December 29th, 2014
03:52 PM ET

Why giving shouldn't be a solitary activity

By Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn

Editor's note: Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn are the authors of A Path Appears: Transforming Lives, Creating Opportunity. This is the second in a series of three guest posts.

Secular people often make giving a solitary activity at the end of the year, one that feels like a sacrifice. That’s the wrong way to think about giving back. We learned a lot from churches and temples and the way they turn giving into an enjoyable, uplifting social activity. Our profile of a master pastor at a mega-church, Bill Hybels, reveals some of the magic he employs.  We all are social animals and when we do things with a group of people we like, the activity becomes more fun.

So form a book club and engage in a few volunteer or giving activities together—or link your book club to Book Clubs for Change, bookclubs4change.org. Choose a need in your community or an area of the world that you all care about. Then choose a topic and an organization you might work with. Or maybe consider an on-location trip to the area and meet some of the people you want to help?

Or join a chapter of Dining for Women, which is one of the secular organizations that borrows from the religious notion of fellowship and joyous giving for a cause.  DFW has guests bring a pot luck dish to a host's home and then they all donate the money they would spend at a restaurant to a chosen cause empowering women worldwide.   Some groups have a subcommittee screen a list of finalists and the group votes on a final selection. In A Path Appears, we list some other great organizations—there’s even one called Beer for Books—that make giving a social and fun occasion.

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  1. chri§§y

    Lmao @ banasy. Now you KNOW hes not catching onto that at all. In the dictionary next to wishy washy is a pic of him. But damn wouldnt it be great if we could put a gag order on him? Or just a gag even? Lmao

    January 3, 2015 at 7:35 pm | Reply
    • banasy©

      To think today's tantrum started with just two sentences to him: "Wrong story. You're being jacked on the first blog."

      January 3, 2015 at 7:47 pm | Reply
      • Philip

        To think today's Donna being Queen for yet another day started out by reminding everyone of the obvious. Hens do peck at even the smallest grain. Bwock. Bock bock bwock. The Rooster is watching TV.

        January 3, 2015 at 7:55 pm |
      • banasy©

        Yes, we're aware you're a chickenhead. I don't think you need to remind anyone of that, Philip.

        January 3, 2015 at 8:08 pm |
    • Philip

      Rather than talking about the reality of bush-era federal gag orders still be in place over Connie Chung and Sibel D. Edmonds, chrissy's little brain headed straight for the fantasy world of a judge having me gagged. What a turd.

      January 3, 2015 at 7:49 pm | Reply
  2. chri§§y

    Do you even have a handful of hair? And trust me philip...you really dont want to know what i would like to do to you!

    January 3, 2015 at 7:41 pm | Reply
  3. chri§§y

    But please keep your butt sniffing fantasys to yourself! They are pretty gross for us normal people to hear!

    January 3, 2015 at 7:44 pm | Reply
    • Philip

      Lol. Now chrissy is poking fun at sodomites! LMAO

      January 3, 2015 at 7:46 pm | Reply
      • Philip

        ...like sodomites aren't normal people! LMAO

        January 3, 2015 at 7:47 pm |
      • banasy©

        You are admitting you're a sodomite?

        January 3, 2015 at 7:49 pm |
    • Philip

      There is NOTHING wrong with being a sodomite in the USA. (unless you are in the military, then it's forbidden) It's perfectly legal and approved by most politicians and religious leaders. Why you take issue with it or "accuse" me of being a sodomite...as if being gay is a bad thing...is beyond me. Totally hypocritical and not even close to being politically correct.

      January 3, 2015 at 7:51 pm | Reply
      • banasy©

        Not what I asked, is it?

        You are the one who took "But please keep your butt sniffing fantasys to yourself! They are pretty gross for us normal people to hear!" in the direction you did.

        January 3, 2015 at 7:55 pm |
      • Philip

        America's new generation of kids are playing Grand Theft Auto 5 spending quality time with their dad who enjoys it too. Stop being such a prude, Donna. You really are Mrs. Cleaver, aren't you. Or, rather, an ostrich with it's head in the sand and would rather not know how bad America really is.

        January 3, 2015 at 8:07 pm |
      • banasy©

        I'm not a prude, you ignorant ass.

        Your GTA deflection aside, you are the one who connected sodomy with Chrissy's post. That's where your mind leapt.

        January 3, 2015 at 8:14 pm |
      • Philip

        GTA wasn't a deflection. It was to illustrate how silly it is to look down your nose at a man who fantasizes about panties or lack thereof from time to time while boys and their dad's biatch slap scantily dressed women for the fun of it. And slaughter all kinds of people. For funsies. A little panty talk is NOTHING.

        January 3, 2015 at 10:44 pm |
      • banasy©

        It still has nothing to do with the OP, so yes, it's a deflection.

        Focus.

        January 4, 2015 at 11:59 am |
      • Philip

        It was to illustrate my point, dummy.

        January 4, 2015 at 12:24 pm |
      • banasy©

        What point was that? That you cannot stick to one thing without deflecting?

        Because the OP was "But please keep your butt sniffing fantasys to yourself! They are pretty gross for us normal people to hear!" and you suddenly start talk about video games, you ignorant ass.

        January 4, 2015 at 6:00 pm |
  4. Philip

    "Conspiracy Theory" is a cop-out. Like, if it's not the official version of a story it's a "conspiracy theory". Really. Most folks think if it's not on TV it never happened.

    January 3, 2015 at 7:45 pm | Reply
    • banasy©

      Um...no. Incorrect.

      January 3, 2015 at 7:49 pm | Reply
      • Philip

        Um...yes. Correct.

        January 3, 2015 at 7:52 pm |
      • banasy©

        The only ones who think that the use of the term "conspiracy theory" is a "cop-out" are those that believe such theories are, indeed, reality.

        Even after being presented evidence, they will dismiss it if it doesn't conform with their chosen theory.

        Like Sandy Hook. Look at the damage those crazy freaks did to the families that lost children.

        People like that? They're dangerous.

        January 3, 2015 at 8:02 pm |
      • Philip

        ...look at TV helicopter news footage of 3 other gunmen at Sandy Hook that day, rather. And know that the father's of both the "Sandy Creek Shooter" and "Aurora Theatre Shooter" are the two men who blew the whistle on 17 of the world's largest banks for scamming trillions of dollars from customers by fixing LIBOR rates.

        January 3, 2015 at 8:17 pm |
      • banasy©

        You know what? You're an even bigger ass than I thought.

        I pray to God you never have to deal with the pain of burying your own child, just to have some psychotic paranoid schizophrenic diminish your child's life and death by spouting the most retarded Alex Jonesian bullshit to scratch your fever dream itch because your life lacks meaning.

        Idiot.

        January 3, 2015 at 8:25 pm |
      • Philip

        You are stuck with the official version of the story and turning a blind-eye to those 3 other gunmen filmed by local TV news cameras at Sandy Hook. At the fact that the "gunmans" rifle was found in the trunk of a car AFTER the supposed shootings! That on Youtube right now are videos of president Obama on stage with one of the "victims" families getting ready to so a skit for national news. And having to shoo a little girl wearing a red dress off the stage, for she was one of the kids reported to have been slain!

        January 3, 2015 at 8:42 pm |
      • banasy©

        Every bit of your "evidence" has been debunked, you lunatic.
        You wouldn't know that, because you continue to visit reader-driven sites that confirm your biases; written by sick people just like yourself.

        Shame on you.

        January 3, 2015 at 8:46 pm |
      • Philip

        BS. 2 of the 3 gunmen wearing camouflage were arrested by local authorities and later released to FBI agents. And both the Sandy Creek and Aurora Theater shooter's dads were the two men who blew the whistle on US and foreign banks scamming trillions of dollars from customers by illegally fixing LIBOR rates. Youtube videos clearly showing a little girl wearing a red dress on stage with President Obama AFTER she had been reported to be dead have NOT been debunked. Get a clue.

        January 3, 2015 at 8:55 pm |
      • Philip

        There are also Youtube videos of that little gir's dad laughing and joking around as he is reading his lines rehearsing being a grieving father before going on nationwide TV. Again, NOT debunked.

        January 3, 2015 at 8:58 pm |
      • banasy©

        Yes.

        Debunked.

        Every bit of what you posted has been thoroughly debunked.

        You may certainly cling to this if it makes you sleep better at night; I assure you, the parents and families of those slain that day still don't.

        January 3, 2015 at 9:59 pm |
    • Philip

      Oh! I get it. Like the theory of evolution and that God has 3 heads.
      Sodomites enjoy dung in bed, to explain "butt sniffing". Hitler used to like to smear poop all over himself before bumping uglies.

      January 3, 2015 at 8:09 pm | Reply
      • banasy©

        I am unsurprised you would know the intimate details of Hitler's sex life.

        January 3, 2015 at 8:17 pm |
      • Philip

        Of course not. You've read my long and wordy accounts of Hitler being sodomized by his parent's gay parrish priest. How he was a WW1 war hero and a special agent for the German government spying on Bayer and gang forming the illegal NAZI political party. How it ended with him being fat and stupid and building flying saucers instead of jet powered fighter planes.

        January 3, 2015 at 8:20 pm |
      • banasy©

        I'm sure the part where you delved in his sex life is what is truly motivated you.

        January 3, 2015 at 8:31 pm |
      • Philip

        Look at banasy pretending the theory of evolution doesn't fit her description of what a conspiracy theory is. The theory of God and Jesus being the same person does in fact fit your description of a "conspiracy theory", Donna.

        January 3, 2015 at 8:33 pm |
      • banasy©

        Can you tell me how you made the leap from "I’m sure the part where you delved in his se life is what is truly motivated you." to "Look at banasy pretending the theory of evolution doesn’t fit her description of what a conspiracy theory is. The theory of God and Jesus being the same person does in fact fit your description of a “conspiracy theory”, Donna."?

        Do you need some ice to treat that stretch?

        January 3, 2015 at 8:41 pm |
      • Philip

        Leap? It's the topic of the thread we have going. You just keep ignoring it in favor of discussing Hitler.

        January 3, 2015 at 8:45 pm |
      • banasy©

        Um...you introduced Hitler in the first place...focus...

        January 3, 2015 at 8:51 pm |
      • Philip

        You asked how dung and sodomy were related. I illustrated my answer using Hitler. But the thrust of my comment was that the theories of evolution and that God and Jesus are the same person fit your description of what a "conspiracy theory" is to a T.

        January 3, 2015 at 9:00 pm |
      • banasy©

        I didn't ask any such thing.

        You are confused. Again.

        Also, I did not give a definition of a conspiracy theory; what I said was conspiracy theories appeal to people who cannot handle the reality of a chaotic world.

        If you indeed were kicked off the debate team, it is because you do not know how to debate without attempting to put words in another's mouth.

        In other words, you make up things that you think, and ascribe them to others; you then debate what wasn't said, instead of addressing what actually was.

        January 3, 2015 at 9:54 pm |
      • Sherlock Holmes

        There's more truth in what they don't say.

        January 3, 2015 at 11:03 pm |
      • Philip

        Most of what you call "conspiracy theories" describe a much more chaotic world than the one that you claim exists. So your theory about people wanting to believe "conspiracy theories" to escape a "chaotic world" is stupid.

        January 3, 2015 at 11:05 pm |
      • banasy©

        It's not a theory; it's an observation.

        It's not stupid; it must hit home since you keep trying to defend your gullibility.

        January 4, 2015 at 10:48 am |
    • Philip

      Cite evidence of said "debunks". And, what do you think of their dad's both being the only LIBOR scandal whistle blowers? (although at least one US bank is cooperating with investigators now)

      January 3, 2015 at 10:40 pm | Reply
      • banasy©

        How about "debunked"?

        The evidence is all out there for you to ignore.

        And stay off infowars. Jones doesn't even believe the garbage he spouts.

        January 4, 2015 at 10:52 am |
    • Philip

      You forgot to include citations. (my impression of banasy pretending she doesn't know what keywords are and so asks for citations. Like, I couldn't simply google "sandy hook debunked" rather than asking for citations) Stupid Girl. By Garbage. Listen to it sometime on Youtube. 🙂

      January 3, 2015 at 10:46 pm | Reply
      • banasy©

        Then why don't you? Because it is much easier to believe a lie than it is to handle the truth, that's why.

        January 4, 2015 at 10:54 am |
  5. chri§§y

    If you truly believed there was nothing wrong with being a sodomite, WHY then did you work soooo hard trying to convince the blogging world here that you were lusting after banasy when they all are pretty much already convinced youre gay? And how was my comment about your disgusting post about "butt sniffing" relative to sodomites anyway? Tis you thats the turd!

    January 3, 2015 at 8:06 pm | Reply
  6. chri§§y

    Man if you had a working brain you would be dangerous. But as it is you are just a menace to society and seriously should sign yourself over for medical science!

    January 3, 2015 at 8:11 pm | Reply
    • Philip

      LOL. Look at chrissy rearranging words to say the same thing over and over again, only adding a rotten snail or can of worms to the mix.

      January 3, 2015 at 8:15 pm | Reply
      • banasy©

        It's what you have been doing for four years, if you were honest with yourself once in a while.

        January 3, 2015 at 8:19 pm |
  7. chri§§y

    Oh! Look WHOS making fun of sodomites now? Lol its the new pimp dummy!

    January 3, 2015 at 8:16 pm | Reply
  8. chri§§y

    And look at philip who cant stay on one topic longer than 10 seconds. Ive never met anyone so flighty as you!

    January 3, 2015 at 8:19 pm | Reply
  9. Philip

    Smash and grab! JUST like that big ugly fat man that robbed that store with his buddies smashing and grabbing whatever they could get their greedy paws on in Ferguson, MO. Plus torching their neighbors homes and businesses! Just as you do to me here. Only they got something out of it.

    January 3, 2015 at 8:27 pm | Reply
  10. Philip

    Come on, @banasy. Sports stars and other celebrities talk about their achievements all the time. Reporters and magazines make millions telling US of records they set and stuff. It would do no harm nor be out of line in any way for you to tell us of something remarkable you have done. Stop being such a prude. Sheesh.

    January 3, 2015 at 8:31 pm | Reply
    • banasy©

      I don't think prude means what you think it means.

      I have no need to 'toot my own horn.' If this is something you have to do, then fine; you may certainly compare your achievements with others online, should you feel it necessary to do so.

      January 3, 2015 at 8:38 pm | Reply
    • Philip

      You wouldn't be tooting your horn. You would be sharing a little bit of yourself openly. Something you are allergic to, I reckon.

      January 3, 2015 at 9:01 pm | Reply
      • banasy©

        I have told you before that I have; you've obviously forgotten, and I am not in the habit of repeating myself for those morons who can't pay attention to what I post.

        January 3, 2015 at 9:44 pm |
      • Philip

        What? Lol

        January 3, 2015 at 10:25 pm |
      • banasy©

        I knew you couldn't read.

        January 4, 2015 at 10:56 am |
  11. Philip

    Chrissy? Have you done anything outstanding in your life? Set any world records or anything? Developed any techniques that save industries billions of dollars?

    January 3, 2015 at 8:35 pm | Reply
  12. chri§§y

    Ttyl @ banasy. These visions of h o m o cide im suddenly having are just too disturbing to my usual good nature! Have a good nite.

    January 3, 2015 at 8:39 pm | Reply
  13. chri§§y

    Ttyl @ banasy. These visions of acts of h o m o cide im suddenly having are just too disturbing to my usual good nature! Have a good nite.

    January 3, 2015 at 8:41 pm | Reply
    • Philip

      Smash and dash? lol

      January 3, 2015 at 8:43 pm | Reply
  14. Philip

    You mean just to have some young boy forced to become a Ritalin addict, and later in life addicted to Prozac and Seroquel...and later anti-psychotic "medications" DRIVEN to acts of horror.

    January 3, 2015 at 9:04 pm | Reply
    • Philip

      ...splash of Abilify. A few bottles of oxycodone thrown-in from time to time. And Pooof! You got another walking zombie.

      January 3, 2015 at 9:37 pm | Reply
  15. Philip

    Bbl

    January 3, 2015 at 9:07 pm | Reply
  16. Philip

    Here's an interesting story. "I don't think it's the government's job to decide who is honourable." French economist turns down major award.

    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-30650097

    January 3, 2015 at 9:35 pm | Reply
    • Philip

      rather, Mr Piketty said "it is not the government's role to decide who is honourable"

      January 3, 2015 at 9:36 pm | Reply
  17. sloshedcat2u

    Yuh knowww ? It'th's been said thut :

    Peter Piper pecked a pick of peckled peepers.

    I find th'that thstatement to be Particurly perp...lexing in th'the Parepostumous Pohsition this Perthson has Prepetulated this Pf' f' f'aribcated Puh fantasy.

    I approveth th'this methssage.

    January 3, 2015 at 10:54 pm | Reply
  18. Philip

    LOL. @banasy not sharing her achievements and a song on the radio. Ladies and Gentlemen. The Pretenders. Chrissy Hynes singing "Mystery Achievement". 🙂

    January 3, 2015 at 11:18 pm | Reply
    • Philip

      check that. am sure she has it on vinyl. Lol

      January 3, 2015 at 11:21 pm | Reply
    • banasy©

      Aren't you clever?

      No, you're not.

      January 4, 2015 at 11:02 am | Reply
  19. Philip

    Pink with while polka dots. he he. Good night, @banasy. Lol

    January 3, 2015 at 11:24 pm | Reply
    • Philip

      ...oopthse. Pink with white polky dots, rath'ther.

      January 3, 2015 at 11:25 pm | Reply
    • banasy©

      Perhaps when I was a toddler, creeper.

      January 4, 2015 at 11:03 am | Reply
      • Philip

        So. Your family could afford underwear and socks and shoes with no holes in them when you were a little girl? Must have been nice, crapper.

        January 4, 2015 at 11:49 am |
      • banasy©

        Yes. Sorry your parents were workshy.

        January 4, 2015 at 12:02 pm |
      • Philip

        We were so poor that children were not allowed to use toilet paper. We had to use pages of old Sears&Roebuck catalogs and stuff. So our parents could afford to party more.

        January 4, 2015 at 12:02 pm |
      • banasy©

        That is your parent's failing. It has nothing to do with my parents.

        January 4, 2015 at 12:09 pm |
      • Philip

        Who said anything about your parents. Sheesh.

        January 4, 2015 at 12:24 pm |
      • Philip

        "Sorry your parents were workshy". As if you could possibly know. And you have sunken to a lower state of debauchery, dirtbagging my parents. You are a superhag. No doubt about it.

        January 4, 2015 at 12:37 pm |
      • banasy©

        "So. Your family could afford underwear and socks and shoes with no holes in them when you were a little girl?"

        You brought them up indirectly.

        And my family is frequently the target of your poisoned mind, however fictionalized; I do not know why you would think your parents are sacrosanct, especially after you write this about your own parents:

        We were so poor that children were not allowed to use toilet paper. We had to use pages of old Sears&Roebuck catalogs and stuff. So our parents could afford to party more.

        January 4, 2015 at 12:56 pm |
  20. Philip

    It was the failing of growing up in a very small mountain community that had very little source of income is what it was. And what little income there was was spent on fancy things for adults as children went without. THE SAME EXACT WAY IT IS NOW, nationwide. Adults have all kinds of fancy things as their own kids go without.

    January 4, 2015 at 12:26 pm | Reply
  21. Philip

    FACT: 20% of America's children go hungry each and every day, for years now. It didn't used to be that way except in very poor communities. Now, it's everywhere.

    January 4, 2015 at 12:27 pm | Reply
  22. Philip

    There are even a few starving Jew kids now.

    January 4, 2015 at 12:28 pm | Reply
  23. Philip

    Am never going to respond to anything you and your little bizzy bees have to say on these blogs ever again. So do not bother addressing me anymore. Bye.

    January 4, 2015 at 12:38 pm | Reply
    • banasy©

      Here's the thing, you ignorant ass: quit bringing us up using what you think is a "clever" bastardization of our names, and we won't address your insane screeds again.
      Including bastardizing them as your username.

      Very simple concept.

      Think you can grasp that before your brain starts shooting off in 900 directions, like a pinball machine?

      January 4, 2015 at 1:03 pm | Reply
  24. chri§§y

    Well THANK GOD! Finally huh @ banasy!

    January 4, 2015 at 2:51 pm | Reply
  25. chri§§y

    Of course im still skeptical because he is so well known for lying but lets pray he is finally telling the truth!

    January 4, 2015 at 3:05 pm | Reply
  26. Philip

    La la la. Hands over ears. And eyes. Now I know what it feels like to be an old lady.

    January 4, 2015 at 3:55 pm | Reply
    • banasy©

      You've known that for 55 years.

      January 4, 2015 at 5:54 pm | Reply
  27. chri§§y

    Lol good thing i stayed skeptical! And hes acting as if thats a NEW experience for him! Lmao

    January 4, 2015 at 4:08 pm | Reply
  28. black bloggers of the upper mid-west and one south of there.

    Am thinking we should call him "it".

    January 4, 2015 at 5:13 pm | Reply
    • banasy©

      Poof! You're an "it".

      January 4, 2015 at 5:55 pm | Reply
  29. chri§§y

    Lololol ty @ banasy for your last post! That gave me a good chuckle!

    January 4, 2015 at 6:22 pm | Reply
  30. Philip

    taking should be a solitary act?

    January 4, 2015 at 7:03 pm | Reply
    • Philip

      Taking can't be a solitary act anymore. The Pentagon informed president Obama of that just last week.

      January 5, 2015 at 8:26 pm | Reply
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