December 29th, 2014
03:52 PM ET

Why giving shouldn't be a solitary activity

By Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn

Editor's note: Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn are the authors of A Path Appears: Transforming Lives, Creating Opportunity. This is the second in a series of three guest posts.

Secular people often make giving a solitary activity at the end of the year, one that feels like a sacrifice. That’s the wrong way to think about giving back. We learned a lot from churches and temples and the way they turn giving into an enjoyable, uplifting social activity. Our profile of a master pastor at a mega-church, Bill Hybels, reveals some of the magic he employs.  We all are social animals and when we do things with a group of people we like, the activity becomes more fun.

So form a book club and engage in a few volunteer or giving activities together—or link your book club to Book Clubs for Change, bookclubs4change.org. Choose a need in your community or an area of the world that you all care about. Then choose a topic and an organization you might work with. Or maybe consider an on-location trip to the area and meet some of the people you want to help?

Or join a chapter of Dining for Women, which is one of the secular organizations that borrows from the religious notion of fellowship and joyous giving for a cause.  DFW has guests bring a pot luck dish to a host's home and then they all donate the money they would spend at a restaurant to a chosen cause empowering women worldwide.   Some groups have a subcommittee screen a list of finalists and the group votes on a final selection. In A Path Appears, we list some other great organizations—there’s even one called Beer for Books—that make giving a social and fun occasion.

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  1. Philip

    Why did US Congress make it legal for campaign donor Meat&Dairy Catlle Association to start using drugs to make their cattle fat and more profitable, and according to US gov studies, make US fatter too? Why? They did this in the mid-90's. Without even asking US permission to do so! And they work for US! Not the other way around as old ladies would have you believe.

    January 13, 2015 at 8:36 pm | Reply
    • Philip

      They also legalized sodomy and divorce without asking US first, in case u didn't notice.

      January 13, 2015 at 8:37 pm | Reply
      • Philip

        ...not to mention adultery and the wanton spreading of AIDS. ALL legal in the USA. ILLEGAL in Uganda, even.

        January 13, 2015 at 8:38 pm |
      • banasy©

        "Let's kill all the gays! Let's be like Uganda!"

        January 13, 2015 at 10:20 pm |
  2. chri§§y¥¥¥¥

    Fock off @ philip! Gn @ banasy...sorry but i have to leave you with this hot mess or im gonna blow up!

    January 13, 2015 at 8:40 pm | Reply
  3. Philip

    really. The Supreme Court did not ask US what our opinion was on not quaranteening those first few men who came down with AIDS! They just outlawed doctors doing so. The SC did NOT ask US if we wanted to be eating cattle made fat by drugs that make US fatter too. They just did it. A new Supreme Court TOLD you what you would be eating, and what your husband would be allowed to do to you in bed. Got it?

    January 13, 2015 at 8:44 pm | Reply
  4. Philip

    Your husband can legally odomize you. And there is NOTHING you can legally do about it, according to the new Supreme Court! Got it? So bend over if I want to. Ain't NOTHING legal you can do about it, woman.

    January 13, 2015 at 8:47 pm | Reply
    • Philip

      *sodomize. According to the SC, your husband can punch you in the ass with his schlong, and you have ZERO legal say in the matter. So, shut up and bend over you housewives loving Bill Clinton.

      January 13, 2015 at 8:49 pm | Reply
  5. Philip

    Scuze me? A1 Steak Sauce is for dummies who think meat does not taste good. (not unlike coffee creamers and sugarers do to the taste of natural coffe. With artificial sweeteners, no less) For fat asses who think a 16 oz steroid hormone steak smothered in catsup is better than an 8 oz. all natural cut of beef. Ya'll be dumb is all I can say.

    January 13, 2015 at 8:57 pm | Reply
  6. Philip

    Ha Ha. Your husband or boyfriend can now legally sodomize you. And there is NOTHING you can do about it according to US law. ha ha. And you approve! Amazing stupidity.

    January 13, 2015 at 9:00 pm | Reply
  7. Philip

    ooh baby. And by way of the Supreme Court.

    January 13, 2015 at 9:03 pm | Reply
  8. banasy©

    @Philip,
    If you are not going to address one of us, I'm going to go ahead and assume that this is your vanity writing for the evening.

    Because, of course, nothing you have written is applicable to me; I suspect it is the same for Chrissy.

    January 13, 2015 at 9:20 pm | Reply
    • banasy©

      With one exception: adding anything to a great steak is an abomination.
      I shall agree with you on that.

      January 13, 2015 at 9:23 pm | Reply
      • Philip

        Lol. How many great steaks do Americans eat these days? Americans prefer steroid hormone meat with ketchup.

        January 13, 2015 at 9:33 pm |
    • Philip

      No. Your hubby can legally sodomize you and there is nothing in US laws to stop him. Get a clue.

      January 13, 2015 at 9:31 pm | Reply
      • Philip

        Your hubby can now cheat on you legally. You have no say.

        January 13, 2015 at 9:31 pm |
      • banasy©

        Your last two posts do not apply to me; I do not understand why you would think that just because it is legal, it is practiced.

        And, oh, yes, I have a say. I'm sorry if you do not respect the morals of others; my husband and I respect and love each other enough to keep our vows.

        I suspect this is why you remain unmarried. You do not.

        January 13, 2015 at 9:41 pm |
      • Philip

        Doesn't matter. Men change their minds as all people do. Your hubby could change his mind about how he treated you in bed and according to the SC, you would have ZERO legal recource. Sodomy has been legalized. And you approve. So reap what you have sown. I hope you get legally sodomized so you can know.

        January 13, 2015 at 9:44 pm |
      • banasy©

        I cannot speak for other men; I speak directly to what I know.

        My husband would not.

        Sorry to disabuse you of your notion that because your marriage was dysfunctional, everyone else's must be, as well.

        This is not the reality of my marriage, and you are simply displaying your ignorance when you try to ascribe your thoughts onto anyone else.

        January 13, 2015 at 9:52 pm |
      • banasy©

        "I hope you get legally sodomized so you know."

        And that, right there, is the most telling sentence you ever written.

        Legal sodomy is between consenting partners; and you, Philip, are a spiteful, hateful mysogynistic little man whose world is passing him by while he shakes his wee little fist at the sky and dreams of revenge on everyone, everywhere, because he has been hurt in the past.

        Get over yourself; you are unimportant in the big scheme of things, and unimportant to my life.

        I must give you this, though; you provide me with some of the biggest laughs I've ever encountered over the net; albeit, I'm sure, unintentionally.

        "I hope you get legally sodomized, so you know."
        Did you stamp your foot whilst saying that?

        January 13, 2015 at 9:59 pm |
      • Philip MC

        No. Sodomy is just legal in the USA. Nothing you can do about it now.

        January 13, 2015 at 10:11 pm |
      • banasy©

        I don't care if it's legal; I do not understand why you do.

        If you're not indulging in it, it doesn't affect you.

        I do not indulge in it; it doesn't affect me.

        January 13, 2015 at 10:15 pm |
  9. Philip

    oh K. 7;30pm. Done eating my sirloin and am going to clean up the mess made at my shop today. Was a blizzard cold day but still turned a hefty profit off of you dummies. Omg Americans are stupid. Might bbl.

    January 13, 2015 at 9:35 pm | Reply
  10. Philip

    am when am done r going to pound a 1/2 pint of JD. So mind your own beeswax, Got it? Keep your nose out of my business you freaking fat ass Supreme Court "Justices".

    January 13, 2015 at 9:37 pm | Reply
  11. Philip

    Why are Supreme Court justices all fat? Hmmmm?

    January 13, 2015 at 9:38 pm | Reply
    • Philip

      Because if they look like you, you will listen to them! he he. Is a fact.

      January 13, 2015 at 9:39 pm | Reply
  12. Philip

    Their is nothing in marriage vows regarding sodomy. Your Supreme Court has decided that for you. Hope your hubby turns gay and sodomizes the hell out of you and there is NOTHING you can legally do about it. Stranger things have happened. So do not dismiss this likelihood.

    January 13, 2015 at 9:46 pm | Reply
    • banasy©

      You are quite stupid, aren't you? There's nothing in marriage vows about sex, period.

      I dismiss the likelihood because I know my spouse, and you do not. You are comparing him to your basest desires, which are not the same for every man.

      I have been married to this man for over 21 years, and have known him for 26. I assure you, because it was suddenly made legal isn't going to incite a desire that was not previously present.

      Get over yourself. You are flat out wrong on this as it relates to my marriage, and your incessant preoccupation with sodomy will not change that.

      January 13, 2015 at 10:06 pm | Reply
    • banasy©

      "Hope your hubby turns gay and sodomizes the hell out of you and there is NOTHING you can legally do about it."

      Lmfao!! You have got to be the stupidest man alive; I know that you haven't a clue about sex, but surely you have heard that many hetero couples have anal?

      (Pssst...hoping you comprehend this: my husband and I do not engage in this activity, however.)

      I am amused that you call me a prude at times when you are clearly the more repressed, and (dare I say it?) anal-retentive; you literally make me laugh out loud.

      January 13, 2015 at 10:13 pm | Reply
  13. Philip

    zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    January 13, 2015 at 9:47 pm | Reply
  14. chri§§y¥¥¥¥

    Dumb as a focking post! With conversing skills of a c o c k a tiel!!!

    January 13, 2015 at 9:48 pm | Reply
  15. chri§§y¥¥¥¥

    Yea RIGHT! Lmao 1/2 pint lololololol! Half a gal ya mean!

    January 13, 2015 at 9:52 pm | Reply
    • Philip MC

      a gallon hen younger. Am older and wiser now, chrissy. What is your dependence?

      January 13, 2015 at 10:07 pm | Reply
      • Philip MC

        *when, not hen. No offense. lmao

        January 13, 2015 at 10:08 pm |
  16. Philip MC

    If I were a boy even just for a day
    I'd roll out of bed in the morning
    And throw on what I wanted and go
    Drink beer with the guys
    And chase after girls
    I'd kick it with who I wanted
    And I'd never get confronted for it
    'Cause they stick up for me

    {Chorus}
    If I were a boy
    I think I could understand
    How it feels to love a girl
    I swear I'd be a better man
    I'd listen to her
    'Cause I know how it hurts
    When you lose the one you wanted
    'Cause he's taking you for granted
    And everything you had got destroyed

    {Verse}
    If I were a boy
    I would turn off my phone
    Tell everyone it's broken
    So they'd think that I was sleeping alone
    I'd put myself first
    And make the rules as I go
    'Cause I know that she'd be faithful
    Waiting for me to come home
    To come home...

    {Chorus}
    If I were a boy
    I think I could understand
    How it feels to love a girl
    I swear I'd be a better man
    I'd listen to her
    'Cause I know how it hurts
    When you lose the one you wanted (wanted)
    'Cause he's taking you for granted (granted)
    And everything you had got destroyed

    {Bridge}
    It's a little too late for you to come back
    Say it's just a mistake
    Think I'd forgive you like that
    If you thought I would wait for you
    You thought wrong

    {Chorus }
    But you're just a boy
    You don't understand
    Yeah you don't understand, oh
    How it feels to love a girl
    Someday you wish you were a better man
    You don't listen to her
    You don't care how it hurts
    Until you lose the one you wanted
    'Cause you're taking her for granted
    And everything you had got destroyed
    But you're just a boy!

    Read more: Beyonce Knowles – If I Were A Boy Lyrics | MetroLyrics

    January 13, 2015 at 9:54 pm | Reply
  17. Philip MC

    zzzz

    January 13, 2015 at 9:55 pm | Reply
  18. Philip MC

    Well, wish to chat more w/yous but Yawn. 🙂

    January 13, 2015 at 10:09 pm | Reply
  19. chri§§y¥¥¥¥

    Whoa!!! Yup hes just blown Adam outta the park for all time PIGGISH posts!!!! And that AINT something to be proud of....unless youre striving to be the most HATED cuss in the universe!!!!

    January 13, 2015 at 10:13 pm | Reply
    • banasy©

      I have been laughing non-stop at his desperation, Chrissy.

      January 13, 2015 at 10:19 pm | Reply
  20. Philip MC

    The next or possibly the next after US president that will by executive authority outlaw sodomy. For it is written. You heard it here first.

    January 13, 2015 at 10:13 pm | Reply
    • Philip MC

      If you are a sodomite you need to look into moving to Belize or something. Never was there a corporate fascist regime that did not turn on sodomites.

      January 13, 2015 at 10:14 pm | Reply
      • Philip MC

        First they lue them out of their closets and then slam the door on them. The history of nations.

        January 13, 2015 at 10:23 pm |
      • Philip MC

        *lure

        January 13, 2015 at 10:23 pm |
    • banasy©

      Who. Cares.

      January 13, 2015 at 10:16 pm | Reply
      • Philip MC

        Very few care. Which is my point.

        January 13, 2015 at 10:24 pm |
      • banasy©

        Probably because it is none of their business; or, yours.

        January 13, 2015 at 10:31 pm |
  21. chri§§y¥¥¥¥

    Good grief! Shut the he!! up already!

    January 13, 2015 at 10:17 pm | Reply
  22. chri§§y¥¥¥¥

    Because hes the "bedroom police" remember lol? TMI dude! Lmao!

    January 13, 2015 at 10:23 pm | Reply
    • Philip MC

      The US Supreme Court tell you what you can and cannot legally do in bedrooms, chrissy. You have no say in the matter, legally now.

      January 13, 2015 at 10:26 pm | Reply
      • Philip MC

        You can legally cheat on your man, and your man can legally sodomize you now. You have no say in the matter, as far as law is concerned.

        January 13, 2015 at 10:28 pm |
      • banasy©

        You ignorant man, until the SC stands over you and directs your bedtime activities, what they say is legal isn't compelling you to freaking DO it.

        Are you that bloody of a sheep that you suddenly go, "hey, it's legal, I MUST do it?" Don't a sweet that; you have been listing all night that since it is legal, you WILL do it...right?

        Jesus, you're stupid. Just be quiet. If someone forced you into sodomy, that still is rape, and that is NOT legal. If someone cheats, that is still grounds for divorce.

        Your point is moot; drop it. You appear unbalanced right now. You should really just go to sleep.

        January 13, 2015 at 10:38 pm |
    • banasy©

      It has been said over that legislating morality is doomed to fail, Chrissy.

      What consenting adults do in the privacy of their homes is not the government's, or anyone else's business.

      January 13, 2015 at 10:30 pm | Reply
  23. chri§§y¥¥¥¥

    Im thinkin he better get on that "slow boat" to Uganda! Ya know the one i mean? Its like a "short bus" cept its for water! Lol

    January 13, 2015 at 10:29 pm | Reply
    • Philip MC

      ell oh ell chrussty britches. Good one?

      January 13, 2015 at 10:31 pm | Reply
  24. Philip MC

    good night alls. 🙂 See ya tomorrow or not.

    January 13, 2015 at 10:30 pm | Reply
    • banasy©

      I assume you're off to sodomize someone, since it's legal, and all.

      January 13, 2015 at 11:04 pm | Reply
      • Fleas like Adam

        I found one! She's over here!

        January 14, 2015 at 8:10 am |
  25. chri§§y¥¥¥¥

    I know this @ banasy! Obviously his interpretating is different than everyone else! And im mentally thinking of my neighbors, and i dont wanta think about them kissing, much less anything else! Whatever they do in THEIR bedrooms, i do NOT care!!!!

    January 13, 2015 at 10:37 pm | Reply
    • banasy©

      I know, Chrissy, I know.

      Personally, I think it would be hilarious to think of Ruth Bader Ginsburg in the corner of the room yelling, "It's legal! I said DO IT!"

      January 13, 2015 at 10:57 pm | Reply
  26. chri§§y¥¥¥¥

    And @ philip...if you have "chrussty britches"...perhaps you shoulda done ALL your laundry the other day and not just your red shirts eh?

    January 13, 2015 at 10:41 pm | Reply
  27. chri§§y¥¥¥¥

    Lmao ok now THAT was funny! Hey, did you know that its warmer in Juno Alaska than it is where either one of us is? By alot!

    January 13, 2015 at 11:04 pm | Reply
    • banasy©

      You're kidding! What's the temp there?

      January 13, 2015 at 11:08 pm | Reply
      • Fleas like Adam

        @Dog Catcher. She's over here!

        January 14, 2015 at 8:18 am |
  28. chri§§y¥¥¥¥

    38 presently! We are 4 degrees presently!

    January 13, 2015 at 11:14 pm | Reply
  29. chri§§y¥¥¥¥

    Ok well sleepytime tea is kickin in so im outta here, GN and ttyt! 😉

    January 13, 2015 at 11:22 pm | Reply
    • Fleas like Adam

      [whistling loudly] Hey @Dog Catcher. I found the other one! She's right here! Lmao

      January 14, 2015 at 8:21 am | Reply
  30. Fleas like Adam

    I say call the dog catcher on the dogs that dragged them in here.

    January 14, 2015 at 8:07 am | Reply
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