic, shall we? For one thing, who, either in the 1920’s or even the 1960’s, would have had even the faintest idea that pornography was going to become so mainstream that any crazy thing that men want to see a woman do would be considered perfectly legal entertainment that you could even rent from a store at the mall, and that it would also be available in unlimited quantities for just about for free to anyone? And also that it would be as incredibly sick and degrading as it’s gotten? Do you really think that women thought that THIS was what was going to be in store for them down the line? I would bet good money that NONE of them, and I mean not ONE of them, did. All the big feminist movers and shakers who were unfortunately thinking that this would all turn out rosy for women were unrealistic (women being unrealistic—that’s very unusual, huh?) about how women would actually handle their freedom, and encouraged women to do their best to stop being seen as an “invalid”, and to do it all for themselves, not only by going out to work, but by doing it solely to satisfy themselves, too, and not just doing it all for the upkeep or happiness of a husband and children. Most women can’t really do this very well, because their natural inclination is to make a family and to serve their loved ones. Women love their families, and most women get the majority of their satisfaction in life from serving those they are related to. As a man, I find this trait in women very wonderful, and I absolutely love how much my wife dotes on me—I’m not her “whole world”, but pretty close. Not only do I postulate that women had no earthly idea what they were “in for” concerning pornography, but I also think that they also had no idea that their liberation was going to cause many men to completely lose all their desire to protect them, as well, and thanks to Feminism, (which the average woman really had nothing to do with the founding or promoting of, by the way), she didn’t think that she should need, or even want, male protection anymore. Like all “isims”, this one doesn’t quite work out right, either, because you can’t change basic human nature. So forget about the “women asked for this” viewpoint—whatever it was that women were asking for, it wasn’t THIS. They had women with a skewed agenda, who had only the faintest idea of what would even actually happen, tell them to take a lot of erroneous things as Gospel because they “owed it to themselves” as “real adults” —things that do nothing but erode the basic respect women receive from men, break down their families, and give us a nation full of children with one parent. Women will always be “inferior” to men, if you’re talking about who actually follows whose lead. And when women feel like they need to make themselves harder emotionally to compete in a man’s world, it only makes men feel like they need to make themselves still even harder than they are already, to keep this dynamic that men and women naturally have, where one follows the other, going. This nothing but a very stupid race to the bottom, where nobody will give a rat’s behind about anyone eventually. If you will act like a lady, then I will act like a gentleman—that’s the way a society WORKS, not this disgusting morass.
Pornography totally uses women’s need for acceptance (and to be admired for their beauty, which is real, actual soul-need) against them, and most women will feel the pressure to compete with it too, just like they compete with the real women that they know in their lives. Women will, like faithful dogs, follow men down as low as they want to go, and as a man, you really OUGHT to know better, morally, than to do this to women or to watch someone else do it to women, even if you think they know exactly what they’re doing, because it’s very obvious at this stage of the game that they really don’t.
Oh jeezes, god,soul,blablabla. Do us a favor and release all that frustration with a good porn flick^^
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Pound this booty hard
Total BS.. I have been watching porn and masturbating for 30+ years. I am much healthier – mentally and physically than I was in my teens. She talks about desensitizing men and that they need more to get off as they watch more porn but this is a good thing. When I was younger I would have done about anything, including breaking the law for sex with about anyone I could get my hands on. I am happy to be desensitized because I now have control back and will not get together with the 1st bimbo I can just to get laid. Of course I would rather have the real thing and get it as often as I can, but it is a huge task these days. Most women make it such a pain in the ass to get them in bed that it is just not worth it and if you do get that far with half of them they either are a dead lay or they cant even have an orgasm anyway because they are so doped up on meds, or they have some daddy issue from the past. So when a guy has to weed through 9-10 women to find just 1 that's worth a f&*# sometimes you need to just cut your losses and go watch a good porn.
This man speaks truth.
Word!! feel exactly the same way. Thank you pornstars, you are heroesXD!!
OK – Now let us hear a man talk like an expert about how woman should feel and behave while menstruating or pregnant. You have NO CLUE what a healthy sex drive is, stop acting like you do.
Its very rare I use this phrase, and I can't believe I am even responding to this... but this article is absolutely offensive and highly presumptive and general, considering this woman has no idea what it is like to be a male and even less understanding about how we see sex and no clue as to how we relate sex with love. Which is QUITE different than your narrow view young lady.
Don't lump the simple need to have sexual gratification with other more serious issues of addiction. Yes it can happen with sex, but they are not inexorably linked.