January 22nd, 2015
11:30 PM ET

Global Public Square has moved

For the latest updates to Global Public Square, including show information and Fareed's Take, visit the new GPS site on CNN.com.

Topics: GPS Show

soundoff (13,052 Responses)
  1. Philip

    You do know that it was "The founders of democracy and modern medicine" who were the first openly gay society. Right? That your healthcare and government systems were founded by butt fockers. Ain't that a hoot.

    February 1, 2015 at 6:42 am | Reply
    • BLUE SAFFRON CNN HERO

      BUT BLUE SAFFRON IS CNN HERO !!!
      BLUE SAFFRON IS MY HERO !!!!

      February 1, 2015 at 8:43 am | Reply
      • Slate

        FAREED IS HERO OF A RAYPIST NATION.... INDIA.

        Fareed Zakaria, read my lips. Your biased bigotted reporting has been met with disdain. Your logic is flawed. Your facts are wrong. Your journalism is unethical. You present yourself as a CIA agent. You are a plagiarist. YES, FAREEED, YOU ARE A PLAGIARIST. Is that how you passed your college courses? Your diplomas should be taken back!!!

        February 1, 2015 at 9:03 am |
      • Vanessa

        See my comment below. Fareed should be fired by CNN. He is taking CNN down with him in everything including ratings.

        February 1, 2015 at 9:33 am |
  2. Philip

    Americans aren't the first to allow less than 1% of their men to butt wrangle each other openly. Ancient Greeks were openly gay.
    America is just the first to allow said sodomites to legally wed in church. Just as Jesus said would be. And they laughed at him. Some threw rocks.

    February 1, 2015 at 6:58 am | Reply
    • banasy©

      "America is just the first to allow said sodomites to legally wed in church."

      Well, America wasn't the first to allow SS marriage in church; in any case, that wasn't Americans; that was the churches.

      If one is married in a church only, their marriage still isn't legal. A liscense from the state is still needed to make it valid.
      And SS marriage is not legal in all states, anyhow. So there's that.

      February 1, 2015 at 12:11 pm | Reply
  3. rupert & joey Isotta-Fraschini

    Yea. We knew that.

    February 1, 2015 at 7:00 am | Reply
  4. rupert & joey

    How bout them Pats!

    February 1, 2015 at 7:03 am | Reply
  5. rupert & joey Isotta-Fraschini

    There that's better.

    February 1, 2015 at 7:04 am | Reply
  6. Philip

    We said "Go ahead and marry each other" and less than 1% of all gay men said OK.

    February 1, 2015 at 7:05 am | Reply
  7. Philip

    Pats schmats I say.

    February 1, 2015 at 7:05 am | Reply
  8. Philip

    Thuper bowl Thunday. Oh joy. Jesus thpoke with a lithpse and they made fun of him.

    February 1, 2015 at 7:08 am | Reply
  9. Philip

    Jesus is always the topic for conversation among true Christians.

    February 1, 2015 at 7:09 am | Reply
  10. Philip

    Funny that the Center For Disease Control (CDC) keeps track of gay men.

    February 1, 2015 at 7:20 am | Reply
  11. rupert & joey Isotta-Fraschini

    Jesus loves us all. Even gay people. There are many Freedom Fighters of gay folks in heaven. Stands to reason.

    February 1, 2015 at 7:29 am | Reply
  12. rupert & joey Isotta-Fraschini

    12.5% of the CDC are secretly gay. Ain't that a hoot. (Shrug)

    February 1, 2015 at 7:31 am | Reply
  13. Philip

    Jesus loves gay people but his dad has laws.

    February 1, 2015 at 7:53 am | Reply
  14. BLUE SAFFRON CNN HERO

    BLUE SAFFRON CAME, HE SAW, HE CONQUERED.
    THANK YOU, BLUE SAFFRON!!!!

    February 1, 2015 at 8:42 am | Reply
  15. Cuchumber

    FREEDOM IS US !!!

    Wow!!! So many freedom fighting outfits in India. WOW!!!
    Hinddooos must be pulling their usual "suppress the minorities routine" on them. After all the protesting, they took matters in their own hands. So there we have it.

    INDIA, A FREEDOM FIGHTING CENTRALE!!!

    Gimme Kashmir!! Gimme Sikhland!! Gimme Tamil Land!!! Gimme Muslimland!!!

    FOLKS, just look at all the Freedom Fighting Outfits in India. They ain't no soup kitchens. Right?

    AND THEY ALL CAN'T BE WRONG !!!

    Hmmmmmm..

    A SAMPLING OF SOME 114 FREEDOM FIGHTING ORGANIZATIONS IN INDIA:

    1. National Democratic Front of Bodoland (NDFB)

    2. United People's Democratic Solidarity (UPDS)

    3. Kamtapur Liberation Organisation (KLO)

    4. Bodo Liberation Tiger Force (BLTF)

    5. Dima Halim Daogah (DHD)

    6. Karbi National Volunteers (KNV)

    7. Rabha National Security Force (RNSF)

    8. Koch-Rajbongshi Liberation Organisation (KRLO)

    9. Hmar People's Convention- Democracy (HPC-D)

    10. Karbi People's Front (KPF)

    11. Tiwa National Revolutionary Force (TNRF)

    12. Bircha Commando Force (BCF)

    13. Bengali Tiger Force (BTF)

    14. Adivasi Security Force (ASF)

    15. All Assam Adivasi Suraksha Samiti (AAASS)

    16. Gorkha Tiger Force (GTF)

    17. Barak Valley Youth Liberation Front (BVYLF)

    18. United Liberation Front of Barak Valley

    19. United National Liberation Front (UNLF)

    20. People's Liberation Army (PLA)

    21. People's Revolutionary Party of Kangleipak (PREPAK)

    22. The above mentioned three groups now operate from a unified platform,

    23. the Manipur People's Liberation Front (MPLF)

    24. Kangleipak Communist Party (KCP)

    25. Kanglei Yawol Kanna Lup (KYKL)

    26. Manipur Liberation Tiger Army (MLTA)

    27. Iripak Kanba Lup (IKL)

    28. People's Republican Army (PRA)

    29. Kangleipak Kanba Kanglup (KKK)

    30. Kangleipak Liberation Organisation (KLO)

    31. Revolutionary Joint Committee (RJC)

    32. National Socialist Council of Nagaland - Isak-Muivah (NSCN-IM)

    33. People's United Liberation Front (PULF)

    34. Kuki National Army (KNA)

    35. Kuki Revolutionary Army (KRA)

    36. Kuki National Organisation (KNO)

    37. Kuki Independent Army (KIA)

    38. Kuki Defence Force (KDF)

    39. Kuki International Force (KIF)

    40. Kuki National Volunteers (KNV)

    41. Kuki Liberation Front (KLF)

    42. Kuki Security Force (KSF)

    43. Kuki Liberation Army (KLA)

    44. Kuki Revolutionary Front (KRF)

    45. United Kuki Liberation Front (UKLF)

    46. Hmar People's Convention (HPC)

    47. Hmar People's Convention- Democracy (HPC-D)

    48. Hmar Revolutionary Front (HRF)

    49. Zomi Revolutionary Army (ZRA)

    50. Zomi Revolutionary Volunteers (ZRV)

    51. Indigenous People's Revolutionary Alliance(IRPA)

    52. Kom Rem People's Convention (KRPC)

    53. Chin Kuki Revolutionary Front (CKRF)

    54. Hynniewtrep National Liberation Council (HNLC)

    55. Achik National Volunteer Council (ANVC)

    56. People's Liberation Front of Meghalaya (PLF-M)

    57. Hajong United Liberation Army (HULA)

    58. National Socialist Council of Nagaland (Isak-Muivah) – NSCN(IM)

    59. National Socialist Council of Nagaland (Khaplang) – NSCN (K)

    60. Naga National Council (Adino) – NNC (Adino)

    61. Babbar Khalsa International (BKI)

    62. Khalistan Zindabad Force (KZF)

    63. International Sikh Youth Federation (ISYF)

    64. Khalistan Commando Force (KCF)

    65. All-India Sikh Students Federation (AISSF)

    66. Bhindala Tigers Force of Khalistan (BTFK)

    67. Khalistan Liberation Army (KLA)

    68. Khalistan Liberation Front (KLF)

    69. Khalistan Armed Force (KAF)

    70. Dashmesh Regiment

    71. Khalistan Liberation Organisation (KLO)

    72. Khalistan National Army (KNA)

    73. National Liberation Front of Tripura (NLFT)

    74. All Tripura Tiger Force (ATTF)

    75. Tripura Liberation Organisation Front (TLOF)

    76. United Bengali Liberation Front (UBLF)

    77. Tripura Tribal Volunteer Force (TTVF)

    78. Tripura Armed Tribal Commando Force (TATCF)

    79. Tripura Tribal Democratic Force (TTDF)

    80. Tripura Tribal Youth Force (TTYF)

    81. Tripura Liberation Force (TLF)

    82. Tripura Defence Force (TDF)

    83. All Tripura Volunteer Force (ATVF)

    84. Tribal Commando Force (TCF)

    85. Tripura Tribal Youth Force (TTYF)

    86. All Tripura Bharat Suraksha Force (ATBSF)

    87. Tripura Tribal Action Committee Force (TTACF) Socialist Democratic

    88. Front of Tripura (SDFT)

    89. All Tripura National Force (ATNF)

    90. Tripura Tribal Sengkrak Force (TTSF)

    91. Tiger Commando Force (TCF)

    92. Tripura Mukti Police (TMP)

    93. Tripura Rajya Raksha Bahini (TRRB)

    94. Tripura State Volunteers (TSV)

    95. Tripura National Democratic Tribal Force (TNDTF)

    96. National Militia of Tripura (NMT)

    97. All Tripura Bengali Regiment (ATBR)

    98. Bangla Mukti Sena (BMS)

    99. All Tripura Liberation Organisation (ATLO)

    100. Tripura National Army (TNA)

    101. Tripura State Volunteers (TSV)

    102. Borok National Council of Tripura (BNCT)

    103. Mizoram

    104. Bru National Liberation Front

    105. Hmar People's Convention- Democracy (HPC-D)

    106. Arunachal Pradesh

    107. Arunachal Dragon Force (ADF)

    108. Left-wing Extremist groups

    109. People's Guerrilla Army

    110. People's War Group

    111. Maoist Communist Centre

    112. Communist Party of India-Maoist (CPI-Maoist)

    113. Communist Party of India (Marxist Leninist) Janashaktih

    114. Tamil National Retrieval Troops (TNRT)

    SOME MORE FREEDOM FIGHTING ORGANIZATIONS IN INDIA

    Akhil Bharat Nepali Ekta Samaj (ABNES)
    Al Badr
    All Tripura Tiger Force
    Al-Qaida
    Al-Umar-Mujahideen
    Babbar Khalsa International
    Communist Party of India (Maoist) all its formations and front organisations
    Communist Party of India (Marxist-Leninist) - People’s War, All its formations and front organizations
    Deendar Anjuman
    Dukhtaran-e-Millat (DEM)
    Harkat-ul-Mujahideen / Harkat-ul-Ansar / Harkat-ul-Jehad-e-Islami
    Hizb-ul-Mujahideen / Hizb-ul-Mujahideen Pir Panjal Regiment
    Indian Mujahideen and all its formations and front organisations
    International Sikh Youth Federation
    Jaish-e-Mohammad / Tahrik-e-Furqan
    Jamiat-ul-Mujahideen
    Jammu and Kashmir Islamic Front
    Kanglei Yawol Kanna Lup (KYKL)
    Kangleipak Communist Party (KCP)
    Khalistan Commando Force
    Khalistan Zindabad Force
    Lashkar-e-Taiba/ Pasban-e-Ahle Hadis
    Manipur People’s Liberation Front (MPLF)
    Maoist Communist Centre (MCC), All its formations and Front Organisations
    National Democratic Front of Bodoland (NDFB)
    National Liberation Front of Tripura
    People's Revolutionary Party of Kangleippak (PREPAK)
    Students Islamic Movement of India
    Tamil Nadu Liberation Army (TNLA)
    Tamil National Retrieval Troops (TNRT)
    Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE)
    United Liberation Front of Assam (ULFA)
    United National Liberation Front (UNLF)
    Students Islamic Movement of India (SIMI)[

    United Liberation Front of Asom (ULFA)
    National Democratic Front of Bodoland (NDFB)
    United People's Democratic Solidarity (UPDS)
    Kamtapur Liberation Organisation (KLO)
    Bodo Liberation Tiger Force (BLTF)
    Dima Halim Daogah (DHD)
    Karbi National Volunteers (KNV)
    Rabha National Security Force (RNSF)
    Koch-Rajbongshi Liberation Organisation (KRLO)
    Hmar People's Convention- Democracy (HPC-D)
    Karbi People's Front (KPF)
    Tiwa National Revolutionary Force (TNRF)
    Bircha Commando Force (BCF)
    Bengali Tiger Force (BTF)
    Adivasi Security Force (ASF)
    All Assam Adivasi Suraksha Samiti (AAASS)
    Gorkha Tiger Force (GTF)
    Barak Valley Youth Liberation Front (BVYLF)
    Muslim United Liberation Tigers of Assam (MULTA)
    United Liberation Front of Barak Valley
    Muslim United Liberation Front of Assam (MULFA)
    Muslim Security Council of Assam (MSCA)
    United Liberation Militia of Assam (ULMA)
    Islamic Liberation Army of Assam (ILAA)
    Muslim Volunteer Force (MVF)
    Muslim Liberation Army (MLA)
    Muslim Security Force (MSF)
    Islamic Sevak Sangh (ISS)
    Islamic United Reformation Protest of India (IURPI)
    United Muslim Liberation Front of Assam (UMLFA)
    Revolutionary Muslim Commandos (RMC)
    Muslim Tiger Force (MTF)
    People’s United Liberation Front (PULF)
    Adam Sena (AS)
    Harkat-ul-Mujahideen
    Harkat-ul-Jehad
    Jammu & Kashmir

    Wow!!! So many freedom fighting outfits in India. WOW!!!
    Hinddooos must be pulling their usual "suppress the minorities routine" on them. After all the protesting, they took matters in their own hands. So there we have it.

    INDIA, A FREEDOM FIGHTING CENTRALE!!!

    Gimme Kashmir!! Gimme Sikhland!! Gimme Tamil Land!!! Gimme Muslimland!!!

    WAIT WAIT.....SOME MORE FREEDOM FIGHTING ORGANIZATIONS IN INDIA

    Akhil Bharat Nepali Ekta Samaj (ABNES)
    Al Badr
    All Tripura Tiger Force
    Al-Qaida
    Al-Umar-Mujahideen
    Babbar Khalsa International
    Communist Party of India (Maoist) all its formations and front organisations
    Communist Party of India (Marxist-Leninist) - People’s War, All its formations and front organizations
    Deendar Anjuman
    Dukhtaran-e-Millat (DEM)
    Harkat-ul-Mujahideen / Harkat-ul-Ansar / Harkat-ul-Jehad-e-Islami
    Hizb-ul-Mujahideen / Hizb-ul-Mujahideen Pir Panjal Regiment
    Indian Mujahideen and all its formations and front organisations
    International Sikh Youth Federation
    Jaish-e-Mohammad / Tahrik-e-Furqan
    Jamiat-ul-Mujahideen
    Jammu and Kashmir Islamic Front
    Kanglei Yawol Kanna Lup (KYKL)
    Kangleipak Communist Party (KCP)
    Khalistan Commando Force
    Khalistan Zindabad Force
    Lashkar-e-Taiba/ Pasban-e-Ahle Hadis
    Manipur People’s Liberation Front (MPLF)
    Maoist Communist Centre (MCC), All its formations and Front Organisations
    National Democratic Front of Bodoland (NDFB)
    National Liberation Front of Tripura
    People's Revolutionary Party of Kangleipak (PREPAK)
    Students Islamic Movement of India
    Tamil Nadu Liberation Army (TNLA)
    Tamil National Retrieval Troops (TNRT)
    Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE)
    United Liberation Front of Assam (ULFA)
    United National Liberation Front (UNLF)
    Students Islamic Movement of India (SIMI)[

    United Liberation Front of Asom (ULFA)
    National Democratic Front of Bodoland (NDFB)
    United People's Democratic Solidarity (UPDS)
    Kamtapur Liberation Organisation (KLO)
    Bodo Liberation Tiger Force (BLTF)
    Dima Halim Daogah (DHD)
    Karbi National Volunteers (KNV)
    Rabha National Security Force (RNSF)
    Koch-Rajbongshi Liberation Organisation (KRLO)
    Hmar People's Convention- Democracy (HPC-D)
    Karbi People's Front (KPF)
    Tiwa National Revolutionary Force (TNRF)
    Bircha Commando Force (BCF)
    Bengali Tiger Force (BTF)
    Adivasi Security Force (ASF)
    All Assam Adivasi Suraksha Samiti (AAASS)
    Gorkha Tiger Force (GTF)
    Barak Valley Youth Liberation Front (BVYLF)
    Muslim United Liberation Tigers of Assam (MULTA)
    United Liberation Front of Barak Valley
    Muslim United Liberation Front of Assam (MULFA)
    Muslim Security Council of Assam (MSCA)
    United Liberation Militia of Assam (ULMA)
    Islamic Liberation Army of Assam (ILAA)
    Muslim Volunteer Force (MVF)
    Muslim Liberation Army (MLA)
    Muslim Security Force (MSF)
    Islamic Sevak Sangh (ISS)
    Islamic United Reformation Protest of India (IURPI)
    United Muslim Liberation Front of Assam (UMLFA)
    Revolutionary Muslim Commandos (RMC)
    Muslim Tiger Force (MTF)
    People’s United Liberation Front (PULF)
    Adam Sena (AS)
    Harkat-ul-Mujahideen
    Harkat-ul-Jehad
    Jammu & Kashmir

    WAIT ... WAIT .......EVEN MORE FREEDOM FIGHTING ORGANIZATIONS IN INDIA::

    Hynniewtrep National Liberation Council (HNLC)
    Achik National Volunteer Council (ANVC)
    People’s Liberation Front of Meghalaya (PLF-M)
    Hajong United Liberation Army (HULA)
    Nagaland

    National Socialist Council of Nagaland (Isak-Muivah) – NSCN(IM)
    National Socialist Council of Nagaland (Khaplang) – NSCN (K)
    Naga National Council (Adino) – NNC (Adino)
    Punjab
    Babbar Khalsa International (BKI)
    Khalistan Zindabad Force (KZF)
    International Sikh Youth Federation (ISYF)
    Khalistan Commando Force (KCF)
    All-India Sikh Students Federation (AISSF)
    Bhindala Tigers Force of Khalistan (BTFK)
    Khalistan Liberation Army (KLA)
    Khalistan Liberation Front (KLF)
    Khalistan Armed Force (KAF)
    Dashmesh Regiment
    Khalistan Liberation Organisation (KLO)
    Khalistan National Army (KNA)

    National Liberation Front of Tripura (NLFT)
    All Tripura Tiger Force (ATTF)
    Tripura Liberation Organisation Front (TLOF)
    United Bengali Liberation Front (UBLF)
    Tripura Tribal Volunteer Force (TTVF)
    Tripura Armed Tribal Commando Force (TATCF)
    Tripura Tribal Democratic Force (TTDF)
    Tripura Tribal Youth Force (TTYF)
    Tripura Liberation Force (TLF)
    Tripura Defence Force (TDF)
    All Tripura Volunteer Force (ATVF)
    Tribal Commando Force (TCF)
    Tripura Tribal Youth Force (TTYF)
    All Tripura Bharat Suraksha Force (ATBSF)
    Tripura Tribal Action Committee Force (TTACF)
    Socialist Democratic Front of Tripura (SDFT)
    All Tripura National Force (ATNF)
    Tripura Tribal Sengkrak Force (TTSF)
    Tiger Commando Force (TCF)
    Tripura Mukti Police (TMP)
    Tripura Rajya Raksha Bahini (TRRB)
    Tripura State Volunteers (TSV)
    Tripura National Democratic Tribal Force (TNDTF)

    EVEN MORE FREEDOM FIGHTING ORGANIZATIONS IN INDIA::

    National Militia of Tripura (NMT)
    All Tripura Bengali Regiment (ATBR)
    Bangla Mukti Sena (BMS)
    All Tripura Liberation Organisation (ATLO)
    Tripura National Army (TNA)
    Tripura State Volunteers (TSV)
    Borok National Council of Tripura (BNCT)
    Mizoram
    Bru National Liberation Front
    Hmar People's Convention- Democracy (HPC-D)

    Arunachal Dragon Force (ADF)

    Communist Party of India-Maoist (CPI-Maoist)
    People's War Group
    Maoist Communist Centre
    People's Guerrilla Army
    Communist Party of India-Marxist Leninist-Janashakti(CPI-ML-Janashakti)
    Tritiya Prastuti Committee (TPC)

    Tamil National Retrieval Troops (TNRT)
    Akhil Bharat Nepali Ekta Samaj (ABNES)
    Tamil Nadu Liberation Army (TNLA)
    Deendar Anjuman
    Students Islamic Movement of India (SIMI)
    Asif Reza Commando Force
    Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE)
    Kamatapur Liberation Organisation (KLO)
    Ranvir Sena

    Wow!!! So many freedom fighting outfits in India. WOW!!!
    Hinddooos must be pulling their usual "suppress the minorities routine" on them. After all the protesting, they took matters in their own hands. So there we have it.

    INDIA, A FREEDOM FIGHTING CENTRALE!!!

    Gimme Kashmir!! Gimme Sikhland!! Gimme Tamil Land!!! Gimme Muslimland!!!

    FOLKS, just look at all the Freedom Fighting Outfits in India. They ain't no soup kitchens. Right?

    AND THEY ALL CAN'T BE WRONG !!!

    Hmmmmmm..

    February 1, 2015 at 8:54 am | Reply
  16. Slate

    Fareed Zakaria, read my lips. Your biased bigotted reporting has been met with disdain. Your logic is flawed. Your facts are wrong. Your journalism is unethical. You present yourself as a CIA agent. You are a plagiarist. YES, FAREEED, YOU ARE A PLAGIARIST. Is that how you passed your college courses? Your diplomas should be taken back!!!!

    February 1, 2015 at 9:00 am | Reply
    • Vanessa

      I would investigate how he passed his courses in college. He probably was a plagiarist in school.

      February 1, 2015 at 9:31 am | Reply
  17. Slate

    Quack Quack Quack
    Fareed walks like a duck.
    Fareed talks like a duck.
    Fareed must be a duck.
    Quack Quack Quack.
    FOIE GRAS ANYONE !
    Merci, Mon Ami.

    February 1, 2015 at 9:04 am | Reply
  18. Slate

    INDIA::: THE KEROSENE CULTURE

    :::60% or 420 million men in India think that rayping and burning wife alive for dowry by spraying kerosene and lighting her up is acceptable

    :::20% or 140 million women have been gang rayped in India

    :::There is a raype every 2 seconds in India

    :::95% of hindus don't have toilets in India

    February 1, 2015 at 9:08 am | Reply
  19. bobcat2u

    After it was all over and Noah lowered the ramp of the ark for all the
    animals to leave, he told the animals "To go forth and multiply."All the animals left except two snakes who lay quietly in the corner of the
    ark."Why can't you go forth and multiply?" demanded Noah."We can't," answered the snakes. "We're adders."

    February 1, 2015 at 1:29 pm | Reply
    • Fairy'd Zacharia

      At least the snake Eve used didn't need batteries.

      February 1, 2015 at 1:36 pm | Reply
  20. Fairy'd Zacharia

    Fareed isn't a spreader of AIDS you know.

    February 1, 2015 at 1:31 pm | Reply
  21. bobcat2u

    IF THESE WERE THE TIMES OF NOAH :

    And the Lord spoke to Noah and said: "In six months I'm going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people, and two of every kind ofliving thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build Me an Ark."
    And in a flash of lightning he delivered the specifications for an Ark. "OK," said Noah, trembling in fear and fumbling with the blueprints. "Six months, and it starts to rain," thundered the Lord. "You'd better have my Ark completed, or learn how to swim for a very long time." And six months passed. The skies began to cloud up and rain began to fall.
    The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard, weeping. And there was no Ark. "Noah," shouted the Lord, "where is my Ark?" A lightning bolt crashed into the ground next to Noah.
    "Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best. But there were big problems. First I had to get a building permit for the Ark construction project, and your plans didn't meet code. So I had to hire an engineer to redraw the plans. Then I got into a big fight over whether or not the Ark needed a fire sprinkler system. My neighbors objected, claiming I was violating zoning by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission.
    Then I had a big problem getting enough wood for the Ark because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the Spotted Owl. I had to convince U.S. Fish and Wildlife that I needed the wood to save the owls. But they wouldn't let me catch any owls. So no owls.
    Then the carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Relations Board before anyone would pick up a saw or a hammer. Now we have 16 carpenters going on the boat, and still no owls.
    Then I started gathering up animals, and got sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me taking only two of each kind. Just when I got the suit dismissed, EPA notified me that I couldn't complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn't take kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of a Supreme Being.
    Then the Army Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the Proposed new flood plain. I sent them a globe.
    Right now I'm still trying to resolve a complaint from the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission over how many Croatians I'm supposed to hire, the IRS has seized all my assets claiming I'm trying to avoid paying taxes by leaving the country, and I just got a notice from the state about owing some kind of use tax. I really don't think I can finish your Ark for at least another five years," Noah wailed.
    The sky began to clear. The sun began to shine. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled. "You mean you're not going to destroy the earth?" Noah asked, hopefully.
    "No," said the Lord sadly, "Government already has."

    February 1, 2015 at 1:35 pm | Reply
    • Philip

      ...and The Word actually states that God "felt regret" after drowning virtually ever single man, woman and child on earth.
      Anger is expressed hurt. God has feelings too. And violent people hurt God's feelings.
      God has big feelings for us don't you know?

      February 1, 2015 at 1:47 pm | Reply
      • banasy©

        Shrug. God, it can be argued, is ostensibly the biggest mass-murderer of all time. And relied on men's LUST for his close relatives to repopulate the world.

        February 1, 2015 at 1:54 pm |
  22. Philip

    "Just as in the days of Noah" when but a few people survived God's great wrath is what Jesus said concerning the times we are now living in.
    There is NOTHING funny about it, Bob.

    February 1, 2015 at 1:39 pm | Reply
    • Philip

      The earth "became filled with violence" during the days of Noah. God abhors violence, it says.
      "Men inflamed with VIOLENT lust for one another", it says. Things that do not please our God.

      February 1, 2015 at 1:43 pm | Reply
  23. bobcat2u

    After the Ark had landed on Mt Ararat, the survivors
    went forth. After a while, one of the wives noticed her father-in-law
    sitting on the ground and chewing animal hides. Every now and then,
    the father-in-law would chew a particularly hirsute hide and make a
    notation on a tablet.
    The wife asked her husband what his father was doing, to which the
    son replied, "What can I say, there is Noah counting fur tastes".

    February 1, 2015 at 1:48 pm | Reply
  24. bobcat2u

    One day, God speaks to Noah. "Noah", he says, "I want you to build
    another Ark."
    "What, like the last one?" asks Noah.
    "Yes," replies God, "Except this time, I want it to have 14 decks."
    "And shall I lead all the animals into it, two by two, like last
    time?' asks Noah.
    "No, this time I only want you to lead fish into it".
    Noah is a little puzzled. "Just fish?" he asks.
    "Yes," says God. "In fact, just carp."
    "Just carp? Why carp?" Noah quizzes.
    "Well," says God, "I've always wanted a multi-storey carp Ark!"

    February 1, 2015 at 1:52 pm | Reply
    • banasy©

      This is a groaner, Rawr.

      February 1, 2015 at 1:55 pm | Reply
  25. Philip

    We are all going to die by the sword of Jesus Christ don't you know.

    February 1, 2015 at 1:55 pm | Reply
    • banasy©

      Are we going to die or not? Because your messages on this subject is mixed, at best.

      You argued with me yesterday when I said "life has a 100% fatality rate."

      February 1, 2015 at 1:57 pm | Reply
  26. Philip

    "We America" I meant. Of course there will be survivors in a spiritual Noah's ark.

    February 1, 2015 at 2:02 pm | Reply
    • banasy©

      You are aware that America isn't a synonym for "world", correct?

      February 1, 2015 at 2:22 pm | Reply
  27. bobcat2u

    A man was praying to god.
    He said, "God?"
    God responded, "Yes?"
    And the Guy said, "Can I ask a question?"
    "Go right ahead", God said.
    "God, what is a million years to you?"
    God said, "A million years to me is only a second."
    The man wondered.
    Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"
    God said, "A million dollars to me is a penny."
    So the man said, "God can I have a penny?"
    And God cheerfully said,
    *
    *
    *
    "Sure!...... .just wait a second."

    February 1, 2015 at 2:05 pm | Reply
  28. Philip

    God "felt regret" after killing virtually everyone with a flood and gave mankind the Rainbow. A solemn promise to never do it again. His son did not.
    "Do NOT think I come to bring peace into the world" said God's son Jesus Christ. "I come with a sword" he said.
    Fear Jesus Christ, not the government, or die. So says The Word.
    And you think Jesus is your buddy. He is not. He is God's assigned executioner of warring men and loose women.

    February 1, 2015 at 2:12 pm | Reply
    • bobcat2u

      The rainbow was an affirmation from god that he would never again destroy the world by flood.

      February 1, 2015 at 2:23 pm | Reply
      • bobcat2u

        Btw

        Ref :
        Genesis 9: 12-13
        Then God said to Noah and to his sons with him, “Behold, I establish my covenant with you and your offspring after you, and with every living creature that is with you, the birds, the livestock, and every beast of the earth with you, as many as came out of the ark; it is for every beast of the earth. I establish my covenant with you, that never again shall all flesh be cut off by the waters of the flood, and never again shall there be a flood to destroy the earth.” And God said, “This is the sign of the covenant that I make between me and you and every living creature that is with you, for all future generations: ...

        February 1, 2015 at 2:32 pm |
  29. bobcat2u

    Three churches – Baptist, Methodist, and Presbyterian – worked together to sponsor a community- wide revival. After the revival had concluded, the three pastors were discussing the results with one another.

    The Methodist minister said, "The revival worked out great for us! We gained 4 new families."

    The Baptist preacher said, "We did better than that! We gained 6 new families."

    The Presbyterian pastor said, "Well, we did even better than that! We got rid of our 10 biggest troublemakers!"

    February 1, 2015 at 2:15 pm | Reply
  30. banasy©

    DT w/ JH

    If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.

    February 1, 2015 at 2:16 pm | Reply
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