January 22nd, 2015
11:30 PM ET
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@fareedzakaria on Twitter
Important piece by a major figure in Ukraine, stressing what the real prize is for Ukraine. Perhaps the hints of antwitter.com/i/web/status/1…7n
RT @SteveRattner: It's the guns. https://t.co/pnhERoRLaj
Today's last look: While Putin outlandishly claims to be de-Nazifying Ukraine, the International Criminal Court's ctwitter.com/i/web/status/1…Fd
Pressing questions about the banking crisis: Is the Fed handling this correctly? How can it manage a delicate tradetwitter.com/i/web/status/1…lF
What can China gain by cozying up to Putin's Russia?
From today's GPS, my conversation with the @spectator’stwitter.com/i/web/status/1…vHyo
Give me Indian caca
I shall eat caca in Kashmir.
Caca. I want caca.
Ok. Caca please.
Do you like caca? well I do. I like caca Very much.
Does blue saffron like caca? Yes he does.
Caca greed is good.
Freedom Fighters eat caca.
What do you mean I'm writing comments too fast? Utterly proposterous.
.
.
COMMENTS SECTION IS NOW REOPENED
Ok. Thank you.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender:
Brunette: “I’ll have a B and C.”
Bartender: “What is a B and C?”.
Brunette: “Bourbon and Coke.”
Redhead: “And, I’ll have a G and T.”
Bartender: “What’s a G and T?”
Redhead: “Gin and tonic.”
Blonde: “I’ll have a 15.”
Bartender: “What’s a 15?”
Blonde: “7 and 7″
Say hello to the nice people kids !
Mom!! The Trig-tard is standing on the dog again !!
* drool *
An old man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender notices the guy's head is the size of a cue ball.
"I got to ask, sir," says the bartender. "What happened?"
The old guy sighs and tells him, "My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. A mermaid rescued me and promised to grant me three wishes. For my first wish, I asked to return to the States. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Finally, my third wish was to have s ex with the mermaid."
"That doesn't sound too bad," says the bartender. "Then what happened?"
"Well," sighs the man, "mermaids can't have s ex, so I asked her if I could just have a little head... ."
A new business was opening, and one of the owner’s friends sent flowers for the occasion. But when the owner read the card with the flowers, it said. “Rest in Peace”
The owner was little upset and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist about the obvious mistake, the florist said, “Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rater than getting angry, you should imagine this: Somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, “Congratulations on you new location.”
It took Sarah Palin six years to get a four-year degree from five third-rate schools.
Hi folks. I eat caca.
Mmmmmmm... caca
* drool *
Put that caca down !! You drooling little freak tard !!
Folks, Experimental democracy is DOA (Dead On Arrival) in India. It is has never worked in large populated countries. Particularly those with mostly illiterate populace such as India. The recent "selection" of Modi ....a murderer, raipist and stalker is a testament to this failure. Too big to manage, minorities such as muslims, sikhs, christians get disenfranchised etc. India will need to go back to its socialist/communist roots. Maybe splitting it up into smaller pieces (circa USSR) is an alternate scenario. CIA is probably running some models to deal with the potential implosion.
The following is dedicated to our poop AFICIONADO :
We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something a brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those of you who hate pooping at work as much as I do, I give you the...
Unofficial Survival Guide for Taking a Dump at Work.
Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.
Escapee
Definition: a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic embarras sment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.
Jailbreak (Used in conjunction with Escapee)
Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
Courtesy Flush
Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
Walk of Shame
Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.
Out of the Closet Pooper
Definition: A colleague who poops at work and proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.
The Pooping Friends Network
Definition: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.
Safe Havens
Definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite s ex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your s ex entering the bathroom.
Turd Burglar
Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
Camo-Cough
Definition: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.
Astaire
Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.
Watermelon
Definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarras sing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
Havana Omlet
Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.
Uncle Ted
Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.
Fly By
Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become susp icious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender asks the man what he wants. The man says, "Give me a Bud Lite."
When the bartender brings him the beer, he notices the guy pokes at his hand and starts talking. When he stops talking, the bartender asks, "What are you doing with your hand on your face?"
The guy says, "A while ago I was hit by lightning and from then on my hand became a cell phone."
The bartender says, "Oh! You're full of it!"
So the guy says, "If you don't believe me, then here! Tell me your phone number and I will dial it.
The bartender says, "Dial 654-8967."
The guy did so and hands the phone to the bartender who talks with his wife and kids.
After a few drinks, the guy goes into the bathroom. Two other guys come in and the bartender asks they if they saw the guy whose hand is a cell phone. The two guys say "Oh, you're full of it!" The bartender tells them if they don't believe him, then wait until he comes out of the bathroom and they can see for themselves.
After about 15 minutes the guy still hadn't come out of the bathroom so the bartender goes to check on him. When the bartender goes into the bathroom he sees the guy standing there pants down and toilet paper rolling out of his butt. The bartender asks, "What the heck are you doing?"
The guy says, "Hold on a second! I'm getting a fax!"
A young man was delighted to finally be asked home to meet the parents of the young woman held been seeing for some time. He was quite nervous about the meeting, though, and by the time he arrived punctually at the doorstep he was in a state of gastric distress. The problem developed into one of acute flatulence, and halfway through the canapes the young man realized he couldn't hold it in one second longer without exploding. A tiny fart escaped.
"SPOT!" called out the young woman's mother to the family dog, lying at the young man's feet.
Relieved at the dog's having been blamed, the young man let another, slightly larger one go. "Spot!" she called out sharply. "I've got it made," thought the fellow to himself. One more and I'll feel fine. So he let loose a really big one.
"Spot!" shrieked the mother. "Get over here before he poops on you!"
D'oh!
A growing number of us are convinced that Sarah Palin is the only one who can heal and re-unify our country. But first she must return to her motorhome and resume her cross country tour. She will have to visit cities both large and small, being careful to speak only to real Americans, dispensing her sage advice and folksy, homespun common sense solutions. We can be a great nation again if we all follow the "Palin Path".
– Tea Party Patriot –
Pack up your temperature sensors, your climate-modeling supercomputers, your tree and ice core sample equipment. Sarah Palin has spoken on climate change, and she says it’s snowing in Alaska, ergo “global warming my gluteus maximus,” Q.E.D. And you know it’s science because she used the Latin word for “ass.”
Sarah Palin only backs winning horses like John McCain, Bristol and Levi’s marriage, and her own gubernatorial career, so if she says climate science is a non-starter then by god, we’re just going to throw in the towel.
Sarah Palin's entire schtick is repeating ridiculous lies and simply opposing things that liberals support for no other reason than to be a childish, annoying, petulant troublemaker. It's clear that she has no actual values or ideas. Just narcissism and greed...and she's lazy with no work ethic. Anybody who would vote for her for a serious role in government is the epitome of a low information voter.
Ditto Hillbillary Clinton and her little groupies.
A young bull was prancing around an old Bull and said Hey grampa! Let's run down there and breed one of them cows! The old Bull stood up and said No. Let's walk down there and breed them all.
One day two cattle ranchers were looking at their herd and one said to the other Our calves look kind of scraggly this year. And so the other rancher said Yup. I think it's about time we bought ourselves a new bull.
And so they hitched the trailer to their truck and drove-off to the livestock auction to buy a new bull.
Well. Meanwhile the 3 bulls they already had were listening- in on their conversation. The oldest Bull said "That new bull ain't getting none of my cows". And the two younger bulls agreed. Later that afternoon the 2 cattle ranchers came back with a trailer hanging low from the weight of the new bull they had bought. When the huge Bull emerged from the trailer the other 3 bulls went into shock. A huge Bull weighing 3000 lbs. The oldest bull said "Ahem. He is a fellow bull of ours and so is welcome to all of my cows"
The next bull said "I agree. This new brother bull is welcome to any of my cows too." The third bull...a young scrawny one that only had a few cows liking him...he began to snort and rake his horns in the dirt. And use his hoofs to tear-up turf. The other two Bulls said What? That new bull could easily kill you. Calm down, son. The little bull said I am only doing this to make dang sure he knows I'm not a cow.
The earths climate has been slowly and gently warming for over 10 thousand years, naturally.
All that mankind's pollution has done is make the air smell bad, and altered the rate at which water evaporates. Which causes violent weather extremes, not "Global Warming".
Nothing can stop the earth from becoming the warm global paradise God purposed it to be. Nothing. So yeah. Throw in the towel. It's a done deal.
Some of you might recall back in the 70's the official story was the world would run out of oil and natural gas by the year 2000. And that we humans had burned a hole in earth's ozone layer.
Well. Look. We still have plenty of oil and extremely huge Ng reserved that would take humans thousands of years to consume. And now scientists tell us the truth about that "hole" in the ozone layer. It was made by one single giant volcano in Antarctica, and without it life on earth never could have happened.
Both tree huggers and rich industrialists are full of crapm
Don't listen to this guy. He's full of it. ^^
He's too stupid to understand what scientists tell him. ^^